From "Big Store" which just played here:

Mr. Grover: "What experience have you had at a department store?"
Groucho [Wolf J. Flywheel]: "I was a shoplifter for three years."

Big Store

From: Animal Crackers:

"Why you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you."

Oh, and one of my favorites (I think a BBer had it once for a signature):

"I wanna dance with you til the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows til you come home." So Groucho!!!


TIS

"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon