Funny Sopranos Moments/Jokes

The main point is to post jokes from the show and/or funny moments. It's a great series that can be darkly funny at times.

Season 4 when Tony tells Christopher to write somehting down but he doesnt have a notepad. Chris ends up writing the noted on his pillow and Ade says, " What the fuck?"

When Junior was lost and says to one of the cops who come to help him "Go shit in your hat". Cracked me up every time.

When Paulie cracked the landscapers helper in the head with a shovel and cut the rope was hilarious.

Two Paulie moments:
One when they're in Italy and Paulie says "I gotta hoof it back to the hotel...I Gotta take a wicked shit"

And two when he rants about shoelaces and public bathrooms "shoelaces..Why would they be wet?" and "in the women's john, you could eat maple walnut ice cream from the toilets!"

Funniest moment for me is when Ralph pranked called Paulie's mom, that was hilarious.

Lol he came flying out of the tree at me with a chainsaw Tone.

haven't i got a right to defend myself.

Pauly and Christopher looking for the Russian when tony calls on a bad signal , omg ur not gonna believe this , guy killed 16 Czech repulicians he was an interior decorator , Christopher his house looked like shit hahaha

You know, my grandfather always said, " Go shit in your hat and pull it over your ears"

'isnt it funny that lou gehrig died of lou gehrigs disease'

christopher

i found that quite amusing

Any relation to Lou Gehrig?

Did you hear about the Chinese GodFather?
He made them an offer they couldn't understand

When Paulie sorts out the dvd player.

A "rogaine adjustment" or something along those lines.

One of my all-time favorite moments was when Janice asked Tony what they did with Richie Aprile's body:

Tony: "We buried him. On a hill. Overlooking a little river. With pine cones all around."

Janice: with a hopeful tone of "You did?"

Tony: "Come on Janice. What the f--k."

Paulie getting three zingers on Christopher's daughter. Yeah, low and crass, but funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gLW5ICEnik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDxhBR2Tmes

FUCKIN' QUEERS! *hucks a chair*

any scene where Paulie gets all worked up cracks me up.

Also, when Chris and tony rob the bikers, then make fun of them later over dinner:

http://youtu.be/XrLHT-PGhdo?t=1m11s

Hey, you're messing with the Vipers here!

I also loved when Paulie lost his shoe in the Pine Barrens episode and then made a shoe out of the van carpet. When that fell off, he started shooting at it shortly before Tony & Bobby found them.

And the rant by Tony to Silvo at the end of "Christopher."

"Did you get all this 'cause you're Italian? No, you got it 'cause you're you, 'cause you're smart, 'cause you're whatever.
Where the fuck is our self-esteem? That shit doesn't come from Columbus, or The Godfather, or Chef fucking Boyardee."

Chrissy referring to Jackie Jr as "Little Lord Fuckpants"

"Little Lord Fuckpants...who's moniker is that," so sayeth the most clueless FBI agent on the planet.

I always loved when Chris called Junior Mr. Magoo...gets me every time.
Also during the Christmas episode when they need to find a new Santa and Bobby doesn't wanna do it because he's "Shy"
Paulie walks over and says "The Boss of this family says you'll be Santa, so you'll be Santa. So Shut the fuck up about it!!!"

Then Bobby gets pissy with the kids, and the one goes "FUCK YOU SANTA!" That scene is always great for a laugh.

When Livia comes into the house when shes been wandering the streets.

then says something like - "not whilst that fascha brute is in the house hunny bunch"

anyone know the real italian for what she was saying ?

Faccia brutta - ugly face.

Artie serves a fancy quail dish at his restaurant.

Paulie says politely, "Can I get AIDs from eating this?"

And Sil piling on, insinuating that the bird was really a pigeon taking a shit on the sidewalk earlier.

Cheers for the translation Its-da-jackeeetttt(lol at your name also just got that you meant Richies jacket).

Paulie: You didn't go to hell. You went to purgatory, my friend.
Christopher: I forgot about purgatory.
Paulie: Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise.
Christopher: How long do you think we've got to stay there?
Paulie: That's different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.

Thanks -- I originally wanted the avatar of Richie giving Tony that hideous jacket, but it's a bit too big.

Richie April was such a prick of a character that it's too bad he wasn't around for one than one season. I would have loved to see the budding war between Richie & Janice with Tony. But the way it ended, with the priceless look Tony gave when he walked into the house seeing Richie sprawled out dead, was one of the best moments of that season.

Which reminds me of great line Tony had to Richie, when Richie had a nice bouquet of flowers: "Did you steal those from the funeral home yesterday?"

That was a great zinger.

Killing off Richie before the end of Season 2 was one of those things that bugged me about the series. Like Ralph and Tony Blundetto, these were potential rivals for Tony that didn't deserve the one season and done treatment. OK, Ralph was between Seasons 3-4, but that's 20 episodes tops (I don't think he was in Pine Barrens).

It would have been interesting to see Richie and Ralph working against Tony, or even Ralph and Feech LaManna (with Feech pulling Tony Blundetto into his sphere of influence). That way, those characters would have been developed over a course of three or four seasons, and you're not rushing to figure out who the hell the New York players -- Gerry Torciano, Doc Santoro, etc. -- are in the second half of Season 6.

Anyway, pulling this thread back on track -- just before Richie gives Tony the jacket, Tony gets another shot in. "What brings you to an English speaking neighborhood." Richie just has to sit there and take the shot, but you can see him boiling inside.

Agree that Richie & Ralph would've been great to see fight Tony. I liked how when Feech was giving Tony agita, Tony wisely recalled "Did I learn nothing from Richie Aprile?"

I like when Tony is getting nosy and asking Janice about her boyfriend (Ralph at the time if I remember correctly). Janice says to Tony, my love life is none of your business Tony. Tony says, I think it is my business...considering I had to haul your last boyfriend out of your kitchen in a Hefty bag.

Sil's a nasty fuck when hes gambling.

This fucking morons playing Hazel. Leave the fucking cheese there. I love fucking cheese at my feet. I stick mother fucking provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sisters crotch in the morning.

So leave the fucking cocksucking cheese where it is !!!

Why don't you go fix a dick or whatever the fuck it is you do.

And Tony sends Matt Bevilacqua in there to clean up, knowing Silvio would have a meltdown.

Silvio: "You - cheese f--k."

Get me some food!

Uncle Junior' Soprano: How much White Castle did you have?

I can smell it !

After Gloria throws the roast beef at Tony, he goes over to Uncle Jun's house. As soon as he walk in, Junior picks up the scent and says "what've you been eating - steak?"

Or after ripping Bobby for (allegedly) going to White Castle, after Tony leaves, Junior continues busting his chops -- "Think on this, Burger Boy..."

Such a childish insult, yet so poignant.

"Quasimodo predicted all of this."

Good old Bobby. You have your Hunchback of Notre Dame and your Quarterback of Notre Dame.

The best moment with Bobby is when he says to Tony "to the victor goes the spoils"
Tony goes "Why don’t you get the fuck out of here before I shove your fuckin' quotation book up your fat ass!!"

He's probably one of the only characters you don't hate at any
point in the series, well-liked and respected by everyone.

Or later in that episode, when he waddles out of his car, and Tony suggests he start considering salads. A friend and I would reference that line constantly when referring to a few well-fed coworkers (especially the one that had cheese fries with ranch dressing at every lunch).

