ANTONINO
Old Antonino was a tight ass with his money, and reckoned he was gonna take all his money with him when he died.

Anna, his good wife of many years protested profusely, "Antonino, you cannota taka da money, what about me and the children?

Antonino replied, "Screw you you puttana bitch, it'sa my money and I earned it!"
So appropriately on the day of Antonino's funeral Anna and the kids are crying over papa's coffin, when one of the kids speaks up, "momma you didn't give papa the money did you?"

Mama replied, "Si, I gaava da stiffa deada bastardo his a fuckin a mone, it'sa ina mama's personal check, let's see him casha that!"