GangsterBB.NET
Who's Online
9 registered (Snakes, Beanshooter, F_white, afriendofours, BoyBlue, blacksheep, ChiTown, 2 invisible), 119 Guests and 139 Spiders online.
Shout Box

Site Links
>Help Page
>More Smilies
>GBB on Facebook
>Gina's Artroom
>Job Saver

>Godfather Website
>Scarface Website
>Mario Puzo Website
>Gangster TV Listings

>MobPosters.com
>Puzo Amazon Store
>Ebay: Godfather
>Ebay: Scarface

>Live Chatroom
Wanna help out?


More from MobPosters.com



Active Member Birthdays
No birthdays today
Today on TV
July 24, 2:35 pm
Time (ET) Movie Chan
Unable to connect to DB
Newest Members
fanaledrinks, Carosophia, littledonnie, BoyBlue, JoeyO
8502 Registered Users
Top Posters
Irishman12 54602
DE NIRO 42759
J Geoff 30293
The Italian Stallionette 24795
SC 21856
Mignon 18738
Don Cardi 18185
pizzaboy 17928
Sicilian Babe 17192
Turnbull 16621
plawrence 15058
Beth E 14900
Forum Stats
8502 Members
20 Forums
29928 Topics
766573 Posts

Max Online: 663 @ 05/27/12 05:37 PM
Page 28 of 37 < 1 2 ... 26 27 28 29 30 ... 36 37 >
Topic Options
#623799 - 12/09/11 05:45 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Yogi Barrabbas]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Originally Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas
A man sees a good looking lady giving him the eye in the supermarket!
"Do i know you?" he asks her.
"Are'nt you the Father of one of my children?" she asks him.
He quickly thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful.
"Were you the hooker i made love to over the pool table at my stag do whilst your mate spanked my ass with a big stick of celery?" he asks her.
"Er no..." she replies "I'm your son's teacher!"
Yogi, my friend, this shows you have always been a hoot. lol love it since 2007

Top
#623800 - 12/09/11 05:46 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Frosty]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Frosty
Originally Posted By: XDCX
Here's another:

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment.

She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."

The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Send the bill to my brother in law.

lol
God only knows we need this one in the world today !!!!!!!!!!! clap



Ha ha ha ha!! Hilarious!! lol


TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#623802 - 12/09/11 05:54 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: The Italian Stallionette]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Originally Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Big 10 Incher

Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one..

"I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter.

"Wow!" said his friend, "where did you get that monster."

"I got it from my genie." "You have a genie?" he asked. "Yes, he's right here in my pocket." "Could I see him?"

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie.
The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?" "Yes I will," the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into his master's pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks.

About this time, a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere. The friend tells his buddy, "What is going on here, I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"

He answers, "I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 10 inch Bic?"



lol lol


TIS


TIS, I also pulled this one out of the morgue. Good one I have had that prayer for years, but now days it would be a drag along. lol

Top
#623804 - 12/09/11 06:03 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Frosty]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California
LMAO!! That's great!! lol lol



TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#623805 - 12/09/11 06:16 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Yea , I got big balls to 1 in each sock. Ole age sucks !

Top
#623806 - 12/09/11 06:17 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
But if ya can't laugh at yourself don't laugh at others.

Top
#624061 - 12/11/11 08:59 AM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Frosty]
Yogi Barrabbas Offline


Registered: 03/19/05
Posts: 8506

Loc: Newcastle-upon-Tyne UK
A friend gave me a Jehovas witness advent calendar for December!

Every time you open a door somebody tells you to f**k off!!
_________________________
I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees!

Top
#624102 - 12/11/11 03:51 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Yogi Barrabbas]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Originally Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas
A friend gave me a Jehovas witness advent calendar for December!

Every time you open a door somebody tells you to f**k off!!
lol

Top
#626778 - 12/28/11 05:41 AM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Someone had to remind me, so I' reminding you, too.

Don't laugh.....It is all true !

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2.In a hostage situattion, you are likely to be released first.

3.No one expects you to run fricken anywhere.

