As far as definitions go, my first kiss was when I was in "8th grade", and we were playing in this back lane at my friend's, and there was this older girl. A slut; she fancied me. Somebody grabbed our heads and forced us together; she didn't take much forcing. I did. It lasted thirty seconds, if that. In fact, it was probably less than ten. A tongue poked in, and wrenched out in awkward embarrassment. I never told her it was my first.

I've made up for it since.

But barely.