My Fan Fic Site.

Check it out I only made one so far I'm waiting for reviews before I make more.

http://www.freewebs.com/the_irish_godfather/index.htm

Ugh. What's with the tense changes? You use about three different tenses in the first paragraph. It hurts to read.

Sentence structure is pretty bad, and there's no suspense in the writing.

Fanfiction is something you should leave for sitcoms and anime. Please, don't taint Puzo and Coppola.

Hey T C ... i like ur web cool layout n all ,.... i realy like the story 2 it was a cool idea but the language is a bit poor but i like the idea ... also i will contact you myself and give you also a story im writing if u dont mind and u can post it on ur site ... keep up the good work man

I'll be totally honest dude, that was really bad.

Good story idea, but I don't think you tried hard enough.You should work on your sentence structure and vocabulary,and SLOW DOWN abit cause' you seemed to be rushing. This might seem a little nit-picky,but you might try to think of renaming it to.If you revise your story,and study your writing,it will turn out pretty cool.Otherwise,good concept.