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May 27th, 2012
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My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30246
07/01/05 04:06 AM
07/01/05 04:06 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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plawrence  Offline OP
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The Slippery Slope
Wednesday night at dinner with JG, SC, and Don Cardi, one of the subjects that came up was how lousy Weingardner's The Godfather Returns was, and how any one of us could have written a better sequel.

Don Cardi also mentioned that he had once written about ten pages of a sequel, told from the POV of the Tattaglia Family, which I thought was a rather interesting idea.

Anyway, I decided to put the "any one of us can do better" theory to the test.

What I've written here is the beginning of a sequel. Maybe it'll wind up being a novel (I doubt that very much. I have 2,000 words here; I'll need about 200,000 to fill an entire book. Besides, after Weingardner's bomb, who'd publish it or buy it?), maybe a "longish" short story (more likely), or perhaps (most likely), this will be as far as I go with it.

I've tried to do a few things here besides introduce the characters and give some backround to the story: This is intended as a sequel to both the original novel and the first two films of the trilogy. If completed, it will span at least some of the time period between the end of GF II and the beginning of GF III. I also wanted to tie up some of the loose ends and inconsistencies left over from both the book and films, and also capture the writing style of Mario Puzo, to the extent that such a thing is possible.

So, here 'ya go. Like anyone else, I love praise, but constructive criticism will also be appreciated (I know I may have some problems with the timeline, for example).

-----

Rocco Lampone lay in his hospital bed, his bullet-ridden body close to death.

Out side the door, waiting to question him, were agents of the F.B.I., anxious to learn the details of his participation in the assassination plot against the gangster, Hyman Roth, at Miami’s International Airport that morning, and hoping that Lampone would live long enough to make a statement implicating Michael Corleone, the head of the American Cosa Nostra, about which, at that time, very little was known.

Attached to intravenous feeding tubes with the huge doses of morphine he was receiving made almost unnecessary by his lapses in and out of consciousness, the doctors had held out little hope for Lampone’s survival. But Lampone was the highest ranking member of the Corleone family ever to be taken into custody – of higher rank, even, than the Underboss Frankie Pentangeli, who had cut his wrists in his bathtub one evening that very same week and quietly bled to death while his guards innocently played hearts outside the bathroom door – and the agents waiting outside his hospital room were under strict orders from no less than J. Edgar Hoover himself to attempt to obtain a statement from Lampone in the unlikely event that it should become possible to do so.

And so the F.B.I. agents, duty-bound and following the strict orders given them only hours before, waited hopefully for Rocco Lampone to regain consciousness. If and when he did, when the questioning was over and Lampone, loyal to the very end, had told the emissaries of Hoover nothing, he would learn that he had but one regret: That because of his personal misfortune despite his success in the murder of Hyman Roth, his confinement to his hospital bed had caused him to miss the funeral of Fredo Corleone.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Michael Corleone stood at the window, watching as Albert Neri expertly maneuvered the small motorboat, docking it just outside the boathouse of the Corleone estate on Lake Tahoe, Nevada.

He watched as Neri climbed from the boat onto the dock, taking with him the fishing gear belonging to both himself and Fredo Corleone. Standing on the dock, Neri looked towards the boathouse and saw the familiar figure of Michael Corleone standing impassively at the window, watching to make sure that only he, Neri, had returned.

Slowly, almost sadly, he walked to the boathouse to report on the details of the act of murder he had just committed: That of Michael’s older and only remaining brother.

Michael turned from the window before Neri entered the boathouse.

"It was something that had to be done, Al. "
“I know, Michael. I’ve never questioned your judgment.”
“Are you prepared to speak to Connie?” Michael asked. “She’ll want the details”.
“Just as we talked about” Neri replied. “That Fredo stood up in the boat, lost his balance, and fell in the lake. How I jumped in to try and save him, and how he almost drowned us both by holding on and almost pulling me down with him. Connie knows he didn’t know how to swim.”
“She won’t believe it at first, you know” Michael said. “She’ll see right through that story. But she’ll make herself believe it, she’ll want to believe it. She’ll have no choice. Without me, she has nothing.”
“I know” said Neri. “You have everything figured perfectly, just as you always do.”

Michael seemed to pay no attention to Neri’s last remark, as he thought it gratuitous. This was business, and he considered such compliments to be unnecessary.

“Remember the rest of the plan”. Michael was all seriousness, as he always was now. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed, or even smiled. Sometimes it seemed as though it had been years.

“Go change your clothes. Make sure that what you’re wearing now gets good and wet when you take your shower. Not even Tom knows what really just happened out on the lake, so be prepared for him to be surprised, too, when he gets back from Las Vegas. We’ll wait for Tom, and after you’re dressed the three of us will go and talk to my sister together. I think I’ll let her make all of the arrangements for the funeral.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

It was late afternoon when Tom Hagen returned to his rooms in The Tropicalla Hotel in Las Vegas.

Hagen’s suite was small, and although well appointed, bore no resemblance to some of the better accommodations in the hotel. The Tropicalla was the most luxurious of the four Corleone Family-owned properties in Las Vegas, and the better suites were reserved mostly for the “High Rollers”, those casino customers who thought nothing of betting thousands of dollars at a blackjack table on the turn of a single card or on one roll of the dice at a craps table.

Although in his role as the Corleone Family attorney Hagen was rarely involved in the gambling end of the business, he was still amazed at the mentality of the gambler. How they were willing to go against the odds and percentages that always favored the house, and so willingly lost huge sums of money, almost as if they desired and wished to do so.

Hagen slowly removed his tie, then his jacket. He was more tired than hungry, and decided to order dinner from room service. Today had been a full day: Visiting the counting rooms – rooms in which technically he should not have been permitted to enter – of all four casinos in the morning, and then appearing that afternoon at a hearing before the Licensing Commission to represent a family-sponsored applicant for an important management position at one of the casinos who had brought in especially from Cuba at great expense and who happened to have a criminal record in the United States.

He placed his room service order, and then walked out onto the terrace of his suite. In front of him lay the city of Las Vegas, already one of the fastest growing in the entire country. In addition to the four hotels they already owned, the Corleone Family had an interest in the construction of at least five more, already begun or still in their planning stages.

It was a time of unsurpassed prosperity and success, financial and otherwise, for the family. In a final meeting before leaving for Las Vegas, Hagen had discussed with Michael Corleone, Rocco Lampone, and Al Neri, the elimination of Michael’s last remaining real enemy, the ancient Hyman Roth. Indeed, he had read in the newspaper that very morning how Roth had been killed in Miami’s airport by "an as yet unidentified gunman". He didn’t need to know the details. It was enough to know that Rocco Lampone was behind it. And Hagen himself had been instrumental in convincing Frankie Pentangeli that suicide was the honorable way out, just as it had been in the times of ancient Rome, when, as he had put it, “a plot against the emperor failed.”

Hagen should have been happy. He should have been at peace with himself. He had his wife, he had his children, he had his mistress. The Corleone Family was moving slowly towards total legitimacy in the casino and real estate business in Nevada.

He should have been happy, but he wasn’t. His instincts told him that something was happening – perhaps that very day – that was wrong. He wasn’t sure what it was, or that he even wanted to know yet. But he knew that it was something terrible. He just didn’t know what it was.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Lucy Mancini sat in her living room in a residential section of the growing city, wrestling with the same problem that had been bothering her more than ever for the past three months, ever since she had agreed to marry Dr. Jules Segal.

It was the same problem that she had been unable to resolve since moving to Las Vegas some seven years before, at the behest of the Corleone Family, after the murder of her married lover, Sonny Corleone, the oldest son of Don Vito Corleone.

Her problem was a simple one, the solution, however, not so: How to tell her fiancée about her illegitimate son Vincent, and how to tell her benefactor and protector, Michael Corleone, about the nephew he had never met.

It had been easy at the beginning. Lucy’s family was from Chicago, and she had come east to go to college, where she had met and become best friends with Connie Corleone, Michael's younger sister. She knew she was pregnant before Sonny’s death, but Sonny had wanted her to have the baby. Knowing the dangers in the life he lived, Sonny had secretly made provisions for her in his will, and after his murder she told the Corleones that she needed to go back to Chicago to be with her family.

She stayed with them for more than a year, giving birth to a boy who she named Vincent, and had planned to stay longer, when she received a message from Tom Hagen, offering her the opportunity to relocate to Las Vegas and begin her life anew.

Lucy had always found the weather in Chicago to be disagreeable, and when she received the offer from Hagen she was torn between staying in Chicago and raising the baby who no one in the Corleone family knew about, and moving out west. It was her older sister Theresa who finally provided the solution to her problem. Theresa, married for several years but unable to conceive a child of her own, offered, along with her husband, to raise Vincent as their son until such time that he was old enough to be told and understand the conditions of his birth. Under no circumstances, they assured her, would it ever be kept from Vincent who is mother and father really were.

Finally she decided to leave Vincent in the care of her sister and brother-in-law, and move to Las Vegas. She started there by managing the gift shop in one of the Corleone hotels, and now, seven years later, was responsible for all of the shops in all four hotels. Two or three times a year she visited her family in Chicago and saw Vincent, and her problem was compounded further by the fact that Vincent, now eight years old, was rapidly approaching the age at which he had to be told the truth. From the time he was a toddler, Vincent had been told that it was “Aunt Lucy” who was really his mother, but all he had been told about his father was that he had died shortly before Vincent was born.

Now, with her wedding only three weeks away, Lucy felt that the time had come to make a clean breast of things and expose the secret she had been keeping inside for all of these years. Certainly, Jules must be told that she had a son. And Michael certainly should be told as well.

And Vincent, of course, who even at the young age of eight was already showing the signs of the murderous temper he had inherited from his father, needed to be told that his father was none other than the legendary gangster from the 1940s, Santino Corleone.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #


Willi Cicci was in his hotel room packing. It was amazing, he thought, how meager his possessions were. A life of crime spanning nearly twenty of his forty years, and now everything he owned could be fit into one suitcase.

Cicci had started out as a soldier in the Corleone family in the regime of the Capo , Peter Clemenza. He had quickly risen through the ranks, making a name and reputation for himself during the Five Families War which had begun in 1946 and culminated in total victory for Michael Corleone. By the war’s end, he was a trusted member of the family, and had even been selected to carry out the murder of the trusted, but ultimately traitorous, Sal Tessio.

After that day, his position in the family was assured. He served faithfully under Clemenza, heading his own crew of ferocious killers and reporting directly to Clemenza’s Underboss, Frankie Pentangeli. When Clemenza was found dead in his driveway one morning, in front of the very same house that once belonged to Don Vito Corleone himself and was now his, Cicci suspected foul play. Although the autopsy ruling was a heart attack, and although there were no bullet wounds or blood, Cicci knew that somehow, in some way, Clemenza’s enemies, the Rosato brothers, were behind it. Payoffs had been made, doctors had been bought, and, as Willi was fond of saying, “That was no heart attack.”

With Clemenza’s death, Pentangeli had taken over the New York operations of the Corleone Family, and Cicci had risen to the position of consigliere. The old man Pentangeli liked Willi – he reminded him of an old-timer from the good old days, and despite his outward appearance and demeanor, that of a brutish man possesssed of limited intelligence, Willi Cicci and Frankie Pentangeli had always shared the private joke that between the two of them, Willi was really the one with the brains.

It had always been assumed that it would be Willi Cicci who would take over the New York operations of the Corleone Family upon the death of Pentangeli, and Cicci was patient and happy in the knowledge that his future was assured, until the day of the shootout with the Rosatos outside Richie’s Bar. Taken into custody by New York City detectives, and with his Padrone Frankie Pentangeli murdered, or so he thought, on the orders of Michael Corleone, Cicci saw no way out of a life of imprisonment except by accepting the deal that was now offered to him by the United States Government:

Agree to testify against Michael Corleone at a Senate hearing investigating organized crime in America, and, in exchange, receive immunity from all prosecution along with a new identity and relocation in the government’s newly-formed Witness Protection Program.

Now in Washington, D.C., his testimony completed, Willi Cicci was packing his lone suitcase and preparing, under escort by the two F.B.I agents who had been his constant companions for the past several months, for a final meeting at The United States Justice Department at which he would learn his new name.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

(Continued further down this page)


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30247
07/01/05 05:05 AM
07/01/05 05:05 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 8,357
Staten Island / New Jersey
Just Lou Offline
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Pretty impressive. More interesting than Weingardner's entire book. I'm not sure that's saying much though. orange

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30248
07/01/05 05:46 AM
07/01/05 05:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 22,819
New York
SC Offline
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plaw -

I've told you a few times that you could've been a successful author and this proves it. Your writing style is easy to follow and it seems you have a story to tell.

Keeping in mind that one should write about what he knows best, I suspect you'd go into great detail and length about the gamblers in Vegas if you were to continue.

Personally, I would not go "into" Michael killing Fredo. Some things are better left unsaid, and I wouldn't give any possibility of Michael explaining why he did it.

I'm a little surprised you didn't mention that Rocco Lampone once ate Chinese food with the Family leaders. tongue

You did a good job here, plaw!


.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30249
07/01/05 06:00 AM
07/01/05 06:00 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Just Lou:
Pretty impressive. More interesting than Weingardner's entire book. I'm not sure that's saying much though. ohwell wink .

Better than none, I suppose.

I tried to make it interesting by using each section answer an unanswered question from the book and films, while at the same time raising new questions about the characters that would hold the readers interest.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by SC:
<strong>Keeping in mind that one should write about what he knows best, I suspect you'd go into great detail and length about the gamblers in Vegas if you were to continue.
I thought of exactly that, just as Puzo threw in his extensive knowledge of the inner workings of Hollywood and (yuck) female anatomy. I don't want to go into too much detail here, especially since I haven't really worked out the details myself yet, but I was thinking of introducing a new character, a high roller who breaks the bank at one of the casinos, and using that character to write about the ins and outs of casino operations and gambling.
Quote
Originally posted by SC:
Personally, I would not go "into" Michael killing Fredo. Some things are better left unsaid, and I wouldn't give any possibility of Michael explaining why he did it.
I'm not sure I agree.

I always felt that Connie's line in GF III about "poor Fredo drowning" was a bit ridiculous, but since I intend to remain as true as possible to the storylines of both the book and all three films, I see no harm in a scene where Michael tells her about the "accident".

Also, I plan to possibly use Fredo's funeral (either that or the Lucy-Jules wedding) as the big "party/family gathering" scene, which would be roughly akin to those scenes which opened all three films.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30250
07/01/05 06:22 AM
07/01/05 06:22 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
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************************************


Anthony Corleone sat on the edge of his bed not knowing if he should be happy that he would finally be spending some time with his father, or be dissapointed that he could not spend the day fishing with his uncle Freddie. He had grown rather fond of his uncle. Ever since nonna Corleone had passed away, he and uncle Freddie had become rather close. Uncle Freddie had become like a big brother to Anthony, doing the many things with him that his own father never seemed to have the time to do. Why was it that his father was always away on a business trip? He once asked Michael this question, during one of the rare times that they were able to spend together, and his father's response to him was "I'm doing this for you, and your sister. Someday, when you are older, when this is all yours, and you have a son of your own, you'll understand." Understand what? Anthony had silently thought to himself. He wouldn't dare talk back to his father. Understand that his father never had the time to spend with his children? That his mother could only visit he and his sister in secret? What was there to understand? It was clear to him now that his father was not a "normal" father, like the other kids fathers were. So many times he and his classmates would be sitting at lunch, mostly boys, and they would exchange stories of how they had gone camping with their fathers, or played a game of catch. Anthony always refrained from joining in on the stories that the other boys shared. What stories did he have to share with the other boys? That his father had thrown his mother out? That one night some bad men came and shot up his house? How every night since then Anthony would have nightmares and wake up shaking? How he wouldn't dare go to his father for comfort out of fear that his father would consider him a coward? No, Anthony would quietly sit there listening to all the other boys, envying them, secretly wishing that his own father could be a "normal" father like the others. But now he had his uncle Freddie. At least now he could go to school and tell his friends how he had spent the day fishing on the lake, having fun. Maybe now he would "fit in" with the others. It was all he could think about as he was about to get into the boat with uncle Freddie. That was until aunt Connie called him back to the house. His father had decided that they would be going to Reno together. Uncle Freddie had a look of dissapointment on his face. But he and Anthony both knew that there would be no choice in the matter. They both knew that when Michael decided something, there was no refuting it. So Anthony unwillingly walked back to the house and prepared himself to make the trip to Reno with his father.

*****************************



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30251
07/01/05 06:34 AM
07/01/05 06:34 AM
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The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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Pretty good, there, DC.

I didn't realize that this was gonna be a joint project, though wink tongue .

J/K..... You kind of captured the same Puzo-like flavor that I was going for. The only thing you need to do is answer an unanswered question about Anthony (I guess maybe you did that by going into how he felt about his father and uncle), but, more importantly, raise a new one that will hold the reader's interest and make them want to know what will happen with Anthony next (Something not as obvious as he's gonna go beserk with hostility when he finds out his uncle is dead, and maybe even be wracked with guilt that he wasn't along to try and help save him).


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30252
07/01/05 06:43 AM
07/01/05 06:43 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
Pretty good, there, DC.

I didn't realize that this was gonna be a joint project, though wink tongue .

"The Godfather, the Untold Story"

By P. Lawrence & D. Cardi

with a forward by SC and Turnbull

Dedicated to Don Malta

In memory Of Mark Weingardner's The Godfather Returns!

lol lol


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30253
07/01/05 07:39 AM
07/01/05 07:39 AM
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
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*********************************

Maury Dalowitz made his way across the casino floor. The deal was done. The 2 million dollars borrowed from the United Federation of Truckers pension fund would be in his account by noon the next day. He would finally have majority control over the Moondust hotel. He had come a long way from his days with the Lakeville Road Boys, when he was known only as "Moe."

He planned on expanding the casino, adding more rooms to the hotel and wanted to provide more entertainment for the guests. This would all be done as soon as he took majority control over the Moondust. But there was only one hurdle left to get over. That hurdle was Hyman Roth and his sicilian mesenger boy Johnny Ola. Roth had become extremely selfish and bitter in his old age. Ever since Roth's childhood friend, Moe Green had been murdered, Roth decided that he should have an interest in every deal that went down in Las Vegas. It was true that there was a time that Roth made money for all of his associates and partners, but times were changing. Las Vegas was turning into a different kind of town. Legitimacy, on the surface, would be more profitable. There was no longer any room for the likes of a Moe Green in this town. Too much unneeded attention. This is why when Moe Green was found murdered in the spa of his hotel, the Las Vegas Underworld felt a sense of relief. But Roth, on the other hand, became bitter about the murder of his childhood friend.

Now Roth was having his own legal problems and Dalowitz realized that in order for him to appear somewhat legitamite, he needed to severe all ties to Hyman Roth. Hopefully through the intercession of The Corleone family, the Moondust Hotel would be Dalowitz's hotel, without any interference from Roth.

Dalowitz looked down at his watch. He had another hour before his appointement over at the Tropacala to meet with Michael Corleone's attorney Tom Hagen. Just enough time for a late afternoon lunch.


**********************************



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30254
07/01/05 08:10 AM
07/01/05 08:10 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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plawrence  Offline OP
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The Slippery Slope
Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
Dalowitz looked down at his watch. He had another hour before his appointement over at the Tropacala to meet with Michael Corleone's attorney Tom Hagen. Just enough time for a late afternoon lunch.
Why do I have a feeling that he's not gonna get past the fruit cocktail, and this is gonna be a short chapter? lol


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30255
07/01/05 08:52 AM
07/01/05 08:52 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,467
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline
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With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
Plaw keep writing!!!!


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30256
07/01/05 09:15 AM
07/01/05 09:15 AM
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
Caporegime
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C'mon Plaw, how about some more?


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30257
07/01/05 09:17 AM
07/01/05 09:17 AM
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The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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I'm working on it.

Although maybe I should leave everyone hanging for a coupla days. wink grin


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30258
07/01/05 10:49 AM
07/01/05 10:49 AM
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The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
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The Slippery Slope
Here's another installment for you, DC.

Say hello to our old friend, Don Altobello.

...............

Don Nicholas Altobello, deciding whether to bring with him a dark blue necktie, or one of charcoal gray, had always been a close friend and ally of Vito Corleone.

