The Guy's Thread

How come the ladies get a thread and we don't?

So, how's everybody's balls today?

Fine thanks,



great topic. heres to man power..

In proportion to his body, that dude has HUGE balls!

Good stuff DeNiro.

Man law.

Competition for The Ladies' Thread?

Or for The Fellas' Thread?

But this is the one where we talk about how women are mere objects and should be treated as such, right? That's probably an unwritten man law.

Nope, that is a WRITTEN coward's law

The Guys Thread?

Sounds a little mezza finocchio if you ask me!

How do you remember all these threads??

Geez, how pathetic an attempt at pumping some testosterone through your veins is THIS?????

It's been tried, and it failed, just showing how men are, by and large, unable to commit to anything.

I was hoping my remarkable memory of trivial things wouldn't go unnoticed.

Maybe it's time you turn the GBB over to me? Wouldn't that be a disaster, though?

It'd be the Ladies' Thread expanded to cover the entire site.

Men would probably be able to commit if it weren't for women sticking their noses in our business and attempting (successfully) to emasculate us.

EDIT: By the way, my girlfriend is sitting here with me and she's on your side SB, so I'm fighting for men on here and at home. (You noncommital men better be proud! RALLY CAPS!)

Don't joke... I gotta leave it to someone in my Will, right? Who better than you? (And at least at that point I'd be too dead to see what it'd turn into! )

OMG... I just read that as "pumping some testosterone through your penis" and was like WTF??!!

...if that's how it's done, then sorry, ladies!

Geoff, you always see what you want to see. In this case, just as in every case, it's something dirty. What a surprise!

I was actually going to ask if I was next in line to take over the site, so if I'm in the will, I must be all set! Was it because I always fed you your prunes on time?

(I'll find the prune posts, too, if need be.)

Dirty? Me?? Never!

I'm sure you couldn't remember even 1 instance when I was..... oh, never mind about that -- how 'bout them 'stros, huh?? Yeah, and also Willy -- what a hotty, right?

Eh...hanging in there...

GINA : He said there was something in it for me -- on my own.


DON SICILIA : I've always taken care of you GINA.


GINA: Taken care of me. You're a douche and you take care of me? Did you ever think about that -- did you ever once think about that. Send GINA off to post this -- send GINA off to post that! Let GINA post about some Mickey Mouse Twilight Zone marathon. Send GINA to pick someone up off the fantasy waiver list! I'm your sister DOUCHE and I was stepped over!

DON SICILIA :That's the way Geoff wanted it.

GINA : It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things I'm smart -- I'm smart and I want respect!






** disclaimer: not trying in any way to imply that Gina is a Fredo.**

Here Gina :

Hey, keep Mister Babe out of this.

Hilarious, DC.

I remember the Fella's Thread. It died a quick death. Here's an abbreviated "10 Things I Think I Think" as advice to keep this thread going:

10 Things I Think I Think (ala Peter King)
1 - I think you need to keep the ladies involved. It keeps this thread classy plus they'll light scented candles when the aroma becomes, shall we say, rank.

2 - I think you should keep JG involved. Like a bottomless well, his supply of innuendos will provide fodder for even the slowest of days. Extra fun when both JG and DMC are together.

3 - I think we should not let this turn into a "post a hottie" thread. We should aim to dedicate this thread to intellectual discourse about the financial markets, sports, politics, the enviroment and other relevant topics.

4 - However, should DC want to post a pic of Jessica Alba, nobody will complain.

5 - I think very little of fantasy sports should be mentioned here except to remind everyone that JG is in 3rd place in both baseball games right now.

6 - Oops, JG is in 4th in the Yahoo game.

Also, if JG brings his whines in the thread, it must immediately be followed by the following pictures:



or



7 - In this thread, DC will compile all of his converted Godfather dialogue using GBB posters. My first challenge for him is to use the Senate scenes using DMC, BL, and KL. Extra bonus points if he somehow involves TM and JL.

8 - To keep Gina, Bethie, SB, and Mig interested, I think occasional pics of Willy, Vinnie, Derek, and John Travolta are OK.

9 - These pics must immediately be followed by a joke making fun of those pictured.

10 - Last but not least, Advanced Happy 4th of July, everyone! Stay safe and enjoy the Twilight Zone marathon. I've only seen the newer ones so hopefully, I'll get to see some of the classics.

THE GODMOTHER



THE CONSIGLIERESS

ALL YOUR BOARDS ARE BELONG TO US!

You're in luck, DC. Catherine Zeta Jones is into older men.

Of course, he's filthy rich. But that's another story.

(as SC scratches his nut): BELLLLLLLLLLCHHHHHHH

Ahhhhhhh.... a man's thread... about FUCKIN' TIME!!!!

Geez.... this guy's been married a year now and he's STILL saying shit like this?

Henpecked!

(SC rips a loud one)

Ahhhh, feel better now! HEY, WHO GOT A SCENTED CANDLE??

I WAS BEIN' SARCASTIC... TAKE THAT SMELLY SHIT TO THE LADIES' THREAD!

(SC tears another one) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

SC knows his scented candles. He was described once by a former girlfriend as having a scented candle... and not in a good way.

Here's my two scents on that:

BAROOOOOOOOOM.... BAAABAAAAAAAAMMMMM

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

(Imagine, some guy from the Windy City saying that about me).

Two things, SC...

1 - Lay off the beans.
2 - Keep away from open flames. With the way you're going, you're likely to start a fire in PB's thread.

Great rules! I don't understand this rule though...? What exactly is DC supposed to do?

You'll see sooner or later

You know how DC likes to use convert Godfather dialogue into conversations between GBB members? I asked him to compile his "best of" in this thread.

During the Senate testimony scene, I think you should be Tom Hagen, yelling at the Senate committee:

BL - "The Giants owes its fans an offense, the Giants owes its fans an offense... An offense, Senator."

SC,

Can you re-name this the manly mans fart thread?

Stay gassy my brother.

Oh okay! I gotcha! I love when DC does that too, I just didn't realize that's what you were referring to.

Little slow there, Blib?? Oh, that's right, this is The Guy's Thread.

Sorry, just carrying on a little shoe squeezing, since PB seems to think that's what women do best.

Oh, SC, I'm surprised the ozone didn't rip completely open with some of those. Mr. Babe would completely side with you on the scented candle thing. He runs around smelling EVERYthing. Unscented dryer sheets, unscented Downy, unscented deodorant, and definitely NO scented candles!!

It's not what women do best, just what they love doing the most.

Since it's the only way to make sure that men actually ACCOMPLISH anything, then, yeah, it's our lot in life.

