I also think that the times had something to do with it. Back in the "old days," especially in an italian family, I believe that it was some kind of an ego thing for the men to have as many boys as possible.
BINGO!!
Mike, despite his attempts to act American (like marrying Miss All-American Yankee Kay Adams) proved he was true Old-World Italian. He may have loved his children equally but he held out high hopes for his son.... not his daughter (Mike tries to talk Anthony into staying in school and becoming a lawyer. The only advice he gives to Mary is to stop making gnocchi with her cousin
).
Mike was a lot like his father. The only time we (nearly) see Vito blow his cool is when he was assuring the safe return home (from Sicily) of his son. The only time we see Mike "lose it" is when he learns a son of his was "killed" (not even Vito did THAT).
My paternal grandmother was born of Irish descent in the late-19th century. My parents had three young boys, hoping that their fourth would be a girl, and she was.
When my dad told his mother that he finally got a daughter, she said, "Well, they're nice too." She still had that old world belief that the males were the ones capable of sustaining families and achieving even though her own daughters, whom she loved dearly, established significant careers of their own.
As for Michael in GII, I always saw him as ice cold around his kids and lacking any fatherly instinct. His reference to Anthony that someday he will help him seemed cold as Anthony could not envision the life of deception and murder that was being set out for him. When he returned from Cuba, he had to ask Tom what he had picked up for his son at Christmas (by the way, there was no mention of what poor Mary got). The funeral scene where he sat silently with his kids, his mind a thousand miles away. I think he saw his children as utilitarian objects and that a brother was necessary to help Anthony with the empire and troubles he'd be inheriting.
I always thought it was interesting that the "Was it a boy?" scene came right after the Cuba incident where Michael confronted Fredo about his betrayal. Were Anthony and his lost unborn brother destined to travel a similar path as Michael and Fredo?
