The subject title of your thread is incredibly appropriate.

First of all by the way you write, and considering you are new to this Board and have exactly 5 posts under your belt as of the time you began the thread...I'm not at all certain your story is for real.

But assuming it is, your husband has my sympathies...I am not married and will tell you what I think anyway.

Leave him alone, you are adding to his humiliation with your incredibly insensitive behavior.

Don't call them diapers if he doesn't want you to. It's disrespectful.

Don't try to 'help him change' unless and until he asks you to...no matter how much you think you can help. Doesn't matter that you're his wife, doesn't matter that you've been intimate. It is personal. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

It sounds like this is a relatively new situation and he needs time to get used to it and live with it. The last thing he needs is to have you want take over and try to speed things up. What's your hurry? He has to get used to the procedure. He is young and if he's going to have to live with this condition for years, and asuuming there will be no further physical problems...he's got to be able to take care of himself.

I know you probably mean well...but you are trying to coddle him and it sounds like that's not what he wants. Also I have a problem with the final sentence; as a tag-on to the rest of your it indicates that you are attempting to assist him because you feel it is your role as a wife and you HAVE to...and not out of sensitivity and caring.

One more thing...the both of you may need to look into support groups. That is, again...if your story is real.

And if by some horrible chance it isn't , then you should be ashamed of yourself.

Regards,
Apple