This one was told to me by an Irish bartender:

Q: Why is American beer like having sex in a rowboat?

A: Either way, it's f***ing close to water!



Signor V.

"For me, there's only my wife..."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"It was a grass harp... And we listened."

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."