Young Maria just got married and being the traditional Italian girl that she was, Maria was still a virgin. On their wedding night, the newlywed couple stayed at her mother's home. Maria was very nervous about her first big night with her new husband. But her mother assured her, saying, "don't worry Maria, Vito is a good and gentle man. Now go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs Vito first took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria quickly ran down the stairs back to her mother, "mama, mama, Vito's got such a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry Maria," said her mother. "All good men have hairy chests. Go back upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got into the bedroom Vito took off his pants exposing his muscular hairy legs. Again, down she ran back to mama. "Mama, mama, Vito took off his pants and he's got such hairy legs."
"Don't worry about it Maria," exclaimed his mother, "All good men have hairy legs. Vito is a wonderful guy. A very good man. Now go back upstairs and let him take care of you as a husband should."
So although a bit hesitant, Maria ran upstairs again. When she returned into their bedroom Vito proceeded to remove his socks, and Maria quickly noticed that he was missing three toes on his left foot. When she saw this, Maria ran downstairs once more.
"Mama, mama, Vito's got a foot and a half"
When her mother heard this, she quickly took off her apron, put down her wooden spoon, and responded to her daughter, "You stay down here and keep stirring the pasta, this is a job for your mama!"