That was just mean.

Hey... whaddya think... this is a Godfarter message board??

Very good one, SC.

SC is known for a RIP ROARING good time.

I come home to see 'Ten Things' by CS, and that I've been featured in a DC GF parody...it's my lucky day!!

DC, thanks so much for the disclaimer. I enjoy trying the "I'm smaht" impersonation just as much as the next person, but I was a little worried about being perceived as a Fredo. I love the "Mickey Mouse TZ marathon" line. But I'd never call Don Sicilia the d-word!!

CS, pictures of Carlos Lee would also keep me interested. Besides, I'd love to know what jokes you'll think up about him.

Oh, and watch those Twilight Zone episodes!!

If I were going to research that...if I ran a search for "penis" in posts by J Geoff...my computer would probably freeze up from all the results that would show up.

Yes indeed. Scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate him?

Gina, if we give a Cooties Alert when men (OK, boys) show up in the Ladies Thread, does this mean they will flash the dreaded Scented Candle Alert when we post in the Guy's Thread???

I'm the opposite of Mr. Babe. My sense of smell is very diminished. It has its benefits as well as drawbacks.

He makes me crazy. I can't even put on perfume when he's in the house. If I want to wear perfume, I have to wait until after he leaves for work to spray it on.

Ah, is this when Jeter visits?

As if he'd want to ever leave....;)

I'm man enough to admit it! Wait... slow to understand what SB?

This thread is already DYING! Quick, someone post a picture of a hot guy so the ladies will say something, then follow up with a belch or fart or... or... anything.

Scented Candle Alert!!

I warned you, Blib. It's been tried before, and it failed. You'd be better off wandering into the Ladies Thread every now and then.

Well, I'm giving you a little shot in the arm by posting here, but I think it's like handing out aspirin during an Ebola outbreak.

So, the ladies are needed to bring some energy into this thread?

Probably because we talk so much anyway, right?

Let's talk about Sleepless in Seattle, shopping, and chocolate. Let's share our feelings with each other and share recipes. Let's compare hairstyles and nail colors, then set out a few scented candles.

Sorry. I'm probably going to scare the guys out of their own thread. I guess my post should be related to baseball, shouldn't it?

Hmm...is this good?

Yes, indeed. It certainly shows the beauty of baseball.

I think guys should tell dirty jokes and girls will tell "butt stories" - i.e tales of their sexual shenanigans and ballyhoo. If you don't have any to tell, ladies, then make it up! Even better!

I don't have a joke so I'll just share w/ everyone a new masturbation technique I recently learned about.
It's called...*drum roll*..."THE STRANGER!"

Basically, guys, when you want to have a "good time"..let your hand fall asleep. Lay on it or something for a good ten minutes so that it has NO feeling. Therefore..when you use that hand to "pleasure" yourself, it will be as if someone other than yourself is administering. Hence the name..."THE STRANGER!"

Now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are. [/Larry the Cable Guy]

fee..lings?

No, there's no feeling. That's why it's sooo great. Don't ya get it? It's the STRAANGER..

It doesn't work, btw.

It's a myth.

Gina, I went shopping today for some new undergarments. The mall was PACKED. I SO wanted to stop at the Godiva store, because I was CRAVING some dark chocolate truffles (you KNOW how badly you crave chocolate at certain times of the month!!), but we gals must watch our weight!! Then I popped into Yankee Candle and picked up some lavender scented marvels. Afterwards, I came home and whipped up a lovely chicken dinner. Remind me to send you the recipe for the marinade. It was DIVINE!!!! Afterwards, I popped Terms of Endearment into the DVD player, and had SUCH a cleansing cry!!



You mean like that???

Wow, SB, what a post! Bravo!

That was almost too girly for me.

I knew you'd have to work the Yankees in somehow.

BURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP (trying to bring back a more manly feeling to this thread)

Yet she didn't mention Jeter! In a "girly stuff" post! How is that possible?

SC, besides burps, how about a crotch grab or a slap on another guy's butt? I see it all the time in baseball. Very manly.

I have no problem with a crotch grab (as long as its my own crotch I'm grabbing) but I draw the line at slapping another guy's butt.

Thank you SC, for bringing some manliness back to this thread.

Fart...burp...smack that bitch in the ass...

That's more like it.

And spitting!! You must SPIT!!!

Well, Jeter's batting .336 and he's HOT!!! Is that better???

Save it for the ladies thread.

No, not really.

Now, if you'd like to mention some good, old-fashioned, girl on girl porn, we'll be back in business.

Save it for the library.

A hundred degrees, boys.

So, on a day like this, is it boxers, briefs or commando?

I have that formunda cheese thing going on today, myself.

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW.

I told you broads it was the guys thread!

Have you not heard of a little something called AIR CONDITIONING??? It's the latest rage here in the 'burbs!

Gotta be boxers... on a hot day like this everything's gotta hang free and have air.

When my boys get to sticking to me, there ain't enough air conditioning in the world.

And thank you for that picture!! That reminds me of the Christmas morning when my brother called me up. We were expected at his house for dinner that afternoon. He called to tell me that while they were at church, the dog ate chocolate and got sick all over the house. They not only had to clean up, but had rushed the dog to the doggie ER. He wanted to know if we wouldn't mind delaying dinner by an hour or so.

I told him, "No problem," and was about to hang up when he said, "Thanks, I really appreciate it. I just got our of the shower and I still have to get dressed. I'm standing here buck naked!"

Now THERE'S a Christmas memory!! Ho, ho, ho!!!

Boxers? Briefs? what are you guys talking about?

Don't mention it. We guys have issues just like you women do.

One of YOUR issues that I hate to picture - when a woman wears pantyhose (hate them things) and she farts, her ankles blow up.

What do Pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common?

They both have a flat bush in them.

figured I couldn't get that by you lol

Pantyhose = hardon killers.

Reminds me of a gal I dated once.... we were "going at it" pretty good and one thing lead to another. Afterwards I told her, "Gee, if I knew you were a virgin I would've taken more time". She replied, "Hell, if I knew you had more time I would've taken off my pantyhose".

No doubt, SC.

Those things get pretty ripe in this weather, too.

And you can never quite get that smell out of a broad's ankles.

Nylons on the other hand....

Nylons make good soup.

WHAT?

Just trying to gross out SC.

You know, moldy, smelly pantyhose make a nice soup, like a used tampon.

I was wearing boxers all day but it just got hotter and hotter (and this ancient AC can't keep up w/ the afternoon sun pounding on it) ...so now the boys are airing out uninhibitedly.

