NO COLLUSION IN FANTASY BASEBALL: LDV, MANAGER OF BUFFYSANFRAN

New Mexico - July 28

Amid rumors and accusations of fraternizing and collusion between managers of certain fantasy baseball teams, LDV went public in a statement this morning before the Associated Press.

"I'm not certain the direct root of these rumors. It sure sounds like sour grapes from the person(s)sitting near last place. Anyone who has ever worked with me knows I am not a team player and am fiercely competetive, almost to the point of being selfish. It is part of my charm."

When asked if there was any truth to the rumor that she and JG shared information regarding today's erroneous double header LDV stated "I was out of town all weekend. I am sure the other managers were aware of this as well, as I make my personal plans everyone's business to the point of pain".

When asked if she has ever fraternized with JG or any other members of the Gangster BBC League, LDV replied with evident rolling of eyes "I have had an occasional cocktail with a few of the other managers. We have talked about non-sports related things, but I am not stupid enough to share strategies with any of them. Remember, I am the one that fell from 1st to 4th place yesterday".

"As for the bogus D/H today, like DoucheBigalow, I had made a notation in my day planner to such. When poring over the stats late Sunday night, it appeared there was indeed no double header that I could find, but in my tired, jet lagged state, I wanted to have insurance so I picked a few players to put on my roster, just in case. Monday did not have many teams playing anyway."

Asked if LDV will retaliate towards plawrence for liable or reporting misinformation, LDV said " plawrence will get his. I am not concerned with the things he brings to the press knowing his reputation. If plawrence can indeed PROVE collusion, I will pull a Piniella and dye my brown hair - blonde".

Reuters News Agency did confirm LDV was out of town with no internet acccess from Saturday morning to late Sunday night.

When asked about racy photographs found at her home last week, rumored to be used in some kind of side wager for the fantasy season, LDV could not be reached for comment.