It was Nicholas Altobello who, in 1937 and barely thirty years old, had seen the wisdom in Vito Corleone’s plan to pacify the New York underworld, and so even at such a young age already one of the top lieutenants and bodyguards of Salvatore Maranzano, had almost cheerfully led him to a Brooklyn restaurant, ostensibly for a meeting to make the peace with Don Vito Corleone, but in reality to be trapped and murdered by the gunmen of a secret Corleone regime, led by Sal Tessio.

For performing this act of treachery against his boss, Nicholas Altobello was rewarded by being named as the head of the family, which he then promptly and vainly proceeded to name The Altobello Family after himself, and he assumed his place as the youngest head of one of the six New York Families, along with the other five Dons, Vito Corleone, Emilio Barzini, Phillip Tattaglia, Victor Stracchi, and Otellio Cuneo.

While sometimes held at arms length by the latter four, who thought of his act as one of treachery to be regarded with suspicion, he was secretly embraced by Vito Corleone, who considered him a man of diplomacy and, most of all, common sense.

The two Dons became the closest of friends over the years, confiding in each other, and helping each other in their business dealings whenever possible. But, in fact, had Don Corleone not asked Don Altobello to stand as Godfather to his youngest child, his daughter Constanza, most observers of the underworld, from both outside and within, would not have even begun to realize the depth of the friendship that the two shared.

When the wily Turk, Virgil Sollozzo, proposed his business of drugs, first to Don Tattaglia and Don Barzini, and later to the heads of the other three families for their approval, it was Don Altobello who secretly approached Vito Corleone with the details of what Sollozzo would be requesting of him.

Nearly Don Corleone’s equal in Sicilian cunning as well as having the politician’s flair for diplomacy along with the rare ability to straddle both sides of a fence while making no enemies and keeping those on both sides happy, it was explained to Vito Corleone that while he, Nicholas Altobello, must publicly side with the other Dons in support of the Sollozzo proposition, he was secretly against it and it would be to the benefit of both of them to have, in effect, a spy in the other camp.

But because of their distrust of the other Dons in general, and Don Altobello in particular, the assassination plot against Vito Corleone was kept secret by both Barzini and Tattaglia, and so when Don Corleone had been shot five times in the winter of 1945 and nearly killed, Don Nicholas Altobello had been as surprised as anyone.

When Don Corleone recovered from his wounds and sued for peace in order that he might bring his son Michael home from his exile in Sicily, Don Altobello was advised to not attend the meeting, lest he be forced to publicly state his support for Vito Corleone, thus earning the further distrust and enmity of the heads of the other four families.

And he had done so, feigning illness and, as a widower, spending several days at the newly built Staten Island home of his recently married daughter, his only child, where he sat in the backyard, drinking wine and taking his leisure while playing with his toddler grandson.

And now, some twelve years later, Nicholas Altobello, the last of the six original New York Dons although still relatively young at age fifty-one, was still the loyal soldier, still loyal to the Corleone Family and its head, Michael Corleone.

Ever the diplomat, ever the man who could find comfort on either side of the fence, Don Altobello was on this day preparing to attend the funeral in Miami of his old friend Hyman Roth.

He knew, of course, that Roth had been an enemy of Michael Corleone. That Roth had tried to assassinate Michael Corleone, first at his home in Lake Tahoe, and later in Cuba. But he also knew that as the diplomat he was regarded as being, he must attend the funeral, as there would be representatives of various families from across the United States, and his failure to attend might be seen as an act of disrespect by those unfamiliar with his relationship with the Corleone Family.

Finally, after deciding on the dark blue necktie, Don Altobello closed his bag and summoned his driver and personal bodyguard, Joey Zasa, who was waiting for him in the next room.

Zasa, only twenty-three years old and with a young man’s penchant for fancy clothes and beautiful woman, was already regarded by Altobello as the most important man in his organization. The Altobello Family was small but powerful in its own way, and despite the presence of a titular Consigliere, Don Altobello had immediately and shrewdly noticed something he liked about Joey Zasa, removed him from the crew with which he worked, and taken him under his personal wing, treating him almost like the son he had never had. He now regarded the young Zasa as his most important advisor, believing that because of his youth and intelligence he was more in step with the changing times, thus making his advice that much more valuable.

“Take the bag, Joey” he said when Zasa entered the room. “It's time to leave for the airport.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

(Continued further down this page)


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30259
07/01/05 11:41 AM
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Pl, it reads well, I like the different characters weaving in and out. It reminds me of the opening of The Godfather, when we are introduced to Nazorine, Bonasera, and so on. I think that you were true to continuity and to the characters. I especially loved the section about Tom. And I appreciate the way you introduced Vincent - quite plausible.

The only part I had a bit of difficulty with was the conversation between Al and Michael. Not that I didn't find the exchange interesting, or even illuminating, but I found the dialogue a bit stilted. Perhaps it's because we can't picture Al saying that much! I did like the part about Connie doubting Fredo's cause of death, but coming to accept it eventually because she will prefer to turn a blind eye to it.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30260
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plawrence Offline OP
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I do a great deal of "business" writing in my work, but as far as prose/fiction goes, I've always had problems with

1- Coming up with a decent plot (every time I see a movie I like, or read a book with a good plot, I say to myself "How come I couldn't come up with that?"), and

2- Writing dialogue, which is even more difficult, I think. That's probably why there's so little of it here so far.

As far as introducing the characters one by one goes, that, obviously, is a deliberate attaempt to emulate Puzo's style in writing a novel as well as the style in which he wrote.

Altho I respect the fact that Weingardner is a professional author with a style his own, I felt that one of the major weaknesses of TGFR was his failure to capture Puzo's style, which I always thought was very readable.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30261
07/01/05 01:33 PM
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Both installments were excellent, Plaw. I find them way more interesting, and readable than Winegardner's effort. Plus, there is way more insight into Don Altobello's early career and alliance with Don Corleone. It also had characters we actually know about, and had insight into what was going on with them. Keep 'em coming! smile


Hey, how's it going?
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30262
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by plawrence:
[QB] 2- Writing dialogue, which is even more difficult, I think. That's probably why there's so little of it here so far.

As far as introducing the characters one by one goes, that, obviously, is a deliberate attaempt to emulate Puzo's style in writing a novel as well as the style in which he wrote.


Plaw this is really good! Keep writing. For dialogue, just say it out loud. Try to "role play" and just speak as though you were the characters....even use a tape recorder...that may help.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30263
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Hey, dontomasso is back!!


Hey, how's it going?
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30264
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Seriously Plaw. All Kidding aside. I think that your writing abilities are just superb. You definaltely captured the essence of Puzo.

I sincerely think that you should take this into serious consideration and really write a book about this. Go for it my friend! What have you got to lose? As we've said many times, Winegardner really had no clue when it came to writing about The Godfather characters. On the other hand you have fantastic insight when it comes to The Godfather and it's characters and that is exactly why I feel that you should follow through and write this book.

Chu can do it mang!


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Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30265
07/01/05 03:32 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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I'll tell you what, Don C.....

I'll write it, and then sell you the rights for, let's say, $5000.

Then you can try and sell it, and any money you make off of it is yours to keep.

Still want me to keep writing? wink tongue


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30266
07/01/05 04:11 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Here's the final installment for now, guys, the beginning of Chapter 2. I'm taking the rest of the weekend off.
...........

CHAPTER 2

The room service dinner that Tom Hagen ordered hadn’t arrived yet when his telephone rang.

“Tom, it’s Michael” said the voice at the other end of the line. “I need you back here as soon as possible – tonight, actually.”
“Why? Is everything O.K.?” Tom asked.
There was an almost imperceptible pause before Michael answered. “There’s been an accident, Tom. Fredo is dead.”
“God, Mikey……What the hell happened?” Tom said softly.
“Fredo went out fishing with Al Neri” Michael began. “Somehow, I don’t know, somehow he fell overboard. Neri tried to save him, but Fredo almost drowned them both”. For the first time since he could remember, Tom heard a tinge of emotion in Michael’s voice. And then, as quickly as ithe emotion was there, it was gone, as Michael’s tone switched to his usual businesslike voice.
“The family plane is waiting for you right now at the airport” Michael said. “There’s a car waiting downstairs to get you there. I expect you back in less than three hours. I haven’t told Connie yet, and I want you there when I do.”
“Sure, Mike, I’ll leave right away. Anything else I can do?” Hagen asked.
“No. Just get back here as soon as you can” Michael said, before abruptly hanging up the phone without waiting to hear if Tom Hagen had anything else to say.

# # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

It had been nearly a year since Connie Corleone had had confronted her brother Michael, and in an act of defiance in which she had failed to follow his wishes had run off and married Merle Johnson.

It was only after their honeymoon, paid for by Connie by pawning her jewelry, after they had set up housekeeping in Merle’s squalid Reno apartment, the irony lost on her that the city in which he lived was known at the time as a common residence for rich women of the east while waiting out the residency requirement for a Nevada divorce, and after she learned that he had absolutely no visible means of support other than the anticipation of her allowance from the Corleone family that Michael had now cut off, that she decided to leave him.

It then that she learned of his four previous marriages, all of them to rich divorcees, and all of which had ended with Merle Johnson receiving generous settlements from each of his ex-wives, and of his many infidelities, two of which had taken place during the brief few months that they had been together, almost as if he were planning who his next victim in the crime of marriage would be.

Michael was right, of course, as he almost always had been, when he said about Merle Johnson in his uniquely icy way, “I don’t know who this man is, and I don’t know what he does for a living. Now tell him you don’t want to see him anymore. I’m sure he’ll understand.” Just as he had been right in ordering the killing of her husband, Carlo Rizzi, who she now knew had set-up her brother Sonny to be murdered.

Her initial reaction to the disappearance of her husband had been worry. And two days later, when his body turned up in the marshlands of New Jersey, anger. Anger at Michael, when she put things together and realized that Carlo’s death was somehow related to the murders of the heads of four of the five New York crime families that very same week. Anger at Michael for taking her husband away from her, who, as badly as he treated her, was still the father of her children.

Even after she realized that she no longer cared about his death, that Carlo was responsible for the murder of her oldest brother, a brother who had always protected her and who she realized she loved even more than her husband, Carlo’s death had sent her into a depression and downward spiral that had lasted until only two months before, with the death of her mother.

It was then that she finally forgave Michael, in the process forgiving herself, and reconciled with her older brother.

She knew that for some reason – she was unsure of exactly what the reason was, but suspected that it had something to do with the embarrassment that Fredo’s ex-wife had caused Michael at Anthony’s communion party – that Michael was terribly angry with Fredo, and she begged Michael to make up with him on the very first day of their mother’s wake. And she promised Michael that she would change, that she wanted to stay close to the family now, and that she would take care of him, not as a wife but in the way in which an older sister might care for a baby brother, even though she was the younger of the two.

And Connie Corleone had found happiness and contentment in her new way of life. Her husband had been a gambler and a chaser of other women, and she found a satisfyingly tranquil chord of domesticity in caring for Michael, and Fredo as well, that she had never been able to strike while married to Carlo Rizzi.

# # # # # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # #

Because of the many trips made by Tom Hagen in his role as family attorney, Al Neri, acting as Security Director of the family hotels, and Michael himself, between the Corleone’s Lake Tahoe estate and Las Vegas, Reno, and the state capital in Carson City, the family owned a small twin-engine airplane that seated four comfortably. Michael had even undertaken the considerable expense of clearing several acres of woodland on the property, and built a private airstrip, complete with a hangar and a small cottage, shared by the pilot, a much decorated Korean War veteran on 24-hour call, and an expert airplane mechanic.

Now, flying over Lake Tahoe at dusk, Hagen could see the entire estate in front of him. As many times as he had seen it, the beauty of the lake and the surrounding mountains never failed to impress him as surely being one of the most beautiful places in the world, especially when he compared it to the grime and grit of New York City.

Coming in for a landing, Hagen could already make out the figure of Michael Corleone, standing alone about twenty yards from the end of the runway. Although there was a road which led from the small airstrip to the compound, which was nearly half of a mile away, Hagen saw no car, which meant that he and Michael would be walking back to the compound, giving them about 10-20 minutes of absolute privacy, depending on their pace, to talk.

Tom had once thought that Michael sometimes chose to walk because he appreciated the natural beauty of the surroundings and enjoyed a rare few minutes when he had the opportunity to communicate with nature, but he soon learned otherwise shortly after the airstrip was completed, when he realized that the only time he and Michael walked from the airstrip were those times when Michael wanted to discuss something in absolute privacy and did not wish to risk the chance of being overheard by his driver.

As the plane taxied to a stop, Michael was there at the door to open it for Tom and greet him with an embrace as soon as Hagen’s feet touched the ground. Then, silently, with Michael’s arm draped across Tom’s shoulder in a rare display of emotion, they began to make their way towards the compound.

They walked quietly for a minute or two. Finally, it was Tom who broke the silence.

“Mikey…..I don’t know what to say…..”
“Don’t say anything, Tom” Michael said. “I want you to just listen.” The emotion that Hagen expected to hear in the voice of a man talking about the death of a brother just hours before was missing, and Hagen, not sure of what he was about to hear next yet somehow knowing that he wasn’t going to like it, braced himself for what Michael was about to tell him.
“Fredo didn’t drown” Michael said in his flat and emotionless way. “He and Neri went out in the boat, and Neri shot him and dumped his body in the lake.”
“But why, Mike?” Hagen’s voice cracked, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. “Fredo was no threat anymore. You even said yourself that you knew that Ola and Roth misled him.”
“Fredo was misled” Michael said “But not the way you think he was. We have about a ten minute walk back to the house. I want you to listen while I tell you the whole story of what really happened the night that Hyman Roth and my brother Fredo tried to have me killed.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30267
07/01/05 05:55 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
I'll tell you what, Don C.....

I'll write it, and then sell you the rights for, let's say, $5000.

Then you can try and sell it, and any money you make off of it is yours to keep.

Still want me to keep writing? wink tongue
Now the price to the book rights is less than $1,000 dollars, am I right?

Now why would I ever consider paying more than that?

Uh, Plaw -- you can have my answer now if you like. My offer is this -- nothing. Not even the fee for the book rights, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.


That last installment was excellent Plaw! Bravo! But don't forget to have Hagen cancel his meeting with Maury Dalowitz before heading back to Tahoe. wink lol

Someone needs to forward this to Mark Winegardner so he can see for himslef how a true GF affecinato properly writes a GF book! tongue


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30268
07/01/05 06:32 PM
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Plaw, I just finished reading this, and I must say, fabulous work! [Linked Image]

I've never read Godfather Returns, but I'm sure you put Winegardner to shame! wink I really enjoyed reading every bit of it, and I hope you'll continue to write.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30269
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The Dr. who fixed Lucy Offline
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Firstly: anyone who attempts to chronicle the events between GFII and GFIII makes a brave and worthy attempt, and in this case it has been done in a bold, informed, intelligent and detailed manner.

Secondly: I'm relatively new here and plawrence is an established member of these boards... also I'm not very popular, and I'm fully aware that my opinions may well be dismissed summarily.

Nevertheless, plawrence has submitted his work for criticism and I will venture it, understanding that I may be hated, flamed or ignored. I hope my observations are taken in the productive way in which they are intended.

1. Too many lines from the films.

Quote

I don’t know who this man is, and I don’t know what he does for a living. Now tell him you don’t want to see him anymore. I’m sure he’ll understand

---

a plot against the emperor failed

---

That was no heart attack

---

This was GFIII's failing... gratutious and obvious insertions of film quotes. Be your own man.

2. Unrealistic dialogue.

Quote

“Fredo didn’t drown” Michael said in his flat and emotionless way. “He and Neri went out in the boat, and Neri shot him and dumped his body in the lake.”
“But why, Mike?” Hagen’s voice cracked, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes.
This is the worst example. Why does Mike tell Tom? And "tears welling up"!? Ah, come on!

3. Inaccuracies

Frequent references to Pantangelli as an underboss, when he was a caporegime. Or, if this is intended to reflect an error in the famous FBI chart, some indication that that chart was wrong and that Frankie was an underboss. [Debatable]

Connie actually thinking that Fredo drowned. Something about the way she said "poor Fredo drowned" in GFIII didn't ring true... she sounded more like a witch from MacBeth than a concerned sibling... she knew that Mike had killed him and was glossing it over for the sake of old Mike and his health. Plus at this stage, Connie was pretty ruthless herself.


Having said all that: the introduction to Altobello and Saza is great. But I just don't find your style as captivating as Puzo's - it's not engaging or stylish, although the underlying ideas are fantastic.

My (limited) attempts at criticism have aimed to be constructive, and I certainly don't represent that I could do anywhere near as well. I think a lot could be built on this... and needless to say, it far surpasses GF Returns. Hope my remarks will be taken in this vein.


Joey ...

BANG BANG

... Saza!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30270
07/01/05 06:46 PM
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Not bad Plaw. But I don't see Michael opening up like that to anyone. I don't see Michael incurring liability like that. Michael is still the master manipulator.


"Generosity. That was my first mistake."
"Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us."
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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30271
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Quote
Originally posted by olivant:
Not bad Plaw. But I don't see Michael opening up like that to anyone. I don't see Michael incurring liability like that. Michael is still the master manipulator.
It is believable to me. If he was worried about liability, then he never would have had Tom, Neri and Rocco all together when planning the attack on Roth.

If Michael were to open up to ANYONE, it WOULD be Tom.

" You're the only one that I can trust."

Remember that line from GFII?


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30272
07/01/05 07:11 PM
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The beauty of Michael is that he never opens up to anyone or tells anyone anything without a reason - he's inherited Vito's pointed calculation, as we all know very well. Without the rest of Plaw's treatment on the Michael/Tom conversation, we do not know if he is just opening up just to open up or if he's telling Tom the "real" story for a reason. I suspect it will be more the latter than the former.

Bravo, plaw. You're doing a great job. You certainly have me hooked. smile

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30273
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plaw, you're wonderful! smile (And good writer, too. wink This is already so much better than that Weingartner abomination.)
My advice would be to not do as many "update biographies" at the very beginning. The focus needs to be on Michael--how he deals with Fredo's death and Kay's departure. I think a strong focus should be on how he develops his relationships with his children--why Anthony rebels and Mary sticks with him. Another aspect: the Gaming Commission puts him in the "Black Book," and he has to deal with out-of-town Dons.
Too bad Weingartner poisoned the well here.


Ntra la porta tua lu sangu è sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30274
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Admitting that he murdered their sibling is completely different from planning an attack on another organized crime figure.

Yes, Michael doesn't do anything without an angle. That's why I said he was the master manipulator. He's telling Tom about Fredo to serve a particular purpose that has nothing to do with salvation.

Plaw, you could be on the right track with his dialogue with Tom, but I would not have him admit to murder.


"Generosity. That was my first mistake."
"Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us."
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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30275
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by The Dr. who fixed Lucy:
plawrence has submitted his work for criticism and I will venture it, understanding that I may be hated, flamed or ignored. I hope my observations are taken in the productive way in which they are intended.
Sorry your book was such a big flop, Mr. Weingardner.

BTW, If I PM you with my address, will you send me my $26.95 back?

There is no reason for you to be flamed or ignored. One of the great things about this forum is that we are able to exchange different ideas and points of view in a civilized and mature manner.

Hated? Maybe, you dirty sunovabitch wink

Quote
1. Too many lines from the films.
Keep in mind that this is a sequel, and, as such, must necessarily be derivative and connect to the original to a great extent.

Also, the quotes from the film are offered as exactly that: Quotes. They all appear in quotation marks, and no pretense is made to offer them as original.

The reality, I think, is that in the highly unlikely event that this is ever published, except for screwballs like us the average Godfather reader/fan has probably only read the book or seen the films maybe once or twice, and probably wouldn't even remember the source of these quotes.

And I think that those who do would appreciate them for what they are, while at the seem time enjoying the fact that they got the "inside jokes"

As far as that being a failing of GF III, I would disagree. The use of quotes and references from the first two films was one of the things that made the film stronger rather than weaker.

But that's strictly a matter of opinion, I guess.

Quote
2. Unrealistic dialogue.
As I said, writing dialogue is not my strong suit. If it were, I might be writing bestsellers for a living.

