Rewind. Stop. Eject.

Last year, Brad and Melanie moved in as my new neighbours.
They've been dating for 3 months and decided to move in together for a while before getting married. (which turned out to be a wise decision)

Anyway, I talked to Brad last night, and he told me that he and Melanie are history :

The thing is that Diane, a very good childhood friend (female) of Brad, came back to the U.S last month and they met a number of times, much to the dislike of Melanie.

One time he had coffee in her house, and Melanie exploded when he came back home. He told her that he and Diane have always been close friends, and just because they meet each other, it doesnt mean they have anything 'romantic' going on. He told her "I love you Melanie, ONLY you"....but that was 2 weeks ago, and they didnt argue about it since, Brad thought she understood. She didnt.

Last night : Brad and Diane decided to meet again before she leaves back to France in 2 days. They went to the movies.
Here's the "transcript" of last night according to Brad :

Brad : Melanie, Im back.

Melanie : Yeah, I heard your message in the answering machine. You went with HER again!to the MOVIES!!!I thought you already have a girlfriend, what am I, a SPOON????!!!

Brad : Wowwww...calm down, I told you shes a FRIEND, not a GIRLfriend, would you be so upset if I went out with Phil instead? No,right? Well, Phil AND Diane have been my best friends ever since I remember myself, and thats not going to change---you're being unfair!

Melanie : Oh please, you can go on and ask any person you want if its normal for someone to go see a movie with another WOMAN when he already has a WOMAN!! Wake up Brad!!

Brad : What are you talkin about??shes leaving to France in 2 days.....

Melanie : Well best hurry up so you could catch the next flight. YOU CERTAINLY MADE YOUR PRIORITIES SO FAR. Im not hanging around here as your sidekick Brad. ITS OVER!!!!

Brad : How can u say that????!!!!after all our history together???HOW CAN U SAY THAT!!!!

Melanie : History???How dare you talk about our history after what you just did to our relationship?? No, Brad. Rewind. Stop. Eject. Take our movie back to the Blockbuster. Its overdue.

>>>>Melanie left the house with 2 bags already packed. - She must've packed them after hearing his message in the answering machine.

Well, thats about it.

I really dont know what to think about it, is it really considered "wrong" to have friends of the other sex, or are you supposed to let'em go once you find a spouse?

I know I will never let my friends go. I mean I have a group of friends, we are basically 6 males and 4 females, all of them I consider Brothers and Sisters. So how hard is it going to be to find a girlfriend who wouldnt mind me visiting my female friends ?
I dont see why I can keep my male friends and tell the female friends bye bye just because they're females.

Friendship has nothing to do with gender.

Your thoughts ?

Fame!
How nice tsee you again!
BTW how's Debra?
I would never mind anybody's friends. I have many friends myself, of all three genders . And there are married couples. None of them feels jealous, but what is important is that I'm a friend to both in couple, and was so before they married, so there's no misunderstanding of this kind. I suggest that before your relationship takes any serious turn, you'd introduce her to your company, so that they'd become her friends, not strangers.
I agree that friendship has nothing to do with genders!

Damnit, I thought this thread was going to help me get that porno tape un-stuck from my VCR.

Hi JM! Nice to see you too!

What is the 5th word in line 12, page 35 of The Godfather novel? (dont go looking JM, I know you know the answer! )

Debra's ok, I'll let her know you asked about her!

Thanx for replying, I can finally read what youre saying without being afraid of getting shot...now that you took those pistols down -Just kidding, that was a nice avatar, as is the new one, Autumn is my favorite season for writing poems....inspirational season.

Double J, just screw the damn VCR! (I mean literally )

As far as I remember, it was "the". Or was it "a"?
JM says hello!
You know, mine too. Early autumn, especially. Glad you liked the pic!

See, going to movies with the opposite sex is a little bit unorthodox in my opinion if you have a partner. You can arrange to take along your partner as well though. But going to lunch is all right IMO.

It is all right to have friends from the opposite sex, but you should be more thoughtful of your partner's feelings. Going out to movies with someone from the opposite sex other than your partner and just the two of you doesn't sound right to me.

