Why don't Cosa Nostra members like Elephants, Hippos or Giraffes?


...Their bodies just won't fit in a trunk.

Don't know about the Hippos. After all, they stuffed William "Action" Jackson in a trunk. LOL

You definitely have a point there. lol

How can you easily identify which swimmer is a sex offender?

...It’s always the breast stroker!

Where can you buy chicken broth in bulk?

….The stock market.

What did the retarded transgender researcher left on its keyboard?

Drool! Lol lol

Heres another "joke" for that same retarded researcher.....

Where's the new site????!?!?!?!?! Lol lol lol

What do you say to an angry Orangutan?

Nothing. You just laugh at it. LOL

Hmmmmmm....damn Im sad....I wonder where the new site is???

LOL. I don't blame you. You should be!

For extra cash consider robbing sex offenders. Their addresses are easy to find, and they can't own guns.

The only downside is celebrities usually have very good security.

Happy Sunday, folks! Here's another of my (admittedly, lol) sometimes corny little jokes of the day to try and make everybody smile.
-

What did one hat say to the other?

....You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
--





Hey, what can I say? Except that I'm tryin! Lol

I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend.

What sort of key is all you need to unlock the hangups, insecurities and nuttiness of a frustrated Orangutan?

…A monk-key! lol.

Lisa you're obvisouly akin' for my bacon lol shame on you lol

Things are reportedly getting so bad within the ranks of the Mafia that nowadays Cosa Nostra is tolerating their Family bosses dating both men and women.

…I guess they figure to just let bi-Dons be bi-Dons.

Whatever you guys do, make sure you don’t spell part backwards….It’s a trap! ?

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they're flashing behind you as you drive.

One afternoon, a hillbilly and his wife were sitting on their front porch drinking some whiskey, when the husband suddenly blurts out, "I love you."

The surprised wife replies, "Is that you talking, or is it the whiskey?"

Her hillbilly hubby says, "Thats me, talking to the whiskey."

Confucius say...

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"

A Friday night chuckle...

One evening a couple was snuggling in bed when the wife whispered softly into her husband's ear, “Speaking of fantasies darling, how about the one of you ironing?”

Guy walks in the front door drunk, holding a duck under his arm.
His wife walks into the room,and he says "this is the pig I've been screwing"
The wife says "you drunken a**hole,that's not a pig.that's a duck"
The guy replies," I'm talking to the duck"

A chuckle for this Super Bowl Sunday!
--

A man walks into a bar and sees a very attractive woman sitting by herself. So he goes over and asks her, “May I buy you a cocktail?”

“No thank you,” she replies, “alcohol is bad for my legs.”

The man says, “Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”

The woman answers, “No, they spread.”

Food for thought...

"We the willing, following the unknowing, are doing the impossible. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, that we are now able to do anything, with nothing." ~ (gotta love it) Lol

Did you read about the poor guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

…Yeah, the funeral home reported they couldn't even close his casket.

What did Pinocchio’s lover say to him?


...“Lie to me, darling. Please lie to me!”

What does the receptionist at the front desk of the sperm bank say to clients as they leave?


...“Thanks for coming. Please come again."

Why do so many women consider having a one-night stand with a man like a snowstorm?


...Because they never know how long it’ll last.

I have a friend who now identifies himself as invisible.

Although he was born visible, he’s now trans-parent. His pronouns are who/where.

Did you hear about the Irish Boomerang ?
It doesn't return,but sings sad songs about why it wants to.

I have an Irish friend who bounces off walls when he gets drunk.
His name is Rick O'Shea.