All the suckers (or legit citzens as they're known) don't know shit. So they are still in awe of the guy. But nearly everyone in the "life knows" his true status and therefore threads easy around him and acts aloof to the guy as needed. Remember though, for a few years the guy walks in one shoe. To outsiders (and even a few fellow "friends") to them he's still a mafioso and to be revered and respected as such.
But you always have an asshole in the crowd. Thats why a lot of guys get hit in the head down there road for mistakes and insults they made years, or decades, back.
Forgetting the man on the street for a second... how does word get around between families? Say a Bonanno guy runs into a Philly guy and asks about old mate Jimmy. Is he told he’s shelved. Told Jimmy ain’t no friend of ours, told we don’t talk about Jimmy?
Not really interested how it’s passed on with the admin more how the slang on the street would play out among wise guys
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That is EXACTLY what happens. If a certain guy is called for out of town, they'll send a message back that the guy is "shelved" that the term used. He becomes persona non grata, until (and if) sometime in the future the boss reinstates him to the family. He is a leper until then.
When Frank Costello was "shelved" by Vito back in 1957, my father and older cousin bumped into him at a top Manhattan joint. My cousin was hesitant to approach Frank to say hello and pay respects. But my dad told him "how the fuck could we not?" So they both went over to him and shook hands and kissed him on his cheek Italian style as a show of reverence and respect for who he was and represented. They didn't put it in the newspapers the next day because they woulda be pulled on the carpet, but said hello nonetheless out of respect. They were both nothing compared to Frank, especially back then.
