He follows everywhere we go. He smirks at us, the aristocratic bastard. He smiles with the cocky demeanor of someone who has had everything he’s always wanted either by asking of by killing. His brown locks lay beneath a circle of golden thorns, his body draped in the finest silks and burgundies. Burgundies paid with Fat Money. Death Money. He is immortal, sneaky, and omnipresent. He’s been gone for 30 years; leaving his 3 Big Rivals run the show. But he is now back.
He appears and follows you everywhere. In your bedroom, in your backyard, in a lonely forest, a construction building thousands of feet above the ground. He has a breakfast sandwich in one hand and a hammer in the other. He looks like a big-headed pedophile in a party suit. His smile, rather than being a charming smile, is the grin of a subhuman car salesman who sells you a crappy overprized car, takes your hard-earned money, escorts to your car still smiling and, as you are going down the block, he presses a red button in a control remote, blowing you and your automobile up into smithereens of plastic, flesh, blood, oil, bones, metal and fiery ashes.
He is a psychopathic stalker. Refuse his offer, and you will be sadistically murdered by his hordes of boot-licking minions. He accesses your houses, your working place. Refuse him and he smash you with the construction building hammer and smirking evilly, throw you off the building.
Sitting in front of TV late at night with my lovely wife Mary Jane resting along with me, I see him peering across the TV screen. I give advice to my wife and I give you this same advice: until the day Ronnie, Jackie and Carl take him out, you better carry a crucifix, a stun gun and tennis shoes. If you see him, don’t say or do nothing. Just run. And call the police. Sealed your doors and cover every inch of your house/workplace with pages of the Bible. When out, carry a glass-made crucifix that shines on the sun.
And pray. Pray a lot with all your might and strength. Pray for your life and your soul. Pray for his destruction.

Good Luck and God Bless

He IS really creepy, I'll give you that.

He Is the scariest person on Tv ever. After Joan Collins.

The commercial in the construction is the freakiest. The way he is nailing with the drill. The way his face and body shakes as he smiles, peering behind the...

AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The Quaker Guy used to be creepier. Let's Hope he has his revenge

Did anyone notice that the King appeared out of nowhere while Ronald McDonald seems to have vanished?

That must be a real paine in the ass for the other Don´s... Like Don McDonald, from the Bronx; Don Quaker, from Jersey; And state officers as Kentucky´s Fried Chicken guy... Wath was hes name, anyhow?

Ok, Ok... That was the most stupid joke ever!

The KFC guy is Colonel Harland Saders (Hail Skroob! Sorry, lame Spaceballs joke)

Not to forget Don Jack "Jackie Big Head" Inthebox and Don Carlo "The Star" Jr.

DV- The Burger King existed in the 70's but faded away. He has now come back from retirement, after whacking big rival Ronal "Ronnie Loving It" McDonald.

EB

Ah I wasnt aware that the King wasnt just a recent creation.

Am I the only one who is really reminded of Will Ferrel by The King? He seems like he could be Ferrel character creation.

Here is some King memoribilia included in Kid's meals from the 70's:

Burger King sucks.

...but The King in the 70s was never a freaky, creepy, scary, creepy, fiberglass, creepy, boderline-pedophilic, creepy, rapist, creepy, ...sonofabitch creeping creepy creep!

Ronald's just a pedo.

The KFC guy is Colonel Harland Saders (Hail Skroob! Sorry, lame Spaceballs joke)

Not to forget Don Jack "Jackie Big Head" Inthebox and Don Carlo "The Star" Jr.

DV- The Burger King existed in the 70's but faded away. He has now come back from retirement, after whacking big rival Ronal "Ronnie Loving It" McDonald.

EB [/b][/quote]Pal, I feel like a bully... Go there, eat their food and know nothing about them!

I woke up in a cold sweat last night with a semi-transparent hologram-of-sorts of The King shimmering in the moonlight between the shadows above me. It was surreal.

In Chicago, it's Ronnie "Woo-Woo" McDonalds.

Woo, McNuggets!
Woo, McMuffin!
Woo, McChicken
Woo, Big Mac!
Woo, Super-Size!
Woo, Fries!
Woo, Golden Arches!

Also, any mention of Taco Bell should be accompanied by the phrase Mexican Phone Company.

tony b.

Got the King mask in the mail yesterday.