I dunno, IceMan...I think maybe you're just feeling what a lot of dudes feel when a war breaks out. You know, it seems exciting, romantic, patriotic, etc. But then, after they donn the fatigues and get out there in the midst of a firefight, they start to see there's really no "glory" to war...just a lot of spilled blood, injustices, incompetence, loss of good friends, and just generally loss of life. I know it ain't the same thing, but I believe the "before & after" sentiments would hold true.