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JOKE (political)
#152655
03/21/06 12:36 PM
03/21/06 12:36 PM
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,907 Born on the Bayou
Saladbar
OP
Underboss
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OP
Underboss
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,907
Born on the Bayou
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How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: TEN...
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness.
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb,
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished",
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time,
8. One to viciously smear #7.
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along,
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
And after all is said and done, no one will notice that they never actually managed to change the light bulb.
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it"
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152656
03/21/06 01:17 PM
03/21/06 01:17 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 22,902 New York
SC
Consigliere
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Consigliere
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 22,902
New York
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Originally posted by Saladbar: And after all is said and done, no one will notice that they never actually managed to change the light bulb. Just as well..... it would've been shot out by "Deadeye Dick" Cheney anyway.
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152657
03/21/06 04:46 PM
03/21/06 04:46 PM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 17,300 New York
Sicilian Babe
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 17,300
New York
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SB - That was great!! Thanks for brightening my day! The Other SB
President Emeritus of the Neal Pulcawer Fan Club
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152662
03/22/06 10:40 PM
03/22/06 10:40 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,190 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Don Jasani
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,190
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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I thought it was funny but I dislike President Asshead er...uh...I mean Bush Jun. very much. On a related note, here's David Letterman's Top 10 List of reasons why Dick Cheney won't resign: 10. Trying to fix up Condi Rice with his dauther. 9. Turns out when you shoot somebody, if you're not Vice President you gotta do time. 8. Bush leaves at two every day and then it's margaritas and Fritos. 7. Set the solitaire high score on his office computer. 6. Wants to see if he can help Bush get his approval rating under ten. 5. Too hard to give up Vice Presidential Discount at D.C. area Sam Goody stores. 4. Wants to stay on the job until every country hates us. 3. Extra-zappy White House defibrillators. 2. Undisclosed location has foosball and whores. ...1. Why quit when things are going so well? :p
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152666
03/24/06 11:38 PM
03/24/06 11:38 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984 California
The Italian Stallionette
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
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Originally posted by MaryCas: I still have to hearken back to the Presidential campaign of 1972. A bumper sticker read: Why switch Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in '72. I do remember that. Not funny, but a very early memory for me was when I was downtown with my mother. It had to be around 1952/54 (or so???). Anyway, Eisenhower was campaigning and drove thru the city. Everyone had an "I Like Ike" button on. Very vague, but for some reason I remember the commmotion/crowd. ), went out right in the street, pretty close and waved and cheeered. They sold pins that, as you move it it flashed to one picture of Kennedy, and the other of "Swainson", who was running for Governor of Michigan at the time. My mom killed me when she found out I paid a dollar for that pin. Big bucks back then. TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152667
03/25/06 03:32 AM
03/25/06 03:32 AM
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,414 Bar Vitelli, Queens, NY
Signor Vitelli
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,414
Bar Vitelli, Queens, NY
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I can remember a bumper sticker during the 1972 campaign that said - no joke - McGovern Can't Lick Our Dick! with, of course, a picture of Nixon. (Sorta made me wonder which side of the political fence gave those out.) TIS - Didn't know you hailed from Michigan. Signora V. is from Battle Creek with relatives in Lake City and Houghton Lake. Small world - and beautiful country up there. Back to politics. Many years ago, I saw some graffiti on the wall of a toilet stall that could be used for almost any elected official (that's why I'm leaving out the name - you can insert the name of your choice): If You Voted For _____________ You Can't Go Here; Your Ass Is In Washington.Works for me. Signor V.
"For me, there's only my wife..."
"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"
"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"
"It was a grass harp... And we listened."
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"
"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152671
04/01/06 04:45 PM
04/01/06 04:45 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,190 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Don Jasani
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,190
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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From The Late Show With David Letterman this week - Top 10 Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To Cancun: 10. "Feels great to get away after three straight weeks of work." 9. "As President of the United States, I pledge to do whatever's necessary to help the Cancunians!" 8. "Couldn't we have stayed home and gone to Chi-Chi's?" 7. "Cozumel? Isn't that the chick I made Secretary of State?" 6. "When do I get to meet Zorro?" 5. "Holy crap, how'd they move these pyramids from Egypt?" 4. "I'll have a non alcoholic pina colada...just kidding, juice me up, Pepe!" 3. "N.A.F.T.A.? Don't they make auto parts?" 2. "Secret service! He's choking on a nacho." ...1. "Once you get a little buzz going my poll numbers don't look so bad." :p
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152672
04/01/06 06:24 PM
04/01/06 06:24 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,096 California
DonColletti
RIP :(
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RIP :(
Underboss
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,096
California
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Originally posted by Don Jasani: ...1. "Once you get a little buzz going my poll numbers don't look so bad." The only poll numbers that matter are the presidential ones. Because who knows who takes the poll?
His whole life was a million to one shot
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152673
04/05/06 10:23 PM
04/05/06 10:23 PM
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 34 New York
MafiaJ
Wiseguy
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Wiseguy
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 34
New York
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I've seen signs that women hold up that say "The only Bush I trust is my own" the first time I heard that I could not stop laughing.
"To announce that there should be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American people."-Theodore Roosevelt "It's better to live one day as a lion, than a hundred as a sheep."-Benito Mussollini
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Re: JOKE (political)
#152674
04/05/06 10:30 PM
04/05/06 10:30 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984 California
The Italian Stallionette
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
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Ok, my turn!! :p "Indicted former Republican majority leader Tom DeLay announced he is resigning from Congress and he will not run for re-election. People were shocked. A Republican with an exit plan? ... They say this will be the first time Tom DeLay actually takes a vacation he pays for himself." --Jay Leno "We've had so much rain. President Bush declared L.A. a seaport today and handed management over to the city of Dubai." --Jay Leno TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
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