I liked Bobby's character -- in a world of sociopaths, he was the closest thing to a gentleman. Bobby took a lot of flak from Tony, but even he had limits -- the fight obviously, but even when Tony was mocking his hunting gear in Pine Barrens.

Tony often demeaned Bobby. He kind of backed off after seeing Bobby's father and told the dad how much he appreciated Bobby looking after Uncle Junior. And in Pine Barrens, Tony even went so far to apologize for mocking Bobby's hunting outfit and thanking him for the help with Uncle Junior.

There was a scene is Season 2 where Tony ripped into Bobby about his weight. Tony pulls away in his SUV and Bobby says "take a look at yourself in the mirror" and spits on the ground in disgust.

Then once Bobby hooked up with Janice, Tony started back again on Bobby. That was more passive-aggressive tactic really aimed at Tony's disgust with Janice, so Bobby took the brunt of it.

Seemingly in that scene(pine barrens episode) where Bobby walks in with the hunting gear on, he had a huge dildo in his hand, which is why James Gandolfini is really laughing.

That's hilarious. No wonder Tony's almost on the floor laughing as well.

AJ's best line in the entire series -- "So that's a crack whore."

One of my favorite Paulie moments was when he went to the hospital after Tony was shot. Either Carmella or Janice warned Paulie that Tony didn't look too good. Regardless (or irregardless as Paulie would say), he walks in and takes one look at Tony and says "Marone - he looks terrible!"

"Or the girl he crippled when he flipped over the car? Is she there, drinking champagne with you in her wheelchair?" - Tony to AJ in "Cold Stones"

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvXX7v2qkOo

Paulie's being Paulie, and just like any other time, Tony's heart rate goes through the roof.

At gigis wake the crew is sitting around and Tony is asked who might be succeeding gigi as capo. The camera slowly pans on the crew, one doïng his nails, Christopher dozing off, someone who resembles Peter lorre, and an incredibly bored Ralph. Tony looks at them and then looks like he is lost and without a clue. An amusing and well conceived scene.

When Uncle Juniors visiting all the funerals so he can get a day out from house arrest.

Chickens, nice and spicy huh ?

Two more:
I liked in Members Only, just before Junior shoots Tony, they have a funny back & forth. Junior declares: "I had a banana in there"
Then he yells that pussy malanga is after him and Tony says "I'll get J. Edgar Hoover right on it.

Also, I always found it funny and ironic how they had Phil "come out of the closet" when he killed Vito, great writing.

Earlier in that episode, Tony lectures AJ on how friends let you down, and how family are the only ones you can depend on.

Well, the Soprano family wasn't exactly normal...

Haha yeah, unless its Livia and Uncle Junior of course, they'll try to have you whacked out. Not to mention Janice's stirring of Richie Aprile.

He couldn't sell it..... but he had the jacket lol.

That sounds as if Melfi got through to Tony a little bit. After all, Livia told AJ that everyone lets you down and you die alone. She wasn't exactly the stereotype "fun" grandma...;)

Just thought of another perfect Paulie moment. In Blue Comet (my favorite episode) at the end when they're at the safehouse, Carlo suggests they order a pizza. As Tony walks up the stairs, you can hear Paulie yelling "and make sure we get paper plates, we ain't got any here!!" He's in the middle of a war, some of his best friends have been killed and he's hiding in a safehouse, and this is what he is worried about.

He's what my father would have called a wonderbread wop.

He eats his Sunday gravy out of a jar.

It was great when Tony goes to Bobby and Janice's for dinner. This was after Janice had attended anger management classes and was being nice to everybody including telemarketers. Tony brings up her son Harpo at dinner and continues to needle Janice ending with the classic line that sends her into a rage "Sacre bleu where is me mama". I know it's a little cruel but coming from Tony I thought it was witty and hilarious.

There's another family dinner in "Where's Johnny?" where Janice picks up the pasta dishes from Vesuvio rather than cook it herself.

Tony gets a little shot there -- "Well, sit down and dig into this medley of pastas that Janice whipped up..." Just one more thing for him to poke at her about.

The conversation between Tony and Janice about Livia's funeral is priceless "Us working folk can't just hop on a plane" "Oh, listen to Woodie Guthrie over here", then Carm's parents come in and ask how Tony's doing and all you can here in the back is Tony yell "Oh, what the fuck! Goddamn fucking bitch!!!"

I can see why Tony loathed her; Janice was a female version of him -- ruthless, conniving, prone to rage.

This scene is great too -- Janice calls out Tony and Carmela for Meadow's non-punishment, and Tony chucks his bowl of cereal across the room. Also love how Tony goes from intently reading the back of the Honey Comb box to making Hindu references.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKp2-6EMbI8

Keep in mind that Janice only got upset when she realized that she would have to clean the mess. Before that she was always of the opinion that Tony and Carmela were too strict and she attempted to balance that - letting Meadow drive her to buy weed etc. First Janice got good news - her govt. check then opened the door and saw the bad news.

Theres a scene when Janice first arrives and shes pops out back to smoke her reefer.

Tony follows her out and asks for a sly toke, Janice says something like "ohh who's the boss here".

Not sure why but it makes me laugh but it does.

Not only that, but they're both ridiculously hypocritical. totally agree that Janice and Tony are similar on many levels. There only real difference is that Tony has a dedication to his life and his family, Janice has more a devil may care attitude, but ultimately, they were both selfishly destructive in their own ways.

I had a friend once describe Janice as an underachieving Tony.

I always found it interesting how Janice seemed to latch herself onto many of Tony's guys (Richie, Ralphie and Bobby) and they all turn up dead one way or another. It was like she was cursed. I don't know which relationship pissed Tony off more: Richie or Ralph. Personally, I think he was angry that she was with Richie while he was just plain disgusted that she was with Ralph.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JwRVwtEMHQ

At 1:40, Tony gets the shot into Richie about grabbing BJs off the couch. Richie grabs that fork, and you if Tony weren't the boss, Tony would be minus an eye.

My favorite moment for Richie and Janice is when they walk into Junior's house and find his arm stuck in the drain "You're flexinnnn"

Great video find it's da Jacket! Great character was Richie!

The end of a great Character:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X6AaNbZZfQ

I was out for a walk tonight in North Beach - the San Francisco version of Little Italy. Like in NY it borders Chinatown, actually in SF everything borders Chinatown, and I was reminded of the scene where Butch is talking on his cell with Phil and as he's talking he's walking and after the conversation ends he stops, looks around and gets a "what the fuck?" look on his face.

When Agent Harris is going on about the parasite he picked up and Chrissy's like - fuck him, i hope that parasite eats his asshole out.

AJ getting fired from Blockbuster and Tony and Carmela's perplexed response.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVbhXkawZzM

ya flexinnn.....YA FLEXXXXXXXING!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-jFQ9T081U

Check out Richie's reaction when Junior talks about dialing the plumber with his toes.

One of Richie's best scenes. I loved when he used his exaggerated Italian accent.

The actor who played Richie Aprile was also a true Italian tough guy on "Everybody Loves Raymond." When the Barrones went to Italy, he was the father of a gorgeous woman that Robert met. He had the Joe Pesci-like toughness of a short guy who looked like he could whip Robert's 6'7" ass.

Haha thats it simmer down, simmer down....

