Good question about Tommy's mom. She was so adoring, it's possible that she knew he was going to be made, but didn't really associate anything bad with being made--or blocked it out. I don't think Tommy made much effort to hide stuff from his mom because he didn't have to.
When Henry advances on Bruce and his pals to pistol-whip Bruce, you hear Bruce in a moment of false bravado (before Henry showed his gun): "Whadda want? Ya want something, f**k?"