MONEY....
It can buy a House But not a Home
It can buy a Bed But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock But not Time
It can buy a Book But not Knowledge
It can buy a Position But not Respect
It can buy Medicine But not Health
It can buy Blood But not Life
It can buy Sex But not Love

Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

I ACCEPT CASH, MONEY ORDERS, PERSONAL CHECKS, CASHIERS CHECKS, BAGS OF GOLD, BARS OF PLATINUM, ETC. PLEASE: NO CHILDREN AS PAYMENTS. THEY WILL BE RETURNED :p