Hmmm, maybe that belongs in the Ladies Threads for their enjoyment, rather than this sausage party!

Air those boys out, Geoffy!!

No, that does not belong in the Ladies' Thread, by any means.

Definitely not the purpose for us over there.

Maybe if I looked like Willy or Jeter there wouldn't be a problem...

Maybe if you looked like Willy or Jeter you wouldn't be so sexually preoccupied

So what's your excuse then?

I'm a 22 year old male....

Well, according to CS, Jeter "looks like the Rock had sex with a muppet," so... *shrugs*

But of course that's his opinion...

This is for DMC :

VERY NICE....fishnets as well, nice touch

You guys have sunk to an all new low. Keep your boys out of the Ladies Thread, JG.

Btw, did I hear Jeter mentioned???

Hard to believe that she's Paulie Cicero's daughter.

There aren't enough scented candles in the world to take the stink out of this thread.

Do I smell cooties?



Well, it's not like we're the

Depends. Are you still swinging in the breeze over there in Jersey???

No, it cooled down a little...

How am I getting all the smack? It's not like I said something like THIS:

True, but I've never met PB and I've had your shorts in my dryer (so I know personally that you're a briefs man).

Please, even DM can tell you I usually wear boxer-briefs! ...tho I now mix in regular boxers in my repertoire.

Ah! The hybrid underwear!! And you've only enhanced your repertoire because you want to avoid doing laundry.

Jeez, you gave me RIGHT UP.

Nice, real nice.

So much for loyalty amongst men, PB.

I don't wear any....ever lol

Hey, Pickle Boy's here!!

Yay!!

Yeah, what a sight that was... use a blanket next time, huh?

I know it was you, Geoff, you broke my heart.

That way he can "pitch a tent" and you can both pretend you're camping.

Tough crowd

So I went out to get a pretzel and a Pepsi. I'm out in this "air," all of five minutes and my boys are stuck to me already.

And the women have the nerve to complain about that whole menstrual thing. Try flipping and flopping in this heat.

Oh boy, what did I just do?

PB, You so did NOT go there!!! We go through that hell every month just so that we can give birth to morons who will later make fun of us and mock us each and every month at that time, and you want to complain about a little flopping around like a dead fish?????

but truthful...

My fish is very much alive, thank you very much.

I thought our "camping trip" was a secret...

Hey, it's your punishment for that Eve chick.

What, just because Adam, just like a man, couldn't say no to anything a woman offered him?

Jeter's a pillow biter.

Honey, the only time Jeter bites his pillow is when he's trying not to scream my name out loud.

Oh, wait, that was just a dream I had.

Or you can just bite Derek's pillow. (Is that what they're calling it these days?) Maybe light some candles while you do.

I really doubt that Derek has mommy issues.

I hate baseball, football on the other hand...

In other news, apparently we don't have bread in the house. I just grilled myself a burger so I'm using hot dog buns.

A tip I learned from Bobby Flay: When cooking onions on the grill, brush them with olive oil first. These onions are awesome.

Funny Longneck. I made cheeseburgers this evening but my son also wanted a couple of hot dogs. We didn't have any hot dog rolls so he used a hamburger roll. You should have called me, we could have worked out a trade!

Whenever you grill ANY kind of onions or vegetables, brush them with olive oil, add some salt, pepper, parsley, a touch of basil and a touch of oregano and let them sit for a short while before grilling them. Works great with Eggplant and Zucchini.


Next : Recipe for making Shrimp Scampi on the BBQ.

This advice actually helps me a lot for grilling vegetables! I haven't been able to figure out how to make them as good as I want them. I've added just about all that other stuff, but not the olive oil. I can't wait to try that now. *licks lips*

I grow zucchini and eggplant in my garden, as well as a couple of other types of squash, so I imagine the olive oil would be great on those as well.

By the way, I have hamburger meat AND hot dogs right now, but no buns for either. So we are ordering out, Mexican Food. Chili Rellenos... mmm...

Bibble, you can also add a little Balsamic Vinegar.

____________________________________________________________

Shrimp Scampi on the BBQ:

Clean and devaned shrimps with tail off.

Get a long piece of tin foil and place the shrimps on top of the foil. Then cut up some zuchinni , some eggplant, and some broccoli into very small cubes. Throw them on top of the shrimp. Cut up some garlic (desired amount according to taste) into very thin slices, Goodfellas style . Cut up a half an onion into very very small pieces and place the garlic and the onions on top of the shrimps and diced up vegatables. Add some pepper, some oregano, some parsley, some peparika and some basil. Take about 4 tablespoons of butter and add to the top. Sprinkle breadcrumbs accross the entire top. Then top off with a generous amount of extra virgin olive oil. Take the foil and close it around all of the ingredients. (you should have a long shaped wrap) Then take another peice of aluminum foil and totally wrap it around the first sheet of foil. So you've double foiled everything. Then place on the BBQ, turning the entire foil wrap over every 3 or 4 minutes. Do this for about 20 minutes and remove from the grill.

Open the foil and scoop everything out together onto a platter.

I don't like shrimp but that sounds good with chicken maybe

That shrimp scampi sounds wonderful. I guess double wrapping is the key. Grilling shrimp and fish can be tricky as it can sometimes overcook quickly.

Speaking of grilling vegetables...I have taken a whole cabbage, cut out the entire core, and stuck a stick of butter (kind of a tongue twister) into the space where the core used to be. I would then wrap it tightly in aluminum foil and add a second wrapping of foil not quite as tight and grill it covered over a medium heat for an hour. It turns out great. It falls apart and becomes tender.

I love shrimp! I'm going to try this for sure. This is the kind of discussion that will keep The Guy's Thread alive. How to GRILL!

I'm actually very new to it, and have grilled up plenty of steaks and chicken, and burgers, etc... But for the most part it's stuff that my girlfriend prepared. I would love to prepare something myself such as these shrimp to surprise her and her kids. Thank you Don Cardi for the ideas!

Absolutely!

You can also use any type of vegetables that you desire, as long as you dice them up very small.

I'm pretty new to grilling myself, turns out I'm good at it and I like it. My fiancee usually does the prep work, but I am wanting to do more.

What do you do to burgers? I use lea and perrins and put those onions I talked about on them.

I think when grilling beef, whether it's steaks or a good burger, less is more. You want to taste that juicy meat that you're spending all that money on.

Medium-rare...nice, maybe top it off with some grilled red onion or a slice of beefsteak tomato, and of course, a generous slice of GOOD cheese, maybe some gorgonzola.

