I did a Franchise review thread for DIE HARD last year, now I will venture into a long time ago, in a place far far away with STAR WARS. No, I won't review the much molested preqels, but they'll have their moment of pain eventually.

Oh, and I'll review both original and Special Edition versions, with comments on Papa George's changes.

STAR WARS (1977) - ***** - Masterpiece

I won't say the usual garbage you read in reviews of this movie. No "Buck Rogers/Flash Gordon," no "feel-good movie in the wake of Vietnam," and especially not the biggest bullshit people keep insisting:

That STAR WARS "sparked" Hollywood's interest in science fiction.

What the movie did for Hollywood was simply give bigger budgets, and mostly simplify the then-existing sci-fi flicks from social commentaries into generic popcorn flicks. If anything, a better argument that people can make is that STAR WARS might have inadvertedly been the biggest problem for sci-fi within Hollywood afterwards.

Afterwards, all sci-fi in Hollywood pretty much became action movies that were given the window dressings of "sci-fi" so that we could have gun battles in space, alien heads exploding, and the Earth being saved. Oh sure we have the occasional great smart sci-fi non-action movie like BLADE RUNNER, DARK CITY, BRAZIL, TWELVE MONKEYS, etc.

But folks, thats why they're called flukes.

Ok, enough of my pissy rant.

I do think there has been an unfortunate time that has been played on this film. Its played often so much on TV, re-released on DVD to which the nerd-nation eats up, retinkered constantly by George Lucas and his dry-erase pen. Worse, perhaps starting with my generation, its been present our entire lives.

STAR WARS was made with the intention of joining a long tradition of big event popcorn entertainment spectacles, from Errol Flynn's ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD, to Steve McQueen's THE GREAT ESCAPE, 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, you name it.

What that means is, you see it once in theatres...and unless its on the network TV or re-released in theatres, you may never see it again. You even wear it as a badge of honor to people who couldn't see it back in the day.

There was a point when I saw SW maybe what, hundreds of times in my childhood from age 5 to 10? Then starting at 11, girls became more interesting...and I didn't watch this movie until high school.

STAR WARS(no, none of that A NEW HOPE Lucas-revisionistic nonsense) should only be seen once a year, maybe Christmas or summer-time, and make it as big of a event as you can.

If you do this, you'll remember why its a classic. The sheer adventure-fantasy narrative energy that would establish editing cliches and expectations for the next 30 years in action film. The still-impressive Visual Effects(NOTE: Refering to Original Version).

But its the verocious personality that the actors brought to their characters. Mark Hamill brought the naive, if only from being a farmboy his whole life. Harrison Ford as the all-action, all the time cutthroat mercenary who, aw schuks, is actually a decent person. Carrie Fisher as the very tough petite princess that maybe didn't need rescuing. Sir Alec Guinness as the zen master that's too old for this shit. Then of course, James Earl Jones' smooth chocolate bravado voice as the wonderfully evil baddie.

When you watch STAR WARS, you actually appreciate the memorable moments once again, instead of passing through them like a rest stop in New Jersey.

"If this is a diplomatic mission, where is the AMBASSADOR?" *neck snap*

"Briggs is right, I'm never going to get away from this place."

"You never heard of the Millenium Falcon?"
"Should I?"

"Terminate her, immediately!"

"You said it Chewie...where did you dig up that fossil?"

"Nooooooo!"

"Great shot kid, one in a million!"

Its nice to appreciate cinematic wine in its most ripe. Though I guess nothing replaces watching this film for the first time when I was 5. Tsk...

SPECIAL EDITION COMMENTARY - Well, most of the CGI-updating doesn't bother me, probably gave some more space in terms of aerial spaceship shots.

But yeah, the infamously legendary "Greedo shoots first" sequence is f*cking retarded.

Originally, its such a great narrative beat to it.

SUBTITLES - "I've been waiting for this for a long time."
Solo - "Yeah, I bet you have!"

BOOM!

Classic. Instead, that instant beat after Ford's one-liner, which always draws a laugh from people, and a "cool as hell" moment for young boys, is now ruined by Greedo blasting first, or Solo just dodging in time.

Whatever this change in intentions, it fails simply because it looks so RETARDED in how ILM tried to alter film from decades ago.

The Jabba the Hut scene is pointless, and it kills another great favorite scene for me. In the original version, we are introduced to the MILLENIUM FALCON...its a cool looking space ship.

Then Mark Hamill utters, "What a piece of JUNK!"

For us primates in technological-backwards Earth, any spaceship is badass. To those people, its a junk Dodge car made from Saturn parts.

The addtional Briggs sequence before the finale Death Star dogfight footage, I get the idea of it. Make his demise more meaningful to Luke Skywalker, but it doesn't do the extra mustard that its needed. Its a nice scene, but its not necessary. Oh well, the downside of Director's Cuts...

COMING UP: Vader is Luke's daddy. Yeah, I spoiled the ending. Boo yah!