A: Kramer to Jerry

Q: "Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to fill my freezer with my own blood."

Kramer to Elaine

"Perry Como helps out a fat tub who's getting robbed."

A: Jackie Chiles to George in the last episode

Q: "This chick's playing with confederate money."

A: Elaine to Jerry about whether Teri Hatcher's breasts were real or fake.

Q: "I go out for a quart of milk and come home to find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park."

Estelle to George on why she bruised her back.

"Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy"

A: Jerry doing stand-up to the audience

Q: "You know if you take everything I've ever done in my entire life and condense it down into one day...it looks decent."

You can tell who it is right away

George to Jerry

"Those brave Krakatoans East of Java. who sacrifice so much for so long."

A: Jerry about why he was being audited to Elaine

Q: "5000 - even better! Okay, Chrissie. Give me a schtickle of flouride."

A: Dr. Watley.

Q: "It's Salman you idiot, not Salmon."

A: Jerry to Kramer about whether the guy Kramer saw at the health club was actually Salman Rushdie.

Q: "They're gonna cut him open. His guts'll be all over the place...they'll saw through bone."

A: Kramer to Jerry about the operation on Elaine's boyfriend.

Q: "I'm back in business baby!"

A: George to Jerry & Elaine about the problem in, ahem, George's pants that seems to have been corrected.

Q: "My seat's got a memory, in case somebody moves it. I could be in prison for five years. I come out, my seat goes right back to where I like it."

A: Morty to Jerry
Q: The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury!

A: Jerry to Kramer about Elaine's faking with Jerry

Q: "From a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia, and from what I hear the Serbs are fanatic about their showers."

A: Newman to Kramer and Jerry.

Q: "Am I? Or am I so sane I just blew your mind?!"

A: Kramer to Jerry re: whether Jerry's girlfriend is secretly working as a phone sex talker.

Q: "I was making a, a simple lane change. I, I put on the blinker and it took off on me. And the next thing you know, I was submerged. I'm telling you, I'm very lucky that those crocs didn't get me."

A: Jack Clompus to Jerry in Florida.

Q: "Are you tellin me there isn't one place available in all of Del Boca Vista?!"

A: Frank Costanza to Morty Seinfeld

Q: "Well, I have to say that I'm very surprised...and disappointed...bloodbrother."

A: Kramer to Jerry.

Q: "That Michael Jordan is so phony!...Why'd you tell him?!"

A: Kramer's friend, Mike, to Jerry & Kramer

Q: "That Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts."

A: Jerry to Teri Hatcher.

Q: "My little Jerry!!"

A: Kramer about the rooster called Little Jerry Seinfeld to Jerry

Q: "You useless postule!"

A: Newman to Jerry
Q: If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles

A: Kramer to Jerry & Elaine

Q: "Really? You never slipped one past the goalie in all these years?"

A: Jerry to Kramer
Q: I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick, lustrous hair is important to me

A: George to Jerry about what he looks for in a girl.

Q: "Nice game pretty boy."

A: Newman to Keith Hernandez
Q: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were two women living together

A: George to Jerry.

Q: "I may know less about women, than anyone in the world."

A: George to Jerry
Q: If I'm out on the street and it starts to go down, I don't back off until it's finished

A: Kramer to Jerry about why Kramer stockpiles his blood

Q: Because I'm like ice, buddy. If I don't like you, you've got problems."