No Kraft singles!!

....topped off with some



for dessert!

Now that's a nice tomato.

Soft, juicey, perky and perfectly ripe!

Or to quote Mama Corleone, "Thats a nice pear (pair)".

If you buy the pre-made hamburger patties, try Sam's Club's brand. I made them recently for the first time, and they were delicious. They were thick and didn't shrink.

i add a little garlic pepper to them while they're on the grill. Sometimes I'll grill some thin slices of ham in a foil pan, and top my cheeseburger with it.

For steaks I often use Montreal seasoning, and prefer them rare to medium rare.

I grill boneless chicken breasts , which I pound into thin cutlets. I might put them in a marinade of terriyaki or Greek dressing. A good marinade is equal parts of orange juice, soy sauce, brown sugar and catsup. Usually though, my kids love to drench the grilled chicken with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce straight from the bottle.

When I pleasured Miss Alba I recall her boobs being bigger.

Of course dreams, like cameras, do add a few pounds.

Some of the juiciest store bought pre-made burgers that I've ever had were from Omaha Steaks. I enjoyed the burgers much better than the steaks. The burgers are really juicy, but i found that the steaks are a little on the dry and chewy side.

When it comes to steaks, there is nothing like a fresh cut filet mignon, porterhouse or rib-eye from the butcher.

Yeah, all of those. I especially like the rib-eye, on the bone, because I like a little fat.

It has to be a butcher cut fresh rib-eye, otherwise I won't eat it.

You're singing to the choir, DC. I haven't missed a saturday morning at the Arthur Avenue Market in I don't know how long.

What a bunch of pansies!! What happened to the gas-passing??? Glad someone at least posted a little eye candy!! Just kidding, guys.

I like to grill pork chops, but they often dry out because you want to make sure that they're cooked thoroughly. I got this recipe for a simple marinade and, as long as you marinade the pork long enough (at least a few hours), the chops come out delicious and juicy.

1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
1 tbs. of ketchup
2 tbs. sherry
Add garlic powder to taste

I also love to wrap fish like shark steaks for the grill. I like to brush them with olive oil, a few pats of butter, and then squeeze lime juice on. I wrap it up, and throw it on the grill.

Thanks for the double-wrappping technique, DC. Never thought of that.

Lamb chops from Vincent's!!!

I agree with you about Omaha Steaks. I was a little disappointed.

Yeah, the yuppies call those "hobo packs" but there's nothing cheap about them. I make them with everything.

Isn't this The Guys Thread?




There is absolutely no question that SPARKS STEAKHOUSE makes the best lamb chops in the world. Simply delicious!

That makes three of us.... aside from their filet mignons being too small, they were too dry.

Yeah, Peter Luger's, too. When I go with a bunch of guys on a he-man woman hater's night, we'll get the lamb chops as an appetizer.

Like finger food for a bunch of animals.

Vincent's is a butcher shop, DC. And a damn good one. And I make the best lamp chops, so there.

Duh, no kidding. You and your Bronx buddy have told us so many times, how could anyone here forget?

DC saw MARTY, with Borginine.

"I'm not goin' out 'ma, cause I'm ugly."

Who's been listening to my private conversations.

Aw, come on Beth, don't say that.

Bronx buddy, moi?

U talkin' 'ta me?

I took one of my Brooklyn friends (Sheepshead Bay) down to Arthur Avenue on a shopping trip. When she walked into Vincent's, the first thing she said was, "A REAL butcher shop!! With sawdust!!!" Until she said that, I didn't realize how few old-fashioned butcher shops are really left.

It's actually illegal to use sawdust on the floor now, Babe. Unless you're "grandfathered" in, under the old laws. Most newer shops use Kosher salt on the floor to stop slippage.

Why is it illegal to use sawdust?? That was the best smell - raw meat and sawdust!!

Anyway, I haven't seen a real butcher here in the 'burbs in years. And it sucks.

Fire hazard.

There are some pretty good "country" type markets up your way, though, no?

The best places are actually in NJ. LOVE Corrado's in Clifton.

Uncle Junior?

Just kidding.

I was down at Fairway Market, at 74th and Amsterdam, yesterday morning. Great place!

A friend of mine, an army colonel who served a couple of tours in Afghanistan, told me about the "butcher shop" he photographed there. A skinned goat, covered by flies, was hanging from the hind legs in the outdoor heat. The butcher would cut a chunk of meat from the carcass and throw it on the scale for customers. My advice is don't buy it late in the day.

Baby goat, capretto, tastes just like lamb. But I'll have mine without the flies, thank you very much.

I haven't been able to find any good capicola anywhere. And is it cap-ee-cola or gabagool?

It's Gobagool!


"Hey, Paulie! I got two gobbagool... gabagol an' a prosciutto!"

Pardon my ignorance, but what is Gobagool? or however it's spelled...

You're not being ignorant. It's pronunciation slang for Cappicola. Another pronunciation for it is gabagoul.



An Italian ham that is prepared by mixing meat from pork necks (capo or head) and shoulders (collo) with seasonings. It is mildly cured and seasoned with hot or sweet peppers, as well as salt and sugar. It is stuffed into a natural casing and air-dried. Capocollo can be prepared hot or cold and served as a snack, an appetizer, or as a main dish. When it is made into a hard dry sausage it is known as Coppa and is very similar to prosciutto. Capocollo is also spelled Capocolla, Capacollo, Cappicola, or Capicola.

I don't love capicollo. I prefer sopresata and prosciutto, which are all salted and cured meats, like a salami.

I'm with you. Gabagoul does nothing for me. Now give me some prosciutto, some sopresata, fresh italian bread and some imported provolone.....NICE!

I like it with salami and pepperoni on a sandwich, but around here the only place that has it isn't very good.

Hot sopressata, give me hot sopressata with fresh mozzarella and roasted peppers. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh boy, some chick just walked by me with an ass like a nectarine.

Yeah, I'll take one of those, too.

My cat, aka Tiger, aka Fur-ocious Furball, is laying on my arms and making it impossible to eat. I'm starving. I've been gone all day so I don't want to just brush him off...

I don't think I've had sopressata, but roasted peppers and mozzarella sounds pretty good.

Is it just me or is it a natural male instinct to wipe everything on your pants?

C'mon boys, don't let this thread die.

PB, PB, give it up, my friend.

NEVER!!

Here is pizzaboy's future wife.

"I have nipples. You think you could milk me"?

Oh, Beth, You DIDN'T!!!

!!

I have that same embarrassing problem... but it's not on my chest.

Gravity hits you in the oddest places.

