Worst. Movies. Ever.

Okay, I just totally wasted 90 minutes of my life. And what kills me is, I don't mind bad movies -- they can be entertaining sometimes, and a good way to turn off your brain for a couple hours. I even like some bad movies (and I'm NOT talking about movies some people here just don't like, like half you posers "hating" Lord of the Rings -- cuz that's not a BAD movie, it's just you DISLIKE it for some reason :p )

This thread is for movies that are just utterly to the core BAD. Bad story, bad acting, bad directing, bad bad bad everything! (Again, not movies you dislike that millions of others adore :p )

Here's the first one. Just saw it tonight. Unfortunately.

Fat Albert (2004)

I'm dating myself (yeah, DMC, cuz no one else would! :p ) here, but I used to watch the original series on television as a kid and loved it. It was entertaining yet always had positive messages to take away from it. And Bill Cosby is just a genius all around.

Fast forward to 2004, and I don't know WTF happened with this movie. Especially since Bill Cosby co-wrote it! I guess the same fate as other cartoon-turned-live-action flops like another one I hated, Scooby-Doo (2002) -- it just doesn't seem to translate that well, at least as a comedy (because it works fine with Super Heroes and all).

I don't have much to say about it, except at this point I'm trying to forget it and move on with my life.

My rating: 4.5 pukes out of 5
(Higher the number, worse it is!)

What other putrid wastes of celluloid are out there polluting our brains?

So I'm sitting here drunk, surfing the net, and I just read this post. So here are the worst movies I've seen...

A Life Less Ordinary
8MM
The Avengers

Ew.
------------------
xXx
Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
Spiderman 1/2
Eurotrip
Anchorman
Any movie with talking babies as a plot
You Got Served
Kazaam ("We genie?"??!?! Die.)
Any Jean-Claude Van Damme movie
Mortal Kombat
Crossroads
Torque
Michael Bay movies
National Treasure
Bad Boys 1/2

I know I forgot a LOT, and I'm glad I did because I fucking hate all the garbage.

To be honest, I've never really cared for that mafia movie...what's it called? Oh yes, The Godfather. :p

And Fat Albert is my favorite all-time movie! No, actually, I've never seen it...

Seriously, I don't think I have any "Worst. Movies. Ever" (maybe I've just been fortunate enough to not catch any). There are some I don't like, or don't understand what the big deal about them is, but I think that falls into the LOTR category described. The ones that probably really are the "worst" ones are the ones I like because I find them stupid/funny (Joe Dirt, Wayne's World, etc. ).

Anyway, maybe later I'll think of some more fitting movies to post here.

I hated Oceans 12. Vercetti picked some winners.

Okay, yeah, well some of these fall into my "Guilty Pleasures" category -- movies that I enjoy simply for the action. I admit, such movies are entertaining to me. And sometimes entertainment value alone is enough to keep it out of the trash bin. For me, at least. Okay, Eurotrip sucked big time. But Spider-Man didn't! :p

This is politically incorrect, but it's one of my favorite movie-spoof pics. This is more of a spoof of how "badass" Hollywood tries to be, more then anything towards blacks.

Another example -- I love heist movies. Totally!
Oceans 11 was great. Y'know what, maybe you're right - cuz I can't for the life of me remember the plot for Oceans 12, so maybe it did suck!

Ocean's 12 ruined the first movie, considering they have to GIVE THE MONEY BACK, not to mention a shitty script.

OH, and WHO could forget the worst western ever created?

You just hate Will Smith, don't you, you racist :p

Shut up stupidhead.

"Stupidhead"?

I really don't know how to respond to that. Maybe tomorrow I'll call up my nephews (4, 8 and 12) for some comparable come-backs. :p

oh my god...
Don Vercetti your DEAD

I think our Don is correct you do HATE Will Smith...

does that means you hate BLACK ACTORS...
Hmmmm....lets find out...
What about THE GREEN MILE (1999) Don Vercetti???

I agree with these below, I was sorry I watched them:

The Fast and the Furious
Spiderman 2
Crossroads
Ocean 12

And here I was considering watching Crossroads!

These are not worth buying at all. If you have time to waste though, that's another story.

I have time to waste, but I think I'll waste it elsewhere. Now I can tell my mom she shouldn't watch Spidey 2 because the BB says it sucks!

come on Spiderman 2 and Ocean 12 were good movies....

WORST MOVIES EVER:
*Dude, Where's my Car?
*Eurotrip
*Fat Albert (Hey Hey Hey)
*Catwoman
*Alexander
*Elektra

Sorry, another genre I adore - martial arts. Especially those with kick-ass half-naked chicks like Jennifer Garner in them.

Really, I don't mind the over-the-top "impossible" martial arts movies like this, Kill Bill, Crouching Tiger, etc... they're exciting to watch!

Well Kill Bill, Crouching Tiger kind of movies ARE exciting
but Elektra Even Jennifer Garner HER SELF said it was her WORST movie...

