I thought it was a nice touch of minimalism there, plaw!

If you want some sort of Shakespearean tragedy, here you go:

O Wallace, Wallace! wherefore art thou Wallace?
Deny thy Nene and refuse thy Hughes;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my team,
And I'll no longer be a Bigelow!

Maybe I could get Pat to recite some Tupac lyrics!