Ohh, I'm sorry to hear that, do you suffer from Saggy Buttocks?

I don't know why, but this made me laugh out loud. Especially the word buttocks.

If my ass looked like that... I might be able to go fuck myself finally!

Sorry, I could have SWORN that's what you meant.

Here you go pb. Now where's the keys to my co-op?

Even white boys gotta shout, baby got back!

Now she makes Sarah Jessica Parker look some what attractive.

You don't like stick figure women? Cool!

Ughh!!

I hate that chick!!

To be honest, I don't know why most guys do.

hear hear

or is it here here?

Come on boys, join me in the manly man's thread!

Anyone ever see a woman so hot, you gotta go jerk-off in a public bathroom?

Shouldn't have opened the thread, ladies.

nothing can make Sarah Jessica Parker attractive

She's the poster girl for homely women with a dream. That was the whole appeal to that show. It made every plain looking woman in the world think she could land a "Mr. Big."

But she's not even plain. That skanky face, big nose, she could make an onion cry.

she actually scares me,one of my friends once remarked (much to the horror of the rest of us) that shes 'quite cute' i could have cried when he said that

HONEYMOON IN VEGAS (1992) she looked okay. Everything after that, she looks like the victim of bad plastic surgery.

Kristin Davis was the only truly good looking one on the show.

i have had many naughty dreams about that girl after watching the show late at night

Aw, c'mon, SC. How about her?

Your picture of the woman in pantyhose nearly killed this thread as well.

Aw, Amy Sedaris is great! Maybe a tad offbeat...haha But I loved her in Strangers With Candy. Oh, such a funny show, and yet another reason to love Colbert!

But I'm getting off-topic. Although I was never on-topic.

I just wanted to spread girl cooties in the guy's thread.

You go, girl!!!

The sad thing is the guy's probably enjoy it.

I'd love some Amy Sedaris cooties. Funny is sexy.

What about redneck West Virginia backwoods hillbilly cooties PB?

Is cooties what makes it burn when I pee?

Hey fellas, just wanted to say hi and see how things were going. You know, a kind message from us gals in the Ladies' Thread, is all.

Oh, and our good friend BL brought up an interesting topic somewhat recently, that I was hoping to discuss...I'm just having trouble remembering what it was about. Hmm. I'm sure I'll think of it soon enough.


_________________________
Cootie-Tag! The guys are it!

LADY IN THE HOUSE!! Pick up all the girlie magazines and open the windows to air out this joint!!

Hurry, pick up my undies!! wait... why is my underwear stuck to the wall?


Very sneaky there Gina, I almost didn't see that until I quoted you and wondered what all that extra junk was at the bottom of your post

To show everyone that you had a good time?

Oh yeah! That's why every single pair of my undies are on the wall!

Awww...the one flaw in the plan.

But from the way you and SC are talking, I'm not sure I should risk another trip into this place...the Ladies' Thread is SO much more refined. And cootie-free, mind you. We disinfect.

The Ladies Thread is the better thread no doubt about it but sometimes I like to pop in and see how the other half is and spread some redneck hillbilly cooties.

Plus, it is sort of fun to be coarse and disgusting every now and then, just like the guys.

Hey guys, check out this beauty - it's a Hewlett-Packard DFR323 Super-Charged Cootie Detector with the optional Virus Killer attachment. Let's see if it works.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (sound of machine surveying the room).

EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH (sound of machine indicating that "something" was found).

Peeling off the print out to see what was found.

[*] Detected Food Separation Cooties - indicates phobic fear of mixing mashed potatoes and vegetables together.

[*] Detected Smoked Venison Meat Cooties - indicates deer meat farts left behind. Also detected were strange canned pasta indications; unable to decipher.

[*] Detected "Twilight Zone" Music Cooties - subspecies Texan accented.

Guys, I think we had three intruders in here.

Those cooties sound like they belong to three familiar people. Anyone I know?

But I gotta tell you, SC, whoever sold you that Cootie Detector obviously had you fooled about its reliability...if it were any bit useful, it would've detected all the cooties you BOYS have spread!!

Why is it that women never "get" men's fascination with tools? EVERYONE knows the Hewlett-Packard DFR323 is geared for men and already filters out male cooties.

Geeesch.

Ahhh! Geared for men, you say?

So there's no instruction manual, it's easy to put back together since it's almost guaranteed it'll be taken apart at some point, and it 'fixes' the problem of male cooties by simply ignoring it.

God bless ya, gina, you understand perfectly!

Between your love and knowledge of the game of baseball and "The Twilight Zone" we may just have to make ya an honorary member here.

How do you feel about The Three Stooges?

How did my attempt at a playful jab turn into this?

But my understanding comes from the years I've observed my dad, brother, uncles, and two cousins act like 'typical' men. And like the typical gal, I've been in the background, rolling my eyes.

I haven't watched The Three Stooges in a long while, but no worries - my dad raised me to appreciate them!

Gotta ask...would honorary membership make me immune to your cooties? That'd be a nice bonus.

And you know what just popped into my head?

The Curly Shuffle
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FKAfXdb5LsA

Have you heard the song? My parents had a recording I'd listen to when I was very little, and we somehow rediscovered it recently, along with this video. It's a favorite of ours.

Doubtful. Female hormones are impossible for any male to comprehend, and an honorary membership here wouldn't be able to combat those hormones. Talk about jock itch, lies about women we've had and belching, farting and crotch scratching don't mix with female hormones.

Maybe you'll get a partial membership allowing you access to the bar here.

The Curly Shuffle is an old-time favorite of mine. I love Curly! He was quite a character, both on and off screen.

Maybe I'll join you guys for happy hour sometime...and hopefully will get tipsy enough so as not to be bothered by the belching, scratching, farting, etc. That is, IF I'm honored with that partial membership you speak of!

It's a shame we don't offer these memberships over in our thread...but we'd never agree on any because of our mood swings.

This is to certify that ginaitaliangirl is an honorary member of the Guy's thread and is welcome to all Happy Hours in it.

Awww...

And now that I'm on the 'inside,' I'll assume I have the power to dub SB and Mig as honorary members, also. Just wait until we're all here together! We'll bring some chick flicks - Sleepless in Seattle, for sure...tissue boxes are a must, since we'll all be sniffling throughout the movie...some chocolate...and don't worry, we'll be sure to bring some flowers and themed decor to spruce up this place!

You'll be so happy you had us join!

Well welcome aboard, Gi. It's always good to have you. You'll have to forgive the smell in here, but... we fart. Although some more conspicuously and covertly than others I assure you.

