I have a good job, a wonderful son, a beautiful girlfriend, and a reasonable ex-wife. I live in a gorgeous apartment with a skyline view of Manhattan, drive a new car, wear nice clothes, and have many friends.

I eat in fine restaurants, have plenty of toys, and enjoy my hobbies. And unlike the 76ers, my Nets are going to the NBA Finals.

And best of all (OK, maybe not best), I'm in first place in the Gangster Bulletin Board Fantasy Baseball League.

No life? Ha! What more could a man ask for?