Ahh, as I said, it doesn't take much to entertain me.

probably Catwoman is the worst film ever. and hey, the Spider Man movies just cannot be in thread!

Like DV stated any Jean Claudde Van Damme(as in damn bad acting on his part)movie.

But Eurotrip was pretty good.


I saw a movie about 1 month ago called Dracula 3000 god was that bad.

Bad Santa
Chicago

Im just wondering about that - if you think "Fast and the furious", "Spiderman 1", "Bad Boys 1" are some of the worst movies ever....then why did you watch their sequels?

I know that sometimes a sequel is better than the original, but have you ever seen a good sequel when the original was HORRIBLE?

The JG/BDD sex tape

Hellboy

I'll post more as they come to mind

You said you got over that. :p I said I was sorry!

Bah, anyone can list their worst movies ever.

Here is a REAL challenge if anyone is up to it. What is the WORST movies you paid to see in theaters?

Okay, I'll take the first plunge:

BATTLEFIELD EARTH - I know, what was I thinking? I enjoyed the novel the film was based on, but jesus christ the movie was BAD BAD BAD! Really, this movie alone almost made me wanna commit a jihad against Scientology.

ALIEN VS PREDATOR - Paul W.S. Anderson should burn in hell. His movies suck and hell, he ruined what could have been a fun action-packed movie based on the legendary graphic novel, but oh well. I saw this movie for free because of some promotion, but I was so revolted by it, I demanded my money back from the theater afterwards!

Hmmmm, some terrible movies I've seen:

2 Fast, 2 Furious (although the first film is a guilty pleasure of mine).

Kickboxing Academy probably qualifies as the worst movie of all time. I don't know if anyone here has seen it, but if you ever get the chance, please watch it. It's so bad, you just might like it. To give a hint, the boyfriend and girlfriend characters in the film are actually brother and sister in real life. And uh, they actually kiss a couple times.

I'll think of a few more later.

First one off the top of my head... Carrie 2.

Actually, that whole genre is full of bad movies - They, Jeepers Creepers, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake), House of the Dead...

[in 5 year old voice] Leave me alone you JEEEEERK!
-----------------
I'm always dragged into stupid movies.

Eurotrip rocked.

Yes, Anchorman was awful. Not even remotely funny. The other really bad movie - Roadie starring that great actress Blondie. Ugh!!

I concur. One of the funniest/easiest movies to quote in recent memory

God I hated Eurotrip. Every joke except the ones from the Austrian guy in the slum were done before. The whole thing was just another stupid redone teen comedy.

Off the top of my head:

The Waterboy, Last Action Hero, Waterworld, Runaway Jury, The Recruit, any Jaws sequel, Rambo III.

eurotrip was ok like when the little kid starts doin the nazi march. but the worst movies ever are daredevil and surviving christmas. ben affleck is one of the worst actors ive ever seen. one movie that is horrible but i still love is sidekicks with chuck norris...

Tremors and all its children.
The Island of Dr. Moreau with Kilmer & Brando.
Batman & Robin with George Clunkhead.

I'm gettin' sick...I can't list any more.

That's just because Salma Hayek was in it Just playing

Wah....who here actually saw some of those LOSERS on the big screen? I did. Really, its easy to watch it on cable or better yet RENT it and then cry over it. Imagine if you forked more than $5 on a movie so bad, you might as well wipe your ass with that money.

Salo
Sin City
2 Fast 2 Furious
Dodgeball

Two Words: Pear Harbor

The worst movie Ive seen in theaters was Wild Wild West :rolleyes:
Also The Fast and the Furious and many of these "Teen-Movies" :rolleyes: Cant think of specific movies now though.
Ive seen a dozen of shitty movies though.
From the ones mentioned, how is 8MM a bad movie?

How is Sin City or Spider-Man 2 a bad movie!?

Spider Man 2....looks like a video game.....has one of the worst of today's actors in the lead....corny scenes.

"He just stole that dude's pizzas!"

Ugh...

All the above named movies look like Oscar winners compared to "The Dentist" starring Corbin Bernsen (the guy from "L.A. Law"). Its soooo bad its actually funny.

Most definitely Love, Honour and Obey (1999, Anciano/Burdis, GB). With such a cast as Ray Winstone, Jude Law, Cathy Burke and Johnny Lee Miller, with a promised premise on the VHS cover of one of the true original gangster films of the year, you'd expect something at least half-watchable. It's got to be, after Passion of the Christ (2004), one of the most crassly edited films I've ever seen. Fade-to-black inbetween every scene (sometimes they replace jump-cuts); horrible, improvised dialogue, which sounds awful when the cast are playing characters with the same name as in real life; and the script's narrative twists are about as exciting as a Michael Bay film. It's the only fiml I've taken back to the store. I exchanged it for Altman's Gosford Park (2001).

The worst film I've ever seen at the cinema was the one I saw last month: Danny Boyle's new feature, Millions (2005). Poorly judged performances from the young stars, an overly sentimental script, and godawful editing.