They've only been dating for 3 months? Sorry, but I'd show her the door if she had a problem with my life-long friends.

3 months before they moved in together. They moved in last year.
His best friends are Phil and Diane. Of course, she never had a problem when he went to the movies with Phil, so there were no problems during the last year, but when Diane came back to the U.S.....she cant accept the fact that he spends time with another woman.

Afsaneh : If im not mistaken, I think you once said that the only man you're going to be with - is the man youre going to marry.
Does that mean that in Iran, it is not acceptable to switch boyfriends, or even have boyfriends ?
do women usually choose their husbands in Iran, or is the family doing match-making ?

I don't clearly remember saying that, but it is pretty much along those lines, I don't mess around unless there is a good chance that we end up together, that we know each other well enough to take it to the higher levels.

But that's not how everyone is. It really depends on your family values and where you're from, a large city or a small town. Here there are boys and gals that switch boy/girlfriends, there are others who sit for family matchmaking.

Sex out of wedlock is commonly unacceptable, moving together is almost out of question, while going out, for dining or going to movies is all right.

And honestly, I've not seen one soul that I really like and he likes me back too. So, I'm still looking.

What happens if you find the perfect guy....but then you find out that he cant stand Mozart ?

Fame, Perfect Guy implies Mozart.
Afi, I'm still looking too, but you only imagine - my P.G. will have to appreciate also Schubert, Bach, Beethoven, Chopin, Rachmaninov, and and and...

Then he isn't perfect in my opinion! See, there are just way too many criteria for a guy to get pre approved. :p

Fame, Perfect Guy implies Mozart.
Afi, I'm still looking too, but you only imagine - my P.G. will have to appreciate also Schubert, Bach, Beethoven, Chopin, Rachmaninov, and and and... [/b][/quote]I only like Fur Elise of Beethoven from all of his compositions I've actually listened to. Mozart is the guy in music and many other things for me. There is not a close second.

BTW - My fav is Ravel.

Is that good enough ?

So JustMe and Afsaneh, first one to post "yes" - I'll marry her.

Sorry hon! I guess I'm way too old for you, so is JM!

So thats why I need 2!
Its done then, you 2 go get your dresses and stuff, I'll see if I can get 2 rings for a cheaper price!

OMG!! Hey what do you say JM? Can we two get along? :p

We'd play Mozart's simphonies in 4-hands layout! That'd be great. Only Fame may find that we don't need him... :rolleyes:

Oh, yeah. Imagine all those concertos for two pianos. He might actually move out after a few days hearing us play together because someone is playing out of tune!

Fine! you dont want me thats fine, I will survive, you 2 can go back now to watch "Desperate Housewives".

Besides, I was only kidding anyway, my true love is TIS !!

I think she is definitly over reacting
but I can sewe why she would be upset because who knows that they are n't doing anything romantic.....but it also depends on their whole situation like if he has screwed her over or if she has so it's hard saying from somebody that doesn't even knows these people and doens't know their relationship but just from hearing the conversation she's nuts and he's probably better off without someone like that....but who am I to say that? A spoon???



Joe BAtters

We blew it JM! That's why we're still single. :p

Poor Mozart.
Don't be desperate, Afi. Our confederation has bright prospects.
Did you hear that Al is an avid fan of opera?

Oh, yeah. But I thought you were the one giving me that link. I'm almost turned off by him.

AFS--Ok, just trying to get a better understanding here. You said that moving in with someone who you aren't married to is typically unaccepted. When you say unaccepted, do you mean by your family or by the government in general? If the government, could you honestly be arrested for having sex before marriage too?

Well, I just spoke to Melanie. She's basically saying what she told Brad, how it is wrong, and that a man should have 1 woman in his life. But she also told me shes thinking of giving him a 2nd chance, after all.

Anyway...

JM and afs...you were saying I'm too young for you ???

If you add your ages together...you would still be younger than Al.