As far as your "Why does Mike tell Tom?" criticism goes, I think that one might be a bit premature, considering that you don't yet know either the plot or the theme that I'm planning to develop.

"tears welling up".....Yeah, I'll give you that that's a bit trite.
Quote
Connie actually thinking that Fredo drowned.......she knew that Mike had killed him and was glossing it over for the sake of old Mike and his health.
Now that's debatable.

In fact, it has been the subject in the past of some discussion here.

Did Connie know the truth about Fredo's death or not? Was she in denial about the truth? Did she play along with the fiction for the sake of Michael's failing health?

The last of those points may be an original idea on your part, BTW, for which you have my compliments, and if so is a valid point on which to reopen this particular discussion in a thread of its own.

That said, I think that your criticism about Connie's belief or disbelief in the drowning scenario is one that is more properly directed at GF III, especially since you don't yet know how I plan to treat her reaction to Michael telling her about Fredo's "accident".

Quote
3. Inaccuracies

Frequent references to Pantangelli as an underboss, when he was a caporegime. Or, if this is intended to reflect an error in the famous FBI chart, some indication that that chart was wrong and that Frankie was an underboss. [Debatable]
No, that's an error on my part. I'll change that when I get around to it

Quote
Having said all that:.....I just don't find your style as captivating as Puzo's - it's not engaging or stylish, although the underlying ideas are fantastic.
I consider it a huge compliment rather than a criticism to have my writing style compared to that of Mario Puzo.

If I were able to write as well as he did, you'd probably be paying to read my work rather than getting it for free on an internet message board.

As far as the underlying ideas go, we've had any number of suggestions, treatments, plot outlines, and scripts for possible GF sequels or Part IV films over the years. Just browse through the GF IV Forum to get an idea.

Some of them were better ideas than mine, some of them probably worse. I just went into a little more detail than most, and used a book format, rather than one for a film, as most of the others did.

All of that said, keep in mind that this was done as a lark, inspired by a dinner conversation, and written on a day when I had nothing to do.

I make no representations that I am in any way, shape, or form a competent author of fiction, and since I think that the commercial value of this project is nil, I probably won't ever finish it.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30276
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
Now the price to the book rights is less than $1,000 dollars, am I right?

Now why would I ever consider paying more than that?

Uh, Plaw -- you can have my answer now if you like. My offer is this -- nothing. Not even the fee for the book rights, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.
Don Cardi, Don Cardi, Don Cardi.....What did I ever do to make you treat me so disrespectfully?

Funny stuff, DC. I was rolling lol


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30277
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Turnbull:
My advice would be to not do as many "update biographies" at the very beginning.
Well, we have to consider the handful of readers who may have missed the original.

Besides, writing these "updates" and getting to play God by putting to rest some of the unanswered questions with my personal opinions is the fun (and easy) part.

And finally, I'm just putting off the inevitable (and much more difficult):

Having to actually come up with an original plot.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30278
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Great job, but watch those run on sentences. Some are long and windy. lol I wonder why.

Way better then I thought it would be. grin
I enjoyed even this ruff draft. wink

Spend less time on Baseball and do more writing.
Outline your work first.

and most important, don't let your head get big.
You may just be penning a very popular piece of work! grin


ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM.
"...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824

Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"

CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.

You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30279
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A compliment from you, FS, is worth more than a thousand compliments from lawyers with their briefcases.

Run on sentences? I doubt it, but I'll go back and check. But imagine..... you correcting my writing. wink tongue

And me with a big head? Sure. Why do you think I wrote the dam(n) thing in the first place?

The only place that this has a chance to be a "popular piece of work", though, is here.

As I've said already, with 5,000 words down, 195,000 to go, and no commercial possibilities, there's practically no chance that I'll ever finish this thing.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30280
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Plaw, this reminded me of a web site, Fan Fiction , where people submit stories such as yours. I found a section for the Godfather movie, here , but the book section didn't have Godfather. ohwell To be honest, I haven't even looked at any of the pieces on the site, so I'm not sure what level these people are writing at, but perhaps you'd be interested in posting your story there. There are probably better fan fiction sites out there, and I'm not sure how safe this one would be....I'm sure someone could easily claim your work as their own...but I thought you might at least like a look at it.

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Thanks, Gina.

I took a quick look, and there's not much GF stuff there, and most of what is there isn't very good, IMO.

They're all pretty short pieces, so if you want a few chuckles read the one about Mama Corleone's pregnancy rolleyes


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30282
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I hadn't been to that site in a long time, so I couldn't remember what kind of stuff was there, but I think that explains it... rolleyes

Guess I should've taken a look, first... lol

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30283
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Excellent. Plaw, if you ever published a book, I'd preorder it! wink smile


"Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so"-Gore Vidal
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth"-John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of its shallowness"-George Carlin
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30284
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I have copy and pasted your writing, plawrence, I will read it later as I do not spend alot of time on-line. I have read the first few lines of CHAPTER I, about Rocco Lampone. It is very interesting. You are a very good writer and I suggest you continue to write.

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Plaw, you are certainly much more qualified to write a sequel than Winegardner. Keep up the good work. One word of advice: do not spend any pages on Lucy's vagina or Johnny Fontane's penis. But I guess you are a man who knows that without being told. cool

I am waiting for Chapter 3.


Christopher: Louis Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
Sal: LUCA Brasi, Luca.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30286
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I have just finished reading CHAPTER I and CHAPTER II. I have not read Mark Winegardner's The Godfather Returns, so I can't compare the two, but your sequel of The Godfather is very interesting to read. I am waiting for CHAPTER III also.

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plawrence Offline OP
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Thanks for all the kind words, guys.

Let's finish Chapter 2 first, before we start Chapter 3, Peter. Don't you want to know the whole story of what really happened the night that Hyman Roth and Fredo tried to have Michael killed?


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30288
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Of course, I just excited about CHAPTER III. grin

Your writing has inspired me to write a sequel to The Godfather, too, plawrence. grin

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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence
Sorry your book was such a big flop, Mr. Weingardner.
I've been called a lot of names ... but Weingardner! That's a low blow mad smile wink

For my part, I'm thinking about writing a book in the style of Puzo, as a tribute to his great literary genius. I'm currently studying some detailed textbooks on female genital anatomy for this very purpose.


Joey ...

BANG BANG

... Saza!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30290
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pl, I'm truly enjoying both your story and yuor style of writing. I am surprised at Michael opening up, but I agree that if it were to be with anyone, it would be Tom. He's really all that's left of the old days.

As for Connie accepting Michael's version of Fredo's death, I have to believe that she would have. She recently lost her mother and has agreed to dump the husband and come home. She has finally found peace as Michael's caretaker and surrogate mother to Mary and Anthony. She would have to turn her back on all that, and I find it difficult to believe that she would. I think that she would prefer to believe what she needs to believe in order to survive.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30291
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PLAW! WE WANT MORE wink


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30292
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Meet Edwin Throop. I think you'll be able to guess what's gonna happen next......

Chaper 2 (continued)

Doctor and Professor Edwin Throop, Assistant Chairman of the Mathematics Department at Stanford University, had never been to Las Vegas before despite the proximity of the state of California to Nevada.

Thirty-six years old, short, thin, bespectacled, and as average looking as a man could possibly be, there was absolutely no chance that he could ever stand out in a crowd, which was exactly how he wanted it, considering his plan to break the bank at the Tropicalla Hotel and Casino.

All of his life Professor Throop had been fascinated by (and displayed nothing less than a genius for) numbers. By the time he had entered the first grade of the run-down public school in the rural California town in which he had grown up, he had memorized the multiplication tables and taught himself long division, while his classmates still wrestled with simple addition and subtraction. When he was eight years old and halfway through the third grade he had fully mastered both elementary and intermediate algebra, and in his freshman year of High School was invited to, and regularly attended, the faculty meetings of the Mathematics Department, where he explained to his own teachers some of the advanced concepts and original theories he was working on.

He cared little for physical activity or sports, and displayed no interest whatsoever in members of the opposite sex or in learning any of the social graces of his time, fully concentrating instead on his studies. With the help of a full scholarship, made necessary by the fact that his family had always been poor, he attended College and Graduate School at Stanford, completing both a Masters Degree and Doctorate in Mathematics in under two years, culminating in the publication of his doctoral thesis in the leading mathematics journal in the world and being translated into eleven languages.

He was then regarded, despite his youth, as one of the leading mathematicians in the world and was rewarded with an offer from Stanford to join the faculty and immediately assume the assistant chairmanship of the Mathematics Department.

Completely unprepared for a career in anything but the academic world, Dr. Throop gratefully accepted the offer, despite the fact that on the day he signed his contract he was faced with a harsh realization: A Mathematics Professor, even an Assistant Chairman of the department of a great and world-renowned university such as Stanford, made barely enough money to live.

Or to live, at least, in a style in which Throop had long ago decided that a man of his stature in the world was entitled to.

So Dr. Throop made a decision that would have a far reaching effect on the rest of his life: That he would begin to use his spare time to look for ways in which he could employ his great abilities and huge body of knowledge in the world of mathematics, translating them into two things that the world at large found to be considerably more valuable and useful: Dollars and cents.

And now, in a cheap hotel room located two blocks off Las Vegas Boulevard, already known as “The Strip”, Dr. Edwin Throop had reached the point where he had decided that his research and investigations had led him to one inevitable conclusion. He had decided that he, a Doctor and Professor of Mathematics, could use his considerable talents to make a huge amount of money as a professional player of the game of blackjack.

He had first studied the stock and markets, attempting to determine mathematically if there was a way in which the price movements of these various securities could be predicted with certainty, and he had decided that there weren’t. These markets were controlled by people, and people were just too unpredictable for his taste. Next, he had studied currency markets, trying to see if there was a way to make money from the minute fluctuations of the dollar as compared to various foreign currencies, and discovered that these fluctuations were often the result of outside events over which no one had any control.

And then he discovered gambling. It was impossible to win at roulette and craps, those games being the most popular at the time. Both were games in which the player had to bet on the outcome of either the roll of a pair of dice or the spin of a wooden wheel, and, when they guessed correctly, were paid at less than actual odds of the outcome which they were betting on. Also, he realized that both games were games of what he called “independent probability”, meaning that the dice themselves, or the wheel, had no memory. He learned that when the color black came up three times in a row in roulette, there were people who bet on black on the next spin, believing that black was now “hot”. And he wasn’t surprised to find out that there were an equal number of people anxious to bet on red, thinking that red was now “due”.

But the game of blackjack, or twenty-one, was different. It was a simple game. The player and the dealer each received two cards at the beginning of each hand. Each card had a point value, deuces through nines being worth two through nine points, tens and picture cards were worth ten points, and aces worth either one point or eleven, depending upon the wishes of the player.

The player received two cards, face up, at the start of each hand, and added together their point values. He could then choose take more cards, to “hit” as they called it in the casino, or not, to “stand”, stopping whenever he wished, the object of the game being to reach a total of twenty-one or less which was closer to twenty-one than the total of the dealer. But the game had two problems, which gave the dealer, or the “house”, an advantage:

First, while the player received his two cards face up, the dealer received one face down. So the player was forced to make their decisions without knowing the dealer’s total. And, if the player’s total ended up exceeding twenty-one, a “bust”, he lost automatically, regardless of the dealer’s total. It was this second factor that gave the house a small, but inexorable, built in advantage.

But Throop noticed something interesting about the game as he studied it further. Blackjack, was not a game of independent probability. As various cards were played from the deck and not used again until the deck was finished and re-shuffled, the odds of a player busting could change, and he could alter his decisions to hit or stand accordingly based on those cards remaining to be played

He realized, for example, that when the deck had been played halfway through and there were a disproportionate number of lower cards – twos, threes, and fours – remaining, the player could hit a total of, say, 15 or 16, with less of a chance of busting. And when there were more higher valued cards remaining – tens and picture cards – there were cases when it was better to stand on those totals of 15 or 16, leaving the higher valued cards for the dealer to possibly bust with.

Simply stated, Throop realized that all he had to do to beat the game of blackjack was to determine those situations in which the odds favored the player, and increase his bet from those times in which the odds favored the house.

Sure you still needed to be lucky. Having a four or 5% edge over the house was not very much good on a single bet, but over the long run – and Throop knew that the way a casino made their money was based on the long run – betting with the odds in your favor had to ultimately prove to be profitable.

He had proven his theories. First, developing a way in which to count the cars played and determining which ones were left in the deck to be played. Then, deciding in which situations he should bet more, and finally, with the help of five graduate students, the playing of tens of thousands of practice hands to test his reasoning nd methods.

Now he was ready. With a bankroll of $10,000, which represented his meager life savings of $5,000 as well as an additional $5,000 he had been able to borrow, Edwin Throop planned to make a fortune. He knew he’d have to start small, risking little at the beginning while he built his bankroll up, but in the long run he was convinced that the success of his plan was as certain as such a thing could be.

Leaving his room, he almost had a smile on his face as he began walking the three short blocks to the nearest casino.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30293
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Not sure if I like this section as much as the older ones. Your writing style seems a bit rushed. I also found that someone who was not interested in the opposite sex, etc., wouldn't necessarily be interested in financing an opulent lifestyle by counting cards.

It's still entertaining, and better than most of the books on today's best-seller list, but just not quite up to par with your first attempts.


President Emeritus of the Neal Pulcawer Fan Club
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30294
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plawrence Offline OP
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Well, I have the guy figured as kind of a nerd; someone who figured that he couldn't form relationships with women on his own, but would need some "financial aid" to do it.

Anyway, here's more of Chapter 2, the long awaited scene in which Michael explains what really happened the night of the Tahoe assassination attempt, and who killed the shooters.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Michael and Tom began walking.

“Fredo never got over what happened the day that they tried to kill Pop.” Michael said.
“How he got out of the car and dropped his gun in panic while the shooters escaped. And then, when he was in Vegas, getting slapped around in public by that fucking Moe Greene. He wasn’t my equal and he knew it, and because he was my older brother, it always bothered him.”

“Enough to help try and have you killed?” Tom said. He was still having trouble with the idea that Fredo was anything more than a dupe in the Roth assassination plot.

“Yeah, enough even to try and have me killed” Michael replied quickly. “Let me tell you what really happened.

“Fredo met Johnny Ola in Beverly Hills.” Michael began. “It was no ‘accidental’ meeting; Roth set the whole thing up. I found out later that he knew Fredo was gonna be there from one of Moe Greene’s old pals who was somehow still working for us at the Tropicalla.”

“He worked my brother over real good, that Johnny Ola. He told Fredo that the family was losing respect, that the Rosatos were walking all over Pentangelli’s crew in New York and making us look bad. How Connie was embarrassing the family by the way she was acting, and how I couldn’t control her. And How Hyman Roth, one of Pop’s “old friends”, felt so badly for us.” Michael couldn’t resist letting a note of sarcasm drip into his voice.

“He told Fredo that of all of the friends of the family, all of the heads of the other families, felt everyone would be better off with me out of the picture.” Michael continued. “How I was nothing more than a ruthless killer who couldn’t be trusted. He told Fredo that the Commission had met secretly and decided that I had to go, and that afterwards they would all endorse Fredo as the new head of the family.”

“He said that we were being run out of New York, and that I was getting in over my head with the Vegas move…..that it was just a matter of time until we lost what little influence and power we had left. He told Fredo that that he was the only member of the family left who everyone felt that they could reason with, the only one with my father’s sense of fairness.”

“And Fredo bought that story?” Tom asked.

“All the way.” Michael answered. “He saw getting rid of me as a way to get the power that he’d always wanted and never had. He’d be even with Pop for ‘passing him over’, and even with me for being Pop’s choice even though I was his younger brother. So he agreed to Ola’s plan.”

“And the plan was….” Tom began.

“The plan was, of course, to assassinate me on the night of Anthony’s communion party. They figured that would be the perfect time to it. With all the guests around, and the governor’s security people, and the caterers and clean-up crew and everyone else, they thought it would be easy to sneak a couple of professionals onto the estate without anyone noticing.” Michael said.

“Somehow, Roth got to the guy who owned the company that supplied all the tables and linens for the party, and they had two extra guys with their weapons hidden inside their truck when they delivered all the stuff that morning. Must’ve cost that old bastard Roth plenty to set that up. Anyway, as soon as they had a chance, the two guys jumped out of the truck and hid in the woods until it was dark. Fredo had already given Ola a map of the property and a diagram of my house, and, of course, it was Fredo who snuck in and opened the drapes. As soon as they saw me inside, they opened fire. It was nothing but luck that prevented Kay and I from being killed.”

“One thing, though, Mike. Who killed the hit men?” Tom asked.

Michael chuckled. “That was the best part of the whole plan, and you’re not gonna believe it. The two guys we found in the ditch weren’t the hit men. They were two fresh dead bodies, smuggled onto the property in the truck with the hit men. Apparently they had been killed a day before the party, and kept on ice inside the linen truck. By the time the truck got onto the estate, they were almost frozen stiff, and would need ten or twelve hours to thaw out, perfect timing for when we were supposed to find them. I swear, I almost had to laugh when I heard this part. The two hit men dragged them into the woods, and when it came time for the shooting to start, they dragged them back and dumped them in the ditch first. Then, when the shooting stopped, they went back into the woods and walked along the shoreline of the lake for about two miles to a spot where Roth had a boat waiting for them. Of course, when we found the bodies in the ditch, we assumed that they were the shooters, and we stopped looking for anyone else. That made it very easy for the real shooters to escape.”

Tom whistled softly. “You’re right, Mikey. That story is unbelievable.

“Yeah” Michael said. “Fredo knew all along that it was supposed to be a hit. Roth was smart. He figured that the only way Fredo would go along with the plan was if it ended with me being killed. Fredo wouldn’t have played along any other way – he would’ve always been afraid that somehow I would find out what happened if I were left alive.”

“True enough” Tom Hagen said. "You left out one part, though, Mike. How did you figure all of this out?”

“I didn’t figure it out” Michael replied. “Fredo told the whole story himself. Last week. When he begged me to kill him because he didn’t have the nerve to do it himself.”


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30295
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dontomasso Offline
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Hmmmmmm Plaw, I dunno.

You are not going to please the "Fredo didn't know" crowd (if you know what I mean."

And as for the bodies on ice, wouldn't Tom have had access to those bodies since that was the instant when Michael left him in charge?

Your idea is a good one, and picking it apart is what we do best, whether its Puzo, FFC or you. But keep it up!


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30296
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
.....as for the bodies on ice, wouldn't Tom have had access to those bodies since that was the instant when Michael left him in charge?
I'm not sure I understand your question, DT.

When they found the bodies, they were all thawed out and everyone assumed that they were the hitmen. What's your question about Tom's access to the bodies?

As far as the Fredo didn't know" crowd goes, there are those who think he knew and those who think he didn't, so I'm not gonna be able to please everyone.

Interestingly, I was always part of the "didn't know" crowd, but I thought the revelation that he did know, and had asked Mike to kill him was actually quite dramatic, if I do say so myself.

Please feel free to pick it apart as much as you wish. I certainly don't want to be thought of as the second coming of Weingardner.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30297
07/06/05 03:42 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
[b] Hmmmmmm Plaw, I dunno.

You are not going to please the "Fredo didn't know" crowd (if you know what I mean."

And as for the bodies on ice, wouldn't Tom have had access to those bodies since that was the instant when Michael left him in charge?

Your idea is a good one, and picking it apart is what we do best, whether its Puzo, FFC or you. But keep it up!
I'm not sure I understand your question, DT.

When they found the bodies, they were all thawed out and everyone assumed that they were the hitmen. What's your question about Tom's access to the bodies?

As far as the Fredo didn't know" crowd goes, there are those who think he knew and those who think he didn't, so I'm not gonna be able to please everyone.

