One more...for the Gipper!
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Q: Why don't Teddy Bears ever bother ordering dessert?



A: Because they're always stuffed!

A few silly riddles for a Thursday morning....
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Q: What happens when a frog's car breaks down?

A: Why it gets toad away of course.
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Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

A: Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup.
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Enjoy the day gents!

Freaky Friday's...
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Q: Did you hear about the infamous fruit fucker who's on the loose?

A: The police claim they're only looking for one single person. Because they don't cum in pears.
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Hope you enjoy your day gentleman.

RE: NY Mafia......U def know how 2 keep our attention....I want 2 know ur EXACT pinpoints on the flick "MEANSTREETS" ..by Martin Scorcese..

Hoodlum, Who am I, Siskel & Ebert? LOL....But since you insist, here goes nothing!

For me? In my humble opinion, Mean Streets is one of the best mob pictures ever made. Many critics say that it's really not a mob movie at all. But IMO those people would be dead wrong.

Although Martin Scorcese was just a young kid himself back then, and a struggling filmmaker at that, and Mean Streets was a low-budget film, Scorcese completely nailed it! He showed the REAL daily life and antics of knockaround guys from the neighborhood aspiring to become goodfellas. And the performances by ALL those young guys, DeNiro, Keitel, Provall, Carradine, etc., etc., was outstanding and believable.

I'm not even sure the movie ever won any type of awards (they may have, or maybe not). But for sure, it has become a "cult" movie of sorts. And has grown in popularity over the years.
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Now I gotta ask you the same question...What do you think about the movie?

And Now, A Little Sunday Shenanigans...
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Q: What do you call a barber who refuses to close on Sundays?

A: A Hair-etic!

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Here's one more for the Gipper...
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What do you call somebody who only experiences extreme anxiety on Saturdays and Sundays?

A Weekend worrier!
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Hope everybody enjoys their day off!

Monday Madness...
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My girlfriend recently left me because of my pasta fetish. But because I'm Italian and grew up on the stuff, I really just couldn't help myself, ya know?

I do miss her. But still, right now? I gotta admit that I'm feeling cannelloni...
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Have a great Monday folks!

Tuesday Tickles...
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THE NEWLYWEDS...

An excited newlywed wife said to her husband as he returned home from work one day, "I have great news for you sweetheart. Pretty soon, there's gonna be three of us living here, instead of two."

With a big smile on his face, her husband quickly ran to embrace and kiss her. He was glowing with happiness and a twinkle in his eye when she said, "I'm so glad you feel this way darling, because tomorrow morning my mother will be moving in with us permanently."

Whacky Wednesdays...
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Two neighbors were talking teach other. One says, "Do you know that my dog's so smart, that he waits for the newspaper to be dropped at my doorway each morning and then brings it right to me?"

The other neighbor remarks, "Definitely. I know that very well. Because afterwards, he's comes and tells me about it.'
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Q: Why can't you ever trust an atom?

A: Because they make up literally everything.
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Have a good one folks!

A Few Thursday Giggles...
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Did you hear about the guy who had a family dog named Cigarette?

Unfortunately, the dog was born without any legs. But his owner loved him so, that every night after dinner, the guy would take him out front for a drag.




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...One more joke for the Gipper, ok fellas?
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Fatso Fogarty had gotten so fat over the years that he was now tilting the scales at over 400 pounds, and his health was starting to really suffer. Many members of his immediate family were obese as well and he feared that maybe it runs in his bloodline. So he decided to get an expert opinion about his condition. He went to see Dr. Ubatz.

When Fatso was finally called into the doctors examination room he immediately asked the physician if obesity ran in his family.

Dr. Ubatz only had to take one look at him and then replied, "Mr Fogarty, the problem isn't that obesity runs in your family." "The problem is that nobody runs in your family!"
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Hope everybody enjoys their day!

Freaky Fridays...TGIF
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Q: Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg?

A: Yeah, they say he's all right now...
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Some Saturday Shenanigans...
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Q: Why was the Mafia boss very surprised when a Spanish hitman he hired completely missed his intended murder target?

A: Because he never expected such Spanish Imprecision!
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Q: Why do Mafia soldiers have a reputation among women for being so good in bed?

A: Because they've always got a stiff one in the trunk.

Sunday Side Splitters...
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A man was getting extremely frustrated trying to find a parking space in Midtown Manhattan during the height of the business day rush. After almost an hour of this nonsense, he was really starting lose it...He finally looks up and prays, "Please God, I can't take this anymore. If you'll just open up a space for me, I swear I'll give up booze and broads and go to Sunday Mass each and every week, without fail!"

Suddenly, all the clouds in the sky part and the sun shines down directly on an empty parking spot along the curb in front of him.. Without hesitation the man exclaims, "Never mind Lord, I already found one!"
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Harold, an extremely wealthy, 65-year old widower, showed up at his private Country Club one afternoon in the company of a young, absolutely breathtakingly beautiful 24-year old woman.

As she walked across the room she knocked every guy off his feet with her gorgeous face and hourglass figure. When she spoke, her youthful charm and carefree giggle was irresistibly alluring.

