Suck it up Clemens. Shut the fuck up and make up your mind. Seriously. This whole attitude is eerily similar to the numerous "retirements" from pro wrestling, only to return either months later or even on another show.
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As far as Bernie goes, I still say even a minor-league contract is better than nothing. Besides, there will be a spot for him - once they see how much Phelps/Phillips totally suck this spring, no doubt Bernie will get the ML callup.
