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Happy Saint Patrick's Day

Posted By: klydon1

Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 04:00 AM

I hope you all enjoy the day. Now recently Muhammed Ali discovered that his great grandfather was from Ireland. You too may have Celtic blood flowing in your veins and not even know it. So, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I put out this test to help you determine if you might be Irish.

You just might be Irish if:

Some of the greatest times of your life take place at funerals;

You have more siblings than fingers and have multiple cousins named Pat, Mike and Mary Margaret;

In school you have to write a paper on your hero, and you select the Virgin Mary;

You can be in a bloody fist fight with a man and ten minutes later be drinking a beer with him arm-in-arm;

You write "Irishcatholicdemocrat" as one word;

You can refer to centuries of oppression and starvation as the good old days;

You believe that William Shakespeare was from County Mayo;

You cram as many words possibleinto each sentence you utter;

You're pulled over by a policeman after drinking the night away, and when you are asked if you had been drinking, you reply, "You're god damned right, sonny.";

You hope that some day the American government finds that Protestant bastard, who built that narrow bridge that Ted Kennedy missed when taking that young girl home from midnight mass;

At the drop of a hat you can offer a persuasive argument as to why your mother should be canonized...in iambic pentameter;

You realize that all floods, fires and hurricanes and world problems are caused by the English;

Your grandmother has a picture of John Kennedy hanging next to Jesus;

You spend your Wednesday night poking fun at your heritage and wishing the people of the greatest internet board in cyber space a Happy St Patty's Day!
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 04:28 AM

Great list Kly!! I'm not Irish but I like the Irish. wink Here's my joke:



Two Irish mothers, Kate and Lorna were talking about their sons.

Kate says, 'My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years.'

Lorna responds, 'Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time.'

'My word,' says Kate, 'You must be so proud.'

'I am,' announces Lorna, 'And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party.'


lol

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

TIS
Posted By: SC

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 05:04 AM

To all those celebrating (and EVERYONE should be), Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

My contribution to the joke list: Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

Both of my wives were Irish!! smile
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 02:15 PM

Did you hear the one........ (this one's cute) smile


A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guiness beer.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"


lol

TIS
Posted By: Danito

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 02:55 PM

Posted By: olivant

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 04:09 PM

The Irish. The original Mr. Potato Heads.
Posted By: Signor Vitelli

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 07:35 PM

This evening I'll be draggin' me tail (an' me guitar) into Manhattan for a get-together with a bunch of nice folks who'll be singing Irish songs and generally having a good time. Probably no alcohol (unless we bring our own) and definitely no fisticuffs! Just good people and good songs.

And a Happy St. Patrick's Day to all!

Signor V.
Posted By: Longneck

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 07:43 PM

I hate that people think St. Patrick's day means be a douchebag day.

I hate that people just think the Irish are a bunch of drunk brawlers, It just makes me wanna get drunk and punch someone.
Posted By: dontomasso

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 08:02 PM

Originally Posted By: Longneck
I hate that people think St. Patrick's day means be a douchebag day.

I hate that people just think the Irish are a bunch of drunk brawlers, It just makes me wanna get drunk and punch someone.



I'll drink to that.
Posted By: Ice

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 08:44 PM

A year ago yesterday we lost Amanda, my dear Irish girl. I think of her today.

'May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be at your back, May the sunshine be warm apoun your face. And rains fall soft upoun your fields, And until we meet again may God hold you in the hallow of His hands.'--Irish blessing

Posted By: MaryCas

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 09:17 PM



Here's my little lad and lassie Collins celebrating their first St. Paddy's Day.

I don't have an Irish joke but here's a true Irish story. My wife's grandmother was Anna Murphy (from Dunmore Kyld). One of 14 kids. She married and Eye-Talian (name withheld) and as a young married wife, helped in the boarding house of her in-laws where she learned Italian, which she spoke with an Irish brogue. Me being a German-Mick-Polock was dating her grandaughter, the apple of her eye. Thank God she liked me. I could listen to her stories all night long. Me and the future MaryCas had been dating a few months. One night we came home from a date (probably the movies) and when we came in the house (also where Anna Murphy lived at the time), apparently MC had a sour face, so Anna says in her Irish brogue, "What's the matter Mary Ann, didn't Lee play with your tits tonight?" I'm not sure how red I turned, but it sure felt bright.

I loved that lady (God rest her soul).....and I still love her grandaughter. And now she has some great-great-grand kids...and Irish no less. Happy St Patrick's Day Grandma.
Posted By: SC

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 09:21 PM

Originally Posted By: MaryCas



Love the picture!!!
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 09:26 PM

MC,


They are soooooo cute!!!! wink Great picture. You must be very very proud.



TIS
Posted By: olivant

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 09:32 PM

President O'Bama? Irish-American relatives ID'd By CRISTIAN SALAZAR and RANDY HERSCHAFT, Associated Press

NEW YORK – President Barack Obama found out years ago he had an Irish great-great-great-grandfather who fled the potato famine in 1850. He can now claim 28 living relatives who also descended from that Irishman, including a Vietnam veteran, a school nurse and a displeased Arizona Republican.

