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My story, post GFII #574611
05/28/10 10:37 PM
05/28/10 10:37 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2
Blaki Offline OP
Blaki  Offline OP
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2
I've been working on a story based on GF. It's basically a romance about Michael finding someone new after Kay leaves him. Some things may not correspond exactly with what happens in the movies.
Here is the first part. I hope you enjoy it and I appreciate any feedback.

The year was 1963. Michael Corleone was living in New York and working towards his goal of making the Corleone family business legitimate. His wife, Kay, had left him four years ago. She couldn't take the strain of living with him. The last straw was the attempt on his life in their home, which had caused her to miscarry. He kept the children after she left. Following the death of his mother a year later he sent them to live with Kay. He moved to New York shortly after that.
Michael was walking along the streets of New York. He walked slowly, his thoughts consuming him, the noise of the city just a dim background. He had just closed an important deal, but somehow he didn't feel very satisfied. He had fought hard to get all this power, but it seemed now it was all he had. Mama had said 'you can never lose your family,' but he had lost them. He though again about what Kay had told him, that she had killed his unborn son. He had a hard time believing she would do something like that. He was sure she had said it just to hurt him. And even if it was just words the fact remained that he was hurt. He had accepted her leaving, he had even decided that the children would be better off in her care, but he still remembered her words.
He knew that maybe he should have spent more time with his family. The business had consumed him. But it was all necessary. He had to be strong and keep them safe. Where did he go wrong? There was no one now that he looked forward to coming home to.
Serena stood outside the hotel and thought about what to do. She didn't have any more appointments for the evening, but she didn't want to go home yet. She looked around. The city was alive as usual with the hustle and bustle of people going about their business. Something caught her eye. There was a man walking down the sidewalk and he looked out of place, like he was walking in his own world. He had a look of intense concentration and she wondered what thoughts were consuming him. He stopped just in front of her, took out a pack of cigarettes, took one out and put it in his mouth. As he was lighting it he looked up in her direction, but didn't seem to see her. His eyes were hard and his expression seemed somehow sad. He started walking again.
Serena felt a sudden urge to find out what was on his mind. She caught up and started walking next to him.
"Good evening," she said. He didn't seem to notice her. "Nice night for a walk isn't it?" When he didn't react she took a few quick steps, turned around and stood in front of him. He had to stop or else walk right into her. He lifted his gaze and slowly his eyes acknowledged her existence. "Hello," she said and smiled.
"Hello," he said.
"You seem to have a lot on your mind tonight." He stared at her. His face was a mask and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. She turned on all her charm. "Would you like some company? To share your thoughts?" He stood there and looked at her for what seemed like far too long. She felt a little nervous. Finally, he spoke.
"I wouldn't mind your company."
"Great," she said, relieved. "Would you like to go get a drink? I know a great place not two blocks from here."
"Please, lead the way."
She took his arm and they walked on. At the bar they sat down across from each other in a booth. They ordered some drinks. For a while they listened to the live band without speaking. Michael was the first to break the silence. He looked at Serena. His expression was now more relaxed than before. "So, what's your name?"
"Serena," he repeated, "Do you often ask strangers on the street to have drinks with you?"
She laughed lightly. He smiled. His face lit up and he looked ten years younger.
"No, usually I meet my clients through friends and we make an appointment," she said.
"And what do you do during these 'appointments'?"
"Well, Mr. ahh... what should I call you?"
"Well Michael, we go out on the town, I show them a good time. Sometimes they take me to parties. We talk, dance... sometimes I provide other services too."
"I see." Michael took a drink. "Do you think someone like me could afford your services?"
"Oh, that doesn't matter. Tonight I'm having a sale." Serena replied playfully.
"How lucky for me." He smiled again. Serena hoped she'd be able to make him smile often. Then she remembered the reason she had approached him in the first place.
"Would you care to tell me some of your story? You seemed to be pondering some deep subjects earlier."
He looked away and his face darkened. "It was nothing."
Serena wanted to brighten the mood. "If you don't tell me I'll have to guess. Let's see... Did you just kill someone and you were pondering the morality of your actions?" At his look her smile vanished. She had touched a nerve.
"I'd rather not talk about it." His tone was final.
They sat in silence for a minute. Serena was looking for a different subject.
"From your accent I can tell that you must have grown up here in New York."
"Yeah, I was born in this city."
"I've lived here for fifteen years. I really like it. Whatever you're into you can find it here, if you know where to look."
They talked for a while about the city. He relaxed again. Serena wondered if she should invite him back to her place. Maybe he would share in a more intimate atmosphere. Their glasses were almost empty.
"Would you like to come to my place for a little while?" she asked.
He looked at her, analyzing her.
"Sure," he said eventually.
When they got to the apartment Serena took his coat and invited him to have a seat in the living room. The apartment was roomy with a kitchen separated from the living room by a bar. There were two doors one for the bedroom and another that led to the bathroom. It was tastefully decorated, with simple, comfortable furniture. Michael looked around at the bookcases where there were a number of pictures of Serena in different locations around the world. Under the coffee table was a stack of assorted magazines, predominantly National Geographic, as well as a bunch of newspapers.
"What would you like to drink?" Serena asked.
"Jack Daniels would be great."
"Sure." Serena walked to the kitchen and busied herself pouring drinks. He came up to the bar and watched her. For the first time tonight he noticed her figure. She wasn't very thin, but her curvaceous figure was appealing. Her short evening dress accentuated her best features. Her hair was chestnut brown and wavy and hung loose to her shoulders.
