SANTA

Swap the T and the N around. Proceed to swap the N and the second A around. You now have a word.

Santa Clause is depicted as a fat, white bearded, immortal, old (should be dead), red-suited, magic, sky-riding man who comes down your chimney every Christmas Eve. Santa, at his age, should be long since dead...he should be, in truth, decomposing, rotten, fossolised creature. Fossolised is the key word here. Basically, Santa Clause (exchange Clause to Claws) is, in all rights, dead.
He can, also, survive EXTREME cold as he lives on a frozen over ocean in the middle of no-mans land, encompanied only by small elves (exchange elves for faeries), some flying reindeer (possibly Satanic origins...think of Rudolphs nose), and a tired old woman. Would you like this man coming down your chimney? Would you like Satan Claws to land on your roof, encompanied by demonic, satanic, flying reindeer, and proceed to somehow squeeze himself down the chimney into the warmth of your own house, and put presents for good, Jesus-abiding children, and give nothing but a lump of coal to the bad Atheist children.
The lump of coal symbolises cold, hurt, death, repention, never-ending torment. Also known as Old Saint Nick (a scary ghost-ish name), this fat old dead man would be pretty freaking scary. If kids understood this, then they would be begging for their chimney to be closed up.
But then, fear the kids, what if he still wants to get into to make you pay for your sins, so he hovers in Easter Bunny style to your window and taps.

"Hi little kid."

Frozen still.

"Hi little kid, you look like you've been a reeeeaaal good kid this year...am I right?"

Frozen still...but a word manages to escape your lips in the cold of the night:

"Santa?"

Santa grins, his teeth yellow and rotten, and he closes his eyes in jolliness.

"Ho, ho, ho! It's me, kid, Santa Clause!"

You smile.

"Have I been a good kid this year?"

Santa's eyes widen and he raises his hands to the window.

"But of course, Timothy! And I'm going to give you a really, special present! And I could even get my reindeers to come on up here and pay you a special thank-you!"

You smile and get out of bed. Santa whistles, and in an exotic, snake-like whisper, calls out something by the name of "blixeeeennnnn....rudolppphhh....prancer........come to daddy......". A small snakes tongue emerges from the lips of Santa. He turns around slowly.

"Here they are!"

Shadows slowly form by Santa, slowly appearing, and the shadows stop. But the shadows have faces. You try to make out the faces as you open the latch on your window. Then you see the faces on these reindeer-shapes. They the faces of small children...no older than Timothy himself, in fact! They seem to be in a never-ending moan, they are crying, they have no blood on them, but their eyes are not right. Their eyes are like snakes eyes. Slowly the window opens for you and Santa steps in, followed by his reindeer. You can hear a baby crying.

"I suppose you want your present, right Tim?"

You nod in terror. Santa turns slowly to him. He sticks one finger up slowly and writes in the air:

"SANTA CLAUSE". He slowly rearranges the letters, by making Santa into Satan, and Clause into Claws.

"It's my real name. They all know that for good."

He points at his reindeer.

"Especially Rudolph".

You look at Rudolph and instead of a nose he has a heart, pumping and glowing right in the middle of his face.

"Ho. Ho. Hoooo.......oooofs of Satan! Hoofs of Satan! DANCE MY CHILDREN, DANCE!"

The reindeer shadows, encompanied by the faces, dance around you. Around. Around. Around. It is dizzy, and a tear drop falls on you. Satan changes before your eyes into an old, withered man, his eyes nothing but whites, skinny as a stick, and wearing nothing but a red loin-cloth. He sits beside you, his beard...thin strands of hate and menace. His mouth agape, the flesh hanging off him.

"Rudolph knows that, Timothy! He got the same thing for his birthday!"

Slowly Santa/Satan grabs one of Rudolph's eyes and tears it out. It is a piece of coal.

"Rudolph knows that...and now you will. Here's your present."

The coal is presented to Tim, and he suddenly appears in hell, in a vat of freezing, cold water. He screams in agony, the cold so great. He is totally naked. A pitchfork is thrust into his chest, but he only feels pain, no inkling of glorious, peaceful, death. The pitchfork lifts him from it and he is dropped in boiling, boiling hot water, scolding him. He screams at the transition. Others are around him, moaning. The one weilding the pitchfork is a bird...no...a demon bird? Tim can't make it out. It stabs into the eye of a young man beside him, as he is lifted out and put into the cold water. Tim feels the pitchfork puncture into his neck, and he is tipped out and into he freezing cold water again.

