BLACK CAR DRIVERS TRADE WHOLE PITCHING STAFF
G.M. Lawrence Pulls Trigger On Deal

Secaucus, NJ, April 3

In a late Night move this morning, BLACK CAR DRIVERS General Manager Paul Lawrence traded his entire pitching staff from the Florida Marlins for the staff of the Chicago Cubs.

Completing the deal just moments before the 3:00 AM trading deadline, Lawrence, who had gotten up to pee and decided to check the previous nights box scores before going back to bed, is having a rough spring in his first season as GM of a fantasy league team.

"I didn't realize the importance of pitching" Lawrence, a baseball fan for more than 40 years, said sheepishly. "And when I found out I could have the Cubs staff for the same price I was paying for the Marlins, the deal became a no brainer"

The DRIVERS, who are in danger of sinking into the cellar in the GANGSTER BBC League, are widely regarded as having one of the best offenses in the league.