That reminds me of the scene where Richie blows up in the poker game when he tells Dave Scatino: "I should stab ya in the fahkin' eye" with that scary look on his face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7BHfJOgm80

That whole scene is pure gold, from the moment Richie steps inside "Look at THIS fuckin' lineup!" to when Chris touches him and he immediately turns around and starts threatening Chris "Git your hands offa me or I'mma put one in your head!" "Don't threaten you? I got a HARD-ON for you already... just gimme a reason."
Richie is like a barrel full of gunpowder... all he needs is one little spark.

That's one of my favorite episodes of The Sopranos. So many great one liners -- "Chairboy of the Board...read your cards" -- to the numerous outbursts, be it from Sil, Richie, Tony or Eric Scatino.

When Juniors explaining the day time TV show to i think its Bobby, he says something like "shes a boutana this one", i have no idea what boutana means but it makes me laugh every time.

And the other scene where hes talking about the Italian movie with Jesus hanging from a helicopter lol.

You mean Puttana. That's means whore

Funny scene Afrend

The movie I think was La Dolce Vita.

Junior's line was, "They said in the guide it's an Italian movie, but even with the captions I can't tell what's what. They had Jesus hanging off a helicopter, but you could tell it was a dummy."

Haha thats great. I love learning all the Italian slang words, i had a feeling it meant whore.

When Vito Spatafore goes sit in Tony's chair and it breaks off and he falls, and everyone starts laughing.

Yeah....right after he tells Adriana she should play Lynyrd Skynyrd at her club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj-THLFOF4A

when tough guy wannabee Artie gets hit with the soda during the Columbus Day protest and hides in the car. The scared rabbit look on his face and the way he cowered in the back seat peeping out through the window was priceless.

He was even more ridiculous when doing his pseudo-DeNiro "Taxi Driver" bit before meeting with Jean Philipe. Standing there in front of his practicing what he would say to get his $50,000 back showed how much of a tough guy Artie was not.

It probably was not funny, but definitely was pathetic.

My favorite Artie moment - hands down - was when he blew away the rabbit in his garden. With a shotgun no less.

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17lV8KznLL4[/video]

I quite liked when he beat Benny Fazio up, finally he was able do something, only hes lucky he was friends with Tony or he would have been clipped most likely.

You dont shit where you eat and you certainly don't shit where i eat lol.

The video cuts too quickly to get a good look, but is that a scope on Artie's gun?

Agreed - great episode. When Tony is talking with Uncle Jun in the doctors office and the topic of Ercoli comes up Tony says that he remembers his parents arguing and his mother mentioning something about his fathers "feeble minded brother"
then he says to Junior "I always thought she meant you".
Up to that point Tony had it buried in the back of his mind that Junior was a little "special".

I always liked the scene when Tony chases Phil down in that car chase. The song on Tony's radio is "rock the casbah" and you can tell he enjoys the whole chase. Phil throws his ice cream out the window casually, and crashes into a truck. Tony's "Mister, are you okay??!!" was classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKzQB1g0W2g

Rock the Casbah - Shah of Iran

Artie actually shoots the rabbit with a .22 rifle,not a shotgun. What appears to be a bottom barrel is actually the loading tube which typically holds around 15 cartridges.

Thank you. I suspected as much, but aside from the scope, I couldn't slow it down enough to confirm.

I didn't come out here to buy you a couple of shineboxes.

you look like a Puerto Rican whore!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHubo-kaJfA

Vito, Jr., getting fresh with not one, but two family bosses.

Lol vito jr didn't take shit from no one.

Im still not sure why he felt the need to shit in the shower though.

Shock factor.

To me, the Phil scene scene recalls the Pilot where Tony runs down Mahaffey. Tony jumps out of the car and, for the benefit of the onlookers asks "are you okay?" Then he proceeds to punch Mahaffey in the leg that is being held in pain from being run over.

Noticed that too -- to both Mahaffey and Phil, it's a subtle hint that no Good Samaritans are going to intervene.

Would Tony not have been whacked for putting his hands on another made man, even if it was justified ?

Assuming Phil was made or was he a capo at this point.

But Phil was not paying up on an ordered tribute, so I wonder if that would have been overlooked.

Tony did have to compensate it (okay, Angie's body shop bore the brunt of it).

Always found this scene hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTevfi4uF8A

The golfer? US Open?

Didn't he almost drown in two inches of water.

I love that scene. Jackie Jr. pretending to be a bigshot, like a kid on the playground pretending he's an astronaut.

When Big Pussy starts thinking hes an FBI agent following Moltisanti on the pokemon heist, then fucks it all up.

loll!

Jackie Jr. was such a dumbass. From that same storyline, later in the episode, I like when Jackie goes to visit Matusch in the hospital. "Didn't you mention my name?" asks Jackie to Matusch, who had the tar beaten out of him. "Yeah, but I don't think they like you."

Nobody liked Jackie, Jr. Remember when Richie was trying to marshal Junior's support, and Jackie's talking tough? Junior gives him the greatest "Go Fuck Yourself" insult.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-ClIxlVdlo

When Curb Your Enthusiasm comes on the television, and Uncle Junior thinks it's him and Bobby

That always made me chuckle too. But the cynic in me thinks it was just HBO doing some shameless self-promotion.

It probably was a lame cross-promotion -- sort of like Tony inexplicably watching "Band of Brothers" in Season 5, three years after the miniseries ran.

What kind of likeness is that ?



Uncle Junior Soprano Court Artist's Drawing Scene

I like when Chrissy goes into the Bing and tries to shoot the place up but had no bullets in the gun and Silvio gets on the bull horn saying "You know what to do down there!"..."It's all over everybody, enjoy the evening...Unhappy customer".

Also the scene when Sil calls Tracee a little Bukyak!..and Ralphie's in the window cracking up

When Vito says he can probably get a note from his doctor why he was gay.

lol.

AIDS?!

http://youtu.be/dKMQpu_JKMQ?t=3m41s

Oh my god that was one of the most underrated lines of the entire show... the sheer ridiculousness of Vito's explanation is astounding.

To to mention Tony's response -- "A note from your doctor sayin' you don't like to suck cock?"

Of course Tony said that so loud, people could hear it in the mall parking lot.

One funny thing I remember is Tony and Uncle Junior are sitting together discussing Ralph insulting Ginny. And Junior goes on to say these new mobsters have no respect etc. And then right after he marks a remark about Carmine Lupertazzi having fish lips lol.

Another one I always like is when Paulie and tony and chris are at dinner with dates and the one girl says the dinosaurs where killed by meteors. And Paulie remarks that they were "all meat eaters"

and chris replies with " Meteor Meteor!" Lol and just how pisse Paulie is for being corrected

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27TJZzgNtwU#t=55

Drinks on me!

As Lefty Ruggerio put it best in Donnie Brasco...

"Wiseguy never pays for a drink. Always on the arm."

Silvio when hes doing his Godfather impressions when Big Pussy has just come back.

Is it true Michael ?

No, you schifosa.

when Tony is at Jacie jr's funeral with Uncle Jun and they are talking about Jackie. And tony remarks that stupidity would be pretty much a learning disability.

Im sure thats the scene Uncle Junior says something like, didn't Jackie Jr drown in like 2 feet of water lol.

At the penguin exhibit. Lol, that guy could drown in a glass of chocolate milk.