Interestingly, I was always part of the "didn't know" crowd", but I thought the revelation that he did know, and had asked Mike to kill him was actually quite dramatic, if I do say so myself. [/b]
Plaw, I just meant that Tom would have had the chance to inspect the bodies, but you are right he would not have known they were thawed out. I like the whole idea of Fredo begging for his life, and the Johnny Ola meeting is pure genius.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30298
07/06/05 03:45 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
I like the whole idea of Fredo begging for his life....
You mean begging Mike to end his life.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30299
07/06/05 04:00 PM
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i think it sounds plausible. i really can't find any reason as to why that story couldn't be true at all. it shows that fredo wasn't a complete idiot like he's made out to be sometimes, but it also shows that he wasn't really that smart either, which i think is the perfect description of fredo. it gives fredo a ruthlessness to kill his own brother, which some might say he didn't have, but it is possible given the
"i was passed over" scene. one thing that struck me was michael's swearing. that doesn't really seem to fit his cold, calculating character to me. but i have never read the novel, so if there michael uses language like that in the novel that doesn't show up on screen, then i apologize. i know you've admitted that writing dialogue isn't one of your strengths, so i don't mean to beat a dead horse. i certainly enjoy reading it and think you're doing a great job.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30300
07/06/05 09:20 PM
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Note: If you've begun Chapter 2, I've made a small but significant change in the section about Edwin Throop.

Rather than have him begin playing at the Tropicalla, he starts off at a different, un-named casino. I'm gonna save the Tropicalla for later.

I'm sure everyone has a pretty good idea of what's coming, anyway wink .


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30301
07/07/05 12:50 PM
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I am enjoying these installments. You have to figure that Roth must've paid off someone to get on the estate, but I can't see him trusting Fredo to smuggle them in. One of the people hired for the day is far more plausible.

I like the fact that Tom is the only one he trusts. Just one continuity question, and I apologize if I'm mistaken, but aren't the Senate hearings long after the attempted hit?


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30302
07/07/05 01:26 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
Just one continuity question, and I apologize if I'm mistaken, but aren't the Senate hearings long after the attempted hit?
Yeah.....Did I imply otherwise somewhere? confused


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30303
07/07/05 03:50 PM
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>>“He told Fredo that of all of the friends of the family, all of the heads of the other families, felt everyone would be better off with me out of the picture.” Michael continued. “How I was nothing more than a ruthless killer who couldn’t be trusted, and how I was hated for bringing all that heat down on everyone with the Senate hearings. He told Fredo that the Commission had met secretly and decided that I had to go, and that afterwards they would all endorse Fredo as the new head of the family.”<<

PL, That's what I was referring to. Italics are mine, btw.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30304
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My mistake, SB. Nice catch. blush Thanks.

Don Tomasso PMed me with a few more ideas about how Ola convinced Fredo, so I'm gonna redo part of that section.

You know, if Weingardner had vetted his book with a few of us, he would have had a better book.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

If Weingardner had vetted his book with a few of us, his book would not have been as bad as it was.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30305
07/07/05 09:12 PM
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One of the advantages of working for an anal-retentive micro-manager for 8 years is that I'm a heck of a proof-reader!! lol


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30306
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OK, I made some minor changes to the Tom/Michael "Walk & Talk" scene, incorporating some of Don Tomasso's suggestions and the timeline mistake that Sicilian Babe caught.

Thanks again, guys.

Here's another installment:

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
Willi Cicci was seated in the office of Bradley Pennington, Assistant Attorney General of the United States.

Even seated behind his desk, Pennington was a handsome and imposing, if rather youngish looking, figure. Six feet, four inches tall with blonde hair and blue eyes and only thirty-two years of age, his rise through the ranks of the Justice Department had been meteoric.

After graduating from Yale University, where he had played three sports and starred at forward on a basketball team that had won the Ivy League championship, he stayed at Yale for Law School, editing the school’s law review, and being offered, upon graduation, a position clerking for a noted Supreme Court Justice, for whom he had written the bulk of the majority opinion in an important case involving school desegregation in the south.

Upon completion of his clerkship, he was recommended by that grateful justice for a government position, which he eagerly accepted, thinking that a few years working for the Justice Department would enable him to make the contacts necessary for an entry into either a lurative private practice or politics.

“First of all, the government would like to thank you once again for your cooperation, Mr. Cicci” Pennington said. “Even though Michael Corleone was able to ‘escape our clutches’ so to speak, we think we gave him and his cohorts – his associates – in organized crime something to think about.”

Willi Cicci knew exactly what a “cohort” was. It always amused him, he thought, how people perceived him as someone lacking in intelligence. He had used that perception to his advantage many times in the past, and he thought about the time that he had made Senator Questadt explain to him what a “buffer” was.

“Also, Mr. Cicci, I have here the details and necessary paperwork and such for your new identity. You’ll also find your plane ticket inside, and all the information that you’ll need to get started with, ah, your ‘new life’, so to speak.” He handed an envelope across the desk to Willi.

Cicci took the envelope, but did not open it. He waited to see if Pennington was going to say anything else.

Pennington was the first to break the silence. “Your new name will be Dominick Abruzzio. You’re being relocated to Houston, Texas. As our agreement stipulates, you will receive a lump sum of $2000 to help you get settled, and a $400 monthly stipend from the government for the next two years. But you’re expected to find employment and become self sufficient within that time period.

Cicci knew exactly what the terms of his agreement with the government were, and he didn’t need Pennington to explain them to him for what seemed like the twentieth time since he had made the deal to testify four months go. He sat there and continued to stare at Pennington. He still hadn’t said a word.

“Well, Mr. Cicci, if you don’t have any questions….” Pennington was clearly becoming uneasy in the presence of a career criminal and murderer. “If there’s nothing else, you’ll have to excuse me, please.” He rose.

“Agents Ross and Wilson are waiting for you outside. They will escort you back to your hotel, and then to the airport this evening to make sure you get on your plane all right. I would advise you, by the way, to cut your hair and shave your mustache once you are no longer under the direct protection of the FBI.” He paused for a moment. “Let me thank you once again for your invaluable help and cooperation, and take this opportunity to wish you the very best of luck.’ He tentatively held out his hand, and Cicci, just as tentatively, shook it.

Dominick Abruzzio of Houston, Texas. He’d blend in nicely there, Willi thought, fighting hard to suppress a smile. He’d go to Houston, he thought. He might even stay a while and get settled. But he also had some ideas of his own. Like a visit to Nevada, where he planned to say “Hello” to an old friend and former employer.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30307
07/08/05 10:55 AM
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Nice. I like Pennington. And love Cicci being deeper than the peeks we've been allowed in the movies. You figure he had to be intelligent and ruthless if the Corleones were willing to trust him with Tessio's execution.

PS Me being slightly anal again. In the conversation between Tom and Michael, you should capitalize Pop.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30308
07/08/05 11:11 AM
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sb, if you think you're anal retentive, you're not alone. plaw, i was going back and rereading all the stories again to see the changes you've made, and i noticed in the first installment that it states frankie killed himself while the fbi agents played pinochle, but weren't they playing hearts? completely irrelevant, i know, but i just thought i'd ask so my children aren't pointing out the continuity errors of the greatest selling book of all time on some message board someday. wink but if i'm wrong, just tell me to get a life.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30309
07/08/05 11:25 AM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
In the conversation between Tom and Michael, you should capitalize Pop.
I changed it, but according to MS Word spellcheck, it should be lower case. confused I'll have to look into that further.
Quote
Originally posted by Jimmy Buffer:
i noticed in the first installment that it states frankie killed himself while the fbi agents played pinochle, but weren't they playing hearts?
Yup, it was hearts, and I changed it.

Thank you both.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30310
07/08/05 11:35 AM
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Right on, Plaw!

So let me get this straight...Pennington ghost wrote Brown v. Board of Education and then is reduced to talking to the likes of Willi Cicci, all in the name of political ambition!

OR

You are being VERY subtle in your foreshadowings and your sense of irony. Remember that Pentangeli (Cicii's Don) was furious that the Rosatos recruited "spicks and niggahs." Ultimately the whole operation was integrated thanks to Joey Zasa. Thus without the visionary opinion Pennington wrote, the whole direction of what happened to the Corleone operation in New York would never have happened.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30311
07/08/05 12:33 PM
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I'd like to say that I am being "very subtle in (my) foreshadowings and sense of irony", but unfortunately I'm not that good. ohwell

I really didn't have anything more in mind for Pennington, but since Sicilian Babe likes him maybe I'll keep him around.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30312
07/08/05 12:37 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
I'd like to say that I am being "very subtle in (my) foreshadowings and sense of irony", but unfortunately I'm not that good. ohwell

Sure you are Plaw. You don't really think FFC and Puzo thought out all the things we on these boards have extrapolated from the novel and the movies do you? Great artists never really know what they are creating.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30313
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Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
Great artists never really know what they are creating.
I like that smile


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30315
07/08/05 03:26 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Partagas:
I know novels are different than the movies, BUT one consistant theme in all three movies was a big time function (Connie's Wedding, Anthony's First Communion, Michael's Papal Award) Not to say your version has to do that but just an idea.
I had that in mind when I started; recall that the last line in the first section about Rocco mentions "The funeral of Fredo Corleone", but I guess I got sidetracked introducing all of the characters. ohwell

But when he makes the movie version, I'll change it around in the screenplay so FFC can open with a big 20 minute funeral mass scene.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30316
07/08/05 03:30 PM
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Gee, a character just for me?? blush I'm touched. Well, you know that FFC always loved to have Anglos to kick around (Bonasera's court experience, McCluskey, the Ellis Island workers, Geary), so I think that Pennington should stick around, if only to serve that purpose. wink

As for the Pop, wouldn't you capitalize Dad or Daddy? It is a proper noun. The same rule should apply to Pop, since that's what they called their father.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30317
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:

Michael chuckled. “That was the best part of the whole plan, and you’re not gonna believe it. The two guys we found in the ditch weren’t the hit men. They were two fresh dead bodies, smuggled onto the property in the truck with the hit men. Apparently they had been killed a day before the party, and kept on ice inside the linen truck. By the time the truck got onto the estate, they were almost frozen stiff, and would need ten or twelve hours to thaw out, perfect timing for when we were supposed to find them. I swear, I almost had to laugh when I heard this part. The two hit men dragged them into the woods, and when it came time for the shooting to start, they dragged them back and dumped them in the ditch first. Then, when the shooting stopped, they went back into the woods and walked along the shoreline of the lake for about two miles to a spot where Roth had a boat waiting for them. Of course, when we found the bodies in the ditch, we assumed that they were the shooters, and we stopped looking for anyone else. That made it very easy for the real shooters to escape.”

Tom whistled softly. “You’re right, Mikey. That story is unbelievable.

Oh Yeah, That is for sure. Like Tom said, that story is unbelievable.

You better do some more research on bodies if you want to use anything like this! Because this story line is surely unbelievable. Even Weingardner wouldn't miss this one. lol

Sorry, these last few don't come close to the stuff you first started with. frown


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You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30318
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This is the kind of feedback and fact checking I need. Obviously, I thought the story was a bit unbelievable, hence Mike's comment to Tom.

I tried like hell to come up with a theory for the age-old and oft discussed question of "Who killed the Tahoe asassin?" that fit all of he facts as we knew them, and if I do say so myself, this one a least was unique and fit the facts.

I figured that unless the bodies were frozen and thawed out, rigor mortis would have set in long before they were dumped in the ditch, which would have been noticed when they were "fished out".

So permit me, if I may, to ask an expert on the subject:

Would the bodies need longer to thaw out? How long does it take before RM would set in? Or, what's a scenario I could use that would permit the substitution of the bodies without anyone knowing that they had been dead for maybe 16-18 hours?


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30319
07/10/05 06:41 AM
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The end of Chapter 2.....Don Altobello and Joey Zasa take an airplane ride, and Michael tells his sister that Fredo is dead. But does she believe his story?

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Don Nicholas Altobello disliked the idea of traveling on an airplane. In fact, he considered the airplane to be a wholly unreliable means of transportation, although if asked why he was unable to offer anything other than his inability to understand how a machine made of metal and weighing several tons when fully loaded with passengers could possibly stay in the air, ascending and descending only because of the operation of its controls by a pilot, who seemed to be able to do so with no more difficulty than it took one to drive an automobile.

The unexpected assassination of Hyman Roth, however, had forced this airplane trip. Roth’s wife, in accordance with Jewish law which required burial as soon as possible, had scheduled his funeral for the day following his death, and Altobello, after consulting various train schedules, had determined that it would not be possible for him to attend unless he made the trip to Miami by air.

Sleeping in the first class seat next to him, Joey Zasa had no such problems. Dozing even before the plane left the runway of New York’s LaGuardia Airport, Zasa awoke only when he found his face a few inches away from the backside of the pretty young stewardess who was bending over to serve dinner to the passenger in the seat across the aisle.

Altobello watched with amusement. “Ah, Joey, you have an eye for the pretty young girls.” He said.

“What can I tell ‘ya, Nicky. I’ve been chasing girls since I was four.” His New York accent made it sound like “flaw", only without the letter “L”.
“It’s gonna get you in trouble one day” Altobello said. “You wait and see.”

“Nicky, don’t worry about it” Zasa looked at his wristwatch, diamond encrusted and custom-made by the most famous watchmaker in Switzerland. “We should be landing in about fifteen minutes.”

“The sooner the better, Joey” replied Altobello. “You know how I hate riding in these things.”

“What are you worried about?” asked Zasa. “You’re safer in an airplane than you are in your own bathtub.”

“Especially in our business” Altobello laughed out loud at his own joke.

Below them now was icy looking clear blue water, and the coastline of Florida had become off to their right, drawing closer.

“Joey, you know I’m a religious man” Altobello said. “If God had wanted us to fly, he would have given us wings.”

“That’s silly, Nick.” Joey Zasa smiled at what he thought was the simple-mindedness of this powerful Don. He wondered again, for perhaps the hundredth time, how a man such as Nicholas Altobello could have become so powerful, and decided again that for now it would have to remain a mystery to him. “That’s the same as saying ‘if God wanted us to drive, he would have given us wheels instead of legs’ “.

“Joey, always with the wisecracks, Joey. That’s one of the things that I love about you.” Altobello said. “Look, we’re coming in for a landing.”

Their airplane landed and taxied to a hangar, where a metal stairway was rolled out and placed against the body of the plane. As if he could no longer wait, the moment the doors were opened the first person out to feel the intense Florida heat was Don Nicholas Altobello, head of one of the most powerful Mafia families in the country.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ## # #


Although the members of the Corleone family referred to their home on Lake Tahoe as an estate, it was really much more like a high security compound. Extending in every direction from the lake for several hundred wooded acres, it was completely surrounded, both at its furthest perimeter and again in the inner area which included the airstrip and various buildings, by a fence of barbed wire which could be electrified by the mere flipping of a switch.

Within the second fence were was the huge lawn on which Anthony Corleone’s First Communion party had been held, nearly two acres square in size, leading from the edge of the lake and its large dock, and then the boathouse, used mostly by Michael as his personal office and private sanctuary. Beyond the boathouse stood the main house in which Michael lived; two smaller houses, those of Tom Hagen and his family and Connie Corleone and her children; and four two-bedroom cottages, one occupied by Al Neri, one the home of Rocco Lampone, and two more available for the occasional overnight visitors, almost all of whom came to Lake Tahoe for the purposes of business.

Michael and Ton emerged from the woods on the path leading from the airstrip. “Let’s get Neri first, then go and talk to my sister” Michael said.

The two men walked to Al Neri’s house, and Tom waited a few feet away when Michael knocked on the door. Neri opened it, saw Michael and Tom waiting for him, and after he and Hagen exchanged barely perceptible nods, the three of them cut across the huge lawn and began walking towards the house occupied by Connie Corleone.

“You understand that I’m going to tell Connie it was an accident” Michael said. Hagen and Neri were both silent.

“She wouldn’t understand the truth” Michael added. It was almost as if he were still trying to justify to himself the act of murdering his own brother.

Michael knocked on the door, and Connie opened it. Seeing the looks on the faces of the three man, Connie instinctively knew that something was wrong.

“Michael” she said. “What is it?”
“Can we come in?” Michael asked.

Connie stepped aside, and the three men entered the house.

“Where are the children?” Michael said, looking around the room.
“Victor is outside somewhere” Connie replied. “Michael is upstairs taking a nap.”

Hagen and Neri were still standing in the entranceway, flanking either side of the door. “Sit down, Connie” Michael said.

Connie sat down on the sofa, and Michael took a dining room chair, turned it around, and sat down facing his sister less than three feet away, facing her with his arms resting on the back of the chair.

“Fredo’s dead, Connie” Michael said. He waited for her response, a question, or even an indication that she had heard him.

Connie said nothing. “He drowned” Michael said. “When he went fishing this afternoon with Al”.

Connie stared straight ahead, past Michael, into some unknown space. “I knew something was wrong when you said that you weren’t going to Reno after all” she said. “After Fredo and Al had already left.” She looked at Al Neri, standing in the doorway, but strangely he was staring through the window at something unseen outside.

“Did it have to happen, Michael?” she said.

Michael was unsure if she saw through his story, or was simply questioning the action of fate, so he said nothing.

Connie was fighting to hold back her tears. “I accept it, Michael” she said simply. ‘Whatever happened was meant to be.” She reached out and embraced her brother, who hugged her tightly while he continued to wonder whether or not she embraced the story of Fredo’s death as well.

# # # # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # #


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30321
07/10/05 08:12 AM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Part: Here's what I was thinking motivated Connie to act the way she did in this scene--

She's accepts her role and Michael's role in the family. She accepts Fredo's death as something that had to happen, whether by Michael's hand or by fate. She herself is not sure if she belives Mike's story or not, but realizes that either way "what's done is done", and so she accepts it, knowing that there is nothing she can do about it anyway.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30322
07/10/05 12:28 PM
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I think that Connie reacted as Connie would have. She knew that, at this point, Michael is all she has left. Taking care of Michael is all she's got, as her children are pretty well grown. Also, her own kids were screwed up. She could see being a surrogate mother to Michael's children as a way to redeem herself as a mother.

Anyway, the only thing that I might change about her reaction is that instead of fighting back the tears, perhaps they could stream silently, that they made their way down her face in spite of the fact that she struggled against them, as if the old, emotional Connie still lives below the new calm surface.

I do like Joey, especially the nice touch with the watch. What I didn't understand was "four" and "floor". Aren't they supposed to rhyme, or is it because I'm from NY?


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30323
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
Taking care of Michael is all she's got, as her children are pretty well grown.
According to Peter Biskind's The Godafther Companion, Connie's oldest, Victor, was born in 1949, which doesn't jibe with Michael's comment to Connie about him being picked up in Reno for petty theft, since my story is set in the late 50's.

I decided to go with the younger Victor, since the 1949 birthdate had more credibility, since his baptism scene is depicted in the film and corresponds with that date.

Also, again according to Briskind, her second son, Michael, was born in 1955, presumably the offspring of Connie's second marriage.

That's why I had one of them "outside somewhere (playing?)", and the other napping.


Quote
I do like Joey, especially the nice touch with the watch. What I didn't understand was "four" and "floor". Aren't they supposed to rhyme, or is it because I'm from NY?
Yup, it's the Noo Yawk accent that Joey had. "Four" without pronouncing the "R".

But looking at it now, I realize that we don't pronounce the "R" in "floor" either, so that was a bad example. I'm gonna go back and change it to "flaw". lol


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30324
07/10/05 02:17 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
I decided to go with the younger Victor, since the 1949 birthdate had more credibility, since his baptism scene is depicted in the film and corresponds with that date.
I assume it is Victor that Connie is carrying when she is beaten by Carlo, who is then beaten by Sonny. It is Michael Rizzi's baptism at the end of The Godfather. If Victor is born around the time of Sonny's death, and Michael Corleone has time to meet, marry and bury Appollonia, return to America, live with his parents for at least a year before going to see Kay where he promises to legitimize the family in five years, then seven years goes by and he's dancing with Kay at the party, Victor easily could be a young teen at beginning of GF2.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30325
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Timeline and continuity problems have been much discussed here, of course.

If and when I ever finish this thing, I'll have to edit out any references to the characters that could leave me open to the nitpickers. grin wink lol tongue

Seriously, I appreciate the feedback. Now, if FS would only tell me how long I need to thaw out a frozen body......

Also, the Fredo funeral scene will be taking place without a body. Anybody know how a Roman Catholic funeral would be handled under those circumstances?


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30326
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We're waiting!! We want more, we want more, we want more!!


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30327
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
Also, the Fredo funeral scene will be taking place without a body. Anybody know how a Roman Catholic funeral would be handled under those circumstances?
I believe a closed coffin would be used with something from the person's personal possesions inside. Unlike the jewish religion, the catholic religion does not require a body. I'm pretty sure of that.

