Age Difference

So speaking of age difference between couples...what is considered to be the borderline between "should be less" and "that's just wrong!" ? is 10 years "somehow acceptable" but 15 years "way outta line" ?

My girlfriend is 2 years younger than me. No story there. I've got a friend who's 26 and his girlfriend 20. Again, no story.
But I've got another friend who's 32 and his girlfriend 23. There's more than 9 years of difference between them, or you can say there's a decade between them. Now they love each other very much, live together, and I wish for everyone to be as happy as they are right now. The girl's mom seems to be ok with it. She's happy that the boy is "settled" and has a steady job, his own apartment etc. He's also a very nice guy, btw. But the father is not so happy. He keeps telling his girl that when she'll be 30 then he'll be 40, and then she might start to regret her decision. And I'm just wondering what's the borderline here. I'm pretty sure that if it was 6 or 7 years of difference the father would not have said anything, but 9 years seem to bother him.

I guess 15 years of difference is when people start saying stuff like "he could practically be her father". I suppose if someone had his first daughter when he was 20, and she went on to marry a guy who's 35 while she was 20, then yeah there's only like 5 years of differnce between the father and the husband. But then there will always be people who say that as long as 2 people love each other, age shouldnt bother. But it's not always so simple...

Another thing I'd like to discuss is the fact that the man is usually the older one. What if it was the other way around and the boy was dating an older woman? is it then even more of an issue? should the boy's parents give him hell about dating an older woman, say 10 yrs older than him?

I'm also interested to know how age difference is perceived in other cultures. Maybe svsg could tell us a little about India, afsaneh about Iran, etc.

My girlfriend is 5 years older than me and at first she had some issues about the age difference because she thought it might look weird to other people. But we have everything in common and are totally in love, and I think that's key.

I also think that the older you get the difference matters less. For example, a 33 year old with an 18 year old is a huge difference from a maturity point of view. But a 64 year old falling in love with a 79 year old isn't that different because both have gone through most of lifes experiences.

EDIT: I say we have everything in common which isn't literally true. We have all of the most important things in common and we teach each other about everything else keeping things interesting and exciting.

love is love...unless its a blonde bimbo that marries an 89 year old. but, i do see why people are kinda iffy with the "he could be your father" age.

I think I've seen all sorts of matches being made here regardless of age as well. My sister in law once tried to set me up with someone 11 years older than I, and my mom loved him because he had it all, was a doctor, had an apartment, etc, but then I objected to our age difference, but what really had bothered me was him being a total asshole. I also used to have a colleague who was in her fifties, married to a guy who was in his forties. They seemed happy and in love. So I don't think it matters that much if people are in tune, if that can be actually possible for people with age difference. Decades separates styles and tastes, no doubt. And if sense still has a say, you'd want a partner that you could enjoys maximum years possible together.

Obviously the older you get, the less it matters.

You can't say X number of years and have it mean anything. If anything, it should be a percentage to matter, if that's what matters to you.

Age shouldn't matter if love's involved (as long as it's legal). Very large age differences might not (and probably won't) necessarily work out for a real and serious LTR, but many people (male and female) are "into" younger or older on a pure sexual and/or psychological-need basis.

Personally, I'm usually more attracted to those younger; and, one of my friends is the opposite. And we can't see each other's point of view at all! lol But it's all good and shouldn't make a difference.

Just wait long enough.... it'll all even out in the end.

I knew a guy who was 45 and he was dating a 15 year old girl. He was THREE times older than her. After 15 years, he was 60 years old and she was 30. Now he was only TWO times as old as she. Give it time.... they'll soon be even.

My husband is 2 years younger than I am. When we first met, he was a freshman in college and I was a junior. I thought he was very sweet, but refused to date him because of the age thing. My mother advised me to "go out with him just once and see what happens. You don't have to marry him!"

My cousin's daughter visited from Italy last year. She was 20 and her husband was 33. That seems quite acceptable there.

Cradle robber.

Oh, my God!! How did you know his mother's nickname for me??

I know a few of them. This was the cleanest.

My uncle was in his late 40s when he married a woman in her mid-20s. She's more than ten years younger than I, but she's still my aunt, and it bothers her when I call her that.

My next door neighbor was 42 when he married a twenty year old; she's 31 now, and sometimes she , her sister, my wife and other ladies go out for the night. My neighbor is always nervous and wants her to come home early.

I guess it depends, and the older you get the less it matters. I have a cousin who married (several times) younger women at least 20 years younger. Yet, 20 years seems like a lot to me. My sister is 3 yrs older than her husband, I was 4 months older than mine.

It seems after so many years and generations apart, how well can you relate to your mate???

Anyway at 60 something I can't say I've seen any 80 year old hotties.

There are all sorts of personal conflicts that arise from a big age gap; careers, interests (careers again), time-management (careers again), etc.

I don't think it's any coincidence that "the older you get the less matters"; post-career has less conflicts of interest, more time, etc.

Age gap problems are a product of a wider social problem.

A friend of mine, who is a very attractive 34 year old woman, has a boyfriend, who's 26. We now call her the cougar.

When she first brought him to our house for a Labor Day party, she and I were talking and she asked if I knew where the boyfriend was. I told her I gave him a juice box and put a SpongeBob dvd on for him.

