After two years of postseason disappointments and regular-season letdowns, Randy Johnson is heading back to Arizona.
Let me be the first to say: Thank God.
In exchange for a slick-fielding shortstop and a pair of young pitchers, the Diamondbacks are getting a 6’10” sideshow attraction—a means of boosting attendance and a source of false hope. What more can anyone expect from a 43-year-old pitcher coming off of back surgery?
I can’t say that I’ll miss Randy the Country Mouse and his ugly scowl. To me, the Unit was like the G.I. Joe Rolling Thunder that I wanted for Christmas when I was seven. The Rolling Thunder, for those of you who don’t remember, was this huge ten-wheeled tank that could destroy anything the Cobra Commander threw at it...and oh man I wanted it so bad. But I didn’t get the Rolling Thunder when I was seven; I got it the next Christmas, when I was eight, and by that time all my friends had one—and most of them were already broken.
The moral of the story: I got the Rolling Thunder a year too late.
Just like the Yankees did with Johnson.
To be fair, Randy did win 17 games in each of his two seasons in New York. But it was the Yankees lineup won those games for him—not his 90-MPH fastball or his flat slider.
Put it this way: If he’d been playing for, say, Tampa Bay, I don’t think Johnson’s 5.02 ERA would have been good for seventeen wins.
This trade is great for New York on two levels. First, obviously, the Yankees are acquiring two young arms. Second—and no less importantly—the Bombers are unloading most of the $17 million they owe to Randy this year. At 6’10”, that works out to about $3 million per foot—money that could be much spent on younger and shorter players.
This move is part of what has been a welcome change of pace for the Yankees this offseason: No more overspending on old players. I expressed hope in a previous article that the times they were are a changin’ in New York...and it looks like my prediction is coming true. If nothing else, it’s safe say that Brian Cashman finally has the Yankees sailing in the right direction.
Gary “Me Me Me” Sheffield?
Gone.
Jaret “It’s the fourth inning who’s warming up?” Wright?
Ditto.
Randy “Get out of my face” Johnson?
Back to the desert, with the rest of America’s retirement-age population.
Instead, Cashman is focused on pitching and defense—the two things that win championships. To wit:
He’s stocking the Yankee farm system with young pitchers, none of whom are slated for back surgery anytime in the near future.
He’s solidified the Yankee infield with the signing of Doug Mientkiewicz, who can’t hit a lick but should finally fill the Bombers’ defensive void at first base. (And who needs more offense when your number-eight hitter hit .342 last year?)
He’s even brought back Andy Petitte, who was a core player on the Yankees championship teams—and who oh by the way is a dependable lefty with a knack for winning big games.
My final analysis: I love it.
With players like Barry Zito and Carlos Lee going for more than $100 million, it’s nice to see the Yankees take a step back while other teams waste their money this offseason. It’s almost like watching that fat guy who’s finally gone on a diet: Normally he’d eat that entire pizza pie, but this time he's opting for a nice side salad.
And everyone’s thankful for it.
So Yankee fans, wave goodbye to crusty old Randy Johnson—and say hello to a leaner, meaner, and much less ugly world order in the Bronx.