Jackie Jr. sure brought out the best in Junior.

Remember when Richie brings Jackie with him to discuss the move on Larry, Albert and Tony? Jackie starts running his mouth, and Junior gives him the ultimate "fuck off" in acting like there's some invisible asshole speaking.

Pissant nobody talking big about killing a capo. That's rich.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kFcNj2H3z0

Haha "is somebody talking here".

Good call its_da_Jackeetttt, loved that scene too.

Junior when hes telling Tony that some people are so far behind in the race, that they think there leading.

Thats cute.

I remember my mother and my father arguing about something and she kept talking about my father's feeble minded brother and I always thought she meant you.

I couldn't stop laughing when Ralphie killed that whore Tracee.

Season 2, Episode 7 when those kids are being real jerk offs and Christopher gets one of them to stand up, whispers in his ear and this fucking schmucks smirk is just /gone/ from his face. Made me die in laughter.

This Moltisanti kid has got his head up his ass.

This is a great Gladiator movie ? Look at Kirk Douglas's hair.

THEY DIDN'T HAVE FLAT TOPS IN ANCIENT ROME !

Later in that scene I was cracking up Silvio shows up to get Tracey cuz shes been missing work. Silvio and Tracee r by the car she mouths of he SLAPS her Ralph in the window laughing lol

How is that funny?

It's funny because it was a TV show! It's not like it happen in real life, where some lunatic murdered about half a dozen dancers/strippers/hookers/fregusons/prostitutes/escorts in Atlantic City or right outside Atlantic City NJ these women were whores but they were someones sister cousin mother

Another toothpick was a great episode too

burt Young did a great job , MORE FUCKING STAIRS HAHA LOL

Season 3 was pretty flawless in my opinion

Ill leave you here, you one shoe COCKSUCKER !

You and Tony Egg..

Feech bringing over the dandelions for a salad, then Tony mentions they're from the spot where all the neighborhood dogs go to piss. Junior about pukes right then and there.

Always loved that scene.

Make us a couple of eggs.

Just recently re-watched "Knight in White Satin Armor." The look on Tony's face when he sees Richie, likely dead, and Janice kneeling down, is absolutely priceless. I had the feeling he wanted to let out the biggest laugh and he had to suppress his joy. I thought it would've been great if he said "Janice, thanks for doing this. I was going to whack him and you saved me the trouble."

That scene reminded me of "A Christmas Story" where the wife hides her laughter when the Old Man's attempt to glue the leg lamp failed.

Christopher, self-professed movie guru, fucking up the name of Luca Brasi.

Like Adrianna said, he "manuged" to screw up a lot of things...


In the scene where Chris shoots the bakery clerk in foot, recalling Imperioli's own role in "Goodfellas," the actor who played Vito makes his first appearance. But the bakery clerk referred to him as "Gino." Gino must not have been a made guy because Christopher told the guy to go away.

Gino and Vito were two separate characters. As the story goes, Joe Gannascoli had befriended Benicio Del Toro, who put him in contact with Georgianne Walken, who was the show's casting director. The one-off appearance led to a regular role the next year.

The bakery clerk played a key role in Boardwalk Empire season 4 (SPOILER: The undercover agent)

How about Tony confronting Christopher about the bakery shooting? Slapping Christopher's head against the side of the car while Christopher is driving...yeah, no risk of losing control of the car at all.

Always got a kick out of the scene where Junior got his hand caught in the disposal. When Janice & Richie come into the house, they find Junior on the verge of tears. Then Richie tries to help Junior and delivers my 2nd favorite Richie Aprile line: "you're flexxxxxxxxxin" (2nd only to "it's the jackkkkeettt").

Or that follow up scene with Catherine Romano when she mentioned stopping by that afternoon, but nobody seemed to be home. But she could hear groaning inside.

At the beginning of season two, Tony regrets that he had to meet with Bobby Baccala as an intermediary to Junior. "If I’d have known you were gonna get out so fast with this medical shit I never would’ve talked to that calzone with legs."

Earlier in the episode, Bobby meets with Tony in a parking lot and Tony starts off with "I think it's time for you to seriously consider salads."

"Ever take a look in the mirror you fat fuck"

That's hilarious afriendofours

I remember that one. Bobby could barely get out of the car and had to pull himself out by using the roof of the Cadillac!

Most funny episode for me was when Tony went to Vegas and ate mushrooms with that girl

Also most funny scene was when Tony got into a drunken fight with Bobby after busting his balls

Tony has some good ones in that scene...

"A German Shepherd's shaved asshole won first prize."

"Under the boardwalk with his schlong in Jan's mouth..."

when butchie was threatening tony for visiting phil after his heartattack

when adrianna's dumb ass got n the car n didn't notice all those woods

when tony ran and didn't tell johnny sac that the feds were coming

Jackie Junior's funeral - the Essex County cops are making gamblng busts. Meanwhile, Junior is on temporary release (presumably) for the the funeral, sees the cops, and makes the old man run to the car and leaves Bobby behind.

Bobby actually got in the car at the funeral. Kind of ironic that Junior doesn't practice what he preached. Recall Season 1 when he blasts Big Pussy, "We don't run. It's embarrassing."

That episode ("Army of One") actually had its funnier moments. When Tony sees Junior at the funeral luncheon, Junior has this to say about Jackie: "Kid was always a dumb fuck, though, wasn't he? Didn't he almost drown in three inches of water?"

Then Ralph is trying to avoid paying Paulie for a heist in which Paulie provided a tip. At the meeting with Sil & Paulie, Ralph excused himself pretending that it was Tony on the phone. In reality it was Vito just getting Ralphie out of the meeting.

"Tony, what is it? It's really Vito.
You said to call in five minutes.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not doing nothing important right now.
Uh, i'm watching a guy clean his windshield.
He's got a green hat on.
It's that big? Some birds up ahead flying.
Some weeds across the street there.
Well i can be there in a half hour? I think i see a rabbit or a squirrel.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's a possum.
No, i'll see you then.
What can do i? To be continued, looks like.
Tony needs me.
We'll work this out another time."

How could I have forgotten Bobby's three yard dash?

I think if he & Vito would have ever run against each other in a race, a sinkhole would have opened up instantly. And "no mas" would have been heard from the heavens...

And the guys would probably take action and place a couple of bets themselves on who would win, on the laps, etc.

In season 6.2 when Silvio goes "So I heard Vito Jr. ate shit in a bathroom?" Lol! That's not word for word btw

When Phil Leotardo said "Let me tell ya a couple of three things"

Do you have the link for that gaspipe interview that you have quoted under your post? Sounds funny.

Then Tony says "No, no.. he took a shit in the boys showers"
And then Silvio sarcastically: "Glad we got that straight"

Check your PM.

How about when Johnny wanted to whack Ralphie and Carmine goes "Ralph slept with Ginny?". Johnny's face when Carmine said that was hilarious. And in the same convo Johnny goes "What's next he gets to fuck her for a million?!" Carmine: "He wants to fuck her too?" Lmao

You will have our sausages lol.

I only thought there were two kinds of sausages - Italian and Jimmy Deans.

Haha great, Chrissy saying that is why the line from Emil Kolar makes me laugh so much.

Then you have Vito on the lam at the cafe ordering Jimmy Deans...thought for sure Johnny Cakes was going to backhand him for being an idiot.