And are you guys sure about that name of that song? B/c I was sure it was called The Curly Shovel.

Oh, SC, I can't believe that you had to leave it to Gina to bring us in as members!! You give your loyalty to a Texan before your own fellow New Yawker? For shame!! However, as a typical guy, I will assume that you were distracted by your HP Cootie Detector, and established a relationship with Gina, who was the female present at the time (no disrespect meant to Gina there, btw).

Gina, thank YOU for remembering your fellow ladies. You bring Terms of Endearment, and I'll be sure to bring the scented candles. Oh, and let's not forget the dark chocolate for those certain days of the month (even MENTIONING a woman's cycle is sure to freak the guys out).

Yes thank you my dear Gina for making me a member. I'll bring in Steel Magnolias, a lighter for SB's candles and a bag of Frito's, Warm pj's and fuzzy slippers for us ladies for those cold nights when we stay up late to watch chick flicks.

Note to SC: Since Gina made me a member of the Guys Thread I am taking back my Honorary Italianship you took from me.

That's the same face that Mr. Babe makes, living with all women!! Imagine what it was like around here when those days rolled around AND I was in the throes of nicotine withdrawal!!

Mig, you tell him! You gotta lay those ground rules early.

SC!! What have you done!?

Maybe we should fart up the Ladies Thread!

I fucked up. Royally.

I'm going through the Rules book to see how I can get out of this.

Sorry, guys!!

Wait about 20 minutes... I gotta finish eating all these burritos with extra hot sauce.

Good idea. While normally it's just something we do in our spare time, we have been pushed back to our last line of defense... bodily functions.

We're defending our very homeland. Those last lines of defense will save us!! Dem broads will go running out of here with tears in their eyes!

I just hope it's bad enough to stop them before they come at us with more of that confusing fancy talk about feelings and stuff.

I forgive you for getting us into this situation SC. It's so typical that a girl tricks you into loving her than WHAM! Stabs you in the back! We can pull through this!

Thank you, Blib.... That means a lot that you understand. gina got my head so turned around with all that talk about baseball and "The Twilight Zone" that I was momentarily insane.

I think I found an "out". Our thread bylaws state (in the small-print section): Rule 7A, Section D: Any show of true emotions, brought about by, but not limited to, movies of an emotional manner, may result in the banishment of any member, whether it be a full-fledged or honorary status.

Uh oh... ever see Finding Neverland? I guess I better pack my bags

Hold on JG, there has to be more to that rule because there is no way Field of Dreams is kicking me out of this thread.

...any movie starring Meryl Streep?

Hey give me a bowl of pinto beans and I can fart with the best of them. So bring on the gas it won't make me leave. Remember I'm married to a hillbilly.

OK, you guys are all a bunch of panic-stricken wusses. I can't believe it. Wave a scented candle at you, and you run around like chickens without their heads, eating spicy foods, and trying to work up some gas.

And, just to make you feel more like this is still the Guys Thread, I just saw some Beach Volleyball chick being interviewed about Beijing. She was wearing a VERY tiny bikini, as was the rest of the team, and there was a LOT of jumping around on the sand.

Not so fast, Geoff. You may be safe. A further review of our thread's bylaws shows: Rule 12B, Section F, Subsection 3: An occasional "stray" to one's Feminine Side is quite possible (allowing for stress, alcohol abuse or temporary insanity) and this, in and of itself, should not necessarily be grounds for banishment. The offending member may redeem himself by farting the first stanza of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and then chugging a quart of brew.

Damn.... Mig may have us on a technicality.

Whoa, what happened here?! The emotions are really running wild......and what's funny is the guys are the ones getting most emotional, right SB?

OMG, with Johnny Depp? He's soooo cute.
Oh, oops. Wrong thread.

I am not a backstabber!! Momentarily insane, SC? (In the words of Plaw, from one of his best guilt trips:) That's like a knife to my heart...

All I ever wanted was to bring the guys and gals together in peace and harmony. I never had any evil intentions.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

She's doing it again! Ignore her guys!

I would die for you guys in defence of this thread.

Ignore my little sister?? Just TRY it and see what happens. First you give her honorary membership, then you tease her, and then you try to gas her out.

(stops and takes a whiff of lavender scented candle)

I think what they're saying is, they want the women, but not with what comes along with (some of) them... And certainly not talking about anyone here, right fellas?

Take a whiff of this, baby....

This from the man who never passes up an opportunity to use the word "penis" in a post...

Edit: SC, is that a picture of you trying to light your barbecue on the 4th?

No, silly girl. That's Geoff after drinking a quart of Stoli with a can of beans.

Pork n Beans!!!

Btw, watching the Yankee game right now, and the usually hilarious Cialis ad just came on. My favorite part - "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours..."

(hoping that erections are acceptable Guys Thread chatter)

I was playing nice! Sheesh, nothin' impresses chicks any more?

My Cabana Boy is nothing if not impressive.

I was definitely wondering when the regulars around here were gonna invite you ladies over.

But if we're gonna do this it's gotta be in the traditional (albeit, generally unspoken ) manner...We'll call you guys when we're drunk and you can come over and watch us play Tiger Wood's golf on X-Box, we'll give each other back rubs, and then after a time it generally follows that (hopefully) at least one of you will stay over. But of course, you have to be out early the next morning before anyone wakes up to avoid any morning-after awkwardness. Did I forget anything? I think that's rather standard etiquette when broaching a situation such as this one.

Gee, don't forget that you'd like us to also run a wash and maybe whip you up a casserole before we leave.

Sweet!

You have no idea...

When was Geoffy on a Navy Ship?

Back rubs, Babe. Back rubs.

(You COULD go by the cleaners, ja?)

That ain't happening!!!!!

I was talking about those other guys, Mig. We would NEVER expect that...

I would never want to subjugate our female friends to serving us guys as one of the (self described) irregular members has suggested. I find it demeaning to their feistyness, good humor and importance in my life.

Sure, if the subject comes up.

As if it takes an Egyptian chain gang to cook up some casserole and put a load of clothes in the wash? Right. My mother cooks in her sleep.


(And women need back rubs b/c they're always so stressed-out having to fix a man's screwups all the time.)

^^ BROWNIE POINTS

Oh, Ice, that was a very nice, if transparent, recovery.

SC, us?? Feisty? Whatever do you mean?

Hey... this is the GUY'S thread!! We don't hafta answer PMS-induced questions here if we don't wanna.

Hey, how come the girls are sabotaging our thread? I only posted once on their thread, just to say hello. I want to see posts of 6 foot beach volleyball chicks and 4 foot gymnast chicks who could crack walnuts with their butt cheeks.