In reality you could always have it that Michael requested a closed coffin becasue his brothers body was too deformed from being in the water for so long. So even if there really was no body, the family would not know that and they would think that Fredo's body WAS inside. It is not uncommon to have a closed coffin for someone who drowned.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30328
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Not sure if this will help, but it was interesting.

Catholic Funeral Guidelines


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30329
07/13/05 12:25 AM
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Okay, Plaw, it is the All-Star break, so I'm going to try my best to catch up; I copy/pasted all the parts into Microsoft Word to have them all together. I think I've forgotten what I'd already read, as it's been a while, but maybe it'll be better to read everything at once, anyway. I don't think I'll be able to read it tonight, but I'll try to get started on it as soon as possible...after all, baseball will be back before you know it! grin

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30330
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By popular demand, Chapter 3 begins.

Say hello to the annoying (to some) Kay Corleone, and yet another lawyer ohwell

Chapter 3

Kay Corleone had briefly considered dropping the “Corleone” from her name and reverting back to her maiden name of Adams, and, in fact, had even done so for a short time, until she realized the she received much better service and was treated with considerably more deference when people learned that her name was Corleone, even in situations when they weren’t certain that she was one of those Corleones.

Sitting across the desk from her newest attorney, Douglas Michelson, Kay wondered if she were not on a mission of futility. The divorce proceedings in the Nevada courtroom that had not only terminated her marriage to Michael Corleone but awarded him custody of their two children, Anthony and Mary, had been, in her mind, a sham. The judge, it seemed to her, had been far from impartial, and even her own lawyer had appeared at times to be working against her.

After losing the custody battle, Kay had moved to Carson City in order to be close enough to the Corleone Tahoe estate to be able to visit Anthony and Mary on the alternate weekends which were permitted by the court. Her former sister-in-law, Connie, and Tom Hagen, had remained friendly, and, to an extent, even sympathetic to her and the difficulty of her plight, but the children seemed to be growing more and more distant from her in the months following their separation.

Finally, unable to bear the pain of seeing her children so infrequently, unable to handle the accompanying guilt, and unable to deal any longer with the anger she felt against the father of her children who she had once loved, Kay Corleone began to make inquiries in Carson City, hoping to find an attorney who could re-open her case.

Douglas Michelson had come to her attention through several sources. He had practiced in Nevada capitol for more than ten years, having moved there from California following the war, in which he had served with distinction in the Judge Advocates Generals Corps. Setting up a private practice, he had become well connected politically over the years and developed a reputation as a man who could “get things done”. He was friends with the Governor and State Senator Geary, two of the most powerful men in the state, and was even acquainted with some of the lesser known, though equally influential men in Nevada, men such as Tom Hagen and the recently deceased Hyman Roth.

Although he had no particular love, or even liking, for those who he considered part of the “gangster element” who were populating Nevada in increasing numbers, he was practical enough to understand that gambling, more than the clean air and beautiful scenery, was responsible for the state’s economic growth, and pragmatic enough to be willing to look the other way at the activities of the gamblers and casino owners, understanding that they were, at least for now, an integral part of the process.

He had earned a considerable amount of money over the years arguing for the casino licensing of men that the Gaming Commission had initially turned down, and for the exclusion of others from the famed Las Vegas “Black Book”, a listing of those individuals who were considered to be “undesirable” and had been barred from entering the casinos.

In fact, Michelson had thought at times, he would not have had very much of a practice had it not been for his work with various individuals who he knew without doubt were associated in some way with organized crime, and he had no desire to jeopardize his relationship with them.

Still, he felt sorry for the woman now sitting across from him. Clearly, she had not been treated fairly by the Nevada courts. She had lost the custody fight for her children for another reason that he could see than the identity of her former husband. Obviously, the judge had been afraid of who and what her husband was and the influence he wielded in the state. He had been presented to the court as a legitimate businessman and casino owner, with no mention made of his position as head of the most powerful organized crime family in the United States. It was argued that it was he who would best be able to provide for the children, who, under his guardianship, would live on an estate, attend the best private schools, and be supervised at all times by a professional governess. Her own attorney, it had appeared to Michelson, had been incompetent, yet he was not surprised to learn that just a few short weeks after representing Kay Corleone, that very same attorney had been appointed a Judge of the Nevada Appellate Court.

He had listened to Kay Corleone’s story with interest, and felt that he could help her. The question in his mind was whether or not he wanted to.

“I believe that we do have good grounds for reopening your case, Mrs. Corleone” he began. “It would appear that there were certain facts about your ex-husband which were not brought out at the original custody hearing. You were married to him for ten years, and there is quite a bit that you could testify to regarding his criminal activities, but, unfortunately, without a corroborating witness I’m afraid that your testimony would not carry very much weight.”

“I know, Mr. Michelson” Kay said. “That’s always been the problem. Getting someone to testify against Michael.

“Perhaps his sister” Michaelson said. “Surely, as a woman, she must realize that the children would be better off with you.”

“No chance” said Kay. “Connie would never go against her brother.”

Kay was beginning to feel helpless again. Yet somehow, for some reason, she felt an attraction to this man and believed that he would be the one who could finally help her.

“Well, Mrs. Corleone” he said “Without someone to help us, I’m afraid that we don’t have very much of a chance.”

“Please call me ‘Kay’ ” she said. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to get to know this man any better than she already did, except for the feeling that he could he help.

“I’d be happy to call you ‘Kay’ “ he replied. “But only if you begin to call me ‘Douglas’. Perhaps you would like to join me for dinner this evening, Kay” Michelson said. “We can discuss your case further” he added, with a slight smile and a twinkle in his eye.

“Why, that would be very nice, Douglas” Kay answered. “I think I would like that very much.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30331
07/13/05 01:22 PM
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YAY!! More!! I think that Kay is properly grief-stricken about the loss of her children in your description of her, but I don't know if she comes across that way in her conversation. However, I still crave more, so you must be doing something right!! smile


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30332
07/13/05 01:52 PM
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A LAWYER hitting on his client? Say it aint so!


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30333
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
A LAWYER hitting on his client? Say it aint so!
Douglas is Kay's future husband, so that makes it OK.

Gotta have a little romance in there, don't we?

Plus, it will gave me a chance to try my hand at writing some, um, "love scenes".

How's this:

His hand reached around and down her belly until he felt the touch of her moist, warm, and turgid flesh.

or this:

Instinctively she wrapped her fingers around his hard and throbbing manhood.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30334
07/14/05 09:45 AM
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Turgid?? You gotta love a word like turgid. Also, you could try and work sultry in there. There's something about that word, too. And don't forget to have Kay tremble at some point. That's VERY important. And at some point, they need to sigh. In unison. Perhaps after they quake and tremble. In unison.

And then you can have that Italian model with the long hair (what IS his name???) be on the cover. wink


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30335
07/14/05 09:53 AM
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
Turgid?? You gotta love a word like turgid. Also, you could try and work sultry in there. There's something about that word, too. And don't forget to have Kay tremble at some point. That's VERY important. And at some point, they need to sigh. In unison. Perhaps after they quake and tremble. In unison.
lol lol Yeah, there's a million examples of unison orgasms IN LITERATURE! smile

Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
And then you can have that Italian model with the long hair (what IS his name???) be on the cover. wink
dunno. What Italian model? confused You possibly mean Monica Bellucci?


I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth (Blanche/A streetcar named desire)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30336
07/14/05 10:23 AM
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No, he was a model for romance novel covers and he was very muscular and had long blond hair. I cannot remember his name.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30337
07/14/05 10:52 AM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
[b] A LAWYER hitting on his client? Say it aint so!
Douglas is Kay's future husband, so that makes it OK.

Gotta have a little romance in there, don't we?

Plus, it will gave me a chance to try my hand at writing some, um, "love scenes".

How's this:

His hand reached around and down her belly until he felt the touch of her moist, warm, and turgid flesh.

or this:

Instinctively she wrapped her fingers around his hard and throbbing manhood. [/b]
Well it had better be protected sex cause we dont want any more abortions.

He felt her hot breath on his neck as he pleasured her wet clitoris with his finger.
"Oh Douglas, its been so long," she said as he pressed his hard granite-hard member against her pulsating thigh. Expertly he unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra, revealing her heaving mounds....supple yet firm, her nipples erect.

Feeling him up against her, her mind was racing, inexplicably the term "hung like a horse entered her mind, and suddenly she was distracted because her mind flashed to a story she had heard about a horse named Khartoum.

"Whats wrong Kay?"
"Its nothing...its about..."
"That part of your life...that nighmare is over, Kay, he said stroking her hair and nibbling at her earlobes."


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30338
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What happened to the nice mafia story that was being told? lol


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Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30339
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We do seem to have drifted. Perhaps we need to get back to poor Fredo's funeral...


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30340
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Yes. A sexual scene with Kay just doesn't do it for me. [Linked Image]


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Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30341
07/14/05 12:47 PM
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Wake up people!

Put those cheap dime store sex novels back under your desks!


You all think you are masters in the sex department. The truth being you are really "Fredo" when it comes to the real thing. lol


ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM.
"...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824

Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"

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You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30342
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
No, he was a model for romance novel covers and he was very muscular and had long blond hair. I cannot remember his name.
Are you talkin about Fabbio (sp?) Big chest, long blonde hair, open white shirt with an accent?

No, I don't know anything about him. lol


ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM.
"...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824

Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"

CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.

You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30343
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FS - YES!! Thank you! It was driving me nuts, because I couldn't remember.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30344
07/14/05 12:59 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
We do seem to have drifted. Perhaps we need to get back to poor Fredo's funeral...
The funeral apparently has been postponed. Something about Father Carmello being unavailable.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30345
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Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
Yes. A sexual scene with Kay just doesn't do it for me. [Linked Image]


Don Cardi cool
DC didnt you see the sex scene in Something's Gotta Give?


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30346
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Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
[b] Yes. A sexual scene with Kay just doesn't do it for me. [Linked Image]


Don Cardi cool
DC didnt you see the sex scene in Something's Gotta Give? [/b]
I didn't say Diane Keaton, I said KAY . wink


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Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30347
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Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
Quote
Originally posted by dontomasso:
[b] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Don Cardi:
[qb] Yes. A sexual scene with Kay just doesn't do it for me. [Linked Image]


Don Cardi cool
DC didnt you see the sex scene in Something's Gotta Give? [/b]
I didn't say Diane Keaton, I said KAY . wink


Point taken DC. Here's my idea of Kay "seducing" Michael.
KAY - Oh Michael, what do you mean you are already finished? Whats the matter with you anyway? You promise me you would care for me and all you do is this perfunctory sex and then go and talk to Al Neri. What's so important about him anyway?

MICHAEL - Don't ask me about my businesss, Kay.

KAY - You just don't find me attractive anymore. Maybe your father was right when he said a man who doesnt spent enough time with his family can never be a real man. You're not a real man Michael.

MICHAEL - Kay thats hardly the way to get me to...

KAY - So now you are telling me what I am thinkking too? Is there no end to this Michael?


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30348
07/14/05 02:05 PM
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fathersson Offline
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EARTHQUAKE ROCKS NEW YORK!

Boy was it a big one! Cars drove off the roads, little kids where knocked off their feet, cans fell from store shelves! All subway travel has been halted.


Seems it's center turned out to be in a local Cemetery.

After further investigation......
Turns out it was Mario Puzo turning over in his grave. lol


ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM.
"...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824

Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"

CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.

You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30349
07/14/05 02:23 PM
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dontomasso Offline
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FS I thought you might be describing War of the Worlds


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30350
07/14/05 04:29 PM
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Don Cardi Offline
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FS, what have these people ever done to you to make you disrespect them this way? eek


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30351
07/14/05 07:21 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Sheesh..... rolleyes

I write almost 10,000 words and get a handful of comments from one or two steady readers.

Then I write about the mere possibility of a sex scene, and look what happens ohwell

I guess it does go to prove that sex sells. frown


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30352
07/14/05 07:34 PM
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fathersson Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
FS, what have these people ever done to you to make you disrespect them this way? eek


Don Cardi cool
Here we go again ohwell


ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM.
"...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824

Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"

CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.

You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?

Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30353
07/14/05 08:27 PM
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J Geoff Offline
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No wonder you haven't done the First Half stats yet -- you're too busy writing sex scenes (with one hand?)... tongue lol



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30354
07/14/05 08:28 PM
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Okay, JG, there's a picture in my head that's never going to go away - Mario Puzo writing one-handed about Lucy Mancini!!


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30355
07/14/05 08:29 PM
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J Geoff Offline
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eek

Good point. Scratch that from the record! lol



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30356
07/15/05 08:52 AM
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Mario Puzo writing sex scenes with one hand? Now THAT's a gross vision eek


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30357
07/15/05 08:56 AM
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Plaw I've got it!

When you write your sex scene, there has to be some kind of back story about the difference between ---how should I say this --- the comparative sizes of Michael's masculine organ and Sonny's. Mike should have this inferiority complex because of the tiny size of his member, all of which explains his violent streak and love of guns....


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30358
07/15/05 08:45 PM
07/15/05 08:45 PM
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J Geoff Offline
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Very nice, Plaw! I finally read the first two chapters. tongue

I sure hope you like criticism, as I'm not one to hold it in if I feel it would be helpful to the other person to improve himself.

[And upon reading what I had written below, it seems I'm only pointing out the bad things. I actually like it more than it may seem by my comments! grin You are doing much better than most other fan fiction I've read.]


Okay, here goes...

As of yet, IMHO, it's not a sequel at all so far, but just extensions of the story as we know it. Such things, in sequels, are usually included as flashbacks. I can see what you're trying to do -- as Puzo did -- and I like the back and forth a lot. But so far, I'm reading these mini-chapters more as ideas than as a finished work.

I think you have some great ideas here, and successfully (most of the time) fill in many of the gaps we've wondered about all this time! I think your dialogue is actually pretty good, and I like your style, when it's clean.

I really think you would benefit from a plot outline. You should have some idea of where the story is going to head, and basically how it's going to end. After the outline is when you fill in the details. Think of the story arc, the protagonist, antagonist, climax, etc. All the shit I don't know about because I never took creative writing. But I'm sure that info is out there.

Your ideas are awesome, and there are many spots of brilliance mixed in there. But at this point, I'd like to see more character development. I know that we already know most of these people, but take note of how Puzo describes his characters -- enough so we can picture them in our minds. You need to do more of that.

I like to hear your casino expertise shine through in here, and I know you know it! But that blackjack explanation is too drawn out. I would think that a math prodigy would already know the basics of blackjack since he was 4 years old. And I think we readers know them, too. All of that explanation led up to card counting? I think we all know how that works. Also - did they only use one deck of cards back then as you imply?

Although I still haven't finished Winegardner's book, I'm one of the few here who doesn't think it's a total piece of crap. Winegardner is a professional writer with many years of experience honing his craft. While I admire your effort greatly, I will be honest and say that you have some more practice to do until you reach that point. Not just you -- any and all of us here!

And FS, of all people, is right: You have way too many run-on sentences -- full paragraphs containing just one sentence -- that at times makes it difficult to follow.

I know this is just a rough draft, and a first attempt at writing prose, but at some point you'll have to go back and check your: spelling (e.g., "Out side", "lurative"); typos (e.g., "make a clean breast of things" blush

But again, I think you're doing a great job overall. I, for one, am just not someone who calls a novice an expert before he's evolved into one. wink I'm certain you can, and will. And my comments are meant to help. So stop crying. lol

Now do my stats, bastid! tongue lol



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30359
07/16/05 01:19 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Most of your criticsm is well founded.

Just off the top of my head--

The Throop character is based on a real person, a math professor from (I think) M.I.T. by the name of Edward Thorpe, who was the first to really study the game of Blackjack, and wrote the seminal book on card counting, called "Beat The Dealer"

Up until that time (early 1960s), nothing provable was known about blackjack, basic strategy, or card counting.

So it's not like that stuff was out there in the first place. He really developed it all, including computer programs that played millions of hands to prove his theories.

As far as the plot goes--

I think there are a few obvious developments coming here--

--Throop taking Micke's casino for millions
--Some type of early planning for the later treachery of Don Altobello & Joey Zasa
--The Kay & Douglas relationship (see Chapter 3)
--Development of the Lucy & Vincent & Jules story
--Possible revenge of Willi Cicci

So far, though, I've been mostly just trying to answer some of the unanswered questions remaining from the novel and the trilogy, which I think have to be resolved before moving forward.

As far as the grammar goes, I don't think there are any legitimate run-on sentences. There are certain rules of grammar which make a sentence run-on or not, none of which I believe I've violated, although I will confess to not knowing exactly what they are.

But a sentence that is very long or the only sentence in a paragraph is not necessarily a run-on. Possibly difficult to read and a matter of style which the reader may not care for however, but not, as I say, necessarily grammatically incorrect.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30360
07/16/05 07:32 PM
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J Geoff Offline
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Okay, perhaps not technically run-on sentences grammatically, but I use that term in the sense that they run on and on and on (and on). lol wink



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30361
07/16/05 09:19 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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That's my windbag style. lol

Try reading something by Theodore Dreiser some day.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30362
07/16/05 09:59 PM
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Although I tremble to disagree with the great Don, I must side with Plaw here. While much of what you said is quite true, such as the typos and/or spelling errors (for example, is it Michelson or Michaelson?), but I have to stop you at the run-on sentences. I think that writing style is quite personal, and that creative writing is just that - creative. It doesn't always follow the very strict rules of grammar. For example, can you imagine an editor making a call, "EE, what is with the lowercase? It's just WRONG, and unless you start applying the rules of capitalization, you can shop these poems somewhere else!"

Now, Plaw, don't get your head in the clouds, I'm not comparing you to ee cummings, but I think that the hardest part of writing is finding your own voice. While PL's structure and style so far is evocative of Puzo's style, t's not imitation. And that's a hard line to straddle. I think that perhaps your sentence structure is your style and shoule be respected.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30363
07/16/05 11:48 PM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
much of what you (JG) said is quite true, such as the typos and/or spelling errors (for example, is it Michelson or Michaelson?)
Spelling and typos are the least of my worries.

According to Harlan Lebo, BTW, it's "Michelson:.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30364
07/17/05 01:25 AM
07/17/05 01:25 AM
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J Geoff Offline
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SB, my fellow grammar queen! That's not at all my issue. Hell, I use dashes -- all the time! -- and run sentences on over and over myself. But that's here, on a message board. My style is TOTALLY conversational. I write that way, too, even at the expense of some grammar and syntax rules sometimes. In conversation, it's not necessary all the time to be "proper"; in fact, it's discouraged.

But in writing prose -- and while a conversational tone is essential -- you need to have the words flow smoothly without straining the reader. That's my point.

It's like watching a movie: If you can tell there was an edit, it was a bad edit. Same thing in writing: if you can tell there's something awkward, there's probably something wrong.

That doesn't make it a bad movie or book; but, it's something that's just not right. And what's the opposite of that? Something better. wink

When it comes down to it, it's not a problem with the words themselves, but more about punctuation. 300 words with only commas -- while not necessarily incorrect, technically -- will not be conversational tone. Nor will it be easy to read or follow.

Any distraction noticed while you're reading is a bad thing. I'd rather have some poor grammar (albeit distracting enough!) than an awkward flow that makes you pay attention to the WRITING and NOT to what is being said.



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30366
07/17/05 09:53 AM
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plawrence Offline OP
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I have nothing but respect and admiration for any author who can commit some 200,000 words to paper while developing characters and a somewhat coherent plot.

And after trying it myself I can respect it even more, and would never dream of calling GFR a "total piece of crap".

That said, however, I think that the most legitimate criticsm that can be leveled at the book aside from the factual errors and some of the ridiculous actions attributed to the characters is that it just wasn't what we Godfather fans wanted.

I think we wanted a sequel that picked up the story where we left off and answered the questions which we wanted answered.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30368
07/17/05 10:34 AM
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plawrence Offline OP
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Believe me, I was the last one in the world who wanted to see the book fail.

I rushed out to buy it (along with many others here) the first day it came out, and read it just about straight through in as close to one sitting as I could.

I wanted nothing more than a satisfying and compelling sequel, and, along with most other readers, felt horribly short-changed and disappointed.

