I hear that Paramount Pictures has started production on a very unique movie, a silent film, set in the Middle East.

It's titled "A Kuwait Place"

Why don't you find any Walmarts in the Middle East?

Because there are targets on every single corner.

Word has just come in from England that James Bond, Agent 007, has recently retired and turned down a knighthood from the Queen to live in Afghanistan, where he has reportedly now become one of the most important men in the Middle East.

As it turns out, it appears that Bond wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred!

Did you know that Buckwheat from the Little Rascals converted and became a Black Muslim?

He changed his name to Kareem-a-Wheat.

LOL, you're a sick guy Lou, ya know that?

At last, recognition !!!

Just for kicks,here are a couple Dad jokes:

Q: Where do mummies like to swim ?
A: The dead sea.

Q: What brand of underwear do mummies buy?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.

Question: What would you call a priest that became a lawyer?

Answer: Why, you'd call him a father-in-law, of course! lol

A friend of mine opened up a Veterinary practice and also a Taxidermy service next door.
That way,no matter what,you get your dog back.

Q: What did the German policeman say to his bellybutton?


A: You’re vunder a vest.

THE COCA-COLA SALESMAN...
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John, one of Coca-Cola's top producing sales reps, returned from his new Middle East assignment feeling extremely disappointed and dejected.

A friend asked him, "So John, were you successful with the Arabs?"

John remarked, "No, not at all. In fact, I was a complete flop."

He then explained, "Well, when I was first assigned Coca-Cola's Middle East sales territory I was very confident that I'd make a great sales pitch and then be able to really expand our soda brand over there. After all, we've got a great product and Cola drinks are virtually unknown there.

But, I had a problem from the very start, because I don't speak Arabic. So, I devised an ingenious plan to convey the message through three artistic posters I designed...

The first poster showed a man crawling through the hot desert sand...totally exhausted, panting and dying of thirst.

The second poster depicts the same man drinking a bottle of our ice cold Coca-Cola....and in the third poster, it shows the man now totally refreshed, smiling and happy as a clam.

John continued, "I then had them printed up, and we distributed thousands of these colorful posters, pasting them up all over the place"

"So then, what's the problem? That sounds like a perfect plan. It should have worked great, no?" replied his friend.

John just looked down and remarked, "Well, as it turns out, not only didn't I speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that in Arabic, you read from the right to the left..."
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ButtonGuys hopes everyone has a great week!

THE MIDDLE EAST...
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Question: During the Crusades in the Middle East, what was the best way to describe someone?

Answer: By confiscating all of their books, parchment, and pencils and burning them in a bonfire.

Haven't heard that one. Love it !!
You are the "PUN"-isher.

Lol

THE MIDDLE EAST...
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The Middle East reminds me of that old joke about, "the optimist and the pessimist."

The pessimist says, "Everything's terrible, it can't get any worse...But the optimist says, "Oh, yes it can!"

An optimist sees the glass as half full,a pessimist sees the glass as half empty,and the realist knows that if he sticks around he'll be washing the glass.

A joke for today thats a bit risqué...After all, TGIF...
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Question: Whats the key difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

Answer: A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What's the difference between the IRS and a hooker?
A hooker will quit screwing you when you're dead.

I heard that one...but its a good one! Lol

How in the world is the Middle East not leading the world in wind energy...

...After all, they have almost one turban per person.

Archeologists have discovered that during the Middle Ages there were large storage rooms of lettuce placed all over the middle east?

Yeah, they now believe thats where they kept the Saladin.

I heard Dire Straits is looking for an agent in the Middle East..

They should check out Qatar George...He's said to know all the Kurds.

What can a person step into, that a doggy also does every single day?

.....Pants!

WHERE VAMPIRES SHOP...
--

Where do vampire college students like to go clothes shopping?


....Why, at Forever 21, of course!

What does a dog do on three legs?
Shake hands.

Some Saturday Shenanigans...
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Question: What do you call inexpensive housing in the Middle East?


Answer: Low rents of Arabia.

"Someone's" face is so oily which makes me think that one day the U.S. may invade it!

Silly Sunday Shenanigans...
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Question: Does anyone know the speed limit for sex?


Answer: The top speed limit is actually 68. But, if you wanna go for 69, then you have to turn around.

THE MIDDLE EAST
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While working overseas in the Middle East, a friend of mine ended up becoming very distraught, so he decided to call a suicide hotline there for help.

When they answered, the guy on the other end said, "Recruiters! How can I help you?"

A Jewish High School student was having trouble with his Math grades.
His parents were told that if he didn't improve them,he would never get into a good college.
They tried private tutors,but nothing seemed to work.
One of their friends suggested that they enroll him in a small Catholic school for his Senior year,given their reputation for quality education,and one-on-one help.
Sure enough,on his next report card,he got straight A's in all his Math classes.
His parents asked,was it the better quality teachers,or the lesson plans,or the individualized help they gave him that turned him around?
The boy replied,"actually,when I walked in on my first day,and saw some guy nailed to a plus sign,I knew they were going to take this shit seriously".