Funny, I thought I wrote that EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH was a total piece of dogshit moronic comedy, but in case I didn't: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTHS is a total piece of dogshit moronic comedy.
Besides, Dane Cook is really overrated as a stand-up. Decent, sure. Otherwise, he isn't anymore special than the generic white comic. Let him impress me behind the mic before he jumps to the big screen(though apparently, since EMPLOYEE failed like many of his jokes, he will be forced to. Not like that is a bad thing. Hell, Robin Williams' film career almost died before it began with POPEYE).
Anyway, The biggest reason why I despise the TEXAS CHAINSAW remake from Michael Bay is the cinematography. Everyone looks pretty, the scenery looks pretty. The problem is, so does the gore and the backwoods of Texas(which I've seen, and they aren't pretty).
That's why Rob Zombie impresses me. When he wants to show something that really is a shitty dump, he gives us a shitty dump, whatever it be a run-down gimmick store, trailer park, brothel, etc.
Besides, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING, amazing how the origin of Leatherface and his precious blade is that its just there, and he picks it up. Wow, how....lame.
I'm a closet fan of Dane Cook's standup. His movies are shit, but I silently enjoy his stand up. I think the problem is that he is over-praised. I wouldn't say over-rated, just over-praised. Too many beer-drinking, testostorone-overdriven, sexually awkward (you know... "yer ghey!") college frat boys enjoy his work, and that makes it difficult for me to watch his performances in a crowded room without strangling every single person in that room with my thighs while I force a bottle of excedrin down their throats with my right hand, and slip sheets of blotter into their drinks with my left. It's a mere curse.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