The president's newly identified relatives are revealed in a study released to The Associated Press by Ancestry.com, whose genealogists also traced descendants of 23 other Irish passengers on the ship that brought Falmouth Kearney to the United States when he was 19.

The survey allowed genealogists to further trace branches in Obama's family tree and others who arrived on the ship, known as the Marmion, on March 20, 1850.

According to the survey, the passengers' descendants live in Canada, Syria and throughout the United States. Among Obama's newly identified relatives is 83-year-old Dorma Lee Reese, of Tucson, Ariz.
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/17/11 09:54 PM

I thought I remember him saying he had Irish ancestors. Btw, I think he just met with Ireland's leader didn't he???? Or he's going to soon. confused

There's a few foreign countries I'd like to see, and Ireland is one that looks/sounds appealing. smile



TIS
Posted By: pizzaboy

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 12:28 AM

Tonight's Daily Number in New York State was 317. As straight as an arrow! eek Talk about the luck of the Irish! smile

Of course it was sold out since last week. It's like that every year around certain holidays.

It reminds me of how 911 came out on September 11, 2002, here in New York, on the first anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks. It came out straight that night also. I've always felt the fix was in on that one.
Posted By: J Geoff

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 05:25 AM

Originally Posted By: pizzaboy
I've always felt the fix was in on that one.

I can't see the state or city fixing it so people win... wink
Posted By: Lilo

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 10:31 AM

I never heard of this history before.
The San Patricios
Posted By: pizzaboy

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 01:26 PM

Originally Posted By: J Geoff
Originally Posted By: pizzaboy
I've always felt the fix was in on that one.

I can't see the state or city fixing it so people win... wink

Ordinarily I'd agree. But in such a case the payout differential would be nominal anyway. The state sets limits on how much they take on certain numbers before the number is "sold out." They make sure they can't get hurt too badly. But hey, doesn't all that money go towards "education" anyway? whistle
Posted By: Signor Vitelli

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 02:33 PM

While recovering from St. Patrick's Day, I found something called the Irish Virus.

Now, it's not something you'll need penicillin shots for, as it's computer-related.

Being a rather low-tech person myself, I found it was definitely good for a laugh. See for yourselves:

Irish Virus

Signor V.
Posted By: J Geoff

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 04:20 PM


I never thought I'd like cooked cabbage -- it always smelled rank to me -- but I tried buttered cabbage and other veggies as a side dish to a pastrami/cole slaw/slice pickle sandwich and both were excellent. With a few Guinnesses. cool

Facebook Mobile Uploads -- 2nd photo - does the link work? FB doesn't let you hotlink images any more. ;/
Posted By: olivant

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 04:36 PM

Originally Posted By: J Geoff

I never thought I'd like cooked cabbage


Try Halushka. It's fried cabbage with dumplings and butter.
Posted By: pizzaboy

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/18/11 06:06 PM

Originally Posted By: Signor Vitelli
While recovering from St. Patrick's Day, I found something called the Irish Virus.

Is that like chicken pox where you can't get it twice?

Because I think my neighbor Megan gave it to me when I was 15.
Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/19/11 11:18 AM

Originally Posted By: Lilo
I never heard of this history before.
The San Patricios


Some of then stayed in Mexico and that is why you get the occasional ginger Mexican.

If you don't believe me check out latest Mexican boxing sensation Saul Alvarez. He is pasty white skinned with ginger hair, he looksl ike he just staggered out of a boozer in Dublin. Boy can fight though smile
Posted By: Signor Vitelli

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/19/11 01:43 PM

Originally Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas
...that is why you get the occasional ginger Mexican.


I thought "ginger" had an entirely different meaning in the UK! whistle

Signor V.
Posted By: DE NIRO

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/20/11 10:18 PM

Ive always found it odd how the English celebrate St Patrick's day more than they do our own St Georges Day, just a excuse for a drink i guess..
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/20/11 10:45 PM

Yea but St. Patrick is the patron saint of green beer isn't he? wink tongue



TIS
Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/22/11 02:43 PM

Originally Posted By: DE NIRO
Ive always found it odd how the English celebrate St Patrick's day more than they do our own St Georges Day, just a excuse for a drink i guess..


Possibly, but i still celebrate St. Georges Day.....and St.Andrews Day cos i am half a jock tongue
Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/22/11 07:33 PM

Originally Posted By: J Geoff
FB doesn't let you hotlink images any more. ;/
Omit the "&set=" and everything after it, and you'll be brought to the old style pic viewing, from which you can right click and get the Image Location.
Posted By: DE NIRO

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/26/11 12:23 AM

Originally Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas
Originally Posted By: DE NIRO
Ive always found it odd how the English celebrate St Patrick's day more than they do our own St Georges Day, just a excuse for a drink i guess..


Possibly, but i still celebrate St. Georges Day.....and St.Andrews Day cos i am half a jock tongue


Sorry to hear that wink
Posted By: Yogi Barrabbas

Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day - 03/26/11 02:15 PM

smile
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