Neither of them do anything for me. I can't fantasize about a chick that could beat me up and them little gymnasts remind me of kiddie porn.

Now, if you have a picture of a 5-foot-something gal playing volleyball with her butt cheeks.... THAT'D be something I'd like to see.

I wouldn't call it sabatage

SC, I think you might be on to something......volleybutt, or buttball.....I have to take a shower now.

Oh, Mig....I might just post a picture on the girls thread of me in a thong.

Woo Hoo!! Now that would liven up the thread! We're sick of JG and his thong.

How about SC in a sarong?

Would he be willing to dance the hula?

Limerick time...

There once was a man named Enis...

You can finish the rest, JG.

There once was a Don from Toms River
Whose **** was so short it would quiver . . .

Go for it!!

Here ya go SC:

He told everyone that it was cold
And when that story got really quite old
He'd take it out and show that it would shiver.

Hey!!!

I didn't realize you had hidden cams in here!

So many talented poets here!! Oh, and SC, too.

They're a poet and didn't know it.

Hey, pssst. Is it safe to post again? Did we win the war guys?

Of cousre it's safe to post again.

All right enough of this beating around the bush.....I heard the golfer, John Daly has a really big dick.

If he's got a really big dick I'm sure he is beating around a bush.

or plowing right on through it.

Pffftt...like that was a secret.

Maybe he took alot of Viagra.

I think the wacky broad, Rose, on TWO AND A HALF MEN, is like totally hawt.

She often invades my thoughts while, er, self gratifying.

Don't bitch. It's the guy's thread.

I thought that chick from The Biggest Loser invaded your thoughts PB.

I'm offa her. Too mean.

Well I can't blame you. I wouldn't want a chick who could kick my ass either.

Okay, they created euphemisms for a reason!

Okay.

I use her mental image as lighter fluid for when I'm barbecuing alone??

Is that the proper use of a euphemism?

Wouldn't this be better suited for the Women's thread??

Totally proper, PB!!

I agree with you about Rose, except the whole look with the socks always bothered me. What else could the wardrobe people have done to her that would scream "wacky"?

Mr. Babe used to like the chick from Dog Eat Dog.

I'm sorry SC and all who may have been offended by the colloquial expression for the penis. It was the vodka talking, not me. I'll be more careful next time I have a fantasy about John Daly.

MaryCas, you wanna ask John, "Who's your Caddy"?

Has anyone actually SEEN the video? I mean, if we're talking about the size of his "club", shouldn't we really have visual proof?

You seen him with his hands on his putter?

Visual aids might come in handy

Apparently his member size (not his club) is referenced in his auto-biography. Braggert!

It doesn't get in his way? I guess that's his handicap.

He should put in on a leash.

When I play golf I usually have to ..... wait, this is the guy's thread, right? I usually wash my balls. The cleaner they are, the better chance of getting them in the hole.

*fart*

Your wish is my command

I'm gonna start calling you Pizzagirl after that one, whew.

Well, if you were going to write your auto-biography, wouldn't you be pretty freaking stupid to start it off with, "I'm very happy with my life, except for my small penis"? I mean, who is going to write anything about the size of their penis, except to say that it's enormous??

Hello Guys.

Hey, I tink dears ladies here!

Who farted?

Wouldn't it be a shock if it was you??

Whoever smellt it delt it.

No, that was me. Sorry.

You can blame it on your pain meds.

I haven't been taking any pain meds... I'm trying to tough it out.

Well if you won't take them, I will!

No give them to me for my migraines.

Just don't mix 'em with that moonshine, Miggie!

I think the shine will work all by itself.

If you light a match around PB his ass will blow up, if you light a match around Miggie she becomes a fire breathing dragon.

'

The opening post seems appropriate

appropriate for what?

The relaunch of The Guy's Thread

I don't think we should discuss launching here.

What has happened to this thread? You guys need to fart or something to bring it back to life.

GIRL ALERT!!! GIRL ALERT!!! GIRL ALERT!!!!

You forgot I'm an HONORARY member here

Well, as long as you fart and belch, it's okay I guess...

I can do that Geoff.

Just passing through, scattering scented candles as I skip along merrily.

COOOOOTIES!!!

SB,
Have you ever used Bath & Body Works Wallflowers? I have one in my livingroom. Moonlight Path smells great.

It will make this thread smell great.

I JUST FARTED AND MAN IT SMELLED WONDERFUL....


WIFE DIDN'T THINK SO THOUGH

I hope she gets even with you Logneck.

Well the Ladies Thread is back, so I thought I would bump the Guys Thread.

Guy's! Let's show these ladies how much we really don't care by letting this thread slip to oblivion again!

You think you're going to trick us ladies into responding to you, so that your silly thread is bumped up yet again? You really think that's going to work??

Well, sorry to break it to you, but that ain't gonna happen. Ha!!

*snicker*

*milky way*

*Babyruth*

"No dumb ol' girls allowed!" There, I said it! Long live the guy thread! Keep the thread alive! Girls are doody heads!

I agree no dumb girls allowed but hillbilly girls are.
DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Thought this was worth resurrecting, just for the guys.

Delightful, SB!! Simply delightful!

You almost destroyed us with that one, SB. If only you would have popped in your Celine Dion CD on the way home, that would have did it!

You didn't forget the "Best of Barry Manilow" cd and the tampons did you SB?

Anybody have a cd player so I can play my Air Supply cd?

WOW! Beth dropped the nuke! I'm done! I'm outta here!

Valiant effort Mark... but notice how the rest of us are cowered in the corner, sucking on our thumbs and crying? We don't try anymore.

Blib, is there room for one more?!?

Don't be such a pussy, Mark. This is the Guy's Thread. The women folk are welcome to try to sissy it up, but this is still one place where you don't have to worry about being politically correct.

I just got back from the gym and my balls stink like Pecorino Romano.

And fat women . . . What's the deal with fat women? An affront to society!

You're absolutely right, PB! Stand up, Blib! Thanks, PB! Okay, this time I mean it - "Girls are BIG doody heads!!!" Ah, that feels better!

SC enters the room after having some baked beans for lunch.

He takes out his cigarette lighter.

He lets one fly and lights it.

DAMN... DID YOU SEE THAT ONE, GUYS??

It's ok. I pushed open the daisy curtains and opened the windows and lit up a vanilla candle. It's all behind us now.

Well my balls still smell like grated cheese that's been left out in the sun.

So there!