Lol, Johnny Cakes is like to Vito - "You will have our sausages, there made in-house"

I Crack up everytime he calls him EMAIL ... haha

It's laughable those two thought they were going to solve the Triboro Towers contract on their own (at least that was the pretense Christopher gave E-Mail for the Satriale's meeting).

How about Janice and Aaron Arkaway lecturing Tony on not drinking alcohol, but Janice has cocaine still visible on the outside of her nose?

loll! I don't remember that...

It's in "The Telltale Moozadell," at Carmela's birthday celebration.

Tony offers Aaron champagne, which he declines due to God not wanting us to be drinking. Tony points out that Jesus drank wine, to which Janice chimes in about Jesus being Jesus. Tony notices the hunk of booger sugar on her nose, and very unsubtlely points it out.

Speaking of Carmela's birthday, what ungrateful kids she raised.

Kind of obscure but I always crack up when. . After Ralph beats Tracy to death. .and Tony slaps him around. ..Paulie thinks his big crime was disrespecting the bing and his boss etc.

Tony:"Cocksucker was way out of line....
this girl."

Paulie:
"That too".

I cant help but laugh at how screwed up his priorities are... ..

Another Paulie scene that is hilarious / twisted is when he is meeting with Tony at the Bing and Ralph is leaving to go see his kid in the hospital.

Tony mentions to Paulie how Ralph is still earning even with his son's tragedy. Lol Paulie responds by saying

"I don't care if he has 100 kids in the ICU with arrows in their head."

the guys son is in the hospital brain dead / clinging to life and Paulie is pissed because he pranked called his mom.

I loved this scene a friend of ours, the chase between Tony and Phil was great, he was listening to "Rock the Casbah"
Then when he goes up to Phil's car: "Oh, mister, are you okay?"
Gets me every time.

You Never Disappoint

haha thanks

OT, but one of those things that sort of irritated me about how the Furio character was treated -- up until the Pontecorvo game robbery, he's Tony's most feared soldier. But after that, it's like he turns into a wuss.

Haha, American women and life desensitized Furio into a bisnitch.

You could tell when Furio first comes over and Tony listens to him raving about the cable TV shows that he had to put Furio to work instantly on a violent job lol

Two more just came to mind.

1) When Richie gives Tony the Rocco DeMeo jacket, Richie brags about his own toughness in getting the jacket. Richie is telling the story to Tony while Junior & Bobby are nearby. Richie described Rocco as the toughest guy in Essex County and never came back after dealing with Richie. I don't think he meant it with mean spiritedness, but Junior responded "He later died of Alzheimers."

2) Aaron, Janice's narcopletic boyfriend, sees Jackie Jr. for a second time and asks "have you heard the good news?" Jackie delivers his best line "We met. Thanksgiving." But it was in a sarcastic tone of "you dumb ass I heard this one already."

"If you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad waiting in the car who wants to tongue my balls."

Classic Uncle Junior.

The Sopranos - Chris Moltisanti Business Slow Quote Scene

There was some real shitty acting in that scene, particularly the frat boys in the front of the parlor.

I must have missed it, wasn't really paying attention until the office scene.

Another funny scene from season 2 is the Bing toilet scene with Bevalaqua, Gismonte and Tony.

Tony Soprano – Jesus fucking christ, you stupid little shit-eating twat. You ever hear of wiretaps?

as he rustles gismonte's t-shirt lol.

I chuckle each time Bevilaqua calls his partner out loud "Gis!" the funniest being when he gets shot in the head by Chris and he yells out "Oh no! Gis! Giiiis!" Lol! What kind of idiot do you have to be, to allow yourself to be called something that sounds exactly like "jizz?"

I laugh so hard when Tony tests Janice to see if she can control her anger and of course she can't


(Start it at 2:30)
http://youtu.be/Vb7SWFgSf7o

Sacrè bleu! Where is me ma?

Fucking guy's fearless for his size. - Bobby

That's nice.
Then what? He fucking dies, i can't even wear his shoes. - Uncle Junior

What the fuck you talking about? - Bobby

Fucking loser.
He couldn't sell it. - Uncle Junior

"Its just a stutter step.." - Dave Scatino

The rationality of a gambling addict.

"Hey Rich, that envelope is 2 Cs shy (200$) I'll catch up with it next week, you know I took a second on my house, didn't calculate it into my budg-

-No good then Davey.

-Aw c'mon Rich, it's just a stu-

-It's just a stutter step, I know.

I want you to know, tony, that this all won't fall on you.

I'll do a painting for the overleaf of the program at the service.

Motifs from the mexican day of the dead.

Lol Janice was whack, with her extraordinary visualization skills.

Its a mother jumping lyric Jan.

That Tommy Mottola, he's one slow motherfucker.

Janice was Tony with ADD. How many stupid projects did she start and never finish?

"This is the life" - Brian(Carmela's Cousin)

"What life is that... ?" - Ralphie.

haha yeah with all the music videos shes directing and christian bands with their record deals. going with a smaller independant label naturally...

i like the scene when Janice is explaining to the russian one legged woman that stealing her leg made her find god.

then she says "ohh you are most boring woman" and just walks past lol

Get Pudgey Walsh on the horn, he'll sort this out.

Finn DeTrolio, my arch nemesis. - Vito Spatafore

Dr. Fried: Close. I'm a prick doctor.

Don't forget I am a strict Catholic. I agree with that Senator Sanitorium, if we let this stuff go too far pretty soon we'll be fucking dogs.

There's a similar exchange when Tony and Gloria Trillo are at the zoo, and he shits on the Buddhism angle when he discovers her talisman. Gloria zings him back about Catholicism, "which you practice every fucking day."

You're so high on skag, you wouldn't know if he had your mother's muff on his head.

I love/hate that episode -- love the Ralph prank call on Nucci, and love Tony bagging on Chris (which really calls Tony's judgement into question -- why not get a more reliable Furio for this dump job?)

But the killing of Ralph was anti-climatic.

Something i could never tell, was it Ralph who caused the arson at the stable ?

His coach turned into a pumpkin - Paulie

Even Cindarella didn't cry - Phil Leotardo

https://youtu.be/kKu14HdgeZA?t=1m28s

[on gay vito]

Chris
"He's fuckin' stalking you, T"

Sil
"That's a thing with the gays, it's from living in the closet, makes 'em devious"

I don't think so. Ralph was an emotional trainwreck -- offering to marry Rosalie, setting up a fund in Jackie Jr.'s memory, etc.

Ralph's killing was more Tony's sociopathy (the love of animals over human life) and his overreaction.


Not to hijack a thread, but something to think about. A friend of mine and I had discussed this episode awhile back -- in a way, the episode was a metaphor for the looming Iraq War (this aired in late 2002 when there was sabre-rattling from the Bush administration against Iraq).

- The episode title was a question immediately after 9/11 - whoever did this
- Tony had a long simmering hatred for Ralph and this was a handy excuse to whack him, evidence or not (and there wasn't)
- The rest of the Soprano family was cowed into compliance...nobody dared to speak out about what happened

Richie Aprile: The attitude on that camel-nose fuck. He ever lays his hand on my niece again I'm gonna tear him apart piece by piece.

Matthew Bevilaqua: Camel nose! You can't make that shit up.

Richie Aprile: What the fuck are you talking about? I just did.

