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"And now to our correspondent with the Godfather Olympics in Appalachin. Today he's covering the Button Man competition where the object is to see how fast one can kill, chop up, and dispose of a hit. We've got competitors here today from the underworlds of Mafia, Traid, Kazura, Jamaican, Columbian just to name a few. It's hard to believe that within days after these friendly competitions end, these same people will be killing each other." You get the idea.

"Generosity. That was my first mistake."
"Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us."
"Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read."