She seemed glued to Harold, tightly hanging onto his arm and seemingly memorized by every word he spoke. She giggled at his jokes and hugged him all night long like there was no tomorrow.

The entire evening all his buddies looked on intently and couldn't believe their eyes. This girl was a dream come true!

They finally cornered him and asked, "Harold, how the hell did you ever land such a trophy girlfriend?"

Harold replied, "Oh, she's not my girlfriend. She's my wife."

Now totally floored by what they just heard, his friends asked, "Your wife? How in the world did you ever persuade such a hot lady to marry you?"

Harold said, "I just lied about my age."

Laughing, his friends then asked, "What did you have to tell her Harold, that you were only 45?"

Harold smirked and said, "No, I told her that I was 90!"

To start your week off right...
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Q: How many mafiosi does it take to throw a witness off the top of a building?

A: None!...They just always seem to wanna jump off themselves.

Courtesy of The Other Guy.... He’s in a “Sicilian state of mind...


Q: Could a Sicilian ever marry a Sardinian?


A: Yes, of Corsican!

Q. What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?
A. Sparky

My cousin likes to get a buzz by drinking brake fluid,but he says he can stop anytime.

Q. What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A. A slut is a girl who will screw anybody,a bitch is a girl who will screw anybody but you.

All I can say is I can still watch it as I have been 4 the last 20 yrs. & still get something out of it each & every time...luv it!.

The jokes are back folks...and so am I. lol
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Q: What travels all around the world, yet, always stays in one corner?

A: A stamp.
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I know. I know. A bit corny. But I just got back, so I'm a bit rusty...Lol. Gotta give me a few days to get back into the swing of things.

Saturday Shenanigans......
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News reporters just announced on television that police have put out an all-points bulletin for an escaped convict from Attica State Prison. Authorities describe him as a midget psychic on the loose.

They describe him as a small medium at large?

THIS was a very cute post. (and so true) Lol

Here's three more little quips to help you start your day with a smile...(and a little bathroom humor thrown in). lol
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Some food for thought:

I'm a bit perplexed. If money doesn't grow on trees? Then why does every bank have so many branches?
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People wonder why I refer to my toilet as "the Jim" instead of "the John."

I do it so I can say, "I go to the Jim first thing every morning, without fail!"
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Q: What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

A: Wipes his ass.
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Q: How do trees get online?

A: They log in.

Sunday Shenanigans...
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Vito decided to finally go see an ophthalmologist because he'd been seeing little clusters of bugs, for quite awhile now, darting back and forth across his eyes playing soccer.

After giving him a preliminary eye exam, Dr. Umberto Ubatz replied, This could be a serious condition Vito. It looks like you'll need to get an MRI scan, and I don't wanna wait. If you like, I could make a special appointment for you, and slip you in this coming Sunday”.

Upon hearing this, Vito was stunned, and quickly retorted, "Are you nuts doc? Sunday starts the finals, and I got a ton of money riding on the game."

A late Tuesday night chuckle...
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I went to the bank earlier today and asked the teller to please check my balance.

I couldn't believe it when she came from behind the tellers window and pushed me!!

two more for the Gipper!...
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Q: What do computers snack on when they get hungry?

A: Microchips
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Q: How come you never heard of oysters donating to charity?

A: Because they're known for being extremely shellfish!

Wacky Wednesdays....
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Napolitani Reasoning!

One lovely summer afternoon an Italian couple took their two kids to the beach in Napoli. They parked their car close to the seaside, unload their swimsuits, towels and buckets and happily walk to the beach. As they sat down on the sand, Armando (the dad), suddenly remembered that he left his sunglasses in the car. "Honey, I'll be right back, I just gotta go grab my glasses, I left them in the car."

He gets to the car, jumps in and shuts the door behind him as he starts looking for is glasses. Armando leaned down to look under the seats and in the various compartments. As he does this he realizes the car is slowly raising in height on one side.

Confused, he rolls down the windows and looks outside to see what's going on. A man, who apparently hadn't noticed the car was occupied, had lifted the vehicle with a car jack and was starting to unscrew the wheels. Armando, realizing the man was obviously trying to steal his tires, yells "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Startled, the thief looked up at him, paused for a moment, then whispers to Armando in a reassuring tone, "Ok paisano! Ok! I takka the wheels, you takka the radio."

A Thursday Chuckle...
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An Irish mobster approached a man on the street and demanded to know, "What are you, a protestant or a catholic?"

When the man said, "I'm actually an atheist," it threw the Irish hoodlum off a bit.

So the mobster thought for a second more and then asked, "Are you a protestant atheist or catholic atheist?"

For Some Saturday Smiles...
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Q: Where do you take someone who was in a peek-a-boo accident?

A: To the ICU!
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The other day my ex-wife told me she still misses me. But that she feels her aim is improving!
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Q: What's the cheapest cut of meat you can buy?

A: Deer balls. They're under a buck!
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Happy Memorial Day weekend folks! Hope everyone enjoys themselves...

Happy Memorial Day weekend! God rest their brave souls.

Btw, what's the difference between a magician and a Mob researcher?

- the magician pulls rabbits out of hats, while the Mob researcher pulls shit out of rats.

Cheers