Did you ever notice he's the only motherfucker who can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back?

That nose is like a natural canopy.

Then Matthew steps on his dick again and uses "homey," prompting the classic slip-and-fall-school response from Richie.

Haha Richie wanting to send Bevilaqua to slip and fall school.

If there's anything you can ever do for me, let me know.

AJ when he's on about how he can't leave home because he needs his moms cooking.

It could mess with his blood chemistry.

Just recently watched the one where Junior gets his hand stuck in the sink. After standing there for 6 hrs, Janice & Richie come to the house. The initial attempt to remove Junior's hand doesn't work and Richie says "you're flexiiiiiiiing!"

When he finally can sit, Janice asks Junior if he is coming to their engagement party. Junior immediately quips, "I don't give a shit whether you do or you don't."

Christopher: (on adopting) Some kid with chinky eyes called Moltisanti? He'd get his ass kicked every day

The beatles, the beatles, the beatles. Look, that's been 40 fucking years now. this makes me sick. - Richie Santini

What is he, nuts ? - Chrissy

When Junior says the "with what my fucking toes?!" line, the actor who plays Richie, David Proval obviously can't hold his laughter but he's not facing the camera at the time.. but still you can easily tell.

The scene where everyone is laughing except Feech.

I wish i could get a better picture, cracks me up everytime when it zooms in on Feeches face.

Great scene. Tony realizes that none of his guys are really "friends" but rather just employees. Feech's face is priceless. It reminded me of when he told the story of "setting a precedent" in prison:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEGmJclcmZw

The scene where all the guys are in the back of the deli talking about hallucinogenic drugs.

Paulie Walnuts: I got dosed with acid once, back in '68.
[to Tony]

Paulie Walnuts: I was with your dad and them at the Copa. Fuckin' BOAC stewardess put it in my drink. Jerry Vale's singin' and I look over. Your Uncle Jun's got fuckin laser beams shootin' out his eyes balls!

Carlo: "Bobby did mushrooms once. A whole fuckin platter of em".

Hows he doing - Janice(asking about Uncle Junior)

He's Knucklehead Smith, That's how he's doing - Tony

Georgie and Christopher digging up the polack

Georgia : is that him ?

Christopher : now that'd be some fkking coincidence if it wasn't

Haha i love that scene.

Always wondered why Chrissy took Georgie on such high level business.

Guess he was suffering from a case of "cowboyitis" as Tony put it.

A great Junior moment:
"Your father never had the makings of a varsity athlete"

https://youtu.be/1HakM73YbZQ

I'm dying just watching this loop over and over again. Enjoy all.

Anytime i order take away food and it turns up wrong, the first thing i yell is "Motherfucking Goddamn Orange Peel Beef"

and everyone looks at me as if im mad lol

When golfing I say.... " Oh Taylor Made"

No one gets its a T quote.

What's wrong? You all right? - Is it his heart?

No.

It's this fucking weather, sudden changes.
Fucks up your respiratory system.

https://youtu.be/80dGNwE4_c8

I almost urinated on myself when Christopher started to cut off Ralph's head and pulled off his wig..

When I was a little kid, no older than that, I always used to wonder why nobody collected prayer cards like they collected baseball cards.

Thousands of bucks for Honus Wagner and jack shit for Jesus. - Uncle Junior

Any scene with Paulie in Italy..

There he is John Barrymore.

He's a good kid your cousin - Feech

Hes a fucking weirdo if you ask me - Junior lol

Hesh always kept up with the latest statistics in the tri-state area.

"Now, statistics show that most single-car fatalities are the result of guys popping their load behind the wheel."

Bobby and Uncle Jr have some funny scenes together..

This is why you cannot talk to your father about upsets and drama in your relationships. Such an authentic and funny scene to us girls. Talk to your mudda

http://youtu.be/1xsweeNXQ0E




(Authentic yes- Minus the living together part which would never fly with my Pops)

http://youtu.be/F09rMHBWQhw

When Paulie has just come out of jail and there all in the Bing, then his favorite song gets put on.

What the fuck, why is this his song? - Bobby

Always makes me laugh. As does, so... just back from college huh ?

And Paulie looks pissed.

Uncle Jun, I'm afraid I have bad news.
Bobby's dead. - Janice

Ambassador Hotel. - Uncle Junior

When Janice went through the whole anger therapy thing and Tony pissed her off at Sunday dinner... Tony's smirk when Janice blows up is fucking priceless.

Take it easy, were not making a western here - Uncle Junior

Paulie to Richie



Paulie: "Hey, you're gonna build Beansie a ramp!"

Richie: "I'll build a ramp up to your ass .....drive a Lionel up in there."

"Are you a shining example for the huge collection of wingtips and loafers that must be lodged up your lower bowel?” - Melfi

What episode is it that Jr is in the prison hospital or whatever and they ask him if he wants a ham pie? His response is priceless if anyone knows what I'm talking about

One of my favorite episodes, is where Paulie and Chrissy are fighting with each other.

Starts with Chrissy telling the story of the pine barrens at the bing, where Paulie loses his shoe. "Chrissy don't leave me here"

I tell you, its over between me and him this time.

That was a good story, dammit - Vito

then Paulie orders the bottle of champagne for the broads at the table at Chrissys expense haha.

Chrissy he's fucked up.

don't these assholes have medication there meant to take.

The waiter should have kept his mouth shut..

Every time Georgie says something stupid and Tony slaps him around...

One of my favorite scenes. Cracks me up every time

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqgoXVB20W4[/video]

He also should have learned to keep his mouth shut..

Its so good to have a "man" around the house. - Carmela

Yeah, you should of thought of that before.. - AJ

Cue, two seconds later, AJ whining like a bitch for his moms help because of the bear lol.

This is scarface, final scene, fucking bazookas under each arm, SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND - Chrissy

Always with the scenarios - Silvio

At the BadaBing:

Christopher Moltisanti: My point... What the fuck?... It's babies. They're the future. You realize by the time Caitlin's outta college it'll be like the year 2027 or somethin'.

Paulie Walnuts: She takes after you she won't be outta fourth grade by then. 'Course by that time she'll be workin' here so who gives a shit.

What I don't get is... Everybody laughed at that joke. I mean, shit, we're talking about a made guy and another made guy is basically calling his newborn a whore. Isn't that crossing the line?

...I guess because it was a joke.. everyone was drinking .and Christopher was drunk off his ass....and Paulie and him were anyways bickering anyway.

Tony Soprano: Call him what you will but you're talkin' about one of my captains.

Phil Leotardo: Captain? The Good Ship Lollipop, right?

Tony: "There's a buzzer under the desk, an office in the back."...so Furio smashes through the door with the baseball bat instead.


I was expecting the Asian woman to say, "You go, I love you long time."

non ti preoccupare, non ti preoccupare!

Tony's mistake, bringing over the Furio Guinta.



and then he was all like...

With regards to Furio, below is another great scene, the acting in this is amazing.

Yeah very powerful scene De Niro.

A scene i completely forget about is in Commendatori, when the kid lets off firecrackers and Furio gives him a slap.

Tony and Paulie are all like, "hey its just firecrackers".

Who told you this was the way to go about it lol.

Tony: What is that?

Irina: Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Tony: You should read Tomato Sauce for your Ass. It's the Italian version.