I also think that GF III, despite its many flaws, was a far better film sequel than GFR was as a book sequel. At least there was a certain continuity which Weingardner's book, for me at least, largely lacked.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30369
07/17/05 10:51 AM
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Partagas:
[QB] It seems as if everyone knew it would fail (if not wanted it to do so). [QUOTE]


Actually I had anticipated that it would be much better than it was. While I didn't expect a blockbuster like the original, I did expect a decent story. Unfortunately it did not even live up to a decent sequel. I was very dissapointed.

But in fairness to the author, critique from people like us is very tough on him. We here are basically Godfather "experts" and because we consistantly discuss the depth and the details of the movies we are pretty familiar with the timelines, etc. So when people like ourselves read Wiengardners GF Returns, we tend to pay a LOT more attention to detail, and that is why many of us here were somewhat dissapointed in his work.

Now take an average person from outside these boards who is just a regular GF fan, and ask them how they felt about the GF Returns and I'll bet that most would say that it was a pretty good read. They will probably feel that way because they, unlike us, are not paying attention to the little details and timelines, as the average reader would not be aware of the many details that we are aware of.

So in a nutshell people like us may have been too critical of him because of our continuing love for the Godfather and our continued pursuit of knowledge of the many inside details, while the average person not as knowledgable as us ( in regards to The Godfather ) would probably enjoy the book and be less critical.


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30370
07/17/05 11:25 AM
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OMG - JG - You called yourself a queen!! lol

I understand what you're saying. Since I have a teenage daughter, I'm used to doing serious proofreading, especially for run on sentences, which my daughter is quite fond of. I feel that a writer strikes on a style first, and grammar second. I think it's more important for PL to find his voice, which he is successfully doing, and then proofread later.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30371
07/17/05 12:57 PM
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Some of the greatest authors and writers are not so good with grammer, etc. This is why there are proofreaders and editors in the writing industry.

What's with all the grammer correcting and english lessons on here lately? I feel like I'm back in school again! eek lol

Keep on writing Plaw! Screw the grammer. The story is what really counts. wink

Imagine, our Don Malta, Da guy who talks lye dis mang! Da guy who amire Tony Montana all tru da coolege mang. Now giving lesson's on sentence structure and proper grammer. lol wink

ThEir and DefinItely! grin



Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30372
07/17/05 01:08 PM
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J Geoff Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Sicilian Babe:
OMG - JG - You called yourself a queen!! lol
The risk I took to not call you a king! grin wink

Quote
Originally posted by Don Cardi:
Screw the grammer.
Screw the spelling, too? lol
CoughgrammarCough tongue wink

Just messin' wink grin



I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! tongue lol

Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin

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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30373
07/17/05 01:13 PM
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JG - Actually, I prefer Goddess. wink


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30374
08/09/05 07:29 AM
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Any chance of an update? This is great!


"Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately..." wink
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30375
08/09/05 07:33 AM
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plawrence Offline OP
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I dunno...... ohwell

I got myself in trouble by trying to tie up too many loose ends and introduce characters from GF III, with no clear idea about where I was going with them, plot-wise.

I really have only one plot idea for the rest of the story which, in my mind, is not that interesting, and no way to tie all the characters into it.

But thanks for the compliment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it as far as it went.


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30376
08/09/05 07:39 AM
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Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
But thanks for the compliment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it as far as it went.
I confess I am not a regular reader, Plaw..... blush but the sex scenes related posts got me rolling on the floor laughing!!! lol lol


I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth (Blanche/A streetcar named desire)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30377
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frown frown Plaw, I know it was you that decided to stop writing. You broke my heart.


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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30378
08/16/05 10:57 AM
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To just come up with that on a wim, in my opinion is incredible.. PL you have all my respect for even trying and doing such a good job....I've tried to write short stories and I can't get past the first paragraph..it is a very hard thing to do to write something interesting, and I think you succeded in doing just that with even this ruff copy.........I don't know about everyone else, especially Dr. WFL, but I think you did an excellent job and I would have no problem buying the book if you ever finish it....
Keep it up smile cool cool cool


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DEATH TO ALL WHO BETRAY GIULIANO!
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30379
08/23/05 11:52 AM
08/23/05 11:52 AM
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Mignon Offline
Mama Mig
Mignon  Offline
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,054
OH, VA, KY
Plaw,

PLEASE KEEP WORKING ON THIS BOOK!!!!!


Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12


Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30380
08/23/05 04:26 PM
08/23/05 04:26 PM
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Peter_Clemenza Offline
Underboss
Peter_Clemenza  Offline
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I agree with Mignon. Your writings are very interesting to read, plawrence.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30381
08/23/05 07:22 PM
08/23/05 07:22 PM
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Posts: 111
Michele Corleone Offline
Made Member
Michele Corleone  Offline
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Posts: 111
I agree - I have missed plaw's postings. And you grammar tutors out there, please cut him some slack!


Christopher: Louis Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
Sal: LUCA Brasi, Luca.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30382
08/24/05 08:04 PM
08/24/05 08:04 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 11
A
Ameer Offline
Wiseguy
Ameer  Offline
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Wiseguy
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I ab-so-lute-ly love it. I love reading it, and hope to see more in the future; maybe you could put together the "unofficial Godfather 2.5" and get your name plastered all over the press as the one who compensated for GFR.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30383
09/02/05 12:16 PM
09/02/05 12:16 PM
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JustMe Offline
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JustMe  Offline
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Come on, Plaw! Stop reading Dreiser and write something more!


keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30384
09/02/05 12:39 PM
09/02/05 12:39 PM
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Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline OP
RIP StatMan
plawrence  Offline OP
RIP StatMan
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The Slippery Slope
eek eek eek eek

How did you know?

I swear, right now I'm just finishing re-reading An American Tragedy for about the fourth time.

Are you a Dreiser fan?


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30385
09/02/05 12:57 PM
09/02/05 12:57 PM
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Posts: 2,854
Milky Way
Enzo Scifo Offline
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Enzo Scifo  Offline
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Are you ever gonna work on it again?

Maybe you should tell that one future you have, and ask other boardmembers for help, plotwise. I'm sure interesting ideas can be found that way.


Quote
See, we can act as smart as we want, but at the end of the day, we still follow a guy who fucks himself with kebab skewers.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30386
09/02/05 07:27 PM
09/02/05 07:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 17,274
New York
Sicilian Babe Offline
Sicilian Babe  Offline

Joined: Aug 2002
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New York
Every time I see this thread resurrected, I eagerly open it in hopes that Plaw has started writing his sequel again, but, once again, my heart is broken. frown


President Emeritus of the Neal Pulcawer Fan Club
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30387
09/02/05 07:34 PM
09/02/05 07:34 PM
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Posts: 2,854
Milky Way
Enzo Scifo Offline
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Enzo Scifo  Offline
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Milky Way
Djeesh frown
I'm sorry I opened this thread again wink
I didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
grin


Quote
See, we can act as smart as we want, but at the end of the day, we still follow a guy who fucks himself with kebab skewers.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30388
09/02/05 07:44 PM
09/02/05 07:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 17,274
New York
Sicilian Babe Offline
Sicilian Babe  Offline

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New York
I forgive you, Enzo. It's Plaw that I can't forgive! lol


President Emeritus of the Neal Pulcawer Fan Club
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30389
09/02/05 07:45 PM
09/02/05 07:45 PM
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Posts: 19,054
OH, VA, KY
Mignon Offline
Mama Mig
Mignon  Offline
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
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Aww man I was hoping for another chapter. Come on Plaw. We want more. wink


Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12


Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30390
08/03/06 07:28 PM
08/03/06 07:28 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,224
The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
Caporegime
Don Cardi  Offline
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Ok Mr. Plaw, I think that it's time to revive this topic so that you can pick up where you left off in writing your GF sequel.

Now get to work. wink


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30391
08/03/06 08:09 PM
08/03/06 08:09 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,054
OH, VA, KY
Mignon Offline
Mama Mig
Mignon  Offline
Mama Mig

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Yea Plaw, you promised your favorite redneck an autographed copy. wink smile


Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12


Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30392
08/03/06 11:45 PM
08/03/06 11:45 PM
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Posts: 2,854
Milky Way
Enzo Scifo Offline
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Enzo Scifo  Offline
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Milky Way
It wasn`t that good, you know. wink

Seriously Plaw, it was good but you started out too overhasted. Like JG said, you should have thought your plotlines out, write these and in between use those fill-ins of Puzo`s work that you wrote now.

The thing that bothered me most in this story was also what bothered me in the modern GF II story. Too few Italians.

I know we all think of the GF as not just another Maffia story, but as more of a family drama, and so much more.
Nevertheless, the Maffia and Italian culture play a major role in it. I liked GF I, III and the flashbacks of II because of all the Italians. And while I could live with for instance Jews like Roth, ... because they were after all a big part of real-life organized crime, those lawyers and Britans really annoy me. Io volio Italiani! tongue And there were not enough of them in your fricking fairy tale Plaw! wink I suggest you introduce at least 10 new Italians, no wait, Sicilians, with really 'Sicilian' names. Just for the sake of them being Sicilian. cool Capice?


Quote
See, we can act as smart as we want, but at the end of the day, we still follow a guy who fucks himself with kebab skewers.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30393
08/04/06 01:08 PM
08/04/06 01:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,467
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline
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With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
PLaw, if you do not do this thing you will disappoint me, and you will make me angry.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins #30394
08/04/06 02:07 PM
08/04/06 02:07 PM
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Posts: 2,854
Milky Way
Enzo Scifo Offline
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Enzo Scifo  Offline
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Milky Way
And you know Plaw that Mister Tomasso is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. orange


Quote
See, we can act as smart as we want, but at the end of the day, we still follow a guy who fucks himself with kebab skewers.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Enzo Scifo] #345588
11/25/06 09:09 PM
11/25/06 09:09 PM
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
Caporegime
Don Cardi  Offline
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Several members here recently brought up Plaw's attempt at writing a sequal to the Godfather. So I have decided to resurrect this topic for those who are interested in re-reading the writings of Plaw, and also for those new members here who were not around when Plaw entertained us with his fantastic writing skills.


Don Cardi



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ginaitaliangirl] #345599
11/25/06 10:53 PM
11/25/06 10:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,357
Texas
O
olivant Offline
olivant  Offline
O

Joined: Feb 2003
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Texas
I once thought about a one act play: Vito comes back and talks with Michael (similar to the garden conversation), maybe the GFII Michael. "I never wanted this for you." Maybe it could be used as the segue to Michael's real or feigned epiphany that we see sort of in GFIII.


"Generosity. That was my first mistake."
"Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us."
"Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read."
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: olivant] #347491
12/03/06 05:07 AM
12/03/06 05:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3
sydney, australia
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ben114 Offline
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ben114  Offline
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Associate
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sydney, australia
Yes, I am new here, and I have been considering some sort of my own project based on the Godfather, but I didn't realise that not only were so many other GF fans around the world already so far ahead of me, but with (and i never doubted this) so much talent, you've done a great job. I really enjoyed reading those posts. Unbelievable talent.

EDIT: I just had a look in another thread.. I'm so sorry.. has this member of the postboard passed away.. I'm only new around here.. Please accept my apologies, I'm very sorry RIP

Last edited by ben114; 12/03/06 05:15 AM.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ben114] #347844
12/04/06 03:06 PM
12/04/06 03:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 11,797
Pennsylvania
klydon1 Offline
klydon1  Offline

Joined: Apr 2006
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Pennsylvania
Welcome, ben114.

I'm sure you'll find much around here that interests you.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Don Cardi] #347915
12/04/06 08:55 PM
12/04/06 08:55 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,357
Texas
O
olivant Offline
olivant  Offline
O

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Texas
Originally Posted By: Don Cardi
************************************


Anthony Corleone sat on the edge of his bed not knowing if he should be happy that he would finally be spending some time with his father, or be dissapointed that he could not spend the day fishing with his uncle Freddie. He had grown rather fond of his uncle. Ever since nonna Corleone had passed away, he and uncle Freddie had become rather close. Uncle Freddie had become like a big brother to Anthony, doing the many things with him that his own father never seemed to have the time to do. Why was it that his father was always away on a business trip? He once asked Michael this question, during one of the rare times that they were able to spend together, and his father's response to him was "I'm doing this for you, and your sister. Someday, when you are older, when this is all yours, and you have a son of your own, you'll understand." Understand what? Anthony had silently thought to himself. He wouldn't dare talk back to his father. Understand that his father never had the time to spend with his children? That his mother could only visit he and his sister in secret? What was there to understand? It was clear to him now that his father was not a "normal" father, like the other kids fathers were. So many times he and his classmates would be sitting at lunch, mostly boys, and they would exchange stories of how they had gone camping with their fathers, or played a game of catch. Anthony always refrained from joining in on the stories that the other boys shared. What stories did he have to share with the other boys? That his father had thrown his mother out? That one night some bad men came and shot up his house? How every night since then Anthony would have nightmares and wake up shaking? How he wouldn't dare go to his father for comfort out of fear that his father would consider him a coward? No, Anthony would quietly sit there listening to all the other boys, envying them, secretly wishing that his own father could be a "normal" father like the others. But now he had his uncle Freddie. At least now he could go to school and tell his friends how he had spent the day fishing on the lake, having fun. Maybe now he would "fit in" with the others. It was all he could think about as he was about to get into the boat with uncle Freddie. That was until aunt Connie called him back to the house. His father had decided that they would be going to Reno together. Uncle Freddie had a look of dissapointment on his face. But he and Anthony both knew that there would be no choice in the matter. They both knew that when Michael decided something, there was no refuting it. So Anthony unwillingly walked back to the house and prepared himself to make the trip to Reno with his father.

*****************************


And in the boy's peurile, yet subtle and complex mind, a far-ranging plan of action was being initiated that would retrieve his mother's honor and bring his uncle back from the dead.


"Generosity. That was my first mistake."
"Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us."
"Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read."
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #356638
01/13/07 03:53 PM
01/13/07 03:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1
Taranto
D
DonRubbsCorleone Offline
Associate
DonRubbsCorleone  Offline
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Associate
Joined: Jan 2007
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Taranto
I've meet Mario Puzo by person.
He is a good friend of mine

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: olivant] #377817
03/21/07 12:44 PM
03/21/07 12:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,467
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline
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dontomasso  Offline
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With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
 Originally Posted By: olivant
 Originally Posted By: Don Cardi
************************************


Anthony Corleone sat on the edge of his bed not knowing if he should be happy that he would finally be spending some time with his father, or be dissapointed that he could not spend the day fishing with his uncle Freddie. He had grown rather fond of his uncle. Ever since nonna Corleone had passed away, he and uncle Freddie had become rather close. Uncle Freddie had become like a big brother to Anthony, doing the many things with him that his own father never seemed to have the time to do. Why was it that his father was always away on a business trip? He once asked Michael this question, during one of the rare times that they were able to spend together, and his father's response to him was "I'm doing this for you, and your sister. Someday, when you are older, when this is all yours, and you have a son of your own, you'll understand." Understand what? Anthony had silently thought to himself. He wouldn't dare talk back to his father. Understand that his father never had the time to spend with his children? That his mother could only visit he and his sister in secret? What was there to understand? It was clear to him now that his father was not a "normal" father, like the other kids fathers were. So many times he and his classmates would be sitting at lunch, mostly boys, and they would exchange stories of how they had gone camping with their fathers, or played a game of catch. Anthony always refrained from joining in on the stories that the other boys shared. What stories did he have to share with the other boys? That his father had thrown his mother out? That one night some bad men came and shot up his house? How every night since then Anthony would have nightmares and wake up shaking? How he wouldn't dare go to his father for comfort out of fear that his father would consider him a coward? No, Anthony would quietly sit there listening to all the other boys, envying them, secretly wishing that his own father could be a "normal" father like the others. But now he had his uncle Freddie. At least now he could go to school and tell his friends how he had spent the day fishing on the lake, having fun. Maybe now he would "fit in" with the others. It was all he could think about as he was about to get into the boat with uncle Freddie. That was until aunt Connie called him back to the house. His father had decided that they would be going to Reno together. Uncle Freddie had a look of dissapointment on his face. But he and Anthony both knew that there would be no choice in the matter. They both knew that when Michael decided something, there was no refuting it. So Anthony unwillingly walked back to the house and prepared himself to make the trip to Reno with his father.

*****************************


And in the boy's peurile, yet subtle and complex mind, a far-ranging plan of action was being initiated that would retrieve his mother's honor and bring his uncle back from the dead.


The plan, which was the product of a vivid and troubled imagination first came to him when he thought about the Ressurection story at Easter time in his catechism class.
While his feelings about his father were conflicted, and while he suspected from the time they shot up his parents bedroom that his dad was mixed up in something dangerous, he did not fully comprehend the extent to which Michael had set his course toward a destiny that would repay him for his many sins.

His feelings for the people around Michael were also mixed. In addition to loving his nonno and uncle Freddie, and being somewhat afraid of Rocco Lampone and Al Neri, he didnt know what to make what to make of the distant and cold Tom Hagen, who had been so transparent when he told him the electric car was a gift from his dad. Anthony loved some of the others, most especially Frank Pentangeli. Back in New York, and in Tahoe, Frankie Five Angels was like a jolly uncle to Anthony. He taught Anthony how to drink water from a hose, and told him jokes and played tricks that always made Anthony laugh. He also taught Anthony about operas, something for which Frankie had a passion. Frankie would sing sections of the more famous operas to Anthony, and even got him to memorize a part of La Donn 'e mobile from Rigoletto. Frankie explained to Anthony that Operas were one of the great forms of Italian culture and that he should nevr forget that the among the greatest musicians were Italians. "They're stories, but the actors sing the parts instead of talking," Frankie told him. Then he would always add, "Tony if an orchestra doesnt have at least one Italian in it, its not really an orchestra!" Curious, Anthony would ask Frankie to tell him the stories of the operas, one of which was La Cavaleria Rusticana, in which the Ressurection scene was played out onstage.

Even as he was driving to Reno with his father in the silent car, the music Frankie had sung to him, in his gruff voice, turned sweet, and was of solace to the child. "When I grow up I want to see the opera," he blurted out to Michael who of course prommised him he would take him as soon as he had finished some business. Anthony didn't believe his father any more, but on one of her secret visits to the Tahoe compopund, Anthony, in a rare moment confided to his mother, Kay, that he wanted to see a real opera. After that, from time to time, Aunt Connie would give Anthony opera records she told him came from his mom...but not to mention it to dad.

In time, he forgot about the fantasy to bring Fredo back, and at age 13, when he and Mary found themselves shipped to New Hampshire and to an exclusive boarding school where his mom taught part time, he began to realize how much pain his father had actually caused. During his visits home all through school he enjoyed all the holiday festivities, and was heartened by the kindly way his step dad Douglas had treated him. Sometimes though he and Mary would talk of the good times in the Corleone family, and of the differences between the genuinely joyous Italian festivities they rmembered, as compared to the rather dry W.A.S.P. way things were done in New Hampshire.

Although Mary was never much of a student, a well placed endowment got her into a top notch photography school in Rochester, New York. Anthony, who excelled in academics and in music was torn between an offer extended from Julliard and acceptance to a pre-law program at The University of Pennsylvania. Oddly it was Douglas who persuaded Anthony to go into pre law, and later to begin law school at Penn by telling him "You've got great classical music there in Philly, and you are a short train ride from New York where you can get all the culture you want. Get the law degree, make money, and be a patron of the arts," he would say.

During those years Anthony became disillusioned with school and for three years he dropped out altogether. Kay, who was always supportive, allowed him to bum around Europe for this time, although she never learned that he had made a month long side trip to Sicily where he visited the town of Corleone and learned much of the family history from barkeeps and locals all too eager to recount the legends of "La Famiglia Corleone." It was there he learned for the first time that his father had spent more than a year hiding in Sicily, and that he had married a young girl who was blown up in a car. Although he went to the little bar her brothers had inherited from their father, he never disclosed to them who he was, or why he was there. To them he was just an American tourist looking for some adventure, and at one point they even threatened him about playinhg fast and loose with Sicilian girls.

He really had not thought about it much, but the idea of girls was not something that consumed him. He did not find them unattractive, and he had no feelings toward men, but still he knew there was something about his sexuality that was different than other guys he knew. It was a feeling of emptiness, and repulsion at any form of closeness -- a problem of alienation he would learn about many years later when he sought psychiatric help following Mary's murder on the steps of the Palermo Opera House.