I can't wait to see Spider-Man 2 (and I am being serious!).

Mick

I don't mind bad movies ... not every cinematic work can be a hit. I think one had to have realistic expectations and to judge movies according to their ambition and intention - for example, I recently watched House of Wax and Sin City, and enjoyed them both for what they were; a classic, unoriginal horror remake and a comic-to-screen translation respectively.

"Worst. Movies. Ever", for me, can only be the ones that I literally could not see through to the end. And for me, there are only two that are so insufferable that I would rather chew my own legs off than watch to their conclusion.

The Goonies

Minority Report


Awful, deplorable films.

Dude, Spiderman 1/2 both totally kicked ass. They are two of my favorite movies ever (though clearly because I am a comic fan). Granted, they weren't oscar-best picture good, but they were good nonetheless.

I cant stand all those teenage comedies...American Pies, Clueless and all the rest of the clones...

I hate all the "Romantic Comedies with Meg Ryan"

Spiderman 1 was HORRIBLE. I love comic books, but Im not gonna say I love the movie because Spiderman or not, it was so bad even Willem Dafoe couldnt help.

The Superman series however are the best example of how to make a great "comic book" movie.
But only Superman I and II.
Superman II is the best - I consider it the best "Superhero" movie ever made. It influencd so many other movies as well (Star Wars prequels / The Matrix trilogy just to name a few)

Poor Will Smith...

There are too many shitty movies out there. Multiply the number of shitty movies with ten and you get the number of shitty songs out there.

You Got Served

Ladies & Gentlemen - I'm sad to announce that a certain "movie" (note the quotation marks, IT doesnt even deserved to be called that) has made the top of my list and is currently ranked No.1 in my "Worst. Movies. Ever" list.
Yes, it's even worse than Wild Wild West.
Its so bad, that "Pearl Harbor" looks like "Citizen Kane" in comparison.
Its soooo bad, that even Angelina Jolie didnt help.
Not even Robert Duvall.

How I wish the movie was "gone in sixty seconds", but Im afraid the awful experience of watching this DISASTER will haunt me for days to come...

GONE IN 60 SECONDS isn't that bad...but ya, its a piece of shit never the less.

Besides, PEARL HARBOR is still to be the worst of the American patriotic-exploiting movies to come from Hollywood in quite some time.

To think that Michael Bay is making TRANSFORMERS for next summer. God help us!

The Untouchables
Any Given Sunday
American History X

Worthless movies.

Oh ya DVC? I dare you to rent THIS tomorrow:

EDISON (2005)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389957/

Back in 2004, Justin "Pop Hack" Timberlake's "acting" debut of a cop thriller, with Kevin "My publicists say I aint gay, alright?" Spacey and Morgan "Fuck the Penguins!" Freeman. Ok, so shot back in 2004, test screenings were about as successfull as American attempts to stop the North Koreans from being nuclear weapon armed...as in, SHIT.

Then its pushed back and back, to the point that its finally released, but bypassing theaters to DVD.

I caught this floater back in 2005 on bootleg. Why? Maybe I felt I was getting "exclusive" seeing a movie pre-release. Instead, I felt like an asshole.

Really, even the self-indulgence of Oliver Stone with ANY GIVEN SUNDAY is still GUNS OF THE NAVARONE compared to EDISON.

OMG IT HAS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE?!?!?

I'd give anything to see the greatest solo artist of our generation star in a movie. I'm renting this tomorrow.

The Untouchables = pretty lame film from a director who's capable of great stuff like Carlito's Way...

Any Given Sunday = had a bit of an interesting view regarding the "MTV generation", but all in all, the movie didnt do much, nor did Pacino.

American History X = an outstanding drama, best Norton film IMO, give it a rewatch DVC.

The worst movie I've ever seen is Caddyshack II.

Wag the Dog for me

Horrible

BOOOOOOOO... HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

If those are the worst films you can possibly come up with then I envy you.

Stewart Smalley was a terrible movie as was The Cell.

The Exorcist 11 - The Heretic - Simply awful. Surprising at the time, since Richard Burton was in it. Unintentionally and embarraasingly funny. I never did sit through the entire film. In short, it sucked.

TIS

If those are the worst films you can possibly come up with then I envy you. [/b][/quote]Yeah...I'm sure there are worse out there, just not that I've seen.

I haven't seen a single movie from your list.

The White Buffalo

Catwoman
When a stranger calls(REMAKE)
Jaws3&4
Boat Trip
Mr Magoo
Scooby Doo
Savage Beach@ Return to Savage Beach
Charlies'Angels:Full Thottle

If those are the worst films you can possibly come up with then I envy you. [/b][/quote]Yeah...I'm sure there are worse out there, just not that I've seen.[/b][/quote]Bullshit.

If those are the worst films you can possibly come up with then I envy you. [/b][/quote]Yeah...I'm sure there are worse out there, just not that I've seen.[/b][/quote]Bullshit.

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Uh, ok.