Jackie Jr's big sit down

"Normally I would never get involved with a stranger"

"Y'know who my father was?"

"It would be a big favor to me"

I absolutely pissed myself laughing at these scenes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FdjOga6bqQ

At this sit down he thought he was Vito Corleone haha,all that was missing was a cat for him to stroke.

lol, the way he looks back at Dino as if he's his consigliere.

Do you know who my father is ?

Brendan Filone, associate? Soldier?? Fuck you! - Chrissy

Mary DeAngelis: (bell rings) Oh my God!!! Who could that be!!!

Carmela Soprano: It's the Boston Strangler...Jesus, Ma.

How would you like it, if little oriental children were laughing at you?

Tony to Dr. Melfi

Trees, Ducks What the f are you Ranger Rick?

Paulie to Tony in Italy referring to the senile mafia Don. ."if you give him a golf club. ..he probably try to fuck it"...lol

A scene i never really caught before on Season 1 at the wedding.

Big Pussy when he says that if he's going on the lam, he wishes he never gave the bride a G-note as a present.

Cue the next scene Big Pussy hastily leaving the wedding and you see him taking his envelope back out of the gifts haha.

Tony: I already got a girlfriend. She's Russian, 24. How old are you?

Dr. Melfi: I find it interesting that it took you so long to tell me you have a girlfriend.

Tony: How are you doing with it?

Christopher: " I fell asleep...She must of crawled under there for warmth."

"We're with the Vipers"

"guy jumped out of a tree. come at me with a chainsaw"

"You know, we're already in the 21st century, Tone".

Tony: What you saying, i've got another Uncle ?

Uncle Junior: Sharp as a cueball.

You finished ? - Tony Soprano

Thank you T. - Matt Bevilaqua

Because that sugarless motherfucker, is the last fucking drink your ever gonna have. - Tony Soprano

ARTIE Santa Maria! Yes!

RICHIE Santa Maria? More like fuckin' Santa Claus.

They're animals, Vic. They started a fire in my dumpster, and, these two guys came to see me one night. You got no idea what dead eyes means until you face these people, in your fucking bathrobe and flip- flops.

Face it Carmella he pissed his pants.

No, fuck you! I don't know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I've been good to you, and you pay me back with non stop ass rape?

Great scene..

The staff likes Mrs. Bucco.

Mrs. Bucco had nice breasts

Thats why i made such a big issue out of the coke.

I raised a non-issue and he fell for it - Uncle Junior

So you're like a double agent now, huh ? - Tony

Fucking Matt Helm.

i almost died!

A CHINKY EYED KID NAMED MOLTISANTI?!?!? HE'D GET HIS ASS KICKED EVERYDAY!

funny shit

He jumped out of the tree and came at me with a chainsaw.

I got a right to defend myself Tone. - Paulie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtRoz30Jof4

Leave that! Don't touch that. My program's coming on. John, love ya, babe. Don't let me rot, now.

I was around the corner at Bacala's. Thought I would come by and say hello.

Oh, how's he doing?

He's fat.

"You keep up your bullshit, we're going to go wide with this thing"

when tony mentions vito came from behind and became the best earner of the family. i also like when tony tells carm she is entitled to shit. i use that line myself in real life. funniest moment is when ralphie calls paulie's mother and states he is detective mike hunt.

I'm watching season 4 right now. When Furio returns from his father's funeral with gifts for the Soprano children, including one for "Madoe".

funny moment when chrissy and paulie were feuding about who got the bill. the waiter came out pissed about a 16 dollar tip on an almost 1200 dollar tab. Chrissy hits him in the back of the head with a brick and the guy falls down and starts shaking. Chrissy asks, "Aren't these fucks suppose to take medicine for this shit? Paulie says, "He's really fucked up Chrissy" Shoots him, takes the money. as they are getting away Chrissy yells, "Thats my money Paulie" Hilarious.

"Go piss it away at blackjack, fucking assholes". lol. At least the waiter got a good barb in before getting killed. Paulie and Chrissie were classless. If Tony would have found out about this, at least Paulie would have been done, considering the 9 lives he gave Christopher. If Tony had found out about Paulie strangling Nucci's old friend to death, that would have been it for him, too.

I think it was meado. It's probably meant to be the Italian version of her name. Not sure it's really translates though.

One of the least realistic moments on the show. Paulie says nobody knows us does there so I wouldn't worry about the cops. If you're a big time organized crime figure , a capo , a guy with a jacket, they def know them. And u don't think there was any survailence? Johnny sack was there. No way the boss of jersey and the a New York boss meeting would not be watched. Then they shoot a fucking waiter ? Funny but not close to being real.

I think the scene that always makes me genuinely laugh is when Pussy is tracking Moltisanti on the Pokemon card bustout and runs the guy on the bike over, fleeing the scene lol.

Puss was just trying to ascertain the situation.

Just like Ralphie's joke.

Lol oakasfan.

I like the scene where Phils just come back from his heart attack and he says "im a cranky fuck lately".

lately ?

How about you get a bike, you fat fuck lol.

How was Florida?

Hot and sticky, like my balls.

.......

We're with Alcoholics Anonymous.

What's your name?

Well, we're anonymous.

John's folding laundry in fucking Danbury - Phil

Again with the vitamin's.

When paulie find out johnny sack lied to him with the all carmine asks about you and stuff...

There's a half-a-billion dollar industry devoted to it.

Ohh great, Prozac.

Tony: No, the music business. They write thousands of songs about this shit. ‘Tears on my Pillow,’ ‘Mona Lisa’… right?

Go on, go out get a blowjob.

Always makes me laugh that the army guy that Tony and Carmella go to visit, is the same actor who played the Jigsaw killer from the SAW movies.

Tobin Bell, can never take him in anything since the SAW movies. Its the voice.

The corp..the corp...the corp.

What's 0530 mean?

I just outlined for you a blueprint for total self discipline that would take you through your entire life and that's your only question?

Why do guys in the army or like spies use that o- thing when they tell time?

That'll be made abundantly clear to you.

There he is. I've been thinking about your problem.

Maybe it would help you, if you got shot. - Bobby.

What the fuck are you taking 'bout? "Got shot" ? - Rapper

Make you more popular too, raise your profile with ex lax.

Something easy, the fleshy part of the thigh. I'm a marksman - Bobby

You're a crazy motherfucker - Rapper

Classic episode. Tony, Paulie, Hal Holbrook and Deluxe the rapper watching the fight, on a dish that Deluxe's crew smuggled into the hospital. Only The Sopranos.

Anthony Infante: Listen, as far as that thing goes...the coffee with the chicory...

Johnny Sack: The fuck is that?

Anthony Infante: Oh shit. I suck at talkin' like this John, I'm sorry. Our friend with the stomach.

Johnny Sack: In town or near home?

Anthony Infante: Your neighbor. A.S.

Johnny Sack: Yeah, all right. Just say the thing I asked you to do. The coffee with the fuckin' chicory. Is he gonna get it for me?

Anthony Infante: Yes. Bad news is that he wants ten cups for himself. Not seven.

Johnny Sack: Alright. Done. Did you pick up the birthday cake for Gin with the marzipan flowers?

Anthony Infante: The stuff behind the pool?

Johnny Sack: No, an actual fuckin' cake. It's her birthday.

Business slow...