4.People call at 9Pm (9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7.Things you buy now won't wear out.

8.You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

17. Your sercrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

And the MOST IMPORTANT THING : Never, but Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night !

Top
#626819 - 12/28/11 04:53 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Frosty]
Turnbull Offline



Registered: 10/14/01
Posts: 16621

Loc: AZ
Guy goes into a high-end wine and cigar bar and tells the barkeep to give him a snifter of Louis XIV brandy. He sniffs it, rolls it on his tongue, and yells at the bartender, "This is not Louis XIV brandy--it's Louis XIII brandy! Get me what I asked for!"

While the barkeep's busy looking, a guy at the end of the bar decides to have some fun. He drains his brandy, brings the snifter under the bar, and pisses in the snifter. Then he approaches the "expert":

"Sir, I'm very impressed with your knowledge--you're a real connosseur. I wonder if you can help me identify this brandy?"

The hotshot looks doubtfully at the other guy's snifter, sniffs it, rolls it on his tongue, then spits it out. "This tastes like piss!!" he shouts.

"It is," says the other guy, "but whose is it?"
_________________________
Ntra la porta tua lu sangu č sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.

Top
#627079 - 12/30/11 07:21 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Turnbull]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Originally Posted By: Turnbull
Guy goes into a high-end wine and cigar bar and tells the barkeep to give him a snifter of Louis XIV brandy. He sniffs it, rolls it on his tongue, and yells at the bartender, "This is not Louis XIV brandy--it's Louis XIII brandy! Get me what I asked for!"

While the barkeep's busy looking, a guy at the end of the bar decides to have some fun. He drains his brandy, brings the snifter under the bar, and pisses in the snifter. Then he approaches the "expert":

"Sir, I'm very impressed with your knowledge--you're a real connosseur. I wonder if you can help me identify this brandy?"

The hotshot looks doubtfully at the other guy's snifter, sniffs it, rolls it on his tongue, then spits it out. "This tastes like piss!!" he shouts.

"It is," says the other guy, "but whose is it?"
Good one TB

Top
#628148 - 01/06/12 01:20 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Lilo Offline


Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 5254

Loc: MI
_________________________
"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives."
Winter is Coming

Now this is the Law of the Jungle—as old and as true as the sky; And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk, the Law runneth forward and back; For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

Top
#628494 - 01/09/12 05:44 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Lilo]
dontomasso Offline
Consigliere to the Stars


Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 11356

Loc: With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
What do you call a mixture of orange soda and beer?


A redneck mimosa.
_________________________
"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."


Top
#632873 - 02/03/12 03:23 AM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: dontomasso]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California


Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland Left. They started crying & headed home.
lol


TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#632913 - 02/03/12 03:51 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: The Italian Stallionette]
Signor Vitelli Offline

Underboss
Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 2016

Loc: Bar Vitelli, Brooklyn, NY


Blondes are easy targets, aren't they? whistle

Signor V.
_________________________
"But you can never lose your family."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."



Top
#632942 - 02/03/12 07:47 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Signor Vitelli]
Turnbull Offline



Registered: 10/14/01
Posts: 16621

Loc: AZ
This is a real-life one:

I was waiting in line at a supermarket yesterday, when an older woman ahead of me gave up her place in line to me because her husband was still shopping. The line was long, so in the process of chatting, she told me that she'd been married to him for 61 years.

Then she finally spotted him. "Over here, honey!" she waved to him. I told her I was impressed that, after 61 years of marriage, she still called him "honey."

"After 61 years, I've forgotten his name," she answered. lol
_________________________
Ntra la porta tua lu sangu č sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.

Top
#632956 - 02/03/12 09:37 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Turnbull]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Turnbull
This is a real-life one:

I was waiting in line at a supermarket yesterday, when an older woman ahead of me gave up her place in line to me because her husband was still shopping. The line was long, so in the process of chatting, she told me that she'd been married to him for 61 years.

Then she finally spotted him. "Over here, honey!" she waved to him. I told her I was impressed that, after 61 years of marriage, she still called him "honey."

