Originally posted by AppleOnYa:
[quote]Originally posted by TonyD:
[b] ...you might advise the daughter that you are going to send flowers to their room at the B&B with a note expressing your *personal* well-wishes ... and for her to let you know the name of the B&B and the date of their stay. If she insists that she would like you to contribute to the B&B instead, tell her it sounds like a nice idea but you prefer to send a personal gift, and in fact intend to do so whether they go to the B&B or not.
After confirming the reservation just prior to their arrival, have FTD (etc) deliver flowers to their room with a nice note. (or flowers and a bottle of champaign etc.)
If the B&B trip does not come off, send the flowers and the note to them at home anyway ...
TonyD, I think your plan is a bit complicated and not worth the effort. Besides, SB has already stated that the daughter DID name the B&B in her original note (though I don't recall if she mentioned the actual weekend booked, or if it even IS booked).
This young lady needs to be taught a lesson in social manners. She appears to have not listened to reason when spoken to by other relatives (SB's MIL). Either a small donation or completely ignoring the request is probably the best way to go.
I wonder what they finally decided....
Apple [/b][/quote]Apple,
True, if the parents are not at all close family, then ignoring it may be fine.
I only posted the idea in case SB didn't want to ignore the anniversary.
I thought the solution was pretty even handed ... the parents get a gift; but importantly, the daughter doesn't get the money which would validate her rude behavior.
When the daughter realizes that money was spent, but it was not given to her, I think that sends a definite message.
Sending some flowers is pretty simple stuff. I didn't think it was complicated at all.
To me, a lot of it would depend on how close the parents are.
Tony
