Originally posted by Valenti: omg liek hppy bday llc11111!
i hoep u hv a nce bday!!1111! omg liek bday!!1111
Wait a second...it isn't your birthday!
You, sir, are a fraud! A fake! A homosexual! I won't stand for it!
I challenge you to a duel, Kevin. That's right, I know your secret identity.
Well, your name is Jack, and you live in the fucking desert! That's right, sand-person! Remove your human-like mask IMMEDIATELY!
In other news, my birthday is a 365 day-a-year event. Accept that, or Bogey will eat you. Alive. That's right. I wrote that bit in italics, because I'm just into that stuff. Cannibalism. That's just extremely sexy. Cannibalism.
...Right. So. Thanks for the... very late... Birthday wishes! Woo-hoo!
Cannibalism.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