Beth, if ANYONE on these boards should know better, YOU should! Do you REALLY think that'll help?? I peeled some paint off the walls.

My turn, "BRRAAAPPP!!!". Ahhh, there you go girls - done in by one of your own's recipes! I had Mama Mig's "Tangled Guts & Pig Ears" for lunch! Enjoy!

I'm sitting out in the hot sun and humidity while wearing a dark suit. I think I'm working on a submission for the "How do U Make your Gravy" thread.

By the way, with pizzaboy's present post-gym condition, the vanailla candle isn't going to cut it.

You guys thinking farting and gym smells will do the trick? I've been known to rip one that had St. Bernard's running out of the room.

At times I can be lady like but today is not one of those days. You guys better run I just came in from mowing the grass and I smell worse that PB's balls and SC's baked bean farts.

I'll plug in one of my Bath and Body Works Wall Flowers so it'll smell feminine in here again.

Beth, if you wish to boast, kindly go back to the ladies' thread...our self esteem is still reeling from your tampon comment!

And a cat, too.

Gotta love Beth.... she can rip 'em with the best of us.

She didn't say if it was used or not.

My husband dared his friend to stuff an entire Twinkie into his mouth. When he did, Mr. Babe laughed so hard that he farted. They were sitting on the gym bleachers in the high school at the time, and to this day, his friend swears that Mr. Babe cracked the bleachers.

So, you really think a little sweat and fire tricks are going to do it??

Oh, Beth, I forgot Manilow but I brought Michael Bolton. Is that OK??? And I got some new and improved female sanitary products. I'll do into long detail next time.

Give me a plate of pinto beans and cornbread and my fart will smell worse than all you men's farts put together. Just ask the Col.

I want to ask the Colonel his secret! YOU mow the lawn, Mig?!? I am in awe of the Colonel!

Yes I mow the grass but refuse to use the weed eater.

That's because you don't want cut down your lunch!

I would bring the Michael Buble cd, but that'll just get SC up and busting a move. He's already busted his gut, I don't know if he can handle it.

If the tampon got you Mark, what will the douche bottle do to ya?

On long road trips my family would roll up all the windows in the car, and the person who couldn't take all the smells emitting was a pussy.

I always said I'm just a guy with pom poms.

I got nothin'.

If it wasn't for the pillows Ozzie would have sent me packing.

You know, I was thinking to myself that I'm happy that the Sports threads are lacking the polemic attitudes/arguments that are proving to be divisive elsewhere.

Here we have flatulence that scare small animals. And tampons. That scare grown men. Used? Maybe.

I'm so proud.

Carry on!

It's always an honor when DS shows up!!! He didn't leave anything behind, though.

We need Geoff and DMC next with a rousing yell of "Penis!".

Now would I ever be so childish as that?

penis!

That's one tiny penis.

[Insert JG joke here]

Hey, it's cold in Jersey today!!

Shrinkage!

I WAS IN THE POOL!!

But what will his excuse be tomorrow?

Tomorrow it'll be P=E=N=I=S

(Crap, that's not that big either. )

My brother visited recently. Since he moved out from living with us, I'd missed the old days with him. He brought those memories back in all their glory when he decided to fart numerous times in my presence, finding various ways to pass in front of me when he did it, and then denied all of my accusations. I finally attacked him with air freshener.

He's 24. That, along with this thread, has helped me realize that boys never grow up.

Not true, gina. Many of us have put farting behind us.

You're too cute.

Nah Gina, your brother's barely reached his farting prime yet.

Now Frank can fart just as good as his inlaws can.

In that case, he better be married by the time he reaches it, so that poor gal can suffer instead of me!

Costanza...

Geez, CS, you'll even respond to fart and penis discussions, just so long as it's in the sports forum??

He's such a Sports Slore.

Well, someone has to moderate fart and penis discussions.

Moderate farts are preferable.

As far as moderate penises....I'm not touching that.

See what Bethie did there? We're back to the "size of the boat" discussion.

Great work.

It's nice to hear I did great work where a penis is concerned.

It's been floating on the internet for the last two days, but in case you haven't seen it, here's the video of the return of Zack Morris on Late Night - it's friggin' hilarious.

That's great! I thought that name sounded familiar, so I had to check it out -- it's funny, cuz I've been renting Saved By The Bell now and then from Netflix "for ol' times sake" and otherwise would've missed half the jokes. How the hell hasn't Screetch signed on yet? WTF could he be doing?

Screech was on Celebrity Fit club a few seasons back where he was fighting everyone and threatening to kick to big trainer's ass.

Feels good to be in a great place with cigar smoke where I can kick my shoes off, lean back in a recliner, watch any television show/sports I want, burp at will and tell my woman to fetch me a cold Diet Coke...AAHH! This is livin'! (Please nobody wake me - I know this is a dream!)

Diet soda??? No girly diet soda allowed in this thread.

Around here the women would pour the diet coke on your head.

Ahhhhh.... CHICK IN THE THREAD!!! Everyone let loose with a fart!

Oh wait, it's Beth... she can fart with the best of us. Never mind.

Yeah, and watch it. I had beans for dinner last night too.

EXTINGUISH ALL SMOKING MATERIALS!

And hide the ducks.

A girl has to do what she has to do for some privacy. There's not better way to clear a room.

In my best Urkle, "Did I do that"?

Did you do that?????

You peeled paint off the walls!!!

Way to go, Beth!!

Whew!! That makes the eyes water.

Water? I'm crying a river here!!

Well my dear you asked for it.

I just couldn't post THIS in General so figured this would be the right place for this shit. Literally.

(No interloping girls better complain! )

How did you find this Geoff? That was funny.

Judging by a few choice words (loo), this guy was probably British.....Yogi B, was that you?

I'm glad it's cooler today. Maybe my balls won't be so sweaty.

In my best Alec Baldwin..."No one can resist your schweddy balls".

Ewwwww... there's a ball sniffer in here.

There's no beating balls.

Those are two words that don't belong together.

Fantastic, JG!

That brings me to a question I have always wondered...what's the difference between "breakin' balls" and "bustin' balls"?

Breakin' balls sounds more painful.

breaking balls is "Hey Favre, you got any Vicodin on ya? it's painful watching you play!"

busting balls is "Hey Favre, you gonna come out with your own brand of flip flops?"

So, "bustin' balls" is good natured buddy ribbing and "breakin' balls" means one better be ready to throw down if necessary?

Yeah just ask John Bobbit.

Are you guys starting to randomly grunt? Probably because football season is coming.

I love the Raiders.

The Raiders have a nice logo, I could look at it for hours.