I think that age shouldn't matter, as long as they're not younger than one of your kids. That is just embarrassing.

I agree with that. I'll also add that if you actually leave your current, same-age spouse for someone young enough to be your child, you've really got some problems.

Or in the alternative, it's awkward when you date someone older than your parents. A girl, with whom I went to college, dated a philosophy professor who was in his mid-50s. I remember seeing her introduce him to her parents at graduation. God, it was awkward.

My niece married at 21/22 a 50 something year old man. This guy is older than her dad (my brother). Yea, it does get to a point where it's not just embarrassing, but kind of ridiculous. They are now divorced, and although I don't know all the details, I do have a feeling the age difference (along with other factors) played a part. To each his own I guess???????



TIS

Yeah, you, too. I was more talking about this guy who's like 3 years younger than me into women 10-30 years older (one was 69 -- his mother's age) lol

That's hilarious.

It's not so much of a big deal when someone dates a younger person, but when that younger person flaunts it, you just want to smack them!

My husband and I still socialize with his two best friends from high school. One of them got married around the same time we did and the other was single. The married friend's wife and I had our kids a few months apart, so one particular New Year's Eve, she was 8 months pregnant with her second and I had recently had my first. We were not feeling particularly pretty that night.

The single guy brought this PYT to the party. Dressed in a mini-skirt and stilettos, she actually laughed at one point and said, "I just realized that I was in pre-school when you guys were all in high school together!". We just wanted to kill her.

Ouch. Now that's a bitch.

Ha ha ha...That's hilarious!! Little bitch!!!

TIS

The late Signora V. was six years older than me. It never really made much of a difference; we were still of the same generation, and were were definitely right for each other.

I do remember, many years ago, when I was 28 I was pursued by an oversexed 18 year old who thought she was God's Gift. The body of a porn star (all natural, too!), but just too immature for me to want to deal with her. She thought she could get anyone wrapped around her finger just by throwing herself at them. Anyway, a few years later when I was living with the soon-to-be Signora V. (we weren't married yet), "The Tiger" (the kid's nickname) called when I was out working. She would periodically resurface to try and throw some interference into relationships, and this time I was no exception. Signora V. was on to her - she answered the phone, recognized the voice and said, "He's not home right now, but he really doesn't need to fool around with girls anymore - he's engaged to a woman!" The Tiger never called again.

Generally speaking, I've always been attracted to women my own age, or a little bit older (though there have been a couple of exceptions). Now that I'm single again, perhaps I would be a little more open - but I could never see myself involved with someone young enough to be my daughter.

Signor V.

Sr Vitelli told me this story once before, but he told me a different version. He told me that the only problem was that the girl's seeing eye dog kept barking all night long.

Sicilian Babe..just wanna say that I'm very, VERY disappointed in you. Here I was writing this thread, hoping that you'd come along and post about your toy boys. But no...instead you talk about your hubby Mr. Babe, whom we all know is a sweetheart and the coolest redhead in town.

Now get down to business and tell us all about them toy boys!

According to wikipedia...there's actually a formula!

"Half-your-age-plus-seven relationship rule"

Here's the graph:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg

According to this graph, 14 is the minimum (but I had a gf when I was 12!) and no one lives beyond 85. Shame. Oh and 15 years of age difference is acceptable only once you're 30 (45 is the max). If you're 35 then you can date a 55. Funny graph.

Here's the article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

Ah, discretion thy name is Fame. Sorry, sweetie, some things will never be told.

Fine. Then no more talk about Jeter, too.

Deal?

(BAM....you owe me one)

Who is this Jeter that you speak of???

She's finally sane!

My Dad married this BITCH who is 20 years younger than him. And now he regrets it.

Cougars are great.

Not only do they pay for their own drinks, they pay for mine as well.

owe you what? lol

Sorry man, I thought you hate the Yankees even more than you love the cubs

So do you want the Angels to come back from the dead, or would you rather have a Phillies win over Yanks?

Bastardo!

Signor V.

o lol i would go for either...but, if i would choose the angles coming back and stop the yanks from making the the series.

My wife is 5 years younger than i. I got to her early. She was married with a kid by the time she was 21.

Two of my uncles have married women much younger - they in their forties, and the wives in their mid to late twenties, one from Vietnam and one from Iran.

I have not had much of a chance to get to know my Iranian aunt because she and my uncle live overseas and were married only recently. My uncle lived in Kuwait for years before their marriage and meeting, however, as he's always been interested in the culture and seems happier there.

My Vietnamese aunt, however, has lived in America for some time now; she and my uncle have a six-year-old son, and we are all very close.

I guess the family was somewhat surprised on both occasions to learn of my uncles' partners, but I think it's been fine for everyone involved. As a married pair, I can see how there could be issues, and I would guess even more so with a child, but I suppose it's up to the couple to decide how to handle it. And in itself, I don't think there's any harm - if you love someone, you love them.

It is (by a huge huge huge majority) always the man who is older than his wife. The preferred age difference is 3-7 years. I am 3 years older than my wife. My father is 10 years older than my mother and my grandfather is just 6 months older than my grandmother. I have two male friends who have married women 1-2 years older than them. In India, traditional arranged marriages are still the norm (though the trend is changing very rapidly) and these age differences are carefully maintained.