I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

…She looked surprised.

Riddle of the day...


Q: What’s brown and very sticky?

A: ...a stick!

What does Superman have in common with a member of the Bloods Gang without his gun?

…Neither one of them wants to see a Kryptonite.

What's a German gangster's least favorite food?


…..Snitchel

A Sunday chuckle...

Wife: 'I can't believe you went to a prostitute to have sex!'

Husband: 'What did you expect me to do? We haven't done anything for months'

Wife: 'Well, you could have told me you were willing to pay!'

An upper class couple are arguing about cutting back on expenses.
The husband says "if you knew how to cook and clean,we wouldn't need the maid".
The wife replies "if you knew how to screw,we wouldn't need the landscaper".

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

....Because then it would be a foot!