*The next morning everyone who is going to be in Michael's romantic comedy masterpiece "Banana Daiquiri" have gathered in the living room. Michael sits behind a big desk, someone has taped the word "Director" to the back of his chair. He's also wearing the GFIII sunglasses.*

MICHAEL. Normally I making art out of death... today I'm just making art. I feel strangely empty.

NERI. More pills?

MICHAEL. *grabs them and swallows a few, accidentally drops one on desk* Alright people, today we begin the filming of my romantic comedy. There's a pile of scripts on the coffee table.

HAGEN. Who wrote the script?

MICHAEL. I did, of course.

VINCENT. Uncle Mike, you got all the money in the world. What you doin' writtin' the script yourself? Besides, what do you know about love?

MICHAEL. Do you have any idea what getting a decent writer costs these days? And since we're stuck in this house I haven't been able to get a hold of my good kidnappers. Besides... *stares longingly at Apollonia*

APOLLONIA. Bella bella bella. [TRANSLATION: And you left me for the crazy blond.]

MICHAEL. Now, we are going to take it from act one, scene one.

VINCENT. Hey Uncle Mike, don't we actors get to negotiate our contracts first?

MICHAEL. WHAT?!

VINCENT. Ya know, I charge 23 million per movie. We gotta negotiate, it's the way of the industry.

MICHAEL. *points gun at Vincent* Negotiate this!

JOHNNY. Woah! Woah! Let's forget this and skip ahead to the last scene in act three where I sing the big love song.

MAMA A. Don't hurt poor Vincent, he's young and stupid.

MICHAEL. If you use that phrase one more time I'm gonna....

*Roth enters with Moe Greene and the others*

ROTH. First day of rehearsal, eh Corleone?

MICHAEL. What do you want? Don't you have a great Mafia epic to be filming?

ROTH. Oh, I do, but I heard all the yelling and I was worried... we've already gone over the recommended body count on this show.

VINCENT. Mr. Roth, I got a problem.

ROTH. What is it?

VINCENT. Uncle Mike won't pay me 23 million dollars to be in his movie.

ROTH. Did you even get to negotiate?

VINCENT. Nope. How ya doin' Mr. Roth?

EVERYONE. NOT THAT AGAIN!

ROTH. Well Vincent, I'll give you 30 million dollars to star in my great Mafia epic... all you have to do is play your Uncle Mike when he's old and feeling guilty.

MICHAEL. (to Neri) What's guilt?

NERI. Dunno, boss.

VINCENT. I'll do it!

MICHAEL. You can't take my actors!

ROTH. Oh, and I'll need Tom too

MICHAEL. But he's the star of Banana Daiquiri! Besides, Tom's my brother and he'll be in MY movie! Right, Tom?

HAGEN. How much you willing to pay me, Roth?

ROTH. 30 mil, same as Vincent.

HAGEN. Sorry Mike.

*Roth, Hagen, Vincent, and others exit*

MICHAEL. DAMN! *pounds fist on desk*

MAMA C. I'll make you some pasta... *exits*

FREDO. What are we gonna do now?

MICHAEL. *schemes for a moment* Roth thinks he can beat me! He thinks he can make a better movie! Well, I'll show him! We're through with this romantic comedy stuff! We are going to make a movie to end all movies... and I'm going to star in it!

FREDO. So, what's it gonna be about Mikey?

*everyone left in the room stares at Michael*

MICHAEL. Well... um... *he looks down at the desk and notices that when he pounded on it earlier one of the pills got crushed into a fine white powder* Fredo, do we still have that chainsaw… *suddenly in Cuban accent* … and that hideous shirt you bought in Cuba?

~Okay... I think we're finally getting near the end of this thing. They have to get out of this house while they're all still in once piece...~