Yes, it is.

A bridal or baby shower means just that...that the bride or mother-to-be is going to be 'showered' with gifts. Even when it's an engagement/wedding/christening etc. where the term 'shower' isn't used, you are a guest, being invited to share in the joy of whatever is being celebrated. So even though a gift isn't asked for, one is expected. It's called etiquette.

So again, if this daughter were throwing even a small party in honor of her parents' anniversary and asked for the B&B donations in place of actual gifts, that would have been better than what she's doing. This way...if most relatives react in the way SB and Mr. Babe have...she is doomed to fall flat on her face.

And, if she and her parents are as tacky as implied, she'll probably end up telling them what she had planned and that very few responded, she couldn't come up with enough money and the 3 of them will percieve it as the relatives being wrong, and not them.

What can you do???

Regarding bridal/baby registries, since it was brought up...I used to think they were quite nervy, how dare you actually pick out your gifts and basically tell people what to bring??? But over the years I've found them to be of ENORMOUS help in knowing what is needed, they eliminate alot of guessing and above all, you know your gift will be wanted and appreciated. Also, no one is obligated to purchase a gift through a registry even if one is used.

Best,
Apple