"After 61 years, I've forgotten his name," she answered. lol



LOL That is so cute!! lol


TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#633196 - 02/05/12 12:00 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Lilo Offline


Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 5254

Loc: MI
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!
_________________________
"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives."
Winter is Coming

Now this is the Law of the Jungle—as old and as true as the sky; And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk, the Law runneth forward and back; For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

Top
#633207 - 02/05/12 01:58 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Lilo]
XDCX Offline
Smelling of elderberries


Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 5273

Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Lilo
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!


lol lol clap
_________________________
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



https://www.facebook.com/bamtro

Top
#633208 - 02/05/12 01:58 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
XDCX Offline
Smelling of elderberries


Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 5273

Loc: California
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
_________________________
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



https://www.facebook.com/bamtro

Top
#633211 - 02/05/12 03:20 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: XDCX]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California
Ha ha ha!! lol Good one



TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#633248 - 02/05/12 09:01 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Good job. Nice to see humor. Needs to be more of it in the world. wink clap

Top
#633546 - 02/07/12 03:30 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Frosty]
Don Marco Offline

Underboss
Registered: 09/05/01
Posts: 1542

Loc: NJ
In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.


It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was sleeping with his wife.
_________________________
"After all, we are not communists"

Christopher Moltisanti: You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?

Tony Soprano: Yeah well, when you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.

Top
#633548 - 02/07/12 03:54 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Don Marco]
The Italian Stallionette Offline


Registered: 04/06/02
Posts: 24795

Loc: California
Ha ha ha! lol Good one DM!



TIS
_________________________
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon


Top
#633629 - 02/07/12 11:21 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: The Italian Stallionette]
XDCX Offline
Smelling of elderberries


Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 5273

Loc: California
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, once to hold the bulb and another to spin the ladder.
_________________________
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



https://www.facebook.com/bamtro

Top
#633898 - 02/09/12 04:38 AM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: XDCX]
Signor Vitelli Offline

Underboss
Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 2016

Loc: Bar Vitelli, Brooklyn, NY
Application for a Gynecologist's Assistant

A man looking for a job went into the Job Center in downtown New York City and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read: "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana."

"Good grief! Is that where the job is?"

"No sir...that's where the end of the line is right now."
_________________________
"But you can never lose your family."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."



Top
#635387 - 02/17/12 11:05 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Signor Vitelli]
XDCX Offline
Smelling of elderberries


Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 5273

Loc: California
_________________________
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



https://www.facebook.com/bamtro

Top
#635478 - 02/18/12 11:07 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
As we are all getting older, I would like to inform my friends on new acronyms so we can all understand each other.
ATD- at the doctor
BFF- best friend fell- bring the wheelchair
BYIT- bring your own teeth
FWITW- forgotwhere I was
LMDO- Laughing my dentures out
ROFLACGU- rolling on the floor, laughing and can't get upTTM talk to me louder
T4M- time 4 meds
PMA pissed myself again
SHTTF- shouldn't have trusted that fart.

Top
#637345 - 02/28/12 10:31 PM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Frosty Offline
BANNED

Underboss
Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 1168
Went down to Bed Bath and Beyond ! Bought one of those thar shake and weights ! 5 lb's ! $31.95 with tax , brought it home watched the video ! Played with it two days ! confused Then thought to myself. WTF confused I can play with myself and so I took it back and got a refund !

cool Who says Frosty ain't got it together !! LMAO !

But on my mothers eyes , this is true !!!!!!!!!!!

Top
#638274 - 03/05/12 03:55 AM Re: Lets Get Some Jokes! [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather]
Sicilian Babe Offline


Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 17192

Loc: New York
A cannibal was walking through the jungle
And came upon a restaurant operated by a
Fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu....

+ Tourist: $8.00

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $12.50

+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
"Why such a high price for the Politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."
_________________________
President Emeritus of the Neal Pulcawer Fan Club

Top
Page 28 of 37 < 1 2 ... 26 27 28 29 30 ... 36 37 >

Moderator:  Don Cardi, J Geoff, SC