I had an awful dream last night; I say awful, but on the one hand it was vastly exciting, and on the other it spelled doom for my family.

Has anybody ever seen eXistenZ? It was a bit like that, and it was due to me being addicted to playing my mates on Pro Evo for the PS2. Anyway, in the dream, me, my sister and my mother are all in a forest. Then I shout "fairy" to a little fly on a pond, and it turns into a fairy, a bit like Navi in Zelda. Then we're attacked by masked warriors, who throw spears into me (which don't hurt) and then capture us.

It's funny because I kept saying to my family (I don't know where my dad was in the dream) that everything was okay, that I'd read the game manual, the cheat-book, and knew exactly what to do. So we're in this big building, being led off somewhere with a lot of other captives. And then I whisper to my sister to hide behind this big curtain while I got us all free. But as soon as I started beating guards up, and got myself free, I realised I had done it too early in the level.

The dream then took a self-reflexive slant; it acknowledged that it was part of a videogame, and, when I realised that I was trapped in this dream, I went looking for the PS2 controller so that I could press START and look at the manual to figure out how to get out of this mess. But then somebody told me that my PS2 controller had been burned by my captors, and I remember thinking, "Okay, I seriously need to fucking wake up now."

Good job I did, because for a second I thought I'd blown it.