DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.................................................49
Adventurous......................................Slept with everyone
Athletic..............................................No tits
Average looking.................................Ugly
Beautiful............................................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............................On medication
Feminist.............................................Fat
Free spirit..........................................Junkie
Friendship first..................................Former =+$@
Fun...................................................Annoying
New Age......................................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned...................................No BJs
Open-minded....................................Desperate
Outgoing..........................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................................Sloppy drunk
Professional......................................&$!^^
Voluptuous.......................................Very Fat
Large frame......................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate..............................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want..
I am sorry = you'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry = I am hungry!
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