Yes, if the government finds out you'd have to marry each other or else which you don't want to know what that is. Plus, it is not an acceptable thing to do for most part in our family tradition. It is way too liberal to happen here say for another 50 years.

No, you'll not be arrested if you have sex out of marriage, but it is again not acceptable by our family traditions.

I don't know, a woman is never too young for a man.

Ok, best of luck to you, try and be careful tho not to ask him about his business...not to drive his car...and not to take his kids away from him


Afs - About family rules - are there also killings in families over such matters of "Family Honor" ?
Say for example, if someone married a christian woman...should he fear his life? will ppl from his family, or from other families will try to kill him because he destroyed the "family honor" ?

The government wouldn't go further than Islamic laws and in Islamic laws a Muslim man can marry a woman from another religion. But for a Muslim woman to marry someone out of her religion the man should convert. People often don't care. They just pretend their husband has converted. It is more of a formality and is the result of having a theocratic government. People's honor is intact if they married to a believer or a non-bliever.

1) What would you say is the percentage in Iran of the non-religious folks ? Lets say for example afi, from your family (including uncles etc) - how many are religous and how many are not ?

2) What about clothing ? do you have to wear a veil ? can you wear a mini-skirt and walk the street without getting into trouble? or undershirt? You know, just in general tell us what you can about the clothing.

Ok, please forgive me for the stupid questions, but its better to ask than to remain ignorant

I really can't give a number. Here as far as government business goes you must have some religion whether you are Muslim, Christian, Jewish, etc. I'm Muslim by birth certificate, but that's as far as it goes. I'm much interested in Christian religion. In our family it is much the same. I've actually some atheist family that are considered Muslim by birth certificate. (Birth certificates here have to indicate your religion)

But generally younglings are less religious and Iran's population is very young.

Women here have to cover their body except their face, hands and feet. You can not walk with a mini skirt here. No Sir, unless you are asking for a major trouble. But you don't have to wear a veil either. A small scarf over your head with a blouse and a pair of pants or a long skirt would do.

It is all right, you can ask any questions that I'm able to answer, but I'm off to bed now.

Howdy afs, thanx for replying, heres the last one for now :

What is your fav Persian food ?

Oh and please tell me....are you REALLY eating Persian rice everyday, and is that your national food ?

Have you ever been to Japan?...do you think the Persian rice beats the crap outta Japanese rice ? lets hear why

Hey, there. You're welcome.

Yes, rice has to accompany most dishes here and people eat rice instead of bread except in the morning when bread is most often served. But Persian way of cooking rice is quite unique, when rice is cooked, the rice seeds shouldn't stick to each other, each seed is still separated while it is cooked. Also it has to come with butter or some other fat when it is served. I've never been to Japan but I'e been to their restaurants in the US. In the Japanese or Chinese way of cooking rice however, seeds sticks together and Persians don't like their rice that way. This happens here when a Persian cook doesn't know how to cook the rice.

But Rice has come to the Persian diet not a long time ago. I suspect you can safely say that it has been less than half a century that rice is being eaten everyday nationwide.

My favorite food doesn't have rice ironically, although rice is a must in the Persian dishes nowadays. It is a dish from Esfahan, my hometown. Meat from potted lamb ribs must be grinded and then panned and seasoned with pepper, salt and cinnamon. This is being served with gravy and bread. It is very delicious and I've rarely found this dish in any other city in Iran.

Very interesting!

Take down the 77 from your name, rearrange the letters and you got Esfahan.
Afsaneh = Esfahan --- Is that a coincidence, or are you named after your town, Vito Corleone style ?

Maybe the Japanese dont want to separate the seeds because then it would be harder to grasp with the sticks

I was going to ask about Persian Rugs, but I'll save that question for next month

I really appreciate the time you took to answer my questions

That's what spoon is made for!
Thinking of eating with sticks gives me eating disorder. :p

No, problem and I wonder how you already know this much about Persians.

Zia once found the connection too between the two names. There is an alternate way of writing Esfahan in English which is Isfahan. But I've always preferred to use Esfahan. In Persian we use different "s" for each letter, nonetheless, I like this Corleone style.