I love penguins. When I was little, I wanted to grow up to be a penguin.

Damn this man for crushing my dreams. May he burn in the fires of Hades.

"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis