The twisted minds of two of the six writers of "Scary Movie" tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in "Epic Movie." The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a "normal" resident of a mutant "X"-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a "G"). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White B*tch of Gnarnia.
Absolutely sickening that David Carradine was ever attached to this movie (no matter how small the role was). One of the few times where the second viewing was worse than the original. Probably better than Date Movie but that's just splitting hairs. Really, how is it that movies like this continue to get made yet Daredevil can't get a sequel and Grindhouse bombs at the box office?
Dude, Carradine has to feed his bastard children around the world somehow. Besides, where the hell where you for about 20 years before KILL BILL when that fucker was doing so many B-sci-fi/action turkeys to pay his utility bills.
I forgive guys like Madsen, Carradine brothers, Rutger Hauer, and other vets that admit doing total crap for the paycheck. BEsides, they gotta eat. Its not like super stars of Hollywood that choose deliberately to work on piece of shit blockbusters for way too much money.
As for DAREDEVIL, well it sucking didn't help its sequel chances. Plus, its profit-margins were shit. Oh, and Ben Affleck didn't do that shit anymore, and FOX thought he was financial poison. Plus, that ELEKTRA spin-off sort of failed too.
P.S. - I bet that you're gonna assault on Danny Trejo's ass when you watch DELTA FARCE, right?