"Here you are." she presented him with a glass. She took her own glass and went to sit on the couch. He followed her and sat on the chair next to the couch. Michael was the first to speak.
"So, Serena, you like to travel?"
"Oh, yes, yes I do. Sometimes my clients take me on business trips. While they're doing business during the day I get to go out sightseeing. It's probably the best part of my job."
"Sounds like you have a lot of great clients," he said, then "Why did you talk to me?"
"You looked like you needed some company."
"Are you sure that's all there is to it?"
"Yes, of course. I had nothing to do and didn't feel like going home. I know it may seem unusual. Most of the time when I spend time with men I'm on the clock. Once in a while I like to do it for personal reasons."
"Your work is as an escort."
"I'm not really and escort, at least not in the usual sense. I prefer the term companion. I do more than look pretty and satisfy physical needs. Actually, the physical part I only do with a select few of my clients."
"What do you do then?"
"I provide company. We talk, I entertain them. Sometimes I even take on the role of counsellor." She smiled.
"How did you end up being a companion?" he tried the word out.
"After I finished college I was having a hard time finding work. I did odd jobs, waitressing and so on. A friend of mine had started a job as an escort. She told me how great it was, especially the pay. I thought I'd try it out. I didn't want to get involved with an agency, though, and get tied up in some contract. I had this idea to try to do it freelance. I got a nice dress, got all pretty and hung out in the lobby of an expensive hotel. I chatted up single men and probed for an opportunity. The first few didn't work out. I was getting kind of desperate, so I tried this older gentleman. He was going to some function that evening and didn't have anyone to go with, so he agreed to take me. His name was James. At the party James sent me to get him a drink and I saw him talking to another man. It seemed to be about something pretty serious. The other man seemed pretty tense, even though he was trying to hide it. They shook hands and James turned away, looking satisfied. The other man at that moment looked at him and I saw contempt on his face. The rest of the party went great and James and I really enjoyed ourselves.
"Later, when we were driving back to the hotel James said something about an important deal having been made. I asked him if it was with that man he was talking to. Then I told him that something wasn't right. That the other man didn't seem too happy with this deal. 'Are you sure?' he asked me. 'Something bothered me about him,' I said. He nodded and we didn't talk about it again. He took me up to his room, but didn't ask me to bed with him, which was a relief to me. A couple days later I got a call from James. He had so much fun the last time that he wanted me to go to a dinner with him again. I agreed. On the way there he told me that the deal he was making last time fell through; the other guy cheated him. But because of what I had said he had taken some precautions, so he didn't get hit too badly.
"This is how I got my start. James really valued my company and he thought I could make a living just by providing my company. He referred me to some other people he knew and gradually I built up my client base. I've been doing this for six years now and I don't regret a minute of it."
"That is quite a story."
"I'm very lucky. I get to do something that I enjoy."
"And what would you enjoy doing tonight?"
Serena smiled, "Anything you like."
"Come here." Michael held out his hand. She took it and stood in front of him. He put his hands on her thighs and looked up at her. "What's your fee for 'physical' services?"
"Oh, that's always free for special clients. I like to keep my business legal."
"Am I special?"
"You're not a client."
He stood up and held her face in his hands. She saw desire in his eyes. She found she couldn't move under his gaze. He stroked her face and ran his fingers through her hair.
"Why don't you take me to the bedroom." It was more of a command than a request. He took her hand and she led him to the bedroom.
"Let me slip into something more comfortable," she said and tried to head to the bathroom. He held her back. "That's not necessary."
He embraced her and kissed her. They lay down on the bed and he made love to her. After he was done he lay on top of her for a minute, then rolled over and lay down next to her, looking at the ceiling.
"Thank you Serena," he said and closed his eyes. "I haven't been with a woman in three years."
She turned on her side and lay against him with her head on his arm and her hand on his chest. They lay there in silence for a while, each enjoying the closeness. Serena was wondering about his statement. She had a hard time believing that someone like him would ever have trouble getting a woman. She decided it must have been his choice.
"What happened three years ago?" she asked.
He kept staring at the ceiling. Serena decided to make a guess.
"Is that when your wife left you?" She felt his head turn to look at her. His body tensed slightly.
"That's none of your business," he said curtly.
"Please? Won't you share with me? I'm a good listener."
"No," he pushed her off, got up and started putting on his clothes.
"Are you leaving?" she asked.
"Will I see you again? Let me give you my phone number."
She got up and started looking for paper and a pen. He finished putting on his socks and headed for the door. She ran after him, still naked. "Let me get your coat."
She took the coat out of the closet and helped him put it on.
"Thank you for a wonderful evening," he said flatly and left. She realized she hadn't given him the paper with her phone number. She wondered if she would ever see him again.
Al Neri was waiting for Michael outside Serena's apartment building. When he saw him come out he got out of the car and held the door open. After Michael got in Neri went around and sat next to him. He signaled to the driver to take them home.
"Al, I want you to find out everything there is to know about that girl. But make sure she doesn't know about it."
Neri nodded.

Re: My story, post GFII [Re: Blaki] #575083
06/07/10 01:51 PM
06/07/10 01:51 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,065
Mignon Offline
Mama Mig
Mignon  Offline
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,065
Very very interesting. Are you gonna write more?

Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12

Re: My story, post GFII [Re: Mignon] #575173
06/08/10 09:17 PM
06/08/10 09:17 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2
Blaki Offline OP
Blaki  Offline OP
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2
I'm glad you like it.
I did write more, but it's too long to post here. I've posted the whole story here:

I'd like to hear any thoughts you may have. I might add more passages to make it longer.


Moderated by  Don Cardi, J Geoff, SC 

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