Ton of shit. First time in two years that I didn't just one highly expensive present.

-Creative Zen:M 30 GB (I had wanted a 60 GB, but my mother was told it "makes noise"... what ever the hell that means... She offered to send it back in exchange for the 60, but I don't know if I will. I'm far too lazy)

-The remastered edition CD of RHCP's "Freaky Styley"... I couldn't find it anywhere here in the 'burbs. I finally own real, non-pirated copies of all their albums. Hoo-rah!

-RHCP's Off the Map, live DVD

-You know those Vans checker-pattern slip-on shoes? I got a pair with white and lime green checks on them. I love them... They're so obnoxiously bright, loud, and funky. Lime green is the best color in the history of the world.

-Quite a few kick'n t-shirts... About four or five. One Radiohead shirt, one RHCP shirt, one Sublime shirt, two Pink Floyd shirts... And I may be forgetting one.

-Two pairs of pajama bottoms. Good thing, I only owned one pair previously that fit me. They hadn't been washed in months. What can I say? I'm nasty, and I'm not one to spend money on clothes unless I see something completely goofy and abstract, or it's totally necessary.

-A paperback copy of A Clockwork Orange... One of the best books ever written, in my opinion.

-A paperback copy of Deadeye Dick by Kurt Vonnegut

-A ridiculously large, yet very cool book titled 1001 Movies to See Before You Die. Not only can I use this book to kill and skin a wild animal (it's huge), I can use it to find some great reccomendations.

-Uncensored Director's cut of Spun.

-Additional stocking stuffers/gift cars/money that I am forgetting.

"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."