I think they all deserve to die but within the mob culture, yes, Ralphie was a pig.

This presents problems for Tony. A captain goes missing, Tony has to snoop around. I think that's what the hassle with Carmine or Johnny Sac is about. Tony's going to pretend to think that Johnny did it unsanctioned. That's the only way to save face with the other captains. He won't pin it on Paulie because they he'd lose 2 captains back to back.

However, the other guys may think Paulie did it and that could turn them against him. Jerk or not, you can't go after another captain without permission and that could be the source of a Paulie split, nobody trusts him.