During these years he traveled to Milano where he saw much of the Italan Canon at La Scala, to Germany where he saw the entire Ring Cycle, and to Paris, and even to Spain where he learned Zarzuela watching a family named Domingo performing in Barcelona. He was especipally taken by the talent of their son, Placido, who was about the same age as he, but with a talent he had never before witnessed. It was during this trip that he thought more and more about changing the direction of his life.

He did come home, and finished college at his mother's request, and went through two years of law school before he announced to Kay and Doug that he was dropping out and would enroll at Julliard. Kay allowed him to take classes there, but it was not widely known or discussed. Her mother's instinct told her this was the path he had chosen, and in a way it gratified her because it was so far reomved from the life choices Michael had made. The fact that he was leaving the law altogether made her believe that now there would never be any chance he would change his mind about all those bad years, and be persuaded to work for Michael.

It was in 1979 that Anthony and Michael received a letter out of the blue from their father...."My dear children, It is now several years since I moved to New York and I haven't seen you as much as I would like to......"

Anthony paused. He had visited his father two or three times in New York, never telling him he was at Julliard and leading him to believe he was in his third year at Penn law. The meetings were always brief, cool, and they never ventured beyond small talk. Anthony would always have some excuse not to stay for dinner, and ther was never a meeting between the two that lasted more than thirty minutes. Mary had always been closer, and despite everything, she still loved her dad. She spent several weekends at the apartment, going off to shop with aunt Connie, and having dinner with her father.

As he read the part in the letter entreating Kay to come to the Papal Honors ceremony, the idea hit Anthony like a thunderbolt.
He was immediately on the phone to his mother. "Dad wants you to come to New York with us....to see something the Church is doing for him." Kay told him it was out of the question when he said, "Mom, he wants you there because he wants some kind of forgiveness from you. You are the only leverege I have. You can convince him to let me follow my dream."

Kay saw immediately what Anthony was talking about, and when the invitation came to her and Douglas, she sent out an RSVP saying they'd be there. Douglas was phlegmatic about it, and believed Kay's sole motive was for Anthony. He never knew that there was a lasting feeling in Kay for Michael, and she never let on about it. After all, Douglas had been good to her and her children. He was a decent man who did not deserve such complication in his life.

Still, she deliberately arrived late for the ceremony.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #380493
03/31/07 11:51 AM
03/31/07 11:51 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,467
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline
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dontomasso  Offline
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With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
For Mary, the visit to Michael's apartment was a continuation of their reconciliation. When she was eight she was spending a weekend with Michael, who took her to the wedding of Clemenza's grandaughter, which he had quietly paid for in memory of his his father's Capo, and in the ways of being "made" his mentor. Clemenza's widow had been long dead, and his only daughter, herself widowed after he husband, a low level bookie failed to pay some shylock from another family money he owed. The poor woman had asked Michael to intervene and obtain justice, but he had refused. First, the hit had nothing to do with the Corleone business, and the debt this man incurred was somethinghe had done on his own, and without the knowledge of his wife, who would have gone to Michael for financial help in any case. Second, Michael was hardly in a positioin to get himself directly or even indirectly involved in some turf war that was of no concern to him for anybody. He was inching closer and closer to the legitimate world, and such a move would have been a stupid one no matter how you looked at it. Nevertheless, Michael always helped Clemenza's daughter out financially, and he was pleased to see that his granddaughter who had obtained a nursing license was marrying a middle class youn man of Italian descent, who had just passed his exams and had been hired by a large firm as a CPA. He could not help but think how proud Clemenza would have been to see the flesh of his flesh being fully absorbed into the American culture, and totally in the legitimate world. What Michael lacked in humor or compassion, he made up for in loyalty. Many of the old family retainers still counted on him for help, and he never refused. Enzo the baker's son had done well in high school, and when the time came Michael made a generous contribution to Brown University, where the boy was accepted on a full scholarship.
Likewise when a nephew of Frank Pentangeli ran into some trouble on a background check a major airline had done while considering hiring him as a pilot, Michael made sure that a few calls were made to the right people which resulted in his getting the job and a good living. He never asked for returns of favors such as this, he simply saw it as an extension of his father's generousity to those who had shown their loyalty over the years.
This wedding was going splendidly, and Michael took real joy in seeing Mary tasting, for maybe the first time, the foods and deserts he had grown up with, hearing the music he had heard so often at the old Corleone family parties, and otherwise being among old school paisan who were slowly but surely realizing the American Dream. It was ironic, he thought, that the mere passage of time had allowed the descendants of so many footsoldiers to become "legitimate" yet how difficult it was for him to make the same leap. The diaspora caused by Michael's taking out the heads of all the families became a blessing to many of their relatives, and Michael was well aware that names like Tattaglia, Cuneo, Barzini, even Brasi now graced the letterheads of law firms, stock brokerages and medical practices.
These thoughts were interupted when Michael heard the girlish squeals of Mary and several other pre-teens as they were drawn to a lone fifteen year old who had suddenly appeared at the wedding party. Mary didn't know who this young man was, and she didn't even really understand the feeling she had when she saw him, and perhaps if Michael had a window into Mary's soul on that day, he would have taken better care to insure that she would not have met him nor talked to him that day or any other.
After all Michael knew very well who this handsome young tough was. He went by the name Vincent Mancini.

Later that evening Mary had gone to bed, and Michael was in his study, shuffling papers on his desk, and procrastinating doing what he dreaded the most...trying to get some sleep. The telephone rang, he answered it and he heard the news from a low level associate in a real estate firm in Vegas. The sale of the Tropicala had not gone through. A group of investors whose identities were thenn unknown had bankrolled the erstwhile buyer to purchase a rival hotel with the promise that it would be remodeled and "put the Tropicala to shame." It left Michael the owner of what would soon be a second rate casino. Johnny Fontaine and his associates were no longer the draw they used to be, and Michael's aloofness had kept him from widening his circle of friends in the entertainment business, or for that matter any business.




It was almost ninety degrees in the middle of December 1972 in West Palm Beach, where B.J. Harrison, Esq. was tanning himself when a butler brought and plugged in a telephone near thje chaise lounge where he was lying. "For you sir. I believe its the call you'd been expecting." Harrison waved off the servant and picked up the phone. On the other end, Santo Trafficante, from Tampa, was nervously telling Harrison about a "rat" whom he believed was someplace "out west," and who was talking too much about what Trafficante simply called "The Dallas Thing."

To the world, B.J. Harrison had burnished his image as a brilliant criminal defense lawyer, a playboy, a socialite, and overall publicity hound. His picture regularly appeared in GQ, Esquire, W and various tabloids either standing outside some courthouse with his newly minted "Not Guilty verdict" or entering high society fundraisers donning a tailor made tux, with this starlet or that model draped on his arm like some trophy he'd just been awarded.

This was the public B.J. Harrison. In truth the personna of B.J. Harrison was a complete fiction. His birth name Benjamin Jacob Horrowitz had disappeared from all public records, the work of his grandfather the late Hyman Roth. Raised by Roth's nephew in Hollywood, Florida, B.J. attended catholic schools, often driven back and forth by none other than Jimmy Blue Eyes, an older hit man in the Roth family. The back story they created was largely based on the true story of how Tom Hagen came into the Corleone family, was generally accepted, and as he grew older more embellishments, and changes to his background both in public records and through articles in the press, not to mention from his own mouth had created a public figure, who, like Poe's purloined letter, allowed his true identity to remain hidden the more the spotlights shone upon him. The creation of "Harrison" had been Roth's idea. Believing that no Jew could gain full acceptance into American society, Roth had decided to raise the brightest of his eight grandchildren to become one of the "goyim" while all the time having intintimate knowledge and command over his operations. After his death, the family was shattered, but they continued with the plan.
The shooting of Roth, and the subsequent expropriation of his vast gambling interests in Havana by Fidel Castro had left the family nearly broke. Filling the vacuum was Trafficante, who restored Roth's nephew, Jake Horrowitz, married to Roth's daughter, and a brilliant accountant in his own right, to a reasonably high position of power, but at a heavy price. Terms of peace between the Roths and the Corleones was a deal breaker. It has been a bitter pill for his "father" to swallow, but for him Hyman Roth was nothing more than a shadowy memory who meant nothing. If he had to do business with the Corleones, so be it.

"I think I know who dropped the ball here, B.J., and I think you need to talk to Michael Corleone to make sure this thing doesnt get out of control." "I'll see what I can do ." Harrison said and he hung up the phone. Harrison pushed a button and almost instantly the butler reappeared. Speaking as if he was asking for a glass of water Harrison instructed, "Check the weather in New York, pack me bags for a three day stay. The usual suite at the Waldorf, call my pilot and tell him to have the plane ready in an hour. Book my regular table at 21 for 10 tonight, and put a call into whats-her name -- you know the blonde on Park Avenue, let her know I'll be in town. The butler acknowledged his charge, and Harrison picked up th telephone, this time to call Franlkin Dewhurst, the senior partner in one of New York's most oldest and most prestigious firms, Dewhurst, Dunlop and Lohan ("DD&L"). Harrison handled all of their clients' white collar crime cases. D&L would never soil its hands with criminals, at least not directly. No one knew that in exchange for this exclusive relationship Harrison kicked back 15% of his exhorbitant fees to DD&L. DD&L's impeccable reputation as the premier WASP firm in New York not only opened any door DD&L wanted opened, it also had on its client list the names of those who so badly wished to be a real part of DD&L's world -- its highest paying client being one Michael Corleone.

It was not yet noon,, and Tom Hagen was pouring his fourth scotch. His son, with whom he was never close had gone to live in a seminary, he and his wife had a loveless marriage once she found out about his mistress, and his relatioinship with Michael had almost become nonexistent since Michael had moved back to New York. Still up until recently Hagen had remained a major player, operating as a negotiator among the various cna changing circles of power in the underworld, serving as the Corleone's attorney in Vegas" and sitting on two or three boards of directors, along with holding a majority interest in a State Chartered Bank. In '62 and '63 Michael had dispatched Tom to Tampa to "make some arrangements" with Santo Trafficante. Specifically Michael had told him "do what he asks, but I dont want to know about it. The Corleones must have no part in what he is doing, but we need him to keep the peace with the Roths, and he is useful to me in some other ventures." Tom had done as he wasa ordered, but in late '63 when he returned to Vegas the contacts with Michael were fewer and farther between. The only assignment on his plate was to unload the Tropicala for a decent profit, and now he'd blown that. When he learned about how he'd been out maneuvered he threw back a fifth of scotch, and was in no condition to call Michael with the news. When he awoke the following morning with a searing hangover, he drank more to steady himself, and make the inevitable call, but now it was Tom's phone that was ringing.

"Tom why do I have to hear about your fuck ups from real estate agents?" It was a familiar and unwelcomed tone of voice. "Mikey I was just going to call you." "Are you drinking Tom?" "No Mike, ...well just one before I was going to call you." "Tom I want you to get it back on track. I dont care how you do it, but you make this sale go through. After that, Tom I want you here. I want you in a hospital, and I want you to dry out." These were not suggestions, they were orders. "Mikey it was one screw up...one...after all these years, please Mike youve gotta understand." "Ahhhh one mistake. You want to tell me one mistake Tom? You want to talk about Sonny, or Kay's abortion, or Geary? You want to talk about how I almost went to prison because you didnt figure out they had Pentangeli?" There would be no argument this time. Tom knew he had failed Mike for the last time. "Tom you will always be my brother. I want you to close out this deal and come back east where you can get some help. Sell what you have out there and bring Teresa here. You'll have a good life in New York, and whatever else because of what we've been through you are still the only one I can talk to freely."

Tom felt somewhat better, and became determined to get it together and do what Mike asked. Perhaps a move back east and an easier lifestyle was what he needed.

Mike put the telephone down. He was sorry for Tom, but still he was angry that he had screwed up this deal. It wasnt so much that he'd lose money, that bothered him it was that ownership of the casino was holding him back from realizing his plan to go completely legitimate. A moment later the phone rang again. It was the doorman of the building telling him a courier had a private message at the frint desk. "Send someone up with it."
When the elevator opened, and the envelope was handed to him Michael thanked the man and went back to his study where he examined the embossed DD&L Logo on the fine paper which also bore his name in perfect palmer method script. He opened it and read the brief handwritten letter. Dear Michael, Our mutual acquaintance B. J. Harrison will be in town for the next three days, and he requests about an hour of your time. You may contact me to make arrangements, or you may call him at the Waldorf any time after the start of business tomorrow as wyou wish. Cordially, Franklin Dewhrst."



"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #387832
04/23/07 01:35 PM
04/23/07 01:35 PM
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Michael quickly wrote a note to Harrison and summoned a courrier. "Take this to Mr. Harrison at the Waldorf." The courrier obliged, and went immediately to fulfill his task notwithstanding the hour. The note read " My apartment, 10:00 am tomorrow, -- Michael Corleone."
Harrison may be a big time lawyer,but Michael Corleone wasn't going to meet him or anyone like him on any turf but his own. Dutifully Harrison appeared at the appointed time and place. After exchanging pleasantries they went into Michael's office to talk.

"Mr. Corleone I know what happened in Vegas. The Molinari family on the coast along with some associates in Detroit along with some investors from Mexico bankrolled a Nevada Corporation which essentially forced your hand to keep the Tropicala."

"Whats their motive?" Michael asked.
"They want you in gambling, and they want you in the business you are in. With all due respect Mr. Corleone, Tom Hagen made it easy for them to pull this one off."

Michael sat silent.

"Now I have a plan, Mr. Corleone, that will get you out of the casino business altogether, and which will allow you to start on the path to legitimacy."

"Why would you care about this?"
"Sir, its this simple. I have accomplished everything I ever set out to do in the legal world. I have fame, and I have reapect. Besides, I don't intend to work for you for nothing. "

Nearly three thousand miles away it was quarter past seven. Hagen stumbled from his bed, and Teresa barely moved. He put on a bathrobe, and went to the basement where he unlocked a cabinet.

He withdrew a 12 gauge shotgun from the rack, loaded it, put both barrels in his mouth, and using his toe, squeezed the trigger.

Within a half hour Michael got the news. Harrison had just left, but his proposal to replace Hagen struck him as ill timed. Something was not right about this "suicide." He picked up the phone and dialed Al Neri's house. "Al, Mike...Tom Hagen is dead. Theyre calling it a suicide, but I dunno. I want you to go to Vegas and see what you can find out. Give Teresa whatever assurances you need to...tell her the family won't forget her or their son, and find out what happened.

It was late in the afternoon Las Vegas time when Neri got to the Hagen household. Teresa seemed oddly unemotional when she showed him in. "Michael Corleoe sends his condolences, and wishes for you to know that if there is anything you need, he will provide it."
"Thank you Al, that is generous of him given what's happened with Tom over these years."
"Why did he do it? Was it because of the Tropicala thing?"
"He has been drinking heavily for years now, and I just don't know what drove him to it."
"Is there anything .... a letter or a diary that might shed some light on this?"
"He kept his papers very private, and I never really looked. They are in his study, go have a look."
Neri excused himself and went to the study. Papers were piled all over the desk in such a disorganized way it was no wonderHagen, sober or not could accomplish anything. An envelope caught his eye. The return address was that of a well known publishing house in New York and shoved into it was a letter.
"Dear Mr. Hagen:
Thank you for your recent submission of your novel "The Consigliere." While we read it with great interest, we do not feel a first person account of the lawyer for a crime family responsible for the major events you describe is something in which this firm has interest. We encourage you to try with another publisher."

Neri carefully folded the leter and put it in his pocket.
He stayed on in Vegas for a few days, helped with funeral arrangements, Tom was to be cremated, and his ashes placed near Vito Corleone's grave (Momma's ashes had been interred there years earlier after the family funeral ceremony in Tahoe and Michael saw placing Tom in such hallowed ground would earn the loyalty of an un and coming priest whose help he might need some day. With some help, Neri got the Hagen house sold, and made arrangements for Teresa to move back to New York, where she had family, and where she would be closer to her son who was finishing a Doctorate in Church History at Georgetown, and who was then scheduled to be ordained.

It didnt' take more than two days for Michael to get his hands on the book Hagen had submitted to the publisher, and he was incredulous that Hagen would so casually break the oath of Omerta, even under the guise of fiction. He rationalized that it was the booze, but the fact remained that now two of his "brothers" had tried to betray him. He caled Harrison, who by then was back in Florida.

"I've thought about your offer. I'd like to talk some more."
Harrison was pleased and he was eager to please. "I can tell you something about Hagen," he said, "He was peddling some kind of tell all book, and our friend in Tampa found out about it."
"I know all of it already," Michael said, even though the final piece of the puzzle was news to him.

So there it was. Someone had blackmailed Hagen with his book, forced him to allow the Tropicala deal to tank, and literally drove him to his death. It was information Michael would keep to himself for a very long time.

______________
SICILY 1981
______________


After Mary's funeral in New York, Michael returned to Sicily with the intention of never returning to the United States. In short order he let go of Hasrrison, and on his own he negotiated the sale of all his interests in Immobiliare and invested it conservatively in Mutual Funds, in Europe and the United States. He remained a wealthy man, but he was more aloof than ever. Connie would commute between New York and Sicily, and when she wasn't there Michael lived with a cook, a gardner, and a medical aide who took care of his diabetes. He had few visitors. Occasionally Don Tomassino's widow would invite him for supper, but he always declined. Still, from time to time she would send him trays of food, for which he always thanked her in writing. Andrew Hagen, now a Monsignor assigned to one of the more powerful Cardinals in the Curia came to visit for a week, but it gave Michael little cheer. Never one who had any hobbies or interests outside his work, Michael spent his days gazing out over the landscape, sometimes walking to the local village to buy fruit, bread or wine, and then meandering back home.

He read the International Herald Tribune, the Times of London, the Economist, and Opera News, to follow his son's careeer. After taking off almost a year, Anthony mounted a comeback, but he was really going no where. He did not get into the companies of the Met or La Scala, and the best he could do was play minor characters at second tier opera houses in the U.S. and Europe.

Against Michael's advice, and Michael's telling him the promise he would never lift a finger to help him, Vincent Mancini returned to New York to carve out a niche for himself living "the life." He was reasonably successful with numbers and prostitution, but with the advent of State Lotteries, and the sexual revolution still in full swing, sex and gambling things were no longer forbidden by society as they had been in his grandfather's day, and so, to continue making a living he succumbed to dealing drugs. Even that was doubly dangerous because not only did he have to watch out for law enforcement, but he had to hold his ground against the ever powerful emerging cartels from Colombia and Mexico.
He would send Michael greetings for his birthday and for Christmas but Michael had not written him back.

On a brisk November afternoon, Michael was coming home from one of his walks when he encountered the local postman approaching his house.

"Don Corleone, ecc' una littera per voi"
Michael took the envelope and thanked the postman.
He rubbed his thumb over the fine grade of paper and he noticed the perfect Palmer cursive address. He had not seen this handwriting since 1979.

He tore the envelope open:

Dear Michael:
I really don't know where to begin. The things I said to you after Mary died are inexcusable, and if you never speak to me again I understand. I was in so much pain then that I never took into account how this affected you, but a week ago Connie called, we had lunch and she told me you had become a recluse.

You may have heard -- I don't know -- Douglas died of a massive heart attack about a year ago. He left me with a handsome life insurance policy, and with the money I got from our divorce, I am doing well financially, but like you, basically I am alone.
My parents are gone, and Anthony travels so much I rarely get to see him.

I have gone back to teaching part time just to fill the hours of the day, but in the evenings, when it is supper time, I feel so alone, and I am sure for you it is even worse. I try to keep active by doing volnteer work, and I go to Church events, but nothing fills the hole in your heart that the death of a child leaves. I have spent much time in counseling, and it has been of some help, and I do know this: tearing yourself apart for such a tragedy does no good whatsoever.

Connie says you refuse to leave Sicily, you rarely see anyone and
you hardly ever respond to anything outside your world. You know, Michael in spite of everything I still care for you, and I want you to to do something to restore yourself. You have a brilliant mind, and for all the bad you did, your foundations and your other endeavors to be legitimate showed us all of your capabilities and talent.

I know that neither COnnie nor I want you to wither away, but more important, I tell you that this is not the way Mary would want you to act. So please, Michael, if for nothing else but for Mary's sake, re-join the world and try to get back what you can of what you lost.
Love,
Kay.

For the first time in his life Michael Corleone doubled over sobbing and weeping.







Last edited by dontomasso; 04/23/07 03:12 PM.

"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #391336
05/07/07 12:58 PM
05/07/07 12:58 PM
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New Hampshire 1982

"How many years ago was it when we walked down this same street?"
" Thirty ...maybe more. Thank you for seeing me, Kay."

"It is I who should be thanking you for coming. You know, Michael, I always condemned you for the life you led, but really I enabled you. I profited from it, I lived the good life, and
I got used to it. We gained from blood, and we lost blood for it all, and now we have nothing left but each other. That's why I wrote to you."

"I've forgotten how beautiful it is here. Right here in New Hampshire where we shared all of our idealistic dreams, where I thought I could break away from my father and live my own life. But it wasn't my desitny Kay, and it wasnt our desitny to live longer than one of our children."

"Michael you've given up. You can't hide in Sicily forever beating up on yourself for whats happened. I know you have liquidated everything, and I know you have forsaken business of all kind, but you have a great mind, and you still have time to have more of a life than you have. I want to be a part of it again Michael."

Michael sighed and took Kay by the hand. "So maybe my destiny is not as dark as I thought.



"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: DonRubbsCorleone] #394548
05/20/07 07:03 PM
05/20/07 07:03 PM
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DE NIRO Offline
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 Originally Posted By: DonRubbsCorleone
I've meet Mario Puzo by person.
He is a good friend of mine


was . a good friend of yours.


The Mafia Is Not Primarily An Organisation Of Murderers.
First And Foremost,The Mafia Is Made Up Of Thieves.
It Is Driven By Greed And Controlled By Fear.

Between The Law And The Mafia, The Law Is Not The Most To Be Feared

"What if the Mafia were not an organization but a widespread Sicilian attitude of hostility towards the law?"

"Make Love Not War" John Lennon
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #396485
05/29/07 01:55 AM
05/29/07 01:55 AM
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Made Member
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Made Member
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Posts: 168
This may be a good end for Micheal's life as we expect, but not a good end for GodFather trilogy. We need something thrilling and different.


One has only one destiny, he cannot choose it.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #456675
12/09/07 09:30 PM
12/09/07 09:30 PM
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Sonnyboy Offline
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Hello Plawrence

i just reading your little book, great work man! wow i enjoyed it. I must agree with Don Cardi you really got something there my friend. i have written over ten screenplays, but I would never touch Puzo's Godfather story ever.

And to The Dr who fixed Lucy, your right about weingardne it guts to write the godfather books. But i must say your also right about connie. And i myself would never have touch the godfather. I first read the book when i was 14yr old when I first pick it up I read the whole book though the night finished the next day. When i started to read the gother returns and the godfather revenge it was way off. but keep writing.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Sonnyboy] #456682
12/09/07 09:41 PM
12/09/07 09:41 PM
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 Originally Posted By: Sonnyboy
Hello Plawrence

i just reading your little book, great work man! wow i enjoyed it. I must agree with Don Cardi you really got something there my friend. i have written over ten screenplays, but I would never touch Puzo's Godfather story ever.



Plawrence is dead.

http://www.gangsterbb.net/threads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=166252&page=1#Post166252


How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin

When there's a will...put me in it.
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Sonnyboy] #456686
12/09/07 09:46 PM
12/09/07 09:46 PM
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The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
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 Originally Posted By: Sonnyboy
Hello Plawrence

i just reading your little book, great work man! wow i enjoyed it. I must agree with Don Cardi you really got something there my friend. i have written over ten screenplays, but I would never touch Puzo's Godfather story ever.

And to The Dr who fixed Lucy, your right about weingardne it guts to write the godfather books. But i must say your also right about connie. And i myself would never have touch the godfather. I first read the book when i was 14yr old when I first pick it up I read the whole book though the night finished the next day. When i started to read the gother returns and the godfather revenge it was way off. but keep writing.


Obviously you are new to these boards and probably was not aware that our dear friend Plawrence passed away over a year ago is no longer physically with us here on earth. I revived this topic when he passed away because he was well loved by many on these baords and as you saw here had a fantastic ability to write.

I am sure that if he were still alive and active on these boards he would have appreciated the compliment that you have paid to him here in this topic.



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Don Cardi] #456693
12/09/07 10:19 PM
12/09/07 10:19 PM
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Sonnyboy Offline
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I will say a prayer for his soul. He was a fine good writer. Thank you for telling me this Don cardi and Beth E.

But Dontomasso please keep writing,it's real good.
I will stay in touch.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Sonnyboy] #472516
02/13/08 03:14 PM
02/13/08 03:14 PM
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New York 1984.

Because of his diabetes Michael had not touched a plate of pasta, a canolli or even a slice of sausage for years. Tonight was going to be an exception. His personal cook, who kept him on a strict diet had the night off, and Connie prepared a five course Sicilian dinner for Michael, Kay, Anthony and herself. After Mary's death, Conie had returned to New York and took up residence in Michael's oulent East Side Co-Op. She servd dutifully on the Boards of the various foundations the family had founded, and, as ever, she grew into the position in ways no one ever expected. She became well versed in ivestment strategies, and she would often challenge the "experts" the foundations had hired about the management of the endowments -- and to their chagrin she was usually more astute than they. In one of his very rare communications outside of Sicily, Michael, who always reviewed the financial statements of the foundations had written Connie a brief congratulatory note, saying, "Of you, Santino and me, you're by far the best Don since our father."

Kay and Michael had spent most of their time in New York since their reconciliation. She had persuaded him to get counseling for his grief, but he never really bought into it, so it didn't do him much good. If anything, it made Kay feel better, and in turn that allowed her to become more open and forgiving with Michael, and that assuaged some of his pain.

Tonight Anthony would be joining them for dinner, and Michael was looking forward to a quiet family dinner. He arrived
at 8 and after a glass of wine the four of them, Connie, Mike, Anthony and Kay quietly went into the dining room.
Over the first course, calamari sauteed in olive oil and garlic, Anthony staryed to say something but then stopped short.
"What is it Tony," Kay asked softly. "Nothing...it's..."
"Your career," said Michael with a tone of sympathy and understanding that surprised Anthony.
"Since Mary's death I can hardly control myself when I get near an opera house." Kay reached over to him and patted his arm.
Connie looked at Michael, "Isn't there something you can do to help?"
"This isn't the time or place Connie, but later Anthony, if you like we can talk. "
Kay quickly interjectd "Michael is right."
There was an awkward silence for a moment, but it was broken by Michael telling Connie how much he liked the Calamari. "These are every bit as good as what we get in Sicily." This broke the ice somewhat and as the remnants of the once great Corleone family moved from one course to the next talking about food, the old days, and each chose to remember selectively the good times and the warmth they had alll shared.
As they were beginning desert a butler appeared in the dining room holding a wireless telephone. "Mr. Corleone, I am terribly sorry to interrupt your dinner, but this is urgent." Michael gestured and the servant brought the phone to him.
"This is Michael Corleone"
There was an interminable pause. Micheal said a weak thank you, handed the phone back, sighed and slumped back in his chair.
"What is it?"
"Its Vincent. He was shot an hour ago in front of his club in Little Italy. He's in the hospital. It doesnt look good."
Istantly COnnie stood up. "I'll go. Kay, you and Michael stay here and I'll call. Anthony...
"I'll go with you Aunt Connie."


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #472838
02/14/08 03:43 PM
02/14/08 03:43 PM
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Vincent lay comatose, in critical condition for nearly ten days. He was hit by fifteen bullets in a drive-by, and no one was sure who did it. When he died, Michael gave the order to have his remains cremated and interred near the Corleone monument where Vito, Mama and Mary were buried. After the services, which were sparsely attended, Connie gave a quiet recption back at the apartment. Michael assured Lucy Mancini that he would see to it that she would be financially secure for life, and the rest of the family offered their condlences.

A couple of days went by when Michael received a telephone call from B.J. Harrison in which the lawyer explained that he had been contacted by a man claiming to be Connie's son, and an associate of Vincent's. "Keep it to yourself for now," Michael told him, and see if you can hold him off for a couple of days."
"Hold him off?"
"Yes, he'll want a meeting, and I need to find out about a few things."
Michael lost all interest in the street business since Mary's death, leaving it entirely up to Vincent. He still shared in the profits, and although he knew Vincent's business was drugs, he really didn't care. The years he had spent in Sicily gave him a sense of personal security because it was widely accepted
in Cosa Nostra circles that Michael was out of their business, and for all intents and purposes was a civilian. By no means was this sense of safety born of naivete, and Michael knew well that the old families had long been infiltrated by Clombians and other non-Italians, and the old codes of omerta, honor and respect no longer held sway. He knew if a debt was not paid, if a deal failed to materialize, or even if some grudge went on too long that anything could happen. Wives and children were no longer off limits, nor were people who cooked books and made court appearances, regardless of the fact that they were not on the "muscle end" of things.

As he sat in his study a sense of rage that he had not experienced in years began to come over him. He summoned a maid and told her to find Connie and tell her he wanted to see her in his study right away.

"Did you know your son Victor was working with Vincent?"
"It's not your concern, Michael."
"Then why did he contact my lawyer?"
Connie was stunned. Michael's tone and fierce stare reminded her of how cold and remote he was as a younger man.
He went on. "You live here in my house, and your son, who has a long prison record is dealing drugs on the street and you say it doesn't concern me?"
"Michael I'll take care of this."
"No you won't. You can't it's me he is approaching, and it's me he'll want to deal with. You've never controlled him, and I have no reason to believe you can control him now. I'm gonna take care of this, and I just hope it doesnt pull us back into anything illegal."

Connie left the room quickly, and Michael picked up the telephone and placed a call to Al Neri who was living in Las Vegas.

"Michael...its been a long time. I heard you and Kay got back together and your living in New York, is that right?"
"It is Al, and I hate to interrupt your retirement, but I need a favor."
"Anything Michael, you know that. Is it connected with that Mancini business?"
"Al, apparently Connie's boy Victor was working for him. They were into dealing drugs, and I turned a blind eye. Now he's made contact with my lawyer and no doubt wants a meeting. Do you still have any contacts on the street?"
"Some Mike, not like the old days, but I can always call in a favor."
"Good. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to find out all you can about Vincent and Victor. Who they sold to, who their suppliers were, what they deal, and who provided their muscle. And I want you to do it in a way that draws no attention to you so no one can trace any of this to me. I need the information in two days."
"I'm on it Mike."
Neri put the phone down and plopped himself on to a sofa. His back was hurting like hell, and he thought again about the botched disc surgery that had left him barely able to walk. He'd grown old, sick and soft, and he didn't have the confidence in himself that he had just displayed for Michael. For about an hour he sat thinking about how he could best serve his old boss, and protector, when sudenly it came to him.

"Michael you haven't said a word during dinner...are you alrght."

"Yes Kay, I was just thinking about Mary, about us."
"Oh Michael, you have to try to move forward."
"I know Kay, I know."
"Michael why was Connie so upset earlier?"
"I dunno Kay....something to do with Vincent I think."


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #523160
12/04/08 03:10 PM
12/04/08 03:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,467
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
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Consigliere to the Stars
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With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
CARTAGENA COLOMBIA

Richard Williams arrived at the bar in the El Convento hotel at 6:00 p.m. about fifteen minutes early. He had flown in from New York on a morning flight, checked into the hotel, enjoyed a leisurely lunch of arroz con coco washed down by a Cerveza Aguilla. At about four he went to his room, took a nap, showered, and changed his clothes in preparation for the meeting. At the bar, he ordered a mojito.

At 6:15 sharp, Ernesto Diaz-Granados entered the bar and shouted across the room "Reechard!" Williams turned around and warmly greeted the rotund drug lord from Medellin as if they were long lost brothers. Diaz-Granados was a firm believer in being so outgoing and garrolous that no one would suspect what he was really up to. He often said he never understood why the Sicilians were so furtive when they did business, and he firmly believed one of the reasons his operations in New York were so succesful was that what is obvious is oftern harder to see than what is hidden. His only quirk, it seemed was that he never used telephones, and would only discuss business, even in the most oblique terms one on one. He sat down next to Williams and ordered a mojito.

Williams got to the point immediately. "The business in New York is completed as planned," and our friends in Grand Cayman say everything was wired after things were confirmed. Pulling two Cuban cigars from his guyabera pocket he offered one to WIlliams and simply said, "Bueno." They both lit up and enjoued a few more mojitos, never discussing any more business. They didn't have to. Vincent Corleone, who'd managed through sheer toughness and cunning had not only kept them out of Brooklyn, he managed to comromise their operations throughout New York using contacts in the police department, and, they suspected well placed spies who would now have to be dealt with.

They left the hotel around eight and took a cab to the Club de Pesca for dinner. At an outdoor table off to the corner, they resumed talking business, but in a way no one, not even a DEA aganet would suspect a thing. Diaz-Granados first asked about "the cousin." "We arranged for him to call the uncle's lawyer, so the uncle and the aunt must know by know
he was involved.
So far the plan was working. With Vincent out of the way Diaz-Granados and his partner Williams could now move in on the territory. Neither of them believed Michael Corleone would
lend his support to his sister's son, given the elder's well known desire to keep himself out of street business, and by having him call Harrison to tell him he had been deeply involved in Vincent's operation they knew the messages they wanted to be delivered had reached the top of the food chain. of course what Harrison could not have known was that Victor was reading from a script Williams had given him, and that while he was talking he had a gun pointed to his head.

"When do you go back to New York, my friend?" I'll stay here in town through the weekend, do some diving in the Rosario Islands, see the fort and do all the tourist things in the old city. This pleased Diaz-Granados because he thought it gave Williams more cover to appear as an American tourist
and not what he really was.

"And you Ernesto?" "I'm at the Hilton. Flying back tomorrow. There's no need for us to talk untill I see you in New York next month when we can take the next step. "Which day?" "The fifteenth. Same time. I think I'd like something to go with my cocktails at the oyster bar at The Plaza."
They shared a cab that took Williams back to El Convento and Diaz-Granados to the Hilton, on the other side of town.






















"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: dontomasso] #525917
12/23/08 11:35 AM
12/23/08 11:35 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 11
Right here!
Pacinofan08 Offline
Wiseguy
Pacinofan08  Offline
Wiseguy
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Right here!
I enjoyed reading all of this smile

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #532905
02/25/09 01:46 PM
02/25/09 01:46 PM
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I'm new here and was glad to find a place to discuss these films> Godfather I and II are excellent films, and as I get older, I appreciate them even more.
I like what you have written very much.
This may have been addressed here, but how is your story being protected from others that may steal some or all of your story?

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: DE NIRO] #558179
10/20/09 11:12 PM
10/20/09 11:12 PM
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Australia
M
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Mickey Meatballs
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Originally Posted By: DE NIRO
Originally Posted By: DonRubbsCorleone
I've meet Mario Puzo by person.
He is a good friend of mine


was . a good friend of yours.


He was a good friends of ours.

And damn, Plawrence, i didnt think fan-fiction could be so good; that really is art. I actually feel bad now for not having known you; the outpouring of grief and emotion when you passed was evident that you were a "man of respect", but this is a legacy of yours that has inspired me, and something i myself have respect for and will remember as your gift. RIP, and rest easy, mate.

Its like Puzo with a thread of originality runnning through it, like its Puzo's son or nephew or something. it sucks that i didnt read this thread much earlier. I am considering printing this up all nice for my own future enjoyment when and if it gets done (obviously with full accreditation to all writers, of course!) And its made me want to return to work on my own gangster/family epic, though im hard pressed writing at that calibre with the stage of skill im at currently.

Don Tomasso, keep going, dude, keep it up. I like what your doin' man, i think its cool.


Last edited by Mickey_MeatBalls_DeMonica; 10/20/09 11:46 PM.

(cough.)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Mickey_MeatBalls_DeMonica] #559678
11/07/09 10:10 PM
11/07/09 10:10 PM
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Holy shit this threads a year old.


(cough.)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ginaitaliangirl] #573437
05/08/10 10:22 PM
05/08/10 10:22 PM
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Guys, check out James Caan's live web cam chat at Openfilm.com, May 20th 12 PST.

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Mickey_MeatBalls_DeMonica] #573441
05/09/10 09:54 AM
05/09/10 09:54 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 8,224
New Jersey
AppleOnYa Offline
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Originally Posted By: Mickey_MeatBalls_DeMonica
Holy shit this threads a year old.


Actually, it's nearly 5 years old and the originator is deceased.

While it's great to revive & keep it going every so often, it might also be a good idea to check it out from the beginning so that much of the interesting input can be appreciated.

Apple

Last edited by AppleOnYa; 05/09/10 09:55 AM.

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.

- THOMAS JEFFERSON

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: AppleOnYa] #573629
05/12/10 08:23 AM
05/12/10 08:23 AM
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It was of course not my intent, but it is my sincere hope that i have not offended any with seemingly insensitive or presumptuous post's.

In regards to this thread in particular, I recognised that a well respected member of the GangsterBB Community had passed on and i made a misguided attempt to proclaim my own admiration for the man's fiction. Misguided because my klutzy speech gave the impression that i was trying to make out that i actually knew the man, Mr. Plawrence, rather then simply pored over his GF fan fiction. For those that saw my post's & comments in bad taste, i have to apologise. I would hate for people to think that i was attempting to equate any of my own feelings with those of whom really knew & lost that person.

In fact i have read the whole thread, and i was/am remarkably impressed & entertained by the collected posts of some very talented posters. Forgive me for not paying closer attention to the actual date of the post before throwing in my own 2cents, change we probably could've done without, in retrospect.


(cough.)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: Mickey_MeatBalls_DeMonica] #573660
05/12/10 12:50 PM
05/12/10 12:50 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 8,224
New Jersey
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Hi, Mickey...you'r'e a good guy.

In return, please know my post wasn't intended to come across as 'scolding' you (which I have no place doing here anyway), but more building on your revelation that the thread was at least a year old.

Plawrence had several close friends on the BB and I should admit I was not one of them. However, I am fairly sure (and hopeful) that none of those individuals was offended or insulted at your dialogue 'with' him. In fact, if I had been a friend I would consider it a compliment to his memory that new members continue to contribute to threads that he initiated!!!

Take care, look forward to chatting w/ you about many things, including the pros/cons of GFIII !!!

AppleOnYa

Last edited by AppleOnYa; 05/12/10 12:55 PM.

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.

- THOMAS JEFFERSON

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: AppleOnYa] #573823
05/15/10 10:56 PM
05/15/10 10:56 PM
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smile Wow. Thank you, AppleOnYa. That is like, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me over the internet.

There really are some tops people & minds on this board. I wish id found it years ago.


(cough.)
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ginaitaliangirl] #579780
08/25/10 03:46 AM
08/25/10 03:46 AM
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UK
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cheaper dvd
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I like this film-godfather.Psychological warfare acted almost be perfect.
additional,I recommend a web ,we can buy some cheaper DVD,they're genuine and high quality.

Last edited by SC; 08/25/10 03:52 AM. Reason: Edit spam
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ginaitaliangirl] #579854
08/25/10 11:34 PM
08/25/10 11:34 PM
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"I just finished reading this, and I must say, fabulous work!"

Yes, the story is pretty impressive and interesting, i love the story and love reading it.


Last edited by J Geoff; 09/27/10 11:54 PM. Reason: No spam
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: ginaitaliangirl] #587312
12/04/10 08:35 PM
12/04/10 08:35 PM
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Great Stuff!!! Could definitely be an official sequel. with all the intelligent (and plausible) ideas from some of the more studied Godfather fans on this site, this could really happen. Bravo! This story (so far) is now cosidered Canon in my own Godfather world


"I Miss People, I Just Don't Remember Who They Are"

S.D.'99
Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #588826
12/21/10 04:12 AM
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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: thenewyorkdon] #588827
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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: thenewyorkdon] #588830
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Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #599455
04/08/11 09:18 AM
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Thank you very much.



Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #602132
05/05/11 07:32 AM
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wow !!! whens your book coming out! You have the flow of philip carlo, easy to follow and detailed, more more!

Re: My Godfather Sequel....Chapter 3 begins [Re: plawrence] #617018
10/10/11 07:28 AM
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thanx for sharing.............

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