"What can we say about this guy. The ancient Romans had a word for it: Asshole!" - Larry Boy Barese, toasting Raymond.

I Love that scene ! All the family (exept chrissy) togehter eating dinner when tony had his speech.

This one never fails to make me laugh where Vito falls out of the chair.

[video:youtube]https://youtu.be/aNSpVvqqlJU[/video]

haha at the crazy horse

You should play Skynyrd!

What do you want to do, hesh? I'm guided by you.

He's got to do the right thing, that's what.

Ohh! Hey.

You're way our of line, kid.
Let's get some cold fucking fizzy water on your head.

Tony Soprano: You know, you got a reputation for immaturity, and its not gonna be improved by not paying the tributes the acting boss demands of you.

Brendan Filone: Acting boss my ass Tone. Come on, everybody knows you really run things since Jackie became the "Kemo Sabe."

Tony Soprano: Open the fucking door...open the FUCKING DOOR!!!

Throws Brendan lol

haha.
btw i still don't get why tony hate him so much, but when mikey killed him tony was mad and punch mikey and was furious on junior...

Tony was lucky that Noah didn't "punch his fucking lights out".... lol

Noah stood up to Tony. Said "fuck you" to him, right to his face. Kept seeing his daughter, despite being threatened.

Tony: Excuse me. How's he doing? I'm a relative.

Doctor: He slipped off the kitchen counter spraying for ants?

Tony: Well...he was wearing socks.

The roof is soft tar !.... THE ROOF IS SOFT TAR !

Then frankie's gotta put one in his old man's head!

Blam... then another one blam..

Fucking brilliant.

Richie Aprile sending Matthew Bevilaqua to slip and fall school.

Natural canopy.

The attitude on that camel nose fuck.

I loved in "Pine Barrens" when Gloria threw the beef at Tony. The next scene he sees Junior, who asks "What've you been eating - steak?"

I laugh every time when Sil and Carlo whack fat Dom and throw him on the table ruining a whole plate of meatball and they're both standing there catching their breath when Dom's phone goes off playing beethoven. The way they both look at him at the same time, and then Sil screams a f bomb.

That is cosa nostra comedy at its finest.

That's a great episode in general, also when Bobby walks in the room with all his hunting gear on and Tony just bursts out laughing.

Nothing beats Junior's card game in the mental institution... even while he's got Alzheimer's he still knows how to run a card game, like he has done his entire life. And the jokes are hilarious too.

"White buttons are five bucks. Red buttons are 10."

"Red Buttons? (laughs)"

When they filmed Pine Barrens, Gandolfini didn't know Schirripa would be wearing that ridiculous Elmer Fudd outfit. That's what made Tony's laugh so genuine.

Lol Really ?!

I heard what made him laugh so hard was because Bobby came out holding a dildo. They wanted him to make it look like he was laughing at his outfit but in reality it was something else.
I recall them talking about that scene and James Gandolfini telling Schirripa before they filmed it 'You better make me laugh tomorrow' so Schirripa came up with the dildo idea.

It was always funny to me how Tony's doughter was fucked by a nigro and than he left her like a hood rat. Big time mob boss, lol. Also Anthony jr always looked like he was brain damaged and and a stupid fat slob with no balls. Plus I don't know about you guys but Carmela, Tony's wife was ugly as a dog.

Michael Giovanni, that was it. Thanks for the correction.

No Problem OakAsFan. You can tell the way Tony laughs that he really got cracked up at that. No acting needed there.

Another scene in Pine Barrens that is hilarious is after Christopher shoots the deer and Paulie says "I lost my shoe."

I knew there was some rouse there to get a spontaneous reaction from Gandolfini. I think Schirippa told the dildo story on the Joe Rogan podcast. Great episode, btw. Should be in his free archives. Schirippa tells stories about the Sopranos and working in Vegas. Doesn't disappoint.

I checked out some of the podcast interviews on youtube. Pretty good stories on there.

I never knew that he wore a fat suit early on in the sopranos.

"You threw food at Vito. That's gotta be resolved."

One of my favorite scenes is when Carlo is talking shit about Vito and Tony snaps at him, calling him a shit earner.

Made me LMAO.

*fart*

When chris told that junkie guy corky that vito is not gay, and to watch out because he is talking about a captain, and then he said that when benny and the others came to see him at his gooma's place he ran off haha that's was funny !

When they're all at Tonys house for Chris's intervention and Paulie calls the counselor guy a two-time loser or something to that effect.

Junior with his hand stuck in the drain.

"You're flexingggggggggg."

I will never speak another word to you again, settimia.

Grandma, aunt settimia's dead.
It's me, meadow.

Facia bruta!

Grandma, it's meadow, remember? Come sit down.

Yes.
Meadow.
Ohh! I can't stay in this house, honeybunch.
Not while that facia bruta is in here.

Junior talking to Richie in the doctors office: "Federal marshals are so far up my ass, I can taste Brylcream.

LoL

Do me favor Huh, hold This"

https://youtu.be/rqo3zzSE1tU

Meteor.. Meteor..!

I was watching season six again today and Tony had just returned from Vegas.

He tells the guys he did some magic mushrooms.

Carlo says Bobby did Mushrooms once....stuffed, the entire tray.

haha that was a good one

How about Bobby's slow motion dunk just before Tony beats up Perry?

What was he drinking...Beer or a Coke?

Also, what made Tony puke after that and was he thowing up blood?

Yes, Tony was throwing up blood. Hadn't recovered from surgery. Yuk. Camera angle was from the ceiling, but you could see that red in the toilet. They must have thrown tomato juice in there.

Yes , without a doubt.
I watched it again today.

Tomato soup for the soul, of course.

Uncle Jr getting his hand stuck in the sink was funny.

"You're flexiiiing".

And the blender mess

haha, Pine Barrens..

also a funny one is in the sitdown with ralphie and paulie
tony is saying ralph give him 12k
the face of paulie lol he is shock ! he thought about 50k haha

"Tomorrow I'll be on time, but you'll be stupid forever"

Tony ruled against Paulie because of the Russian.

Is this the same scene when Furio slipped on the ice. haha

yeah !
funny episode

Silvio - Say 'bupkus' Paulie that's how they say 'nothing'

Fuck that this is how I say nothing. How do you like that for nothing.

I miss this show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkxmstBuB24

poor Georgie

Yeah Georgie took a few beatings from Tony, but Tony went too far..

"Do you think ice grows on trees?"

Lol I think he deserved it twice about the ice on trees and the bar scene about terrorists putting bombs into shipping containers . He really didn't know when to shut up. He shouldn't of opened his mouth when they were talking at the bar

Chris

https://youtu.be/7gzdDacz9Ps

The Christopher intervention is hysterical too.....

Pauly asked "was the good barking?"....lol

Mikey Palmice asking the black guy what happened here after throwing the drug dealer from the brigde and he goes like "Some sad shit...mothafucka said he didn't want to live no more".

Mikey Palmice would eventually die of Fuckface-itus.

https://goo.gl/images/SBtdQ1

Richie Aprile--The attitude on that camel nose fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Kw5jsOH78

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsxthFO-HWs

This one is my favorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drh8MNLDt1k

Catcher not pitcher

Carlo's face at 0:49

Pauly was The Best...... the old ladies and so many more.

I miss the show so much...

I’m surprised we do not see Pauly and any of the other main guys more often or doing great stuff.