Timmy was sent to hell.

ANYWAY:

The point of that is, that Santa is not nesseccarily a happy figure. If the anagram is true, Santa is simply Satan, sending people to hell for sins. Timmy knew that and Rudolph sure as hell knew that...Santa is not someone to mess with.

Would you trust Santa Clause?

Oh and by the way, he's Communist; the red suit, the red sleigh, the red-wrapped presents, and the red-nosed reindeer.

And he drinks Coca-Cola.

-Penguin

Anton, man... few things...

1) Santa isn't "fat", he's "big-boned"
2) Santa lives forever
3) Santa doesn't give just to the Christian children; don't you get presents on Christmas? If not, than I see where your anger comes from
4) Santa flosses
5) Santa isn't Satan. Why would Satan give toys to little girls and boys?
6) Rudolph may be bisexual -- not that there's anything wrong with that...
7) Pepsi is better than Coke anyway
8) Santa can be trusted, it's just that you don't leave milk and cookies for him
9) Ms. Clause is a lesbian I think, but I'm not certain....
10) I'm literally a licensed adolescent therapist, if you need one!

1) Santa isn't "fat", he's "big-boned"

Technically Santa doesn't have bones because he is a cellestial being...and is two thousand years old.

2) Santa lives forever

No...because if we were supposed to live forever, then we'd live forever, but since we don't live forever, we won't live forever, and we shouldn't live forever, so thereforth Santa doesn't live forever.

3) Santa doesn't give just to the Christian children; don't you get presents on Christmas? If not, than I see where your anger comes from

I do get presents on Christmas, but as far as I have determined, there are two Santa Clauses. One is called "mummy and daddy" and the other is called "Satan Claws/Old Saint Nick" *shudder*. I get presents from the former...I have been lucky enough to escaped the wrath of the latter.

4) Santa flosses

Yes and no. When he flosses, he cuts into his gums, and does nothing to save his teeth. It just makes his teeth redder. And he doesn't brush them, because it gives off a shock effect...and is good for kinky sex with Ms Clause.

5) Santa isn't Satan. Why would Satan give toys to little girls and boys?

These presents are to keep kids in order. Satan has to abide by Gods law quite a lot, so he must keep his kids in order. Satan is the archangel of children. The presents are a reason for kids to be good.

6) Rudolph may be bisexual -- not that there's anything wrong with that...

There is no evidence to prove that, and it's beside the point anyway

7) Pepsi is better than Coke anyway

Yes...and God is better than Satan, right? "God drinks Pepsi".

8) Santa can be trusted, it's just that you don't leave milk and cookies for him

The milk and cookies, when left, are to satisfy Satans beast...the beast of 666. The beast is actually the sleigh that Satan/Santa rides. Santa rides the beast, which is lead by the ghostly reindeer. See?

9) Ms. Clause is a lesbian I think, but I'm not certain....

Not a lesbian...but a true sex addict.

10) I'm literally a licensed adolescent therapist, if you need one!

Geoff! I'm astonished! How dare you! Just look at my post just then...is that the post of someone who needs therapy? Heavens above!

-Penguin

It's almost 5am, so I'm gonna have to continue this tomorrow since it'll be a lot of work, considering your first two rebuttals already contradict each other... (As for the last point, I'll give you a discounted rate - I accept PayPal - but I still love you, bro! )

Satan/Santa is still dead, but he is also functioning...he is part of the undead, hence being 2,000 years old...but still dead. Makes sense to me...althought that isn't much of a bearing...

Goodnight Geoff...it's 8:56 PM here, and I will be getting off soon...we sure have different times!!! Why is it that everyone I ever talk to from the States is always awake right then between 12 and 5 am??? Are you monsters?

-Penguin

Geoff my friend, I remember something about a rebuttal!

Night all, I've been on too long.

-Penguin

Anton, go to the light. I liked your island list, how about a list of positive expressions. Try laughing. You like the physical world - try admiring a sunset, sunrise, cloud formation, rain. Ruminating about Santa Claus is too negative. A little positive fantasy once in awhile might brighten your day. Peace.

Too long to read. And I'm one of the people who typically enjoys long posts, especially yours. Do you have cliffnotes?

I don't see much of a point for this, but it is a simple rumination, I guess. Very creative. As far would I trust Santa: of course. The man was a Saint. Literally.

Marycas. Is your avatar supposed to be an uncolored black albino?

Anton. My farts are Carbon Dioxyde sparks from a decaying Satan.

*[fart]*