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Question for those that have children-- #922542
11/05/17 11:27 AM
11/05/17 11:27 AM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 479
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Aces Offline OP
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You grow up in a middle class, blue collar neighborhood, perhaps even under middle class.
Your parents raise you correctly, teaching you about respecting teachers, cops, and elders. They teach you the value of hard work and sacrifice as well as the importance of education. You have a job during high school and you graduate and either go to college or work. You meet a nice girl, get married and start a family. Times are tough in the beginning but you finally save enough for a down payment for a small house in a nice suburb that has a low crime rate and good school system unlike the less desirable town next door.
After a few years you find out the state is consolidating school systems so now your children will be going to school with those in the other town which has a high crime rate and high teen pregnancy rate.
You work hard every day and you work equally as hard trying to instill the value of hard work, family values, respect, and education in your children where the majority of your current neighbors are like minded.
Now your children are exposed to children that dont come from families with strong values, respect, and hard work. They come from families where the only adult in the home is a mother who is taking care of 3 or 5 children who may be from different men. They will also be exposed to gang activity and other criminal and immoral behavior ( having kids at 16 ).
Before i get labled a racist, which im not, ask yourself this: what would you do if a high crime school district was merging with yours? Didnt you work hard so you can afford to raise your children in a safe environment? Isnt this the reason we work hard and try to lift ourselves both socially and economically? Are we now being punished for all of our hard work? Is it fair that we do things the right way and be penalized for it?
I dont want my children exposed to the nonsense that many inner cities bring. If i did, i would choose to live in the inner city.
The main question is this ? Why should i pay for the sins of an irresponsible parent who makes irresponsible decisions?
I also dont want to penalize their children for the mistakes of their immature/ irresponsible parent. I donate money either through church or taxes those that are less fortunate.

Last edited by Aces; 11/06/17 05:31 PM.
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #922616
11/06/17 01:49 PM
11/06/17 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: Aces
You grow up in a middle class, blue collar neighborhood, perhaps even under middle class.
Your parents raise you correctly, teaching you about respecting teachers, cops, and elders. They teach you the value of hard work and sacrifice as well as the importance of education. Who have a job during high school and you graduate and either go to college or work. You meet a nice girl, get married and start a family. Times are tough in the beginning but you finally save enough for a down payment for a small house in a nice suburb that has a low crime rate and good school system unlike the less desirable town next door.
After a few years you find out the state is consolidating school systems so now your children will be going to school with those in the other town which has a high crime rate and high teen pregnancy rate.
You work hard every day and you work equally as hard trying to instill the value of hard work, family values, respect, and education in your children where the majority of your current neighbors are like minded.
Now your children are exposed to children that dont come from families with strong values, respect, and hard work. They come from families where the only adult in the home is a mother who is taking care of 3 or 5 children who may be from different men. They will also be exposed to gang activity and other criminal and immoral behavior ( having kids at 16 ).
Before i get labled a racist, which im not, ask yourself this: what would you do if a high crime school district was merging with yours? Didnt you work hard so you can afford to raise your children in a safe environment? I dont want my children exposed to the nonsense that many inner cities bring. If i did, i would choose to live in the inner city.
The main question is this ? Why should i pay for the sins of an irresponsible parent who makes irresponsible decisions?
I also dont want to penalize their children for the mistakes of their immature/ irresponsible parent. I donate money either through church or taxes those that are less fortunate.
Very,Very well thought out & written..I could'nt have said it better myself..I have these thoughts myself everyday.


I didn't want to leave blood on your carpet...
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #922647
11/06/17 09:09 PM
11/06/17 09:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
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"Because everybody needs a chance... Bla blah blah." You can't punish the kid for the parents mistakes. Fuck that. I don't work hard to support other people's kids. Down here in Florida, they do one even better than a merge. They take x amount of kids from an underprivileged district and swap them out with kids from a better district. Bussing em in and bussing them out. That was back in the 1990's.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924370
12/09/17 02:00 AM
12/09/17 02:00 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 868
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Hookup, I've said before, we can sort it all out immedietly....baby license

Every male baby gets a reversible sterilisation, when he meets up with a female, they apply for a baby license, then we assess finance, mental health etc and it's reversed for one kid.......save billions!

I always get hit with the hitler arguement....nonsense.. child poverty would end within a decade

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924623
12/13/17 02:21 AM
12/13/17 02:21 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,401
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Footreads Offline
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when I was a kid I saw rebel without a cause. I thought why are they fighting they have it all. House, car kids went to a nice school. None of them had any idea what tenement life was about. I did because that is where I came from.

I will answere from my perspective. Teach your children to defend themselves as soon as possible.

Germany is ok. But since they have open borders the bad guys are moving their in droves. Their kids do a lot of crime and they don’t respect women and they hate cops. It like a sanctuary city but it’s a country.

You can not protect them so they have to be able to protect themselves.


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Footreads] #924624
12/13/17 05:22 AM
12/13/17 05:22 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 1,106
Novi Sad,Serbia
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Originally Posted By: Footreads
when I was a kid I saw rebel without a cause. I thought why are they fighting they have it all. House, car kids went to a nice school. None of them had any idea what tenement life was about. I did because that is where I came from.

I will answere from my perspective. Teach your children to defend themselves as soon as possible.

Germany is ok. But since they have open borders the bad guys are moving their in droves. Their kids do a lot of crime and they don’t respect women and they hate cops. It like a sanctuary city but it’s a country.

You can not protect them so they have to be able to protect themselves.


What was tenement life like Foots?

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924625
12/13/17 05:46 AM
12/13/17 05:46 AM
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Posts: 4,401
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Footreads Offline
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No one had any money. So we did not even know we were poor. The neighborhood was crap, but we were fairly happy there. You could by a small pizza for 25 cents and a large pie for 50 cents. But who had that kind of money. Rent was 25 to 30 dollars a month. A lot of people bored the money to pay the rent interest Vig was 5 percent a week. After you paid it you still owed what you bored. You better have it or at least call and make arrangement to Pay.

If you didn’t someone would pay you a visit to your home. They would ask your wife for the money. Then they would leave with your living room lamps. Still don’t pay they come with a moving truck and take your furniture. Still don’t pay they would fuck your wife if she was nice in place of the vig. Still don’t pay they would turn your wife into a whore at 5 dollars a pop until the money was paid.

If you were an old women big Sam with slap her around.

I ran away from home at 11 to get away from a father who loved to hit his wife and kids.

Summer slept in Jefferson Park. Winter slept in the iron place barn. Place was full of rats. Same place joe Valachi slept when he was a kid.

Stayed away until some one murdered Daddio. Someone hung him then I went back home to try and help my older brother and my Ma.

After Daddio dead she did not want to live anymore. She actually loved that idiot. He made sure she was dependent on him for everything.

Loved that place as a kid still do


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924630
12/13/17 06:56 AM
12/13/17 06:56 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 1,106
Novi Sad,Serbia
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Wow Foots thats good and sad story. What other neighbourhoods in NY where that poor?

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924637
12/13/17 08:27 AM
12/13/17 08:27 AM
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Footreads Offline
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Little Italy was like that


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Footreads] #924640
12/13/17 09:19 AM
12/13/17 09:19 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 1,106
Novi Sad,Serbia
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Originally Posted By: Footreads
Little Italy was like that


Any place in Brooklyn?

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924832
12/16/17 06:51 PM
12/16/17 06:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,841
OC, CA
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The answer: Either private school or homeschool your children.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924845
12/16/17 10:11 PM
12/16/17 10:11 PM
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Footreads, your post is the kind of post that keeps people interested. I would like to hear more.

How old are you? I'm 53. The prices I remember (25k for a house, about a quarter for a gallon of gas I think) are much higher than what you experienced. I'm guessing you're older than me.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924847
12/16/17 10:49 PM
12/16/17 10:49 PM
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I have a kid who has been in and out of jail for the last two years. He's almost 21 now. Until a few years ago he was a nice kid. He started hanging out with a few thugs and now he is a thug. He has been arrested for breaking into cars and recently breaking into a store.

A few weeks ago he disappeared with my wife's car. I called the police, and he was caught leaving a a drug house that they were watching already. I pressed charges and now he's in jail again. This will be his fourth felony. I try to be positive when I visit him, but I honestly don't know if he has any chance of a decent life. I'm considering dropping the charges, but I don't want him back in my house.

I would appreciate hearing any suggestions. My best idea now is to leave him in jail. That's the only place I've seen him improve.

If anybody here has a similar experience, I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.


Thanks.



Last edited by dl; 12/16/17 11:05 PM.
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924853
12/17/17 06:53 AM
12/17/17 06:53 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,401
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Footreads Offline
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My youngest son was a wild kid. Hung out with the wrong people because he thought everyone is his friend.

That changed when he found BJJ. He never liked my sport soccer. But when he found That sport a 1 v 1 sport. Everything changed for him. He got his black belt from one of the Gracie schools here. He started to teach at their school in Manhattan. There were two other schools within walking distance. He taught in them all at one time or another. He wound up Marrying a student at the last school. She is a medical doctor. Then he found his team in construction he has no fear of heights and loves working outside even in this weather.

It took him a long time to get where he wants to be and do. But I don’t have to worry about him any more. The other three are successful but they are always divorcing their spouses they can’t stay married.


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924870
12/17/17 03:58 PM
12/17/17 03:58 PM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 4,461
Green Grove Retirement Communi...
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Green Grove Retirement Communi...
Originally Posted By: Aces
You grow up in a middle class, blue collar neighborhood, perhaps even under middle class.
Your parents raise you correctly, teaching you about respecting teachers, cops, and elders. They teach you the value of hard work and sacrifice as well as the importance of education. You have a job during high school and you graduate and either go to college or work. You meet a nice girl, get married and start a family. Times are tough in the beginning but you finally save enough for a down payment for a small house in a nice suburb that has a low crime rate and good school system unlike the less desirable town next door.
After a few years you find out the state is consolidating school systems so now your children will be going to school with those in the other town which has a high crime rate and high teen pregnancy rate.
You work hard every day and you work equally as hard trying to instill the value of hard work, family values, respect, and education in your children where the majority of your current neighbors are like minded.
Now your children are exposed to children that dont come from families with strong values, respect, and hard work. They come from families where the only adult in the home is a mother who is taking care of 3 or 5 children who may be from different men. They will also be exposed to gang activity and other criminal and immoral behavior ( having kids at 16 ).
Before i get labled a racist, which im not, ask yourself this: what would you do if a high crime school district was merging with yours? Didnt you work hard so you can afford to raise your children in a safe environment? Isnt this the reason we work hard and try to lift ourselves both socially and economically? Are we now being punished for all of our hard work? Is it fair that we do things the right way and be penalized for it?
I dont want my children exposed to the nonsense that many inner cities bring. If i did, i would choose to live in the inner city.
The main question is this ? Why should i pay for the sins of an irresponsible parent who makes irresponsible decisions?
I also dont want to penalize their children for the mistakes of their immature/ irresponsible parent. I donate money either through church or taxes those that are less fortunate.


You may have to work harder to move to an even better neighborhood, where your kids will be in a good school, or so that you can send your kids to a private school. That's life.


"...the successful annihilation of organized crime's subculture in America would rock the 'legitimate' world's foundation, which would ultimately force fundamental social changes and redistributions of wealth and power in this country. Meyer Lansky's dream was to bond the two worlds together so that one could not survive without the other." - Dan E. Moldea
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: dl] #924890
12/17/17 09:59 PM
12/17/17 09:59 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,841
OC, CA
Faithful1 Offline
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Originally Posted By: dl
I have a kid who has been in and out of jail for the last two years. He's almost 21 now. Until a few years ago he was a nice kid. He started hanging out with a few thugs and now he is a thug. He has been arrested for breaking into cars and recently breaking into a store.

A few weeks ago he disappeared with my wife's car. I called the police, and he was caught leaving a a drug house that they were watching already. I pressed charges and now he's in jail again. This will be his fourth felony. I try to be positive when I visit him, but I honestly don't know if he has any chance of a decent life. I'm considering dropping the charges, but I don't want him back in my house.

I would appreciate hearing any suggestions. My best idea now is to leave him in jail. That's the only place I've seen him improve.

If anybody here has a similar experience, I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.


Thanks.




I'm a year older than you, dl, and have some experience that I won't get into now. My thoughts on what I would do in your situation would be to look for your son's long-term best interest. If he keeps on skating by on life without facing the consequences, then he probably won't learn life's lessons. He may not learn them anyway, but there's a chance he could at least learn that if you're going to do the crime then you have to realize you deserve to do the time. Slaps on the wrist to unrepentant criminals almost never end well. They just get worse because they realize they can get away with it. In other words, I suggest that you do not under any circumstances drop the charges. Be a parent, not a friend. He's obviously not being a friend to his mom and dad. If he does learn the lesson and changes his ways in the future, you can invite him back like the Prodigal Son.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: dl] #924914
12/18/17 10:37 AM
12/18/17 10:37 AM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,401
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Footreads Offline
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Originally Posted By: dl
Footreads, your post is the kind of post that keeps people interested. I would like to hear more.

How old are you? I'm 53. The prices I remember (25k for a house, about a quarter for a gallon of gas I think) are much higher than what you experienced. I'm guessing you're older than me.


76 and still kicking my brother is 80. No one own a house then even the mob guys lived in those tenements.

I bought my first house in Brooklyn for 42 thousand it was a two family house already had a tenant. Through him out a year latter he filled the basement with his shit. I saw it recently it was falling apart they wanted 600 thousand for it.

He has a 23 old son. So he was born when my brother was 57. Haha

My brother always ask me for money as a loan. Never paid me back.

That’s why we still talk he needs me. He always thought his shit doesn’t stink. He graduated college and I got thrown out of HS in my senior year.


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924961
12/20/17 11:34 AM
12/20/17 11:34 AM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,513
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When I was a kid i did some things...similar things...and my father pushed me further into it, until the point when i felt disgusted and started fearing for my life and guess what?! I stopped my activities and from that point on everything became normal. I dont recommend my father's tactics, but it helped me once. Obviously he knew his own child and also knew how to act, meaning everyone should know the inner state of his kid and take a specific action. Beatings, quarrels, or anything violent or any other "Nazi" tactic usually end up with the creation of a monster or a downfall looser. Dont get me wrong, sometimes few slaps in the face can save your kids life but it should be done in the right time and at the right age.

Btw private school is great but you also have to give additional schooling at home, regarding the streets, so your kid wont get "busy". I mean there's not even one school in the world that teaches our kids not to mess around on today's streets and what is the real danger and what are the consequences, which should be repeated every day, over and over, until it gets cemented in their minds... but instead they force them to learn about faked history rolleyes


He who can never endure the bad will never see the good
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #924985
12/20/17 07:11 PM
12/20/17 07:11 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
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Sum up....Aces original point is...he's a good man and tried his best and his kids, but they need to/end up mixing with assholes...that's the way it is (and it's not good).

Faithful's advice is the best in his last post there, I'm sure you know Aces, and sometimes it's good just to hear/read it eh.

Aces, I really do feel for you my friend, I hope you get things sorted

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Faithful1] #925219
12/24/17 08:43 PM
12/24/17 08:43 PM
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Faithful1, Thank you for the response. At this point I'm trying to work out a deal where the charges are dropped if he works and goes for his GED. Most of the time I'm ready to watch him on the street with a cardboard sign asking for food, but when I see him in jail I just want to help. I suspect that's typical.

I'm planning to drop the charges and see what happens. I'll get him a moped so he has transportation. The next time he gets arrested, I won't be able to help.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #925231
12/25/17 02:10 AM
12/25/17 02:10 AM
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My youngest son was more like me then any of my other kids. He did manage to get his GED.

On hitting your kid my Daddio gave me a lot of beatings as a kid. After a while you can become immune to it. Ever see how ISIS men teaches their little kids? They do the same shit to them they beat the crap out of them. Until they think it is nothing. How can they treat people in a normal way after going through something like that.

Now I am a liberal when it comes to hitting kids and talking down to their kids. If I see it on the street I would tell their parents to stop it. If they don’t I would show them exactly what it is like by doing that to them. I am not talking about a shot on the behind if they just step into the street without holding the hand of the parent.

When my Daddio did it to me as a 5 yr old. I remember crying and laughing at him at the same time to show him he could not hurt me. I can’t cry anymore since those days. When my wife’s mother died she was crying after she got the telephone call. I knew what it was about but I am not capable to comfort her because of my past. She was serving us a the dinner table at the time. You know what I said. I told her I know your mother is dead right now pass the veal.

I know I am fucked up to do that. But I don’t feel things like normal people feel things.


only the unloved hate
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #928023
01/29/18 11:13 PM
01/29/18 11:13 PM
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I bailed him out a week ago. Big mistake. Next time (I'm out of town, and I've been told that he's trying to steal my car) I'm letting his sit in jail.

Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: Aces] #928721
02/07/18 01:15 PM
02/07/18 01:15 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
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I was schooled with knackers (Irish travellers) for the first 3 years of my education, big smelly pikies who used to fight everyday in the yard. War would break out between the knacks and the settled people.

My folks got me out of their when the realised what a hole the place was and I educated in decent schools from there on.

In Ireland private education can be quite expensive.

Last edited by sbhc; 02/07/18 01:17 PM.
Re: Question for those that have children-- [Re: sbhc] #928857
02/08/18 06:48 PM
02/08/18 06:48 PM
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n.e.philly
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Originally Posted by sbhc
I was schooled with knackers (Irish travellers) for the first 3 years of my education, big smelly pikies who used to fight everyday in the yard. War would break out between the knacks and the settled people.

My folks got me out of their when the realised what a hole the place was and I educated in decent schools from there on.

In Ireland private education can be quite expensive.

Knackers?..My parents are from Co.Mayo & Donegal, Where r u from that this kinda thing went on? I wish my parents were still around,I'd ask them about it.


I didn't want to leave blood on your carpet...

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