Adding my two cents. I don't think that Tony disturbed AJ's girlfriend as much as Carmella did. I think that her belated refusal of AJ's proposal was because she doesn't want to end up like Carm, especially after AJ tells her that she'll never have to work again, they'll have kids, and so on. I think that she looked at Carm, and saw her future as AJ had it planned.

As for Tony, he is a cheap, heartless bastard. And he always has been. His handling of his crew, the Spatafore problem, his